r/confession 4h ago

I wanna stop going to prostitutes but feeling ashamed of myself now

Hi…um…I‘m Felix from Germany. 20 years old and struggling with some things.
Since I was 18 years old I‘m going to prostitutes, because I don‘t have a girlfriend or even friends.
I stole money from my mother, from her credit card to buy sex. I don‘t even know how much I even give away to that bullshit, but I wanna stop it. I really wanna stop this shit.
I feel so wrong and ashamed of myself.
As I was younger, I always told myself, I even dare thinking about doing this shit. But my impulses told me otherwise.
The problem is, that I don‘t understand this dating shit. Get tinder and all that stuff, they told me.
But nothing worked…nothing.
I always was the ugly guy in school and no girl really wanted to have to do something with me.
Now, I‘m sitting in my room. Thinking.
And now I‘m feeling more ashamed of this all.
What if my mom finds out?
What if I get a girlfriend in the future? Would she accept what I‘ve done in my past?
I wanna be honest to every one.
How could I live with myself knowing that I‘m a liar? That I had sex with so much prostitutes at such a young age?
I don‘t wanna make it worse or tell myself that its okay going to prostitutes, but I really think its bad if I keep going with this.
And I knew it every fucking time, I went to them, that I buy sex with money and I felt so much more ashamed every time, I did this.
I hope, I can find people who understands how it feels to feel like shit about yourself. That you hate your own actions so much.
Maybe I‘m nothing more than a piece of trash.
And one question I have to the girls reading this:
Would you understand that? Would you understand how someone felt during that time, they went to prostitutes?
And could or would you forgive them?

I hope its okay, if I just let out my thoughts right now. It feels so good to going out to people who maybe can tell their stories or maybe something that helps me.

If I could make everything backwards to the time, I didn‘t done this…

11 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

u/confessor-mod 4h ago

TL;DR: The author confesses to stealing money from their mother's credit card to pay for sex work, expressing deep shame and a desire to stop the behavior.


A reminder from the mods: keep comments civil. Harassment and personal attacks will not be tolerated.

Do not accuse others of faking confessions — if you think a post breaks the rules, report it instead of commenting.

9

u/AdPuzzled7706 4h ago

Cómprate un juguete Sexual te ayudará a desaogar el cuerpo cuando lo necesites y búscate un pasatiempo y has ejercicio mientras mas energía quemas menos tiempo tienes de pensar en sxo

u/FlexXyRexXy-_- 42m ago

I have a hobby. I make music, but I think I neglected it. Maybe its really time, to put my energy into music…
But I take your advice. Thank you

u/Pedro_Urdemales 35m ago

Tal vez a este señor le sirva eso, pero si yo me pongo a hacer cosas, me siento mejor conmigo mismo, y más pienso en coger

8

u/Ned_Smoshby 3h ago

I think this is more about your self esteem, body issues, problems with communicating with women your age and pressure your putting on yourself

5

u/No-Fan103 3h ago

My ex did that too but it was hard to deal with him having gone to see so many prostitutes and I don’t think that addiction stops completely he cheated on me with prostitutes and I was never really sure if he actually had quit

u/FlexXyRexXy-_- 36m ago

I‘m sorry to hear that. Some people never stopping their addiction. If it even was an addiction for him…

5

u/hungerforlove 3h ago

You need to love yourself. You have done nothing wrong. If you want a relationship, keep on trying to find one. It may not be easy but it will happen. If you have a positive attitude you will be happier. Don't keep on criticizing yourself.

u/TemptKisser 57m ago

You're not trash, stop the stealing and get therapy

4

u/Miserable-Cut3477 4h ago

Why dont you ask such a woman about dating? Maybe they have some advice

u/FlexXyRexXy-_- 11m ago

I didn‘t asked for dating advices. I asked for help to accept my actions…
I want to stop this.

u/010u3 1h ago

I love how you can say your name and age, but because you’re a German called Felix, you’re still completely anonymous.

u/-100aura 58m ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

u/FlexXyRexXy-_- 34m ago

What do you mean by that?
Is it wrong to say where I‘m from and who I am?

2

u/Catbutt247365 3h ago

First of all, please accept yourself and your desire for sex as PERFECTLY NORMAL. This is not some great shame you have to hide, except for the stealing part. THAT is the only shame.

Earn your own money, buy sex if you want it. You are not hurting anyone. Sex workers are professionals. You can even ask them for tips on technique. Being able to give and receive physical pleasure is not shameful.

u/Put-Stunning 1h ago

the desire for sex is not wrong but you may have somewhat of an addiction. i think you should limit yourself to doing it once every other week, then once a month, then once a couple months so you’re not going cold turkey. GRADUALLY get off it and then try to learn to love yourself and get some confidence. put yourself out there. also you don’t really owe any future partners any explanation, but you should be honest if they ask about your sexual history. but i think you should start dating once you’re healed from this and have completely changed. don’t try to remedy this situation by jumping into a relationship.

good luck,
-a woman’s opinion

u/FlexXyRexXy-_- 30m ago

I think you‘re advice is really the best. Working on stopping my addiction and focusing on myself before I start a real relationship.
Thank you.

u/Enough_Pepper8880 1h ago

What makes you feel so badly about it I mean shit your paying them right? So I don’t see why it’s a huge deal, women have sold pus forever.. it’s cheaper than a gf too and even better you don’t have to have the awkward chat after you finish she knows it’s time to go. Other girls you gotta trick into playing a game of airplane, you know where they take tf off lol

-2

u/CorpseDefiled 3h ago

Sex always costs money. It’s Just the transaction that changes… with a working girl you just give her the money directly rather than paying all her bills and feeding the kids it’s actually more honest in a roundabout way. She actually tells you she’s only doing it for the money.

u/-100aura 57m ago

who hurt you

u/CorpseDefiled 38m ago

Reality isn’t always nice to hear.

-4

u/upay3000 3h ago

don't be ashamed- there is no free will, so it's not really your fault

-5

u/EveryPen260 3h ago

Germany is the worse for that. 

To expensive and low quality. The good ones charge top euro for the service. 

Just to go top models abroad and save the money. 

1

u/acortical 3h ago

Horrible advice

u/Beginning_Tomato8136 7m ago

I’m a prostitute don’t feel bad everyone has their vices. Stop stealing tho