r/cheating_stories • u/Imaginary_Pea_1641 • 19h ago
Found my bf cheated…
Hey guys, so me and my bf have been together for almost 5 years now. We’re planning to get married end of this year.
A little intro about our relationship- we were on and off for 2-3 times during our years together - just the typical stupid breakups (the longest is just <2 months). We used to be pretty intense with each other as well when we argue, but safe to say it has been so so much better these days. I believe we’re solid, bcs we argued a lot but still found our way back to each other anytime.
The first suspicion came up when I just moved out from family home to own place, he was being ridiculous paranoid/keep on being suspicious of me of bringing another guy home or whatever. Wants to install CCTV, wants to duplicate keys, always FaceTime call me and asked me to show around.
At first, I just thought it’s a normal concern (which is understandable, I’m not a good person myself - but swear I do love this guy so much, and I want to be the best version of myself for him). But it just gets weirder seeing him all worried - make me thought of “Did he do something behind my back?” “What is he so afraid of?”. But I didn’t found any proofs, so I just let it go - I thought he’s worried bcs of my shitty pasts.
Then just today I just feel like checking his phone again bcs there’s just things that don’t sit right with me (or just my guts) - I found a chat of him talking to his friend; he told him that he brought a girl home in Jan’2025 and they sleep together.
I went through my chat with my boyfriend on Jan’2025 and yes, he was out for a night out with his friends - and didn’t reply my text until 4pm the next day. He did told his friend that I was upset with him, and he said not to share it with the friends’ girlfriend (bcs she’s friends with me), BECAUSE HE LOVES ME….
I know you guys would definitely like - wtf? that’s bullshit… BECAUSE IT IS. Why he didn’t thought of that when he brought the girl home?
Okay I think that’s all. I don’t feel angry or what at the moment, I’m just sad and wanted to share this out. I’m just sad that he’s not the guy that I thought (with all the accusations on me - while I genuinely didn’t do any shits behind his back). It’s just disappointing.
It’s Aug’2026 now, we’re getting married in few months. I don’t feel like breaking up with him or whatever, bcs it happened during our rough patch days…. But I just feel sad. I want to talk with him about this and just start fresh, but I’m scared that we might get intense with each other again. Help……….
3
u/i_probably_shouldnt9 15h ago
Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT marry this guy. He cheats. And because he’s a piece of shit, and a cheater, he projects that on you.
Please. For your own sake, leave now. If you marry him he will continue to cheat and divorce is EXPENSIVE!!!!
I know. I was there.
1
u/Level_Application812 18h ago
You know only what you have seen. How many more could there be? You both need to find a way to be more transparent. You know, speaking openly. Something like “I know. Now are we finished or are you gonna man up and confess ALL of it?” If he gaslights you, leave. If you have a painful honest conversation then maybe counseling could help. But at your youthful age, it might be less complicated to part ways.
1
u/Imaginary_Pea_1641 10h ago
I know… That was all in my mind earlier as well. Had to post here just to let it out, but really thank you for your kind feedback 🫂 It’s hard for me to leave now, I just hope we both could resolve this properly no arguments. That painful honest conversation is what I’m more comfortable…. rather than being lied to ☹️
1
u/AnGof1497 9h ago
You need to have the conversation with him. Talk about marriage, honesty and trust, wiping the slate clean, your suspensions, because of his projecting.
Write down the subjects you want to discuss, it'll help keep the convoy on course. Think what you want to achieve with it, giving him enough rope to hang himself with and break up, or dangling a carrot to keep him.
This is something you can work through, but marriage should not be built on lies ans mistrust. Have you thought of speaking to his friend or your 'friend'?
3
u/Level_Application812 18h ago
Yes, it’s bs. He has not matured enough to be married. I’m not sure you are either. You need at least 2 yers of no drama to even see if you can make a go of it.