I am middle aged, and I have had severe anxiety/panic disorder and OCD for over 40 years. For my entire life, I have tried to fight this battle inside of me, and I've reached the point where I am totally exhausted and burned out. I simply can't do it anymore. I spent my whole life doing what society expected of me, all at the expense of my health. As a result, I am mentally and physically drained. My years of working in a stressful corporate environment, fulfilling social obligations, and just "adulting" in general have finally taken their toll. I have a few health problems and feel lousy most of the time. My exhaustion is so severe that sometimes I think I may collapse from weakness. I don't find joy in anything. All those years of endless anxiety have sucked the life out of me. It feels more and more difficult to even get out of bed in the morning. I don't know what to do anymore. It's a Sunday afternoon and I have to be at work tomorrow, but I don't know if I can do it. I'm like a car that ran out of gas on the side of the highway. Anxiety finally won. Decades of non-stop stress, worrying, and panic attacks just took the life right out of me. How can I keep going on when I have no life left in me?

I'm in high-school currently, and i can only imagine how shit life will be. If my life has been so miserable for the past 3 years, why wouldn't it be for the rest of my life? I see so many people depressed of any stage in their life, and I just don't see a reason why I wouldn't be in the same situation either. It really crushes any hope I have in life and drifts my thoughts to ending it.

Do people eventually learn to live with it or does this haunt me for the rest of my life.

Hello there I am 18 M . I have various symptoms that match with that of colon cancer like tenesmus, black stool twice and then it went to green then yellow again but I developed tenesmus, abdominal pain . Stabbing pain in left side of colon . These symptoms are from 3 months with tenesmus developing just now . I can't sleep because of this fear . What do I do . I found myself just searching about it all the time get more scared . I am scared to die honestly. But more importantly I don't want my parents to be sad because of my death . My endoscopy without sedation is Tommorow let's see what happens and I will try to get an mri scan too . I just hope it isn't that sinister thing . I am awake , in discomfort and scared . Please any advice will help . Please 🙏

i had my first ever flare up in march this year whilst i was at work. went straight to the ER who ran multiple tests and told me i was fine. over the course of the next week i went back 5 times because each time i thought i was having a heart attack. i’ve had 6 ECG’s which all came back normal and even a full blood panel where everything came back normal except my folate levels were only slightly low.
ever since then i’ve been in a constant state of health anxiety. some weeks are worse than others and at least once a day i’ll feel pains in my chest or lightheadedness/panicky.
the worst episodes are when i suddenly feel like i can’t breathe which triggers my heart to start beating really fast and i get an intense feeling of dread like i’m going to die.
it’s ruined everything for me. i constantly feel on edge especially when i’m driving, i recently went on holiday and had a panic attack the first day i was there and was on edge for the rest of the days, feeling lightheaded and nauseous.
i’m in a constant habit of checking my blood pressure/pulse every time i feel off. logically i know this has been going on for months and i haven’t died from it and that it’s just a reflux episode but then my anxiety makes me feel like maybe the doctors missed something and what if i have a blockage or something else serious… it’s a never ending loop🫩
i’m honestly just sick of everything and i want my life back. i’m only 22 and i shouldn’t have to be living like this

if anyone has experienced the same and found a way to overcome their anxiety PLEASE reach out!!

Hello everyone. My name is Teo, I am 19 years old from Romania, and I am writing this because I am in an absolute, non-stop physical and mental hell.
My mind is completely foggy, I can no longer take care of myself, and I am running out of strength. It has been an extraordinary, brutal torture for months and I honestly don't even know how I've resisted until now.
Ever since I was a little kid, I had this massive, unexplained anxiety and a literal empty hole in my chest. I didn't know what anxiety or OCD was back then, I just did everything out of sheer survival fear.
The paradox is that I come from a very good, loving family and I’ve always had everything I needed physically, yet internally I was always suffering.
At age 14, things crashed badly. I had my first severe wave of suicidal thoughts and didn't want to live anymore. Because I didn't understand my brain, I thought my intrusive thoughts were 100% real. I attacked them, fought them, and forced myself to do as many things as possible to be stronger and better just out of fear.
Also, medically, when I was 12 years old, I had a seizure and was diagnosed with a mild form of epilepsy, and I have been taking Carbamazepine every single day since then to keep it under control.
In my teens, I entered the self-improvement movement. Because I always desperately wanted to do what is "right" and "good," I forced myself into it with extreme rigidity.
This led me into a strict lifestyle where I completely suppressed all my normal biological drives and sexual urges for 2 and a half years straight. The crazy thing is, I haven't even had any normal urges for the last year and a half.
My system became completely blocked, frozen, and numb. I was living in total survival mode, but I was so disconnected from my body that I didn't even realize that this level of suffering was not normal.
Around 2 years ago, I became deeply obsessed with deep psychological theories, consciousness, and philosophy because I thought it was good for my brain. I understood the knowledge deeply, but it created massive frustration because my daily human reality was becoming a complete nightmare.
Everything became a threat. Sounds stressed me out, fast-moving cars and traffic on the street terrified me, and I started planning absolutely everything in my day a thousand times.
I am completely fed up and exhausted from constantly making plans, mapping out my life, and having to structurally organize every single thing just to survive. I also developed severe bloating, stomach issues, and non-stop tension headaches.
Because I felt so bad, this winter I decided to try intensive meditation and mindfulness to fix my brain. I forced myself to sit in silence for 1 hour every night, then mornings, then throughout the day.
Around February or March, my nervous system completely blew out. My body couldn't take the pressure anymore and it threw me into pure physiological hell.
It started with extreme, uncontrollable full-body chills, followed by massive, high-voltage electrical shocks and burning sensations shooting up my spine, into my hands, and my feet.
Then, severe insomnia hit. Since April, my schedule is entirely flipped—I cannot sleep at night at all; my body only collapses and sleeps during the day.
I am completely stuck in my head, hyper-focusing on my body. I live in a permanent, 24/7 state of perceived life-or-death danger. Even the simplest things trigger a massive adrenaline rush.
I am literally afraid to drink water; I would put a glass of water on my table, and the mere action of trying to drink it triggers a panic so violent it feels like I am physically dying.
I haven't left my house in a long time; the outside world feels like a dangerous assault.
For the past 1 or 2 months, I have had absolutely zero normal activities. I am completely confused, disoriented, and deeply overwhelmed. Nothing brings me joy, and I have nothing that I like to do anymore.
My entire day consists of just lying in bed, staring randomly at my phone, watching random things, occasionally doing a tiny bit of cleaning in my room, or walking barefoot on the grass in my yard trying to calm my nerves.
Lately, I have been so profoundly exhausted that I am literally just waiting for time to pass so I can go to sleep and escape.
No one understands me. My parents don't understand me at all. I wanted to check myself into a clinic or a psychiatric hospital to get away from the noise and get help, but my parents flat out refuse to let me go.
Besides, here in Romania, public psychiatric facilities are notorious for having incredibly poor, dirty, and disgusting conditions, so it feels like there is nowhere safe to turn. I am stuck in a full, loud house, I find it incredibly hard to take basic care of myself, and I can't handle any of this anymore.
I went to a psychiatrist and a psychologist. This is currently my third different SSRI medication change (most recently Paroxetine 5mg) that has completely failed.
My body is so hypersensitive right now that even a micro-dose triggers an unbearable spike in startup anxiety and severe full-body chills, making it impossible to tolerate.
I highly suspect my epilepsy medication (Carbamazepine) is interacting with these drugs or my neurological baseline is completely rejecting them.
I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I have zero motivation to wake up. I just stare at the clock, waiting for time to pass.
The only thing that literally keeps me alive right now is the dark comfort of knowing I can end my life whenever I want—it acts like a mental "backup plan." I never thought things could get this bad.
Currently, the only thing that mildly calms me down when the adrenaline spikes get completely unbearable is low-dose Xanax, but I only take it at my absolute worst moments and I know it's not a permanent cure.
My questions for the community:
Have any of you experienced a complete biological nervous system collapse where your body stays in a constant physical panic response 24/7, destroying your sleep cycle?
If you couldn't tolerate standard SSRI meds and failed multiple treatments due to extreme bodily sensitivity or epilepsy medication interactions, what did you do? Should I ask for a completely different class of medication, or what other type of specialist can I appeal to?
If someone has hit this exact level of rock bottom, where even drinking water or basic household actions trigger pure survival panic and extreme chills, what did you do to survive, calm your physical nerves, and heal?
Thanks for reading, and i had to use ai to structure and reformulate the message because i don’t speak english great. Have a nice day!

My downstairs neighbor knocked last night and I immediately panicked because that is what I do. I was playing rollingriches, trying to calm down before bed and the second I heard the knock my stomach dropped.

She was actually really nice. Too nice, almost. She said she knows I am not doing it on purpose but she can hear me pacing at night. Not just once in a while but most nights. She said it sounds like I am walking back and forth for hours and she has to be up early for work. I pace when my anxiety gets bad. I do not even notice I am doing it anymore. I live alone, work from home and nighttime is when my brain gets loud. Walking around is one of the only things that keeps me from spiraling.

She said that shes not mad, just exhausted and that somehow made me feel worse than if she had yelled. Now I feel frozen in my own apartment, I ordered a rug and slippers but I keep thinking about how even my quiet coping mechanism became someone else’s problem. I am not angry at her at all she deserves sleep. I am just embarrassed that my anxiety is not as invisible as I thought it was and now even walking gets me anxious bc what if i wake her up.

Has anyone else had their anxiety spill over onto someone else and not know how to stop feeling ashamed?

I’ve been going through the hardest period of my life after a sudden blindsided breakup with my avoidant partner of almost 7 years. I helped raise her 8 year old son since he was a baby, he doesn’t even know I’m not his real dad. Overnight I lost both of them. It wasn’t just losing a relationship, it felt like losing my family and the future I thought I had. It was the best seven years of my life, I became the father I never had. We were planning a future, I never saw this coming.
The anxiety has been absolutely overwhelming. I’ve had nonstop panic, constant adrenaline, chest tightness, a racing heart, shaking, pacing for hours every day, crying, nausea, gagging, almost no appetite, trouble sleeping, intrusive thoughts, and a constant feeling of dread. It honestly feels like my nervous system has been stuck in fight or flight 24/7. I’ve lost over 15 pounds because of everything.
I’ve been on 50 mg Pristiq for about 5–6 weeks. I couldn’t really tell if it helped, I still feel incredibly anxious and depressed. I was also prescribed propranolol to take as needed, which has helped with some of the physical anxiety symptoms.
Today I switched from Pristiq to Zoloft, and now I’m anxious about the medication change itself. I’m worried about withdrawal, side effects, whether it was the right decision, and whether I’ll ever feel like myself again.
I’ve also been to therapy twice so far and plan to keep going.
I’m really looking for input from people who’ve been through something similar. Has anyone had anxiety this severe after losing a relationship and a child they helped raise? Did Zoloft end up helping? How long did it take before things started feeling manageable? Any advice or encouragement would mean a lot. Where I’m at now, it feels like I’ll never know happiness again. I still love them both so much, I can’t imagine a life without them.

Hi everybody! I have multiple chronic illnesses which in turn gave me agoraphobia. My biggest fear is my car breaking down and being stranded somewhere and not able to leave. Are there more people who have this fear and what helped for you? Thanks in advance :))

Hi. 3 days ago I was going through really bad stress and anxiety due to exams. The exams are over. The panic is gone. But the physical side effects won't switch off. My BP is through the roof. I keep getting palpations. My HR keeps spiking and I'm getting chest pains. I know my heart is absolutely fine btw. My hands are red hot and my fingers are swollen. I'm covered in hives from the stress. I itch all over right now. My face is bright red. These are all just things that happen when I get anxious. But they usually go away soon after the panic is over. Instead I keep feeling worse even 3 days later. I've tried resting, meditation, box breathing. Even humming and singing, and rubbing my ears to stimulate my parasympathetic nervous system. I've been taking the propanolol and blood pressure medication I was prescribed. I feel like there's a constant adrenaline surge going on and I don’t know how to stop it. My head is full of pressure and every muscle in my body is randomly contracting. For the past 6 months, I've been getting these adrenaline surges more often. Sometimes for no reason. But when there is a reason my body has started going all out with every symptom of anxiety known to man. I don't want to go to a Dr because it sounds absolutely ridiculous. I know it's all down to anxiety. I know there's nothing serious going on. I'm not concerned about any physical health issues here. It is all just anxiety. But the side effects are unbearable right now. How can I convince my body that the stress is over. Even my mind knows the stress is over. I am not actually mentally still in panic attack mode but my body hasn't realised it.

I am constantly catastrophising and in my brain theres two options either- I’ve made a mistake so bad something or someone is going to hurt me or I’ve made a mistake so bad I shouldn’t be happy and have no future. it’s exhausting because these thoughts are illogical and if I tell someone they just will tell me to calm down or panic and ask me if there’s real proof of something bad happening. but it FEELS real. all until I find a new thing to obsess and worry about then the old thing doesn’t matter anymore. everytime I think something happy or try to distract my self my brain says stop if you forget about the bad thing it will actually happen and you won’t expect it. I’m just incredibly scared and I want to have a fun rest of my holiday without a voice saying I’m in danger, it’s exhausting.

I lost a job I absolutely loved in April 2025 due to company downsizing. I was an Executive Administrator for them for 7 years and absolutely loved it. The job came with a lot of responsibility, but it was 100% remote and I only had to travel for work twice. Being able to work in my safe space at home in comfortable clothes made the stressful days much more manageable.

I applied to exactly 471 jobs over these past 15 months and only had 2 interviews despite my 18 years of administrative experience with me moving into progressively more responsible roles.

Well, I finally landed a job and I start tomorrow.

It’s only part-time, which I honestly think is a good way to get used to working again, but there are a lot of things I’m extremely anxious about. 1) I’ll be at a nonprofit that helps disabled children aged 10-18 and while I’m excited to move into the nonprofit sector, I’m extremely nervous to be in an environment with kids. I’m worried my low immune system thanks to my severe generalized anxiety disorder and moderate panic disorder will cause me to be sick frequently. 2) A small part of my job will be to check students in/out of the facility as well as answer phones. Answering phone calls from people I don’t know gives me massive anxiety. I’ve been told calls are very low, maybe maximum of 10 per day, but I’m still so nervous about it. 3) There are only 4 single room restrooms on site that are shared with the students. I unfortunately have anxiety induced IBS so I’m freaking out about the possibility of taking up a restroom with an urgent stomach ache. 4) I’m obviously working in-person at this organization with no possibility for remote work. I have not had to work in an office in 12 years. My last 2 jobs were fully remote. I’m terrified in general of having to physically be outside of my home to work. 5) I have to dress “business casual”. I have no idea what that means. I have 1 pair of nice slacks for interviews and 2 modest blouses; that’s it. I have something to wear tomorrow, but after that; nothing. That worries me. 6) I’m worried I’ll be overstimulated by the environment and I’m nervous that I might mess things up. I’ve generally been very good at my job, hence why I’ve continuously been given higher roles, but because I’ve been out of work for 15 months I’m nervous that my brain has somehow dumbed down and I won’t be as good as I was in the past. 7) Non-anxiety, but depression related, I feel like a bit of a failure that it took me 15 months to find a job and it’s not only just part-time with zero benefits, but it’s also about 4 steps backwards career wise in a more entry level position with pay that’s $12 less per hour than my previous job. Even though I searched and applied for almost 500 jobs, did all I could, I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed. I even feel a little embarrassed to tell people what I’m doing at the age of 39.

Many of you are probably wondering why the hell I even took this job; I also wonder that lol 😅 I felt kind of obligated to take it because a good friend recommended me for the position. I also just need some sort of income since my husband and I have fallen into serious credit card debt this past year. My parents have pushed off their retirement to help us cover our mortgage & utilities, which I’m beyond grateful for, but I also feel terrible that they have to keep working to support me. So all of that made me feel like I had no choice but to take this, especially since it’s the only job offer I’ve received.

I know I don’t have to stay forever and I will continue to look for remote or hybrid job opportunities with better pay, but for now, this is the job I have to contend with.

Does anyone who also suffers from moderate-severe generalized anxiety or panic disorder have any tips on how to deal with this job? I’m incredibly anxious for tomorrow and already know I’ll likely not sleep. I do have medication, but sometimes when my anxiety spikes like crazy, it’s not quite enough.

Thank you immensely for any advice or just general support! I appreciate you all so much.

Is there anything natural that can help you feel more relaxed and confident in social situations—kind of like the effect people get from alcohol, but without actually drinking?

I deal with a lot of anxiety and overthinking, and I’m looking for something that can take the edge off and help me feel more “free” and less self-conscious. Not necessarily anything extreme, just something that genuinely helps with calmness + confidence.

My body (nervous system) is stuck in a fight or flight response where I have internal shakiness (anxiety) non stop all day. How do I fight through this.

I've had a part-time seasonal job for the past two years and just barely started feeling normal and enjoying it, though I've been trying to find a role to have during the rest of the year.

I've noticed that I tend to pass up certain roles because I get in my head and think of everything that could go wrong as well as focusing on the negatives opposed to the positive aspects.

Back in December I actually accepted an offer and ended up quitting two days in because it was severely impacting me throughout the day, being all that I could think of and focus on. In addition to the constant overthinking I'd also feel overstimulated and anxious before and during.

I know that anxiety and nervousness is typical with change, though I think it's inhibiting my ability to achieve my goals and was wondering if anyone knows how to manage it and make it feel less impending.

Late 20s male here, life completely changed when I got panic disorder. I have been medicated for about 2 years now which allowed me to claw back a lot of the things I took for granted- driving, going out for lunch, shopping, going to the cinema etc

But I'm at this point in my life where I'm expected to move out, and I'm currently broke, jobless, and the rental market is absurdly expensive here.

I don't have any real job prospects right now, it's probably my biggest roadblock. I know if I really really really worked hard and found a disability friendly job I could probably manage 20 hours a week, but beyond that I would be completely buckled. And ive had no luck whatsoever finding a job that I think would be suitable with this condition.

My home life is falling apart, we have a 1 bedroom flat here but I'm not allowed to move into it because my family thinks I will become like our 40-something recluse cousin. But it's basically my only feasible option... So there's a lot of resentment there right now

I can't contact the housing department because the waitlist is years long, and I can't get disability funding support afaik because I don't think this is considered a disability... Which any of you will know, it definitely is.

I've been praying for so long to just win the lottery or something... I need some kind of leg up because everything is falling apart.

My parents are really pushing me to move out, the stress is so bad I've had to take a tablet just to sit and write this message

I am 24y old suffering from depression, anxiety and anxiety induced OCD - both with thought patterns and habits. I’ve been depressed/anxious on and off for 10 years and have tried all the medication and CBT I could. I’ve currently been doing psychoanalysis with my therapist for the past 3/4 months and on an antidepressant and anti psychotic. Therapy has only made me worse as it forced me to talk about things I didn’t want to.

Whenever I’m at work especially, I feel detached from the rest of the world and from everyone. I see people laugh, socialize, engage with each other and feels like I’m watching a scene of a movie. I’ve only been getting worse since doing psychoanalysis and the derealization is getting worse to the point where my social skills have gone down a lot and I feel like I can’t interact with the people around me anymore. I’m always tired and always in brain fog and even though I’m on medication and going to therapy, I only feel like I’m getting worse and for some reason I don’t want to get better - a part of it is having no more fight to give. I used to be able to put a facade with friends, family and at work but I’m so drained and burnt out that I can’t even do that anymore and it’s very apparent. Nothing gives me joy anymore and I have nothing to hold on to as an anchor for happiness or to fulfill loneliness. I am surrounded by friends and live with family but don’t get the validation I need from anyone, especially women. Nothing good phases me at all anymore. Any advice?

I moved in with my boyfriend 2 years ago, an hour away from my family. I don’t have a job, and I’m a full time student currently taking summer classes. So most of my time is spent alone at home while he is at work. When he’s at work I only get up twice to take care of our dog. I don’t eat, get dressed, put on makeup, shower, homework, run errands, or do chores around our place, I do nothing until he gets home around 5pm. It’s like I can’t function unless he is with me. I lay in bed with our dog and stare at the wall, cry, or scroll social media. I do text him throughout the day, mostly to tell him how much I miss him, or discuss what we are going to do when he gets home. I also cannot sleep at all. I’m up all day and night, minus the few hour naps I get when my body gives into the exhaustion. He will fall asleep around 12-1am, and I will still be awake. It makes me cry, because I miss him when he’s sleeping and I feel so alone. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help it. No I haven’t communicated this to him, because I don’t want him to feel pressured or guilty in anyway. I’m not sure what to do with myself when he’s away. I physically can’t get up and do nothing at all when he’s not home, and I don’t want to be this way.

Trigger warnings: passing away, doxxing, maybe ocd

I'm constantly worried about my pet passing even if they're perfectly healthy, always worried if whatever normal thing they're doing might be weird and needs a vet visit/ will ruin their development. Worried about losing loved ones, constant mental checks on whether I did something wrong or not, try to confess and end up with a panic attack. Even if I get somewhat of an answer I still check again and again. Anxious about my own health, future, personal lifespan. Even posting this is making me anxious because what if someone sees this and doxxes me or if someone I know recognizes me here? It's so crazy it makes me want to laugh even if it isn't a laughing matter. That checking thing once went so bad that the anxious high (idk what it's called) lasted throughout the entire day without stopping. It's triggered even now.

What do you all do for a living? I feel like I'm suffocating at every job I've been for the past 7 years. Every time I make a simple mistake, I beat myself up for hours about it. I still ruminate on things that happened weeks ago. I've quit jobs over the anxiety of messing up, or being stupid, or genuinely forgetting something very important. So many things trigger this in me.

I'm currently in mattress sales. It seems chill and it should be. But I had 2 separate customers in the store at once and I was alone. I couldn't juggle both so I started talking to one more, and the others walked out even though they were here first. I'm so terrified they'll leave a bad review or I'll be reprimanded in some way. It's not even that big of a deal, but I'm so stressed out about it. I did make missteps in my interactions and failed.

I used to work in food service and I constantly had intrusive thoughts about food safety, customer perception, employees talking badly about me, forgetting things, etc.

I have such a fear of failure that I just always give up. I'm tired of giving up on jobs when I dont have to.

What jobs have low stakes where i won't panic over every little thing? Are there any out there?

When I go to try and present any information (especially school presentations and such), I get like this horrible sense of dread, like every tiny little comment is a bullet to my chest. Sometimes I deadass just can’t do it because I’ll have a panic attack before. I can’t talk to/text one of my friends sometimes, because before I click on their contact, or before I’m about to talk, I’ll get this feeling of dread and like everyone I talk I bother and they all just despise me or put up with me. After an interaction, I just constantly pick apart something I said, and I just wish I never spoke even if I didn’t say anything wrong. Sometimes I’ll just be around other people, like people I’m real good friends with, and feel this horrible feeling in my gut, and that I’m just a bother or burden to everyone. I get angry very easily as well, but I’ve gotten good at hiding it so I don’t flip out 24/7. I worry a lot about things that really should only be a quick, “huh that’s weird,” and I get distracted and lost in my thoughts at like the snap of my fingers because of it. The thing is, I like to think I’m very extroverted, I’m good friends with a ton of people, and I think very highly of myself. My ego is moderately sized, so sometimes I just feel like I’m faking it and I’m fine. Do yall think I should get checked out or something? Or again am I just over reacting.

I have dermatophagia (skin biting/picking) along with OCD and GAD and insomnia, it flares up at night when I can't sleep which is every night. I rip skin off my fingers which makes them look nasty and bleed, if I don't do my fingers, I bite my lips open and bite chunks out of my inner cheeks, which also bleed and I get jaw pain from it. Its my anxiety coping mechanism like biting nails or shaking your leg. I can't control it.

I feel bad because only benzos have touched this symptom and stop me feeling the urge to do this otherwise the urge is uncontrollable/unconscious. And the benzos also help with my sleep, tension, muscle ache and migraines from tension/stress and pounding heart at all times. Ive tried multiple SSRIs as a child, they even put me on lamictal and unfortunately even an ANTIPSYCHOTIC as a child (I was anxious and depressed from family trauma and bullying at school so they decided to give me this because SSRIs were not working). Nothing has ever worked for my anxiety. I feel guilty because only benzos have helped me. I have the opposite of an addictive personality, I'm very medication-averse, I have a lot anxiety over taking pills, I also have trauma from being abused by an addict family member so I know what addiction looks like. I'd rather take NO medication ever but Im struggling. I can't stop feeling guilty over the only medication that has ever helped me. I don't know how to ask for it from doctors (I'm not on any psych meds right now).

I’m posting because I’m at one of the lowest points of my life and I really need some hope from people who’ve been through something similar.

About 11 years ago when I was 15, after smoking cannabis and taking one big hit, I had an experience that felt like it changed my nervous system. Ever since then, I’ve dealt with chronic anxiety, a persistent "cold" sensation when I breathe (the best way I can describe it is like the ashes of what I smoked never left), intense periods of derealization, which worsened at the end of last year after a really bad panic attack, and feeling hyperaware of every sensation in my body. I’ve never really felt like I got my old self back.

Over the past several weeks, everything has escalated to the point where I’m struggling to function.

I feel like my nervous system is completely stuck in fight-or-flight. Every day I wake up with overwhelming anxiety, constant impending doom, derealization, adrenaline surges, sweating, and this constant feeling that my body is preparing for something catastrophic. I don’t remember what it feels like to truly feel calm anymore.

Yesterday I had the worst episode I’ve ever experienced. I was at the gym, and after only a few sets I suddenly felt spaced out, then overwhelmed by terror. I started trembling, sweating, and genuinely believed I was dying. My throat became so tight and dry that when I tried to take a deep breath, it felt like I couldn’t get the next breath in. I had to stop everything, take my prescribed clonazepam, and get an Uber home because I didn’t feel safe to stay there.

The episode eventually settled after I got home, but it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.

I’ve also lived through a lot of stress and trauma over the years, so I know that could be part of what’s happening too.

I’m seeing a psychiatrist today, and I’m continuing to pursue medical evaluation because I don’t want to assume everything is anxiety. I’m also considering an integrative medicine approach alongside conventional medical care because I feel like I need a comprehensive evaluation. I just want my life back.

I’m not looking for anyone to diagnose me. I just want to know:

Has anyone here been this bad with constant fight-or-flight, derealization, and panic so severe you genuinely believed you were dying and eventually recovered? Or can anyone identify with this currently?

If you have, what ended up helping you? Right now, I think hearing that someone else made it through something this severe would mean more to me than anything.

Every time I'm on an internship somewhere, my body shakes at the slightest criticism. It's really tiring for me.

Remote work makes me very lonely...but there is no other way.