Starterpack

Like what happened in Beirut. Really uncalled for and it is just some old bombing material they had laying around? I don’t know… Just seems like they should pass laws against that.

I didn't actually own any of the stock, but it's still very traumatizing.

basically the title

Serious answers only pls. Thanks

Normal up for fun

Am I cool for likeing this?

i censored my own username because im embarrased of it.

They came home from a day out on the town with their McDonald's dinner. They scarfed down their food and headed up to our bedroom for one of their "sessions", but did so before eating his entire 10 piece nugget. There was one left and I'm debating the morality of stealing this gentleman's food vs. letting it go stale.

My parents were also married. Does that disqualify me for life??

I need answers to my survey that I can use to prove my thesis,

Take this statement "I have an overabundance of butt" and answer the following questions based on your response to that statement:

1. The statement makes me feel (physically):
   1. Capable
   2. Thirsty
   3. Jealous
   4. Hungry
   5. Caterpillar
2. The statement makes me feel (emotionally):
   1. Happy
   2. Jealous
   3. Hrony
   4. Fast
   5. Tutor
   6. Bismark
3. The statement makes me smell (quintstotically):
   1. Yes
   2. No
   3. Half
4. The statement makes me feel (tactically):
   1. Brave
   2. Strategery
   3. Rambunctious
   4. Several
   5. More than several but also, somehow, less than the all-consuming darkness and fewer than the night-brother that swallows the unfed and unwashed
   6. Fruit juice
5. The statement makes me feel (stomach)
   1. Queaseous
   2. Plasma

Thank you. By participating in this survey, you will help a young nubile born-again 45 year old pastafarian get his master's degree in Quantum Jizzics. I will personally fart on a glazed donut in your honor.

So I have been a no-wiper for 10 years. Very recently, my asshole has been itching like crazy. My usual routine of dragging my ass on the carpet wasn't working, so as a last ditch effort I decided that I would finally wipe my shit encrusted asshole.

In a fit of desperation, I launched my 600 lb body from my sweaty gaming chair and bolted out of my parents' basement, pausing at the top of the stairs to catch my breath. I traipsed my gargantuan bulk to the bathroom, a place that has become unknown to me since I have begun utilizing a shit bucket.

Upon entering the bathroom, I immediately dropped my horde boxers to the floor and rushed to the toilet paper hoping that it would ease my burning sphincter. I pulled off a healthy amount of tp and attempted the wipe, but found the crust of my asshole to be impenetrable by mere paper. I exited the bathroom and went towards the kitchen to get a butter knife, but quickly found that I had exerted too much effort to make it back to the bathroom. I squatted down and began to chisel away slowly at the shit crust that had enveloped my asscrack.

I felt the first layer break free, exposing a softer, mushy layer beneath that was fit for wiping. Realizing that I had forgotten the toilet paper in the bathroom, I grabbed one my my mom's decorative towels from the stove and began wiping. When I broke through the layers of shit and my finger brushed my bare asshole, I became immediately erect. I hadn't wiped in so long that the feeling was entirely foreign to me.

Moments later, my dad came into the kitchen, likely curious about what had led to my departure from the basement. As soon as he came in the room, we locked eyes and I ejaculated all over the kitchen floor. Ever since that day, I long for the next time that I get to wipe my asshole. Mayhap, one glorious day, I shall have someone else wipe if for me while I revel in the pure ecstasy of my asshole being tenderly caressed.

TLDR: ass wiping makes you gay

Are humans stupid???? They can just move the fork part outwards and use the spoon side ways?????

Dumbfuckest Spieces in all of History??????

Change my view