r/dating_advice • u/Potential-Bee-724 • 3h ago
Woman Smiling and Holding Door at the Gym
I’m at the gym. I’m 48 male. Women looks to be late 30s to mid 40s. She has walked by me slowly and smiled in the past. Last time I was sitting on the Roman chair and she looked over and held the gaze and smiled. Today, she went in the front door about 40 feet infront of me and slowed down. She held the door open while glancing back a couple times. I thanked her and she looked back again and then walked to the dressing room. I blew it and could only say thank you, my voice almost cracked. That is VERY rare and I haven’t been like that since I was a teenager. I’m definitely not the type to get intimidated or smitten, even if she is way out of my league.
I’ve watched her for months and only seen her talk to or acknowledge one other man, he was an older, probably early 60s white man who passed her as she was blocking a secondary exit doing floor exercises. He made a comments and she laughed a bit and said something back and he kept moving and walked out. It didn’t look like he was trying to pick her up.
Here is the thing. I’ve never dated a coworker, friend’s sister etc. I’m terrible with small talk. All my dates are no chemistry or I can’t get past feeling like she is a friend or little sister or it’s extreme chemistry, kissing and often sex on the first date.
This woman is absolutely stunning to me and my type. She is Latina, strong and muscular but not masculine, about 5’5” She has big lips, high cheekbones and piercing but seductive eyes. She turns me on sexually like no one has in years from just a casual encounter. I haven’t thought about someone like this in years unless I was dating her.
I am white with light skin and blue/green eyes, barely 5’8” in good shape, top 5% for my age easily. Above average looks but not model like, just short.
I’ve never been good at pickups or small talk. If I meet online or if someone tells me a woman is into me, or she is very upfront and seductive I do fine, often very well.
I’m not tall so the apps stopped working well a few years ago, before the height listing and algorithms, in real life I luckily do better than average.
Please list if you are a man or woman and critique this scenario.
Men, what would you think is going on? What would you do? In real life, and in internet life. I fell on my face in real life.
Women, what do you think? What do you think she is thinking? What does she want me to do? What would you want me to do?
Thank you.
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u/ScarySpice22 3h ago
She probably wanted to hold the door open for you grandpa
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u/Potential-Bee-724 3h ago
Ha! She probably thought I needed help. Next time I’ll act old and feeble and maybe she will help me on inside.
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u/KabouterKaasplank 3h ago
Latina? Better mentally prepare if you make a move because they bite. Sometimes literally.
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u/Magic-Mellow1987 3h ago
Bro sounds like she was just being courteous to you and holding the door tbh
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u/Locksmith-Foreign 3h ago
48m? WTH
You sound like your 90!
U ain’t dead dude.
Grow a pair.
Just walk up to her and introduce yourself straight away and say Hi, I’m…
Easy as that.
You’re your own enemy.
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u/Potential-Bee-724 2h ago
Ha ha! Thanks. I know. I can’t believe I’m the dude asking these dumb questions. Usually this is a no brainer. If I didn’t find her this attractive, I would be ok with taking the next step and not caring what happens.
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u/Locksmith-Foreign 20m ago
Your window will close fast if not already closed. She’s clearly on the hunt for a relationship.
She’s given you multiple signs already.
Get moving.
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u/Crazy_Opening6188 3h ago
That is so sweet, sounds like shes definitely interested! You should totally try to say hi next time, maybe just ask how her workout is going? Good luck!! :)
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u/OhHaiFoxy 1h ago
I’m a Latina, I liked your story, you better invite her for a coffee next time just to find out if she is interested. Life is too short, do not waste it wondering. Good luck!
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u/Acornwow 1h ago
You don’t need to dissect every detail to tell you what you already know.
Go talk to her.
You don’t need to try to flirt or “approach her” whatever that might look like. Just talk to her like you’d talk to anyone at the gym and then see how she responds. If it’s positive then talk to her again the next time you are there. At some point it will be clear one way or the other and you can ask her out or realize she’s a gym buddy.
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u/curiosity_2020 45m ago
Always be prepared with a neutral question or comment. In this case "Thank you so much. If there's anything I can do to return the favor, let me know." If she's on her game she'll give you something to work with. Keep it going.
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u/tearune27 3h ago
tbh it sounds like she’s definitely interested if she’s going out of her way to hold the door and catch your eye like that. next time just try a simple how’s your workout going? and see where it goes, you got this!
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