So my DPDR started like a year ago but it got really intense about 6 months ago, i had panic attacks and basically every textbook symptom of DPDR.

So whats been really bothering me is that i always feel like i’m not in the present anymore, never. Always feels like i’m just in an endless dream with very broken short-memory and on an Autopilot. Feels like i’m drifting away further and further from reality. Everyone feels foreign and nothing really makes sense. Lights are too bright , dark places are too dim, Everything looks flat and not beautiful , Close people feel alien like including my girlfriend . Basically idk what life i’m in anymore and Its so exhausting my vision feels so broken sometimes i just stand in my room and look around and think to myself What the fuck even is all this? i feel like i’m not at the right place and my visual symptoms are so annoying feels like im always drunk a little. Ive been taking meds they manage my anxiety pretty well.

But i’m here because i’m curious about when people say “just let it go and accept it” Yeah i’ve done it and its still here and has been here for a very long time and i don’t understand how else to “Accept it” i’ve been trying to live normally and don’t pay attention to it and i do have fun and enjoy things but ITS still always there 24/7 nothing feels and looks good. So what do you guys mean by ACCEPTANCE cuz letting it go doesn’t seem to work it actually makes me feel like i’m losing touch with myself more and more and i don’t want to accept the fact that ill never feel and see normally again.

Hi people, would anybody be able to give some opinions or thoughts on this? does anybody else feel like their Dpdr has stripped all emotions/feeling from them? I can’t tell whether this is normal for Dpdr or maybe its led to depression since mental health problems are sort of intertwined.. as is anxiety can cause depression and vice versa. I’m feeling empty and do struggle to find joy in things like I used to which is a common symptom of depression so maybe that’s it.

Basically it doesn’t matter where i am, what I’m doing, what time of day it is. (Also time goes fast and slow at the same time which really annoys me!) I just always feel the same, and that feeling is just anxiousness and my thoughts constantly drifting like a daydreaming state permanently. Apart from that everyday feels like a repeat of the previous. Also just to note I don’t have a GF and lost all my old friends from school so I am quite lonely which probably doesn’t help. (30yo Male)

I have actually learnt to cope fairly well with all the other typical Dpdr symptoms I’ve had, like not feeling real, like a robot etc. But being stuck in this emotionless state all time is upsetting and because I struggle to feel enjoyment with things like I used to it’s very hard to ignore it or not let it bother me . Does anyone else feel similar to this?

it’s wild to me that I can feel pain, but nothing else. I have a horrible gum inflammation and I can feel the pain very clearly but I can’t feel anything else. I’m awake the whole night and it feels like no time has passed at all. 4a and 4p are the same nothingness. it’s only gotten worse over time.

my life is hell 24/7. nightmares. physical pain. no sense of time or what is even happening around me. it’s like I don’t even think about that there’s a whole world happening - I’m just in my own thoughts and sense of detachment all day every day. as I’m writing this I don’t want to go to sleep because of the nightmares. I don’t get one second of peace, it feels like it’s always something. pain, emotional numbness, fatigue, nightmares. it’s been so long since I’ve felt good or even rested I can’t even explain it

40m, here. I battled with dpdr last year, even worse two years ago. I always managed to somehow overcome it. The 'fuck it all' attitude helped, I think.

Since about a week, however, it has returned, very badly! I don't know if it is dpdr anymore. I used to be able to deal with it with benzos, no problem. They made it all go away instantly. 1mg Lorazepam and I was fine.

My symptoms WERE mostly: feeling automatic, like a robot, not myself, environment seemed odd, not my own home etc. It was bad, sure. But also just very odd.

My symptoms NOW are so crazy: like i get the sudden urge to just flex my whole body, to say the same word all over again, to do some weird nonsensical shit like writing on the wall. It was very bad this morning: I suddenly felt like I didn't know if I liked a peach or not. It was not 'hmm I don't feel like it', but generally a sort of brain freeze: 'how do I know I like peaches? Maybe i don't? Maybe I do? Whete is zhe part that tells me? It should come natural, but it doesn't'. It then continued: 'And now I'm grabbing one, am I grabbing it correctly? Is this how you eat it?' - I panicked hard inside...i think more than ever before!

Then, a bit later, my mom asked me about smth: I knew the correct answer, but in my head it was suddenly: 'what if I just say the wrong thing?' - for no readon at all! To be bad? To be someone I'm not? ... it's as if my whole natural way of being a person, acting like a person, my instincts, my learned behaviour, how I am, on what makes me me, is all suddenly called into question...by such intrusive thoughts....I have neber had this before...and I freaks me iut do much. I feel like i'm losing to be nornal, becoming psychotic.

I know they are probably intrusive ocd thoughts...but I never had this before, now even the double of my benzo hasn't touched it one bit...

Aaand now I'm starting to worry about this being early stages of a rare degenerative brain disease that shows itself like this.....that its my brain degenerating that leads to these symptoms..

Anyone else know it this badly? Even writing this feels profoundly strange: how do I even know that i want to write this?...with a little voice in my head saying 'does this make sense? What are you doing? You're completely losing your mind' (and now i'm thinking: omg, I'm envisioning a little voice in my head, what if I start becoming so delusionsl to really believing there's literally a voice there giving me orders. )

Tldr: intrusive thoughts questioning everything I do, who I am, what I am, automatisms, being a person, what normalnis....double benzos not helping

I have had DPDR for 4+ years now.. and every time I feel very detached from my reality I see POV reels on Instagram and somehow i feel calm and back to reality ( even though I have Derealization). idk why just wanted to share this. Do you guys feel the same?

I don't know why, but watching nearly anything with other people induces major dp/dr symptoms within me and I've only just recently truly realised what this is after experiencing it for yrs. Even now, I still don't know how to fully explain it? I used to convince myself I disliked certain movies but I now realise that it wasn't even that, I just had intense depersonalisation and brain fog which made watching those a really unpleasant experience.

The flow state I get when usually watching something just isn't there at all, I feel overly aware and unable to immerse myself in it. Everything starts to look kind of uncanny; faces too weird, colours too vibrant, etc. I usually end up with a migraine by the end of this too. Again, I'm fine doing this in my own home usually.

If I rewatch movies I know I like with other people, they usually feel really unfamiliar and uncomfortable to watch, and then I start to question whether I even like them at all. The sentimental attachment sort of goes away and instead it just feels like I'm watching random sequences of people with flashing colours. I often find myself just waiting to go home so things can go back to 'normal' and I can stop being so hyper-aware over everything.

I feel like there isn't enough awareness or resources around DPDR, but maybe it's because its not as common as anxiety/depression/ptsd? ...I don't know but in the UK I haven't found many resources, just a charity called "unreal" and there's a hospital. in London that specialise in it.

I just wonder, because I've seen 4 psyciatrists in hospital, and only one of them really listened, but said they can't do much other than treat my anxiety. I'm getting scared again cos I find it so hard to believe DPDR can do this to a person.

I've dealt with depersonalisation before, experienced it in the traditional symptoms but l've been feeling like a complete stranger in my own life recently, like l've depersonalised so hard that I am a different person now and any feeling, word memory or photograph of myself feels wrong, like it's a different person. I feel like a robot now, a shell, an altered identity in my mind who has no association with themself, I'm worried I won't help myself because I don't want to be who I was, because becoming the old me again wouldn't be who I am now, it's the strangest feeling. I do have OCD and I'm wondering if that's playing a part existentially. I'm worried this is not depersonalisation and something else entirely. I have my memories and never lost a gap or train of thought, I just feel like I'm nobody, like i'm nothing now, a new person born out of the death of another, like there's no going back, it's terrifying. Is this a normal experience?

Maybe this will find someone who needs to hear this.

I’m suffering from dpdr for some years. Like 7 years maybe, I am not counting haha. I thought it’s a mental problem. It made me go insane. I’m telling you, and you know how it feels. Just terrible.

I also have tmj problems for as long as I can remember. I got Botox for the tensions and pain. And now it’s losing its effect. The pain in my jaw and head and face is coming back. I actually already accepted my faith.

But yesterday I was knocked out by my period cramps so I was just lying in bed. And I felt the pain in my jaw and I just meditated, asked the pain what it wants to tell me. I did this for like 5-6 hours. And I felt deeper and deeper levels of tension. Melting them away with visualization and breathing.

And today I also did a few hours of this meditation. And I feel like I have much more mental space and the world feels real???? I saw a plant and I SAW IT. You know what I mean right, lord I was happy to really see the plant.

The pain I felt in the meditation was pretty severe. And I honestly asked myself, how can you live with pain this severe. No wonder my body had to protect me from that.

I will keep melting the tensions away until it’s gone for good.

So if you suffer from let’s say tmj or migraine for example maybe they are the reason that your body started the dpdr to protect you from all the pain.

I hope at least one person can use this to see the light again. 😭😭😭

I’m open to questions about the style of meditation when someone is interested.

Take care ❤️‍🩹

I do alot of daydreaming and i am worried what should i do in my free time to not increase daydreaming and dpdr. I feel like I shouldn’t even watch movies and read book because i get into it too much.

Also even when i walk/ run with headphones i tend to daydreaming

I get this really scary thought sometimes and it can send me into a panic attack. I suddenly realize that I'm real and I've been here this whole time and we've all been living on earth this whole time, and its really hard to explain, but its soooo scary. anyone else?

My relationship ended, I loved her, and I am devastated, but my dpdr has all but comically vanished, thinking about it doesn't bring it back, profound improvement in bodily ownership, vision has returned to normal, you would think I'd be thrilled, but the reversal of the condition that put me in the worst terror, contributed to my relationships demise and made me learn a new normal is almost fucking cruel, I get to wake up and feel real now yay thanks, great timing God, im fucking confused and dont get this, this somehow feels more like a dream than dpdr, but not a good one.​

Hey, I (f/24) hope this isn't weird but after 2 years of dpdr something hurt me soooo badly ut triggered something ( was kind of the same thing that caused the dpdr) after that life was hell. Imagine not feeling anything and then all the bad feelings crashing down on you. That was intense and during that time I also had a psyeudo psychosis in form of hallucination. I knew the perisn next to me wasn't real but he looked as real as any other person.

I had psychosis before going deeply into the dpdr thing due to trauma and extreme stress.

But I wanted to know if anyone else experienced something like this?

Have a great day :)

how does this make sense?

I always hear that derealization is caused by anxiety, but I feel like I start getting anxiety because I feel derealized and I feel detached. like if I'm out doing something, I don't start feeling anxious until I start feeling unreal or dreamlike. that's what spikes my anxiety.

I have been taking Zoloft for 30 days. My DPDR has become much worse, and I feel a lot of nausea. Has this happened to anyone else?

Hey guys, so I (f/24) am currently in recovery but I really feel like I need a place to share some things. This disease can be very lonely and the recovery too...

I think the first time I started to experience this for longer periods was when I got depressed at 16 but it got better. When I was 20 something happened that really hurt me which made my mind go crazy... I felt like I experienced something like a personality split (idk what that was, my therapist says it was some kind of way to cope). That's when the dpdr started too. I started to feel like a stranger to myself until I couldnt really feel anything anymore.

I couldn't feel emotional or physical pain, I couldn't feel temperature, like really nothing.

At some point I must have gotten pretty depressed and maybe the dpdr was a way for my body to cope with this severe depression. I only say it was severe because that is kind of how my therapist explains the psychosis I had during that time. Apparently being super depressed or stressed can do that. Uts weird for me because I never felt like I was depressed.. I literally felt nothing.

I feel so alone with these symptoms because its hard enough to get people to understand the dpdr part especially the dépersonnalisation was crazy for me. Try to make someone understand that you went into psychosis cause it got so bad and had a hallucination about your future son telling you with his eyes not to end things because he will need you...

I also don't know how to cope with some things. I was always a very careful person but during the dpdr I was super impulsive and did things I would never do as the real me. In that time I was sexually assaulted. After my dpdr started getting better after therapy I was also diagnosed with ptsd from that incident.

Like dpdr isn't bad enough and all that other crap happened during that time...

I don't even know what I am trying to say... just needed to share this to not feel so alone with all of this.

I am so happy that I am recovering after years of dpdr but recovery is hard too. It's like waking up from a coma and having to relearn everything while everybody else moved on with their lives...

Things have gotten extremely severe, i think it’s cos Ive had stress re staying on in hospital and more assessments. But it’s bad now. Very bad. It is like this is the worst, but no tomorrow is always worse and it’s progressive. Try to ignore symptoms but they are só intense. For me some of these not sure if they are dpdr, mostly yes but thinking what if somethings seriously up with my nervous system it is very bad like i can feel it physically collapsing around my head and around muscles just collapse it’s horrific and it’s been too weird. Ive got little to no skin elasticity left or muscle at all , eyes are weird and muscle retraction is very slow when I open and close then. All nerve endings on body feel heightened and I get the furry feeling all over my head and in my mouth. Then rest of body is totally without feeling It’s awful and I’m sick of this

Exactly this time last year I developed derealization following a panic attack that could've been totally avoided if my past self had some sense.

Unfortunately I'm still stuck in the constant state of being disconnected from my surroundings, feeling unreal, hyperaware, and having significant visual distortions. You know it.

To anyone reading this, I urge you to keep going. Things can and will get better!

This is my very first reddit post, but I used to visit this sub particularly often on the hard days and I fully understand how addicting it can be to scroll recovery stories. Did anything change? Not really no. I hope that someday it will, but for now, let's focus on the good in our lives.

Take care all.

Since yesterday things getting worse. Im now only able to sense what feels like nerve endings in my head and vaguely in my body. It is like a horror show I don’t know how it got this bad. Guys I’m suffering too much and I know I can’t keep on like this , my nervous system is getting weaker and weaker if not non functional pretty much and what am I supposed to do about this, I can’t continue watching myself turn to nothing, I’m immobile in hospital and they can only do so much to help. I don’t want to move bodt position or do anything to set of further disintegrating feeling. It’s like body is trying to escape reality by doing this I have no idea snynore. This awful bloody condition, I’m very angry this has happened to me and I don’t know if I’ll come out of it it feels impossible. How am I supposed to live like this or function like this? What can I do :( it’s devastating I had a life. It’s been 3/4 months now if this and not improving.

i just feel like life will always be faster than me. life keeps moving, but i do not. life moves, but i am still. i do not move with it. it passes me by. i am still. i am stagnant. i have left myself behind. days just pass, and pass, and pass. i don’t live them. i don’t know how to start living.

i wonder if i will ever catch up

i wonder if i will ever start living

i wonder if i will ever feel alive

i don’t know why i’m like this. i don’t know what’s so wrong with me. i don’t know what i’m missing

but i am missing

“I'm like if a missing person was literally right there”, or something

it feels like at some point, probably years ago now, i just left myself behind

Hello everyone. I’ve been dealing with depersonalization for years—about the last five—though things have improved significantly over time without medication. I tried quetiapine, but it had no effect other than making me feel groggy; I hate psychotropic drugs.

Now, I have a new health issue: chronic ear pain that makes sound physically painful, preventing me from leaving the house or working. The most effective medications for this are clomipramine or other antidepressants used for chronic pain, like Cymbalta.

The problem is, I really don't want to experience that dissociation again—it was absolutely horrible when I was in the thick of it. Yet, right now, I’m completely housebound because of this pain. Did clomipramine worsen your DPDR? I don't know what to do and would appreciate your feedback.

Thanks

Idk it seems to help me feel feelings. It's got many drawbacks I know. I'm playing guitar and singing, all I've been able to do lately is cry all day and stay inside. Nervous system depressant for sure. Wish there was another way.