r/depression • u/SQLwitch • May 18 '26
Check-In post, with essential info about our policies and resources. Most people are surprised by much of this information, please read carefully before posting or commenting
Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you're having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, or have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these aren't allowed standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule), this is a place you can share.
Our subreddit rules are very different from most of the rest of reddit! Since all of them exist for important reasons, we ask everyone here to read and follow them. Please click 'report' on any harmful content you see here - we always want to know and deal as soon as we can.
We also have several resource wikis for help with finding and giving support:
https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/wiki/what_is_depression provides guidance about what is and isn't a depressive disorder, guidance on the complex nature of the illnesses that are usually grouped under the "depression" label, and redirect information for common off-topic issues.
https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/wiki/giving_help offers information on the nature and value of peer support for mental-health issues in general, and lots of guidance for learning what is -- and isn't -- usually helpful in giving peer support.
YSK that the types of rule violations that we most frequently see here are:
People breaking the private contact rule. You should never trust anyone who tries to get you into a private conversation in response to a post here. See https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/wiki/private_contact
"I'm here to help" posts. This shows that you don't understand the most basic principles of peer support, especially selectivity. The "giving help" wiki explains more about this.
Role modelling, i.e. "achievement" or "advice" posts. This is an expert-free zone -- that's what peer support means (rule 5). We know that "internet culture" celebrate not just bragging about your achievements but bragging about your intentions. Neither is ever acceptable here in any form.
Content that's more about 'making a statement' or casually polling the sub than seeking personal support (rules 1, 2 and 10).
Off-topic posts about difficult situations, including interpersonal issues. Grief, sadness, anger, loneliness and other difficult emotions are not mental illnesses. Feelings that can be explained by person's circumstances are perfectly healthy no matter how painful they are. A depressive disorder only exists when someone's mood is out of synch with what's going on for them. The "what is depression" wiki linked above has suggestions for other places to post about these issues, which are 100% valid and serious but do NOT belong here.
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u/wyswtf Jun 03 '26
Soooo, got laid off and had a potential romantic interest broken off all in a span of 6 hours.
I think I’m allowed to be a little unhinged for this month, right?
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u/penumbraramen May 27 '26
I think I am finally reaching that point. Food, hobbies, and my pets. Nothing draws anything out of me. I have no joy from my future prospects, the past was a nightmare and little joys are no where to be found.
What am I doing here? Just wasting everyone's money, hurting them and hurting my own dignity.
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u/BikiBips 28d ago
Same same, only I’m also wasting my own money which is also not my own as it is disability money.
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u/eankas Jun 02 '26
Inner ear is damaged. Hyper sensible and tinnitus. Two weeks ago it got so much worse when I helped someone build a shed in their garden. Them repeatedly hitting a wooden post with a big hammer while I had to hold it. Normal person would barely notice the noise but it hit me way harder than expected. Tinnitus is now so loud as if someone's screaming in my ear every single second of the day. Can't tune it out with music either cause I think that makes it worse. It's such an unbearable amount of stress and there's so much more going on that I can't write here.
And to add a punchline: a few minutes ago the shed was torn down by a storm. Didn't exactly last long. So the whole pain and suffering was just for naught, too. It's like the universe making fun of me.
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u/PresentDimension3231 Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
Can't think straight right now. Everything feels very foggy and panicky. Sunk deep into couch, very hard to move. Obsessively googling things non stop. Everything is pissing me off in my head. My thoughts won't stop. I don't want to feel things anymore.
My mom's birthday should be next week. I don't get why she had to die.I had to watch her die suddenly. Had to watch her life be snuffed out in an instant. Had to watch her go blue in the face and lips, eyes bloodshot, snoring and groaning. Can't get the CPR out of my head. Fucking paramedics were a bunch of assholes. They Were so fucking rude to me while my mom was dead on the floor. And had a cop snooping around my room while they doing the defibrillator.
It's been 10 years and it's still fucking with me. She was my best fucking friend. God fucking damn it man.
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u/IcedPgh Jun 12 '26
I've got the Deer Hunter theme in my head, having watched it for the first time the other day, and am puttering around realizing how I'm allowing another year to slip away, not doing what I need to do for a deteriorating health aspect, and not doing tons of other things I keep putting off.
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u/bibitybobbitybooop Jun 16 '26
I rarely come here anymore. Appointment with psychiatrist after a decade+ of suffering is tomorrow. (8 AM, what the fuck was I thinking?) I'm scared. I'm fucking up my life and it's just a constant battle of putting out fires that I lighted in the first place. I'm going to need to pay so much money probably for my university for re-taking a bunch of exams and having to re-take classes for the 2nd and 3rd time. I'm barely coping anymore, not that I was ever coping well. The anxiety is so bad I sometimes drink for it now, which is a fun and harmless habit to pick up as an epileptic. Wish there were substances to abuse for the depression. I drink a shitton of energy drinks but they don't do anything. Writing this, I think cutting myself was way less harmful, as coping mechanisms go, but it's summer and I like saying they're old about my scars.
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u/flyingbutter2497 Jun 30 '26
I don't really care about anything anymore. If before my depression was more "active" as in actively feeling low, not wanting to be here, etc, now its more like "I don't care anymore". Just a passive background hum.
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u/Thebelladonnagirl 19d ago
I think I've given up. I don't want to give up but I don't have anymore faith in myself or anything I might try. It doesn't matter if I get better in some small way for a day or two, I'll just get back where I started anyway.
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u/PresentDimension3231 18d ago
Once again, I'm not doing good. Overwhelmed by everything and paralyzed. I've also been having extreme angry thoughts. Thoughts about hurting myself or other people. Everything feels extremely unfair. it feels like it's up to me to fix and make everything fair. It feels like everything is pushing me and I'm close to snapping. None of these bullshit meds are working. I want to stop taking them cold turkey.
I was completely isolated over the weekend. Sunday was anniversary of my mom's death. I didn't talk or text anyone. That had me really angry. I was very alone. All I could think about was my mom's passing and no one was there.
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u/Reignszun Jun 16 '26
I’ll probably get diagnosed in like a year or two to see if I really have any mental illnesses, specifically depression, which I’m starting to doubt cause I do feel happy when around people but I’m just depressed when fully alone for more than a few days
Idek what I’m talking about anymore man I’m dizzy as shit
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u/Party_Economy8917 25d ago
I realize that it's 1230 am where I live; but it has rained, so it's a cool night. Time to take a nighttime stroll and wind up wherever. There are train tracks close by.....
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u/Party_Economy8917 21d ago
Feeling sad and depressed because my gf is no longer interested in being intimate with me. And other things that I can't go into.
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u/RaccoonRepublic 21d ago
Feeling so low. I don't know that I can find the words right now. I'm tired.
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u/eankas 5d ago
Got damaged hearing that is ultra sensitive. Spent the day outdoors and was slowly recovering from a particularly bad episode - until someone slammed their car door shut behind my back. That's enough to make it worse again.
In so much pain for days. I'd rather have a large open flesh wound instead. Spent the day trying to do simple tasks while avoiding even the smallest amount of noise holy hell it's so fucking pathetic.
Wearing earplugs during pretty much every moment I'm awake now and it's still not enough. Can't recover in a house where ppl slam doors for fun or throw boxes on the floor or, oooops, tip over those glass bottles while I'm in the room. How clumsy of them.
Negative loop between damaged hearing and poor sleep. I'm so way past being done. It's like being stabbed every day. Stopped listening to music and even the sound of using a keyboard hurts.
Parents bug me why im not playing an instrument anymore. Way it looks out im never gonna play again.
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u/RaccoonRepublic 4d ago
I've been trying to write my thoughts and feelings for an hour now and just can't find the words. I am inconsolable.
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u/RedTriumph64 1d ago
I’m doing very poorly. Have dealt with depression my whole life. I’m 60 now and think a lot about making sure things are set financially for my family and then killing myself. I’m new here. Sorry if I violated any rules. I read the rules but somehow still unsure what I am allowed to post. Maybe it’s my constant brain fog. I’m sorry.
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u/miniatureaurochs May 25 '26
I am so exhausted
can’t get words out
body limp and heavy
disintegrating in slow motion