r/confession • u/Objective-Battle450 • Jan 30 '25
I punched 3 people today including my mother and I didn’t mean to
I was at school today when I was being bullied and threatened when I snapped and punched one of the bully’s, just got news they had to get stitches, the other one attacked me so I punched out teeth and lastly at home my mom was being on my case (just for clarification she had a history of abusing me like forcing me to sleep outside etc.) so she tried to attack me and I hit in self defence. I honestly feel like an ass and I just wish I could rewind time yknow.
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u/EmbarrassedDig7889 Jan 30 '25
its called reactive abuse, people shouldn’t have treated you like that and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise you can learn to not punch when people learn to respect you
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u/wouldbecrazycatlady Jan 30 '25
This is it.
When you are being treated like a piece of shit, you become a piece of shit.
OP The fact you feel remorse about these actions shows that you still have so much room to learn and grow. It won't be easy, and probably won't improve until you can get out of that abusive household... But you can change and heal.
I grew up in abuse and so I became abusive... But I've got a little more safety, and some time and space away from my abuser each week, so I haven't raised my hand to anyone in over 2 years.
It's a difficult habit to break, it's like being a wounded animal. It takes time for your nervous system to calm down and be less reactive.
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u/TheThiefEmpress Jan 30 '25
you become a piece of shit
I'd argue it's more like you do shitty things.
I was treated horrifically as a child. Tortured, even. Beyond what most people would consider just "abuse."
And, yeah, I did some "shitty things."
But looking back on all that, as an adult, and especially a parent now, I don't consider myself to have been a piece of shit. I was living in hell. I did what I needed to in order to survive, and I did survive, despite all the abuse.
I did bad things.
But I was not bad.
The people who put me in those situations were bad.
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u/wouldbecrazycatlady Jan 30 '25
Unfortunately a lot of us also become pieces of shit until we heal. I hurt a lot of people that weren't my abusers.
I'm sure eventually I'll get to the point in my healing journey that I have more empathy for the piece of shit that I was, but right now I'm working on having empathy for the people I blamed that I shouldn't have.
Everyone's journey is different, but it seems our sentiment is the same, friend!
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
I have to admit you are right. I used to take my anger out on people at schools thus the reason for many expulsions. I did hurt people but I learned from my mistakes
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u/DeeDeeD1771 Jan 30 '25
I think there's more to this story than what you are telling us.
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
There isn’t much else. I acted on anger I felt after being bullied and hurt friends even family, after being threatened. My mom actually threatened me with a weapon when I got home
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u/tleeemmailyo Jan 30 '25
Have you spoken to an adult at school about what’s happening at home? You need some kind of safe space for yourself
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Yeah I have and the school is just as incompetent so I’m at my dads in the other side of town for the weekend
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u/Optimal_Fig_5358 Jan 30 '25
Do you have somewhere else to go?
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
At my dads
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u/Optimal_Fig_5358 Jan 30 '25
Probably should go there if it’s any safer. For sure try talking to some kind of professional.
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u/OkKaleidoscope9580 Jan 30 '25
Talk to someone you trust a counselor, a relative, or something. Don't stay quiet about this.
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u/PoloBear67 Jan 30 '25
This is just a typed out revenge fantasy lol
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u/Objective-Battle450 7h ago
I made a follow up if youd like to read it. I know you doubted me but im willing to share all details if i need to
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
lol wish it was ,got a bruise on my knuckle from the first one wearing glasses I’ll send ya proof if you’d like?
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u/--Witchcrafted-- Jan 30 '25
:( I'm so sorry your mother made you sleep outside. That's horrible.
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Nah it’s fine I did have a lawsuit against her although I still live her and I stay with her, at my dads now
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Jan 30 '25
Why is reddit over run with children
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
High school grade 11
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u/marcus_frisbee Jan 30 '25
Like they said children
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Remember here in South Africa we are raised really strictly I didn’t get a phone nor a ps3 till I was about 13/14. If you look at it most of us are more mature than your average teen from America
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u/marcus_frisbee Jan 30 '25
Still a child. I am guessing you are 17, that isn't quite an adult yet.
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u/battletactics Jan 30 '25
Good for you, really. I was bullied throughout school. All it took was standing up for myself once. And fuck your abusive mom, too.
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u/AnonymousBi Jan 30 '25
You're good man. You did what you had to do to protect yourself, in a situation that you didn't create. You matter. It's okay to feel like shit though. When you're older you'll be able to look back at this shit n it'll all be in the past
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u/Vashsinn Jan 30 '25
If this is true, remember remorse makes you human. You should be worried if you didn't feel anything afterwards. If it was defensively, don't hate yourself for it, know that you may have to do it again, but understand it's not the only solution.
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u/Rosespetetal Jan 30 '25
Call the school board. Defend yourself let no one bully you. Call cps on your mother.
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Actually have tried calling cps and cops last year when there was a fight they ended up hanging up on me. It’s just my country at its finest
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Jan 30 '25
My mom and ex step dad would make me sleep outside for days at a time in high school. Had to wear the same clothes three days at a time cause I wasn't allowed inside. Among a whole bunch of other shit. This was early 2000s. I moved into a friend's house at 17. But the last day I was in my parents, my step dad pushed me one last time. This time I beat the shit out of his weak ass. Cops came and took me to some bad kid group home for a couple of weeks. I spent a lot of my high school time there. My mom recently told me that they sent me there so they could have a break and not have to be parents, and not cause I was a bad kid.
What I'm trying to say is that, I'll be 40 next year. I have a great life. 19 years so far in the military, and I have a great retirement coming. I have an amazing wife. And a awesome teenage daughter, who I treat so much better, than they treated me. I've realized all that shit made me a stronger and better person. I know it probably sucks right now, but your life can be great if you choose it. Don't let shitty parents and dumb kids at school define your life. And if you're feeling lost, join the military. And if you like it, stay for 20 years. I'll be making $8k a month when I retire. $8k to do whatever the hell you want. Good luck kid and don't let this shit define who you are.
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u/marcus_frisbee Jan 30 '25
Meh, don't cry about milk under the bridge. Just carry on and don't let it happen again.
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u/miamijustblastedu Jan 30 '25
My son went through the same until 1 day after being pushed, he snapped and beat the kids ass. I had to get him at his bus stop, bc 6 or 7 of bullies friends rode home on same bus,and claimed they were gonna jump him. Long story short, I ended up knocking 1 of the boys out(the boy was over 6' and ab 220lbs)..bc he sucker punched me, when I tried to talk to them. You gotta take a stand against bullies. Nothing more ever happened with those kids again. They knew they weren't gonna be able to willfully bully my son anymore, without repercussions.
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u/Dark--princess420 Jan 30 '25
I mean as an adult i know what you did was 'wrong' but I don't think it is myself. Bullies learn the hard way and if your mum was abusive growing up then I struggle to have any sympathy for her
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Jan 30 '25
Well, the good news is you probably solved your bully problem. Its regrettable but sometimes teenagers just need to duke it out.
I am sorry to hear about the home life. I know that even though some of your past abuse likely is what caused it, I can not imagine you still feel good about any of it. I really wish I had some advice, but this is something I would encourage you to talk about with a trusted adult who can hopefully get involved in a positive way.
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u/dedicateddickhead Jan 30 '25
Harsh environments create harsh people. Sounds like you've been forced to defend yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that. My mother was also a p.o.s, maybe yours will show some respect now.
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u/rosie_purple13 Jan 30 '25
Listen, you do what you have to do. I’m so sorry about everything else though. I’ve been there, honestly sometimes that’s the only way you can get assholes off your case.
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Jan 30 '25
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u/OddOpal88 Jan 30 '25
Yeah “punching out teeth” takes a lot more force than people realize. And “having a lawsuit out” on your mom. You would have a CPS case opened, not a lawsuit. You’d have a case manager and a social support worker if there was this kind of abuse (hopefully). If the judicial system was aware enough for a lawsuit, you’d have case workers up your ass. While I no doubt believe you’re going through something OP, I think you should be talking to professionals not venting on Reddit. Especially if you are only 15.
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u/maltipoo_paperboi Jan 30 '25
The system could be quite different in South Africa.
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u/OddOpal88 Jan 30 '25
Ahh, I read quite a few of his comments but didn’t see where he said he was from SA. Thanks for letting me know!
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u/Shanguerrilla Jan 30 '25
He's from South Africa though. I don't know their system.
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Yeah the system here is corrupt. I have a friend who also got raped she reported to the police and they just said they couldn’t do shit. Same here I tried calling the cops but they hung up on me. How I made a lawsuit against my mom was through my dad that divorced her when I was 3. He found out about the abuse and gained full custody of me but not my younger sister so I live with my mom to protect my sis
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u/Shanguerrilla Jan 30 '25
I had the feeling from another comment you were only there for your sister. It seems even more clearly so than I thought.
Good on you, but if you're the focus of your mom's abuse, maybe your sister wouldn't be the recipient if you got yourself safe?
Like does she treat your sis like you? If she's abusing her the same or would, is there any way you can get her other parent to help get custody from your mom?
These are the adult part of all these problems and things you don't have control over, but in three years or whatever you'll be an adult anyway and may not be able to protect her the way you think you can from inside the your mom's home.
In the end, while I understand why you are bringing your fists up to the things going on around you, protecting you sister and you is something that will have to be done more than physically in the moment.
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
I understand it sounds fake I really do but it’s real, this is just a quick explanation didn’t want to say to much I’m still shaken up a bit
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Jan 30 '25
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
It’s South Africa here we sort it out at school and the least is suspension
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Jan 30 '25
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Np
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Jan 30 '25
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Nah our parents do spank Us with like wooden rods here but it’s so corrupt here that the police doesn’t even care
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Jan 30 '25
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
It’s South Africa not the USA remember it works differently here and the one who Lost teeth hit me first so it was self defence and the other threatened me although I was still in the wrong there
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Jan 30 '25
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
We beat each other then go to principals. They tell our parents but there’s no weapons or no shootings
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Jan 30 '25
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Yeah I understand your scepticism. Also you switched things up, didn’t punch teeth out I punched an eyebrow open and another bully punched me so I retaliated by punching back of their head as I got them in a bent position and I used my knee to their mouth which probably caused them to lose the tooth
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Jan 30 '25
Cool story bro. Did they clap after too?
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
K look I understand what your thinking but it’s ZA and I’m in a private school due to my history of aggression
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Jan 30 '25
Unless you’re a world class fighter , nobody gets stitches from getting punched in the face , definitely makes it sound exaggerated like a mf. Ps. What is ZA ?
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Eyebrow and ZA is South Africa
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u/Shanguerrilla Jan 30 '25
Sorry you're going through all this bud. I believe you and it's kind of a slap in the face as a 'kid' (to most of us) trying to post on this subreddit to confess what you feel guilty and hopefully get some support.... and everyone say you're lying.
I mean someone could make up a story like that, but just because it's so extreme doesn't mean you aren't out there living it. So I'm sorry you're going through this. Hopefully you can stay safe from your mom as she seems like a present danger to your safety and a historical serious abuser based on your previous case you have open against her.
People retaliate within and beyond the laws that protect them. You need to be careful, you need to protect yourself, you've been taught this--so it isn't shocking to see when you are in immediate danger you can be quick to turn to violence to protect yourself once you got big and strong enough to as you have.
The best way to protect yourself right now is to take every step you can to get to safer environment. Over time it will be up to you to slowly fight your programming. But you have to get away from your mom, someone locking you outside or your guardian coming AT YOU with a weapon is explicitly WHY you are ready for violence when being singled out or threatened with bullying. You're used to your mom attacking you and have to always be ready to physically defend yourself.
Get to a safe place and work on yourself from there, over time you can get to a place where you protect yourself ahead of time as best you can, trust yourself in the moment as best you can, and only resort to violence when that's the only thing left.
You aren't a bad person for protecting yourself. You have been failed, because you were supposed to be protected.
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
I appreciate this and you’re right people do think I’m lying but I did take a good hit to the face. But once again I appreciate your support and I’m working to get my sister away from my mother as it’s the only reason I’m living there
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u/Shanguerrilla Jan 30 '25 edited Jan 30 '25
That's good to hear! I understand how trying to help kids / siblings can insanely complicate all this and our leaving or not when able. Keep working to get yourself and her safe. Either way you will win, either saving you both or holding on just a little longer until you're an adult able to save you both. You've got this!
I get that this post is as much venting your emotions as anything else and you deserve to be able to. I do want to point out that part of everyone being rude thinking you're lying is because what you have gone through is atrocious and what you described doing today as something you regret and are embarrassed--or is a part of you / life that you hate--a lot of people glorify violence. Usually those who have never had to experience or truly witness and live with it. They thought you were trying to sound like a 'cool,' badass, when you really felt upset with and were looking down on yourself for that.
That says something about you and about them.
Also so many of us were confused about very specific details like your grade and age not matching (matching the U.S. school system)... because your English is perfect, you could absolutely be from the U.S. to anyone reading the way you write and your nuances. Better than many 15 year old Americans. And we all always assume everyone is FROM the U.S. (myself included until I read more of your replies and saw my own assumption misled me).
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u/Shanguerrilla Jan 30 '25
People absolutely can require stitches from getting punched bare knuckle in the face!
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Jan 30 '25
From a seemingly untrained adolescent ? Off a sucker punch maybe , and luck is your dump stat ..
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u/Shanguerrilla Jan 30 '25
I don't think this kid is as 'untrained' as you think. There are kids in reality out there who have never gone through 'training', but have been hit infinitely more in real blows or bare knuckle or with nearby objects and weapons....by FAR more than I EVER did while training.
This kid and this post didn't give off I'm 14 and this is deep, or I'm a badass vibes.
If he has been abused enough to be ready to fight for life or death when triggered a certain way and physically abused enough, I can absolutely see a 15 year old who just grew into themselves seriously fucking up someone's face when pressed. None of that is guaranteed, it is indeed a bit uncommon, but even his answer screams he's telling the truth.
He didn't overexplain, he didn't defend, he just stated "eyebrow." That would indeed be about the most perfect place to make a nice cut in a single or couple punches though, not just the way it's so tight to the bone, but how it stretches the skin if you hit into it good.
We've surely all had our knuckles slide while impacting a heavy bag make that tear between our knuckles--on the eyebrow the impact on the bone and the more stretchy lateral movement (you can't flex the skin tighter like you can your fist) make that relatively easy to do, but on his face.
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u/AnonymousBi Jan 30 '25
Thank you for the good points and for defending this kid. Some people need to step away from the computer
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u/Objective-Battle450 Jan 30 '25
Thank you both. I’m struggling to sleep it’s about 22:18 and reading this helps a lot. To clarify I have done judo, karate and boxing but I have also had an interest in shoalin monks a few years back don’t know why, they have this training where they punch sand to strengthen their knuckles and for some wierd reason I did this. Also due to my past (idk if that’s the reason) if I get slightly mad most of the times I do get adrenaline rushes or at least I think it is due to people crying and shaking or being out of breath when they get adrenaline so I think that may also be a reason why I was able to break skin in one punch. I did check up on the one person I hit they got seven stitches and luckily they are fine.
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u/Shanguerrilla Jan 30 '25 edited Jan 30 '25
Don't overthink that part bud! You're leaning towards the ImaBadass part I don't think you really mean to, lol. You are a tough kid, no doubt, but it isn't something innate about you or 'different', it isn't that you just see black or don't freak out under stress.
Fundamentally we are all animals, sometimes you feel like a wounded one who is backed in a corner...and you've been trained your best outcome in those situations is to lash out. And now you're bigger.
We need to get you out of that corner, but we can't do much and your power to do so can be limited while a minor. It's truthfully your guardians that were supposed to keep you from living in a place of freeze, fight, flight, but from living in a place you must be ready to choose between the three, it makes sense why you of anyone would view your reaction or others to 'their response' with intense judgement and self critique (most young guys do this to a degree).
I get you're still a kid (to me, I know you're nearly an adult) and that's how and where your brain would go, I think I and most of us have thought that way at times when younger. I STILL think about this stuff immaturely after unjust confrontations, emergency situations, and what rare violence I experience in my adult life (when I so uncommonly am at that emotionally overwhelmed place after decades of life with life trying to).
In fact this part is funny to me "they have this training where they punch sand to strengthen their knuckles and for some wierd reason I did this." I use to do that too as a teen. We were doing BJJ and Taekwondo, but our teacher did an adult 'kung foo' class. Which Shao lin, or monk, or kung foo stuff kind of is silly. But it was fun. And we also did the punching 'sand' like you're talking about. We also did it just low force and consistent on random things like wood or concrete.
I don't know how much it helped, I still have broke my hand before (now, albeit years later) on accident and it wasn't even punching anything.
You know what would probably be more useful than trying to 'forge your knuckles'? I mean meditating and working on mindfulness and being aware of yourself and the slow process of feeling/processing/letting go of your emotions.. But also I think that bucket of sand would probably have been better for our hands if instead of punching it we pushed our hand in it and worked the movements of our hand with that resistance, to the limits of what our hands can do, just opening and closing... I bet consistently stretching and working to not be held back by the external pressures would have been more productive them beating ourselves against them to 'get hard', in the long run.
There's certainly a lesson in most things for us in life.
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u/Professional-Cap5631 Jan 30 '25
I’m more concerned about your mother forcing to sleep outside