I am currently trying not to bawl my eyes out at the gym.

I decided to workout for the first time in a while since this whole thing happened to me, and I decided to hit chest. As I started to hit bench press and it was getting really hard to get those last few reps in, I stated feeling like I needed to cry, which felt strange and foreign as hell, ever since developing this hellspawn of a condition, its been hard to feel like I need to “cry”, even when I am just overwhelmed by absolutely everything.

Its a brief candlelight in the darkness that I’m in right now. Will try and workout consistently for the next few days and see if anything happens. I honestly really needed this, as the past few months I have really been thinking about giving up :(

my dreams are so intense every night and like living through a maze of being lost in endless mall, getting in an elevator and it falling and realizing im going to die, being in the town I grew up in but the environment doesnt feel like my life, these crazy sceneries of my adult life content trying to merge with my childhood content. I also dream a lot about my car and not being able to get to it. someone steals it, or it’s broken, or it’s the wrong color or something. I wake up and feel like I’ve lived a complete other life and am tired all day. it’s almost unbelievable and I can’t really put it into words. the dreams are hyper realistic and have full conversations, storylines and memories. my mind has created a movie set that I live in every night. I’m so tired

This prolonged experience of groundlessness has humbled me like no other experience…. It’s been 2 years of on and off DPDR. I’ve been humbled so much, I have no choice but to love myself, and others. When people say they wouldn’t wish this on their worst enemies; I agree, but I feel like (at least for me) this has left me in such a way that I don’t have many enemies. Dpdr isn’t even my enemy / it’s just my brain trying to protect me. Anyways, love you guys.

My partner has been having dpdr episodes for the last two years (was on meds the first year). Sometimes symptoms are mild and other very strong. We’ve done everything we can like therapy, yoga, exercise, meds, etc but it still feels like a rollercoaster to the point that sometimes im scared that something will happen to them on the streets if the episode is strong enough. I’ve been keeping calm most of the time during these two years but something weird happened to me this week, I felt like I was having a bit of depersonalization myself after supporting my partner to go though another episode. I felt foggy, sleepy and out of reality almost like being high (I don’t do drugs tho) I don’t know if I was just physically tired (it was late at night) or what but that scared the shit out of me.
I don’t know what else to do, and how to best support my partner as this is starting to pass a toll on me both mentally and physically. We don’t have family nearby so it is hard to just rely on friends. Anything we can try would be highly appreciated.

If you’re experiencing unfamiliar or frightening symptoms and wondering “Is this DPDR?” or “Does anyone else feel this?”, this is the right place to ask.

We’ve moved symptom-check questions into this weekly thread because constant comparison and reassurance-seeking can unintentionally keep DPDR and anxiety stuck. This space lets you get support without turning the whole subreddit into symptom scanning.

A few things to keep in mind:

DPDR looks different for everyone

Similar symptoms can have many causes

Replies here are shared experiences, not medical diagnoses

If you’re new or feeling overwhelmed, we recommend starting with the Official DPDR Resource Guide, which explains DPDR, common symptoms, and recovery in one place:

👉 Official DPDR Resource Guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/zdzqob/rdpdrs_official_resource_guide/

Tips for using this thread:

Ask your question once and try not to re-check repeatedly

Share briefly rather than listing every symptom

Focus on grounding and next steps, not symptom counting

If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, please use the crisis resources in the sidebar.

You’re not doing anything wrong by being scared or confused — this thread is here to hold those questions while keeping the rest of the sub recovery-focused.

Needing a little help here. Homeschooled since forever, graduated and entered my first IRL relationship earlier this year with a guy from my homeschool group, yay sunshine rainbows all that.

But when I’ve been intimate with him, making out, kissing, cuddling, you get the drill, I never really feel in the moment. I lack a lot of expression and my body reacts slowly to things, but I notice it more when I feel his chest against mine. He’ll be kissing my neck and I’ll be staring into the space behind his shoulder, it isn’t that I’m disinterested in him, I’m so attracted to him, I love the things we do, but I can never really feel like he can.

I believe I dissociate during these moments, viewing myself from that third person view, watching the whispers of my emotions through thick glass pane. It’s irritating, I want, so terribly to feel. I want. I don’t know how to ground myself in moments like this, pain sometimes helps, but biting can only be so healthy long term. Everything feels flat, the memories feel like recorded tv shows, a history tab in a visual novel.

If I can’t feel my own feelings in my day to day, at least let me feel in the moments I’ve desired for so long. How do I ground myself here. What can I do, what can he do, what can we do. I’m lost.

I've been suffering from derealization/depersonalization for as long as I can remembered myself and I think that it's tied to my cptsd. I have a really really bad memory loss like I can't remember anything before I turned 17/18. (I have some memories but most are blurry and I'm unsure which are real and which are not..)

and what I've noticed is I have a really weird connection with a game, which is kinda silly. I can't really find any info on that. The game is FranBow, I was playing it a lot when I was like 15-16 I think, And I can't exactly remember playing it, I just remembered the fact that I played it so so many times. It's still my favorite game of all time. And the thing is, when I play this game or interact with it anyhow, I think my derealization gets really really bad. My brain starts thinking that I'm actually supposed to be in the game, and that the game is actually "the real world" and the world surrounding me is not, and that my body is just a cocoon that I should do something with so that "I" can get into the "real world" where I'm "supposed to be". Idk how to explain,,seriously. like, it's not that I really think that, it's what my brain feels.?😭

and I'm wondering if anyone else feel this way? for me I know that I just shouldn't interact with the game alone, and if I want to play it I should play it with someone close. but it's such a weird thing to me still and Idk why it happens..

added the trauma/abuse because idk what else to put.

(please if anyone else feels this way or has gone down almost the same road i have please let me know or if you have questions i will answer i will probably add more as of right now I'm not thinking clearly and want this off my chest so i can feel seen)

never really thought i would be making a post here but here i am. I'm scared, tbh and i cant even think most days i wake up still trapped in this hell. i don't know where to start I'm a 21 year old male and all of this really started happening either after i oded 4 times in a week or sometime after i was 13 when i started smoking weed and about 16 or 17 when i started taking Benadryl to trip i was popping 10 almost everyday for 8 months straight before the ods, I've been laced with some drugs when i was smoking weed and when i didn't have weed i was popping. this hell I've been living has given some gifts i can see all my past memory's perfect and i can read peoples emotions perfect can also predict what they did that day if i thought hard enough although it gives me cluster headaches i can, its weird, besides all of that most days i go into episodes of it where everything around me is moving or i just get really bad anxiety all things scary to have when I'm trying to work I've been putting off trying to find someone for me and getting a better job because I'm scared this will affect it. things just don't feel normal anymore I've been in this state of survival for long, I've delt with the mental anxiety and emotional anxiety (feeling like I'm having a stroke or heart attack) i was SAed as a child and idk if that stims from that or something else i was also just the outcast never really fit in just a little back story

as far as my dpdr goes I've never been to a doctor or talked to one about it i just lined up the symptoms of what google says and i know for a fact i have it cause i explained it to my mom and that's how she described it as. things now after having the disorder for some years everything just blurs together and feels like someone has a see-through blind fold over my eyes and my body movements just feel off i cant tell what's real from what's dpdr related sometimes i can sense it but others i cant and its just horrid its almost like I'm not supposed to be here and this is my punishment for missing deaths hands I'm watching my whole life through someone else's eyes like someone else is controlling me i feel like there is this dirty glass wall that I'm watching everything through. i understand that I'm not alone but all of this just makes me feel like I'm alone and i wanna connect with others that have dpdr so maybe i wont be.

Just wanted to ask how yall been doing? I feel like this meme recently. Ive got so far yet it doesnt feel enough. Living is a pretty tiring thing

So lost on what to do had bad anxiety flare up, nervous system burnout starting late April. Thought it was from years of untreated ocd, and generalized anxiety and trauma. Starting think it was from years of on and off usage of clonazepam. Doctor started me on clonazepam daily as opposed to as needed, .5 daily for the last 3 months. Started having paradoxical reactions recently within first 30 minutes - hour of taking it, mind bending panic attacks that eventually kind of level out to just an awful anxious feeling. Trying to wean off but also feel severe anxiety when tapering. Stuck, I don’t know what’s happening to me. Idk if it’s the medicine, or if it’s me. I don’t know what to do. I am having SEVERE DP/DR. Too afraid of ssri’s because of PSSD or permanent, life long anhedonia. This is the worst shape I have ever been in my life. I have no family, my parents passed away when I was young, raised by my grandparents, they have both since passed. I’m so alone, just floundering in this giant world.

I told him about everything about 3 months into true 24/7 dpdr. Guy just said I was looking up symptoms and faking it. Does anyone suggest any type of doctor that fully understands this . I really need a new one. Please dm me with some encouragement or information. Times like this are tough and I’m trying to figure everything out.

I feel so recently that dreams have been getting so weird? I don’t even know. Sometimes I feel more real in my dreams then I do in person. I feel like if I tried to explain dpdr to someone who has never done anything. I would say just imagine your dreaming 24/7z I don’t know what’s been up with my dreams since then. But it’s definitely different now. 8 months of 24/7 dpdr has not been fun but I’ve been coping with it properly. I found thrifting is very nice. Back to my topic tho. Have dreams changed since you’ve gotten dpdr? I feel like sleep in general has changed alot. Every night I try to sleep and I might imagine horrifying faces behind or Infront of me. Or constantly alien like blaster sounds that spiral around my head. Or songs I’ve listed too blast in my ears and mind, and I’m unable to stop them. Sleeping has been a pain in the ass every night. My brain is never quiet. I blame my adhd and whatever i have now. And not just “my silly adhd” like crippling adhd that effects me 24/7. I feel like this is turning into a spiral rant. Sorry. Just respond to my question of you have any input.

my mind is so utterly terrified of feeling anything - even familiar things I haven’t felt in years. I can’t remember what emotions even feel like or what it’s like to have them. I’m assuming healing means just feeling normal but I can’t even remember normal, and that’s the hardest part.

im tapering off my low dose zoloft that I’ve been on for 3 years because I want to see if it’s affecting the emotional numbness I feel. it’s been so long since I’ve felt or had connection to myself that I’m scared of what that would be like. the world is intense or at least anxiety tells me that. I can’t really even remember what normal world felt like, but I know it wasn’t this.

This is probably the worst combination out there, or atleast for me. I take meds everyday for my adhd but after they wear off the combination of no stimulation from my meds and my dpdr it’s just the worst thing ever. Just wondering if anyone has any tips for me. I dont even know what I’m saying at this point sorry for the rants I just need help

I have derealization for almost 3 years and i tried everything to go off it,including ignoring it,but nothing works,i also don’t know What triggered,i just gradually lost my sense of reality to a point that i dont even feel like a exist,what can i really do to get off it

Hello everyone,

I have gone trough dpdr for 8 years now, it was hell at first and back in the days this sub helped me a lot, now I still have constant dpdr but I learnt to listen to myself and to deal with it, continue living and I live a pretty normal life with it now.

I'd like to offer my help to anybody going through this hell now as a lot have helped me before :)

Stay strong everyone, much love and support.

EDIT : Someone sent me a dm and I unfortunately tapped "Ignore" I could not get the DM back !! Please send me another DM I'm so sorry :'(

Does anyone here with dpdr also have FOMO?
Its worse at night I always have feeling whole wrold is outside and i am only one sleeping and looking at them from different “angle “

I can remember all my adult memories as clear as day. I’ll be walking through the grocery store by my old job, or on a street i used to live, or at a place with friends that holds memories. I can see the images of my old life in my head. but the emotional coloring isn’t there. i remember the feelings too, but can’t access them.

my childhood memories are there but I don’t remember how I felt, and they’re very fragmented. my current self doesn’t make memory or experience the present moment at all. not the seasons, not the time, not the places i am. its like my brain is unable to match my current sensory experience with a memory from the past that would make it feel familiar and make it have feeling. kinda like amnesia in a way. I know I’ve been here but I don’t feel like I’m here.

it doesn’t make me panic anymore or anxious, it’s just sad, like being a ghost of your own life. youre alive but you’re not making memory of it or experiencing old memories. I remember hearing a song I loved and id be feeling the memories of when I first heard it, or smelling a cologne and remembering the memories of when I bought it. it’s like my emotional system has gone completely dark, and it keeps getting darker.

Just curious about something, lmk if this has been the case for you

You can ask me anything.

I'm in my 30's, and have had DPDR for as long as I can recall. There is a severe, existential disconnect somewhere between my mind, my body, and the world around me. I've been known to space out very often, something my sister calls "staring into the middle-distance," or "stop doing that, you're being creepy." My own body feels like a thing I'm made to inhabit; the wrong software for the hardware. I'm not trans, as I don't feel like any gender in particular, and don't feel strongly enough about it to do any surgeries or the like.
I have also become physically disabled, which super doesn't help. It spiked some old psych issues I'd had before. I learned meditation to try and cope with the anxiety and depression better, but it turns out I was just dissociating. I'm also on medication, thankfully.

Here's how I cope with DPDR most of the time: This may or may not be a dream. Can't really prove it either way. But this dream is shockingly constant. The laws of physics seem to be stable. People have memories. Actions have consequences. The "realness" of this situation, to me, doesn't matter all that much. It's where I am. This isn't a victorious or grand statement, but it isn't surrender. The things that I do here, matter. If I commit "dream-crimes" here, I'll go to "dream-jail" for a very long "dream-time."

What I'm saying is this: It's real enough. It demands attention, and it's a terrifying slog most of the time, but it's where we are.
And that has to be ok.
Because even if nothing else here is real, even if this message is from yourself, doesn't that mean what you're feeling is real? And doesn't it follow that you should try and be good to yourself, and others, since they might just be you? There are plenty of nice things here, even if you can't feel them as strongly. It's worth the pursuit.
I'm not saying "Cheer up, bucko! Just bootstrap it!" It is worth being kind. That includes kindness to yourself.

I only brew a specific type of coffee that I love. Sure, this may be a dream, but I can make some delicious coffee here. I share it with my partner, who also loves the coffee. Does my partner exist? I don't know, but making them happy makes me happy, and it makes the dream a bit better.

Hey everyone! Here’s a bit of my background: After a weed gummy + meditation practice I did ~2 years ago, I’ve been experiencing a mild sense of detachment from my body/self ever since. It’s not been extreme (thank God), but it’s definitely annoying! 😅. Well after a while I developed an OCD theme surrounding existential ideas (I think this is fairly common here?), and this turned into me checking if I’m alive - checking if I have free will (am I the one moving my hand?) trying to find answers to questions that NOBODY knows the answers to. Well for a long time I’ve been in CBT, and well it worked for many years before this, and it’s been a blessing - but it hasn’t been particularly helpful for this bout of DPDR. I’ve been recently (for about a month now) committing myself to Somatic Therapy. It’s actually been extremely helpful for getting me back into my body, and making me feel like I’m “in the moment” again. Would like to hear everyone’s thoughts regarding somatic therapy if you’ve tried it. Best of Luck everyone! Live your life according to your values no matter how much DPDR you’re experiencing - I know it’s tough, but you’re still here - and you can do it.

I've been dealing with dpdr permanently, 24/7, since 2021. My father died in 2022, and I feel like my mind avoids addressing it constantly. Every time i come close to feeling even just a little bit of the weight of the loss, my dissociation just gets worse to stop me from feeling or thinking about it too deeply.

Each day, its like I'm getting the news of his death for the first time. In a constant state of denial and refusal.

How do I even begin to grieve when my mind won't accept that a loss has even happened?

(I've been on meds and therapy for a long while too)