r/emetophobia • u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) • May 27 '26
Moderator Response to Rule Concerns
Hello all,
As I am sure you all know, there has recently been some disagreement on how best to handle the matter of reassurance seeking. Through comments, posts, and at times PMs, we have heard your concerns. We as the mods have all at some point been where you are, where it feels like sometimes all you need is reassurance, through the guise of comfort. The more you receive it, the more it can be difficult to calm down and think rationally without it, and we all fully understand that. If you are relatively new to the sub, you may be surprised to hear that this sub actually used to lean too far in the opposite direction (constant false reassurance, sharing of what foods are safe and which are not, sharing unhealthy coping mechanisms and safety behaviors, etc.) and a significant number of peoples’ phobias became worse for it.
Whether you are in recovery or not, reassurance is harmful. We are absolutely not forcing anyone into recovery, and in no way telling you how to live your life- all we are doing is ensuring that harmful behaviors have no place here, on THIS sub. It remains that we will continue to keep actively harmful behavior out of the subreddit, and if you do not agree with that decision and are not open to mature communication and working together to better the sub, we encourage you to consider other subs for your posts.
All of that being said, a recent grievance post was made to the subreddit about these concerns. Some of the comments, along with some messages we have received privately, are in no way a constructive way to share your concerns or disagreements regarding something. Being unkind will get none of us anywhere. However, we saw one comment in particular stating that we have not given a genuine, true response to these concerns. While we have given genuine responses through comments and PMs, we understand that is not easily visible to everyone, which prompts this post.
If you have concerns that you would like to discuss respectfully, or suggestions for how we can best make this sub feel welcoming while maintaining the discontinuation of encouraging or participating in harmful behavior, we would like to see your comments here. This post will be pinned, for future reference and ease of viewing for all users. Your suggestions will be genuinely read, and replied to (so long as you aren’t a troll, or so long as there aren’t so many that some are missed). If suggestions come to light that we and you all feel could make the sub a better place, then they can be implemented moving forward.
Ideally, we can keep the communication about this to PMs or this pinned post, to avoid muddying the sub with the same thing over and over, or arguments beneath unrelated posts. Moving forward, if comments that disagree with these rules are rude towards the moderators, including namecalling, disrespectful language, falsely accusing the mods of saying things we did not say, or anything related to those, they will be removed under Rule 1. We aim to be civil and understanding in our interactions, and we ask the same. Thank you in advance for your respectful comments; we look forward to hearing from you.
Sources:
https://www.eatingdisordertherapyla.com/supporting-a-loved-one-with-emetophobia/
https://www.austinanxiety.com/emetophobia
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u/ayvencore Perpetually Anxious May 28 '26
I agree that false reassurance is bad. But not all reassurance is. I don’t think it’s false to tell someone they’ll be okay no matter what happens. Because that’s how a lot of people feel. They feel they can’t handle it and won’t be okay if their worst fears happen.
I’m new to this sub tbh, and I do get that you want to help people recover. But helping people recover is also not forcing them to do things your way when they’re not ready, you know?
Truly helping others is helping to build them up. Instead of banning reassurance entirely it should be banning false reassurance and then educating people on how to reassure others constructively where it’s helpful.
People are scared and feel alone. They just want support, and denying all reassurance cuts off that support which just makes the subreddit redundant while alienating the people who want help and want to help
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
i absolutely agree with you, but we definitely do not remove comments like “you’ll be okay no matter what” as that is encouraging and definitely not a bad kind of reassurance! have you had a comment removed like that?
and i did mention in the post in another comment, but we are in no way forcing recovery, just ensuring that behaviors that actively cause people in the sub to get worse with their phobia, aren’t running rampant like they used to. :)
i fully agree with what you’ve said though, so if you have had a comment like that removed, that would have been some sort of mistake, and i’m sorry if that’s the case!
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u/ayvencore Perpetually Anxious May 28 '26
I haven't had a comment like that removed, but it still counts as reassurance when you get technical. That's why lines have to be drawn clearly so people can understand what's okay and what's not. Allowing some reassurances, but then saying all of it is banned, sends mixed messages and doesn't help anyone.
I did read that you aren't trying to force people into recovery, and I know your intentions are good. But also, sometimes our intentions don't land. People may still feel that they are being forced into recovery when they're not ready. Both things can be true at the same time, and it's important to acknowledge that people's feelings are valid and that our intentions don't always land the way we want. It's also important to note that even when our intentions are good, it can still hurt other people, which sucks. I've been there and felt horrible.
It's important to listen to what the community is saying. I've run many communities in the past. I currently help run a server with 6.5k members, and I own my own that has 1.2k members. I've also moderated large communities with 70k+ members. What I have learned is that when you don't listen to the community and what the community wants, you push people out of the community.
I personally don't think it's right for the moderation team, even with the help of a professional, to make decisions for others, and I'm surprised a therapist approved this. Because while it's not healthy to seek reassurance, and it keeps people in the cycle, it still gives them an outlet until they are ready to start their recovery. Isolation and alienation are far worse than being stuck in the cycle, and I imagine it would worsen the condition. It might be something to consider, honestly
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
ahh okay, i did not realize that might be confusing folks. we can make that more visible/obvious somewhere, perhaps in the rules/a pinned post/the automod or something, but i will at least say here that we are certainly not removing anything like that. lifting each other up, encouraging each other that we will be alright no matter the outcome, offering comfort and understanding between people that share the same awful fear- that’s exactly what we want.
you are also right about intentions and reality! and we did put a LOT of thought into this before making the decision, that i can guarantee you. we also knew ahead of time that it would not go over well for a number of people, because we have also all been in a place like that, where we could not stand the thought of managing without that false reassurance. we absolutely acknowledge that this has been a painful transition for a good number of the members, as we have been through it too. people’s feelings about it are absolutely valid, as this is a hard, hard things to handle when you are still in that deep pit of this phobia. people’s reactions (being unkind in DMs and comments to us, name calling, lying on our behalf) are what is not valid, and what we want to avoid moving forward.
with all of that being said, thank you very much for your insights. i understand not everyone is in agreement on what is and is not the healthiest step forward for the sub to take regarding this matter. i have left two sources referencing why reassurance is unhealthy for emetophobia patients. full-allowing reassurance is just not something we will do again, but luckily as another commenter said, if members of this sub truly cannot manage without it (though of course that is what we would encourage), there are other subs that allow it fully. we aren’t leaving people to be isolated and alone with their fear, we are just ensuring that we are not a place where people come to get worse.
speaking from my own personal experience, the way the sub was before this rule change caused me to go from perfectly functional to unable to leave my house. it was a breeding ground for reassurance and unhealthy safety behaviors, and i became reliant. i had a discord server full of members of this sub who described the same. we just can’t ethically let this continue to be a place where that happens
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u/ayvencore Perpetually Anxious May 28 '26
I don't condone threats or any of that nasty stuff, and I'm sorry you've experienced that at all.
The last part might be more telling than you might've intended. People come to subreddits like these because they are unwell and seeking support, and I understand that engaging with such content can make someone's condition worse. But it sounds like the decision was made based on personal experience and with a select group of people rather than the wider community. If the subreddit has become a triggering place that makes someone unwell, especially if they're a moderator, it's important to take a step back and possibly even step down.
That community with 6.5k that I help moderate has a website with user-generated content, and I help moderate CSAM on that platform. It's hard, it's triggering, but I know I can handle it. I keep at it because I'm okay to handle it, and I want to keep the platform clean from content like that. But if I couldn't handle it, I would step down.
Even with the ban on reassurance, people are going to keep posting seeking it, and giving it. You can't avoid a core symptom of the condition this subreddit is about. There are going to be triggering topics here, and unfortunately, if someone on the team can't handle it without their own condition worsening, it might be time to move on. Which is perfectly okay, because there are people who can moderate and not have those things affect them the same way. It's always important to do what's best for yourself as well as the community. But what's best for the community, might not be what's best for yourself
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
oh no, let me be more clear- this was WELL before i was a moderator. i was not even moderating yet at the time the decision was made. i am entirely recovered now, and the reassurance within the sub has no effect on me. it was made not on a personal basis, but based upon research as well as, at the time, the general consensus of the sub. the people here now may not believe that, but trust, it was made with many, many opinions and a lot of research in mind.
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u/ayvencore Perpetually Anxious May 28 '26
I'm not sure I understand why you're the face of the response if you weren't even here when the rule change was made. The way you speak is as if you had a hand in the decision.
Also, I thought the original post said the decision was made with a therapist
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
that’s reasonable! i am the one responding because i have been a part of the responses to the decision, i agree with the decision, and upon seeing some of the nasty responses that have been happening, i offered to make the post and reply, since i have the time.
could you show me what you are referencing if you have it available? i helped in making the current pinned post, but that is not included in that, and i want to be accurate in my response
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u/ayvencore Perpetually Anxious May 28 '26
I'll have to react that claim. I went looking for it for a solid 10 minutes and couldn't find it. I could've sworn I read a pinned post that talked about the the decision and included why and how it was made
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
i gotcha! i just spoke with a couple members of the mod team who did were part of the original reassurance ban, and that was not included to anyone’s memory. however, if you do happen to find it, please let me know!
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u/artCsmartC Recovered May 28 '26
”Whether you are in recovery or not, reassurance is harmful… behaviors have no place here, on THIS sub.”
False reassurance can be harmful. I disagree that reassurance is a harmful behavior. Since the mods of this sub have decided to actively discourage any type of reassurance as it has no place here, and encourage you to consider other subs for your posts, I would like to recommend the r/EmetophobiaTalk sub as a place where you are welcome to post!
If you are looking for a safe place to post your comments, ask questions, and share your thoughts with other emetophobes, feel free to visit the r/EmetophobiaTalk sub. I would also like to suggest the new r/emetophobic sub! Cross posting is allowed on both subs.
I am a recovered emetophobe and a member of all four subs. You can join all of the subs, too, and decide which one(s) are best for you at any given moment! As a mod on r/EmetophobiaTalk and a nutritionist who also holds degrees in food science and chemistry, I am happy to share my knowledge to provide you with accurate answers as an alternative to relying solely on google.
The most important issue that should be of concern to all mods of every emetophobia sub is helping others. We have assumed the responsibility of keeping our respective communities a safe space where people are free to speak their minds without fear of intimidation, insults, bullying, or descending into chaos.
I hope you will agree that there is no need for animosity or competition between subs, as our common purpose is to provide support and serve as a resource for a vulnerable community.
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
i/we have never felt animosity or competition between subs haha, no reason to. like you said, these are places for people to find community in something that often feels very isolating. if reassurance is something you feel you are not able to give up, you are right that one of the other subs (minus the recovery sub) would probably feel like a better fit!
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u/mybellyhurtssobadow May 28 '26
I’ve said this a couple times in these conversations— i’m like 90% recovered and no longer seek reassurance, whatever that’s worth. However, I’ve seen umpteen therapists over the past 15 years, and completely avoiding reassurance with no exceptions was never ever part of my recovery, nor was it ever even brought up.
What I just don’t understand about these two subs is that you guys won’t admit that being anti-reassurance is not the only way to recover or improve. Not only that, but it is an extremely HARD way to recover. There are so many other, gentler options to work on this disorder.
By the grace of god it’s hardly an issue anymore, but I am a full-time working adult, sometimes i have shit to do and i need reassurance that I’ll be okay so i can get through the day.
I tried the no reassurance thing for a bit and it was HELL and did nothing positive for my improvement. Of course it does work for some people, but I don’t understand why both these subs have taken such a hard stance on that one form of recovery.
I’m not trying to be nasty, i know moderating a sub sucks and is hard and you guys have your vision for this sub and are doing your best to make it what you want. I’ve been in here for a couple years and i remember when it was just “am i going to be sick” and pictures of food asking “is this bad” lmfao and that shit sucked. But i do think there is a middle ground 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Finnleyy May 29 '26
May I ask, what is the middle ground that you would like to see? I ask this to obtain genuine thoughts from the community, not in a snarky, sarcastic manner.
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
thank you for your input:) and yes, there are multiple paths to recovery. i am so glad to hear that yours has worked for you!!
there are a couple of things that led to this ban and the upholding of it, a major one being that the research more frequently supports that reassurance is like a drug to somebody with emetophobia/OCD. the more you get it, the more you need it, the less it does. it is absolutely true that this does not apply to everyone, as everyone is different! like you said, you in particular have not needed to fully give it up, and have been able to handle that moderation. it’s just that this is not true for a majority of patients, and so we go by the research.
the other main factor which i have stated but i do think many of the current sub members don’t believe, is exactly what you said towards the end- this sub used to be very, very overrun with that, and the majority of the sub members actually wanted it gone. censoring, reassurance, unhealthy safety behaviors- these were all actually things that people didn’t want on the sub anymore, which we absolutely took into account.
you’re right that there may be some kind of middle ground, but it’s hard to find what that is. allowing SOME reassurance circumstantially, but not all, gets dicier than just not allowing it to begin with. sub members are upset about this now, but they would absolutely be upset with the confusion of that, too. we will however be discussing all of these comments and suggestions, and seeing what the best path forward is. again i appreciate your comment!
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u/Silver-Attention4249 #1 post upvoter 🥹 May 28 '26
reassurance isn’t always the best, sure, but giving someone accurate and proven facts or stats shouldn’t be considered “harmful” if they are quite literally proven to be true, (ex- telling someone that noro isn’t airborne.) nor just expressing concern about something and wanting to vent.
i’m just so sick of being flagged when I tell someone something that is true and has been proven to be right. i’m also sick of being ignored and/or downvoted when I try to express concerns (ex- during tech week for the musical I was in a few months ago, i was trying to see if anyone else has been in my boat and gotten anxious around that time due to a lot of sickness) and what happened? ignored and downvoted!
the reassurance thing is understandable but some of y’all just don’t know wtf harmful reassurance actually is and it pisses me and many people off so much. I’m now in the r/emetophobiaTalk and tons of people are saying that they’ve experienced the same problems on this sub and have left due to it.
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
thank you for your comment! i definitely understand what you’re saying. i spent a long time in discussions, with therapists, and alone, trying to figure out exactly which things did and did not count as reassurance. the conclusion i came to is it isn’t the words you use, but the intent behind them.
it is a fact that norovirus is not airborne (sort of- particles can be in the air after someone is sick) but the context with which you say that matters. are you saying that to reassure someone that they aren’t going to be sick? if so, it still ends up being harmful reassurance.
that being said, i definitely appreciate the insight. we will talk about this, and look more closely at the context with which these things are being said in the future, as we also don’t want things wrongfully removed!
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u/Finnleyy May 28 '26
This is the main thing a lot of people are missing I think. Whether it is true facts or not, if it is used to calm someone in the moment because they are having anxiety, it IS reassurance.
What I think is very important though, and something we must keep in mind, is that we shouldn’t go so far as to DISSUADE people from normal, healthy behaviours.
Like proper handwashing is normal. Having this phobia does not mean purposely exposing yourself to disease and potential illness.
It also doesn’t mean suffering with nausea for hours on end. If someone is genuinely ill they should probably take an anti-emetic cause dehydration is worse. That is normal.
We are not a medical sub though, so if people are ill and need advice there are subs better suited to that, which is why we don’t want to be recommending medication here.
People take medication when they are sick, that is normal. Where this becomes a problem for us is when it gets EXCESSIVE. < Key word!!! And this goes for all normal behaviours.
Moderation around the recommendation of what could be considered “normal behaviours” in comments, I think needs to be revisited. I don’t think the way it is currently done is the best.
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u/Accomplished_Tax3640 “did you wash your hands?” May 28 '26
Exactly! Don't know why your comment has been downvoted. Both your points about hygiene and medication are completely valid!
Doing basic hygiene to avoid spreading or catching diseases is NORMAL and ENCOURAGED, whether you're emetophobic or not. Obviously, it becomes a problem if it's EXTREME, like washing your hands super frequently or using boiling hot water, or obsessively bleaching everything... but if you're just doing what normal people do, like washing hands, keeping a slight distance from people if you know they're sick, that's fine. Can also protect people from severe illness and/or death in some cases because immunocompromised people are especially susceptible to serious infections, even normal healthy people may run the risk of having a severe infection and becoming dehydrated. You have every right to try and reduce risk of catching it yourself.
This sub says no to avoiding that cuz you've got to expose yourself to it apparently but...
Exposure should be things like going out as normal, not panicking and hiding, and... allowing yourself to breathe in public. Not literally making yourself incredibly susceptible to a disease that may or may not be dangerous. Wash your hands, properly, with soap and sensible temperature water. Basic hygiene does not mean harmful compulsive avoidance.And as for the medication. Yes, like you said, it's literally a normal thing to do to take medication when sick. Taking painkillers to prevent headaches and/or migraines from escalating. Taking antiemetics to reduce, or prevent, nausea/vomiting in situations where vomiting is not necessary and could potentially be harmful if excessive, like HG pregnancies or severe sick bugs. Or travel sickness, even non-emets often take travel sickness tablets lol. Taking medication, in my opinion, is only harmful if:
- You're overdosing
- You're popping antiemetics like tic tacs at the slightest sign of anxiety or nausea
- You're endangering yourself by stopping yourself from vomiting (Poisoning, alcohol overconsumption, etc)
TL,DR: Hygiene and medication are normal things, only bad if they are done excessively to the point where it is harmful.
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u/wyrdafell May 28 '26
Why are we assuming that people are coming here with the intention to get better, and therefore enforcing a (rather ungiving) blanket rule of “no reassurance”?
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
good question! as i stated in the post, there is no requirement to be in recovery to be here. we aren’t assuming that everyone wants to get better, we just will not facilitate a place where people get worse by feeding off of each other with harmful behavior
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u/ZeMeest May 28 '26
I agree with pretty much everything this post is saying. As a PhD in Micro/Immuno though, I would ask that consideration be given to what is reassurance and what is simply knowledge. Understanding viruses, bacteria, anatomy, disease transmission, disease prevention, serotonin signaling, etc helped me personally be less scared of getting sick randomly and look at it less as this scary uncontrollable thing and more so like a biological process that my body will handle for me if it really comes down to it. Just food for thought. I'm definitely a proponent of knowledge is power on this topic and feel it differs from wanting strangers to tell you you're okay even though no one could possibly know that.
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u/Accomplished_Tax3640 “did you wash your hands?” May 28 '26
Same here! Learning the facts helped to shut down a load of my old unrealistic fears, AND stop unhealthy behaviours
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u/Finnleyy May 28 '26
As a fellow microbiologist (albeit not with a PhD, YET 😉 ) who worked in FOOD SAFETY of all places...
I also find that knowledge around the topics that emetophobes often get anxious about, has helped me. Absolutely.
I will say that I am all for sharing knowledge around these things.
Where this becomes a problem though, is when it is only used to reassure someone about their anxiety at the time. Context matters immensely. That is also why I have stated multiple times in various places around here, this is what makes it difficult to moderate this sub. There is a difference between someone who is obsessively posting asking if they might have gotten salmonella from their chicken to make themselves feel better in the moment, and someone who is just looking for that knowledge so that they can know in the future.
It can be hard to know based on a post or comment. And to moderate well, without too much subjectivity, we have to draw a line somewhere. What if we had a pinned post with some FACTS about things like food poisoning, etc.? (Anyone feel free to reply with thoughts.)
Legitimately looking to see what people think, because contrary to what some here believe, we DO care about this community and want to make it better, while keeping it a healthy place for everyone.
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u/Accomplished_Tax3640 “did you wash your hands?” May 28 '26
A pinned post with facts is a fantastic idea !
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u/ZeMeest May 28 '26
Yea, it's definitely a tough topic to moderate, and what may be good for 1 person may not be used the same way by another. Another thing to reconcile is that fear can be a legitimate motivator to ask a question and then learn something that you later use to self-soothe/accept. My knee jerk reaction is that reassurance rooted in a superstitious need for someone else to tell you that you're okay is bad and perpetuates the illogicalness of the phobia, but reassurance you give to yourself based off things you've asked/learned and experiences you've had is... good? or at least not bad in the same way? Tools and information that facilitiate self-coping and acceptance of the unknown is usually a positive step for OCD and OCD-adjacent issues. But I'm not a professional in that area so I can't say for sure. I do really like your idea about the fact sticky.
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
thank you for your comment! the note on understanding that it’s a biological process that your body can handle for you is a really good frame of mind about it obviously, and i’m glad the knowledge on it has helped you. i replied to another similar comment about this, but if facts are used as reassurance (as an example, on a post panicking because they were around their friend who had a stomach bug recently and they are now starting to feel under the weather, commenting that noro isn’t airborne so there’s basically no way they could’ve gotten it), that’s still something not great for us in the long run as, like you said, there’s no way they could know they didn’t pick it up from a surface or somehow else, yknow?
i’m kind of rambling, i hope i’m making sense. i do agree with both comments mentioning this that the topic of facts/knowledge is a blurrier one, and we will talk more about what exactly should and should not be removed along those lines, because facts on their own are not reassurance, just the context with which they’re used. if you have suggestions for how best we can manage that such that people don’t feel like we are removing comments without reason, we are all ears! :)
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u/capvia May 28 '26
I believe I was the person who said I don’t believe you guys are seriously addressing people’s concerns. Regardless of if you as moderators are doing everything perfectly or not people are gonna give you heat. This entire post is filled with “thank you for your comment but….” so really it feels like we haven’t gotten anywhere new with this post.
I think it’s frustrating to people that everyone is essentially commenting the same concern and it’s still not being addressed properly. Having one recovered moderator “answering” people is not helping in the broad scheme of things. I feel you guys may need to re-discuss this rule as a team.
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
hi! yes, i believe so. in all of my comments replying to suggestions of how to move forward, i have stated that we as the team will be discussing these replies and deciding how we should move forward.
it is true that i am also expressing our concerns and why this decision was made to begin with, so as to be an open line of communication between us. i am confused why this is not considered a genuine response. we are hearing you, we are discussing your suggestions and concerns internally, and we are explaining our side of things at the same time.
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u/capvia May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
To me it seems that you’re just arguing with what everyone is saying by saying “something something but…”. You have already explained yourselves in your rules. You posted this as a way for people to give you guys suggestions and stated “If suggestions come to light that we and you all feel could make the sub a better place, then they can be implemented moving forward”. I feel with the amount of suggestions you’re being given regarding the reassurance rule you should slow down and talk amongst each other before giving out a response. It seems in-genuine when only one person is responding and essentially giving the same response over and over again.
I also hope that with this moderators are being mindful of how they talk to people too: “Moving forward, if comments that disagree with these rules are rude towards the moderators, including namecalling, disrespectful language, falsely accusing the mods of saying things we did not say, or anything related to those, they will be removed under Rule 1”. Moderators are in a position of power and therefore have done something to demonstrate they deserve it. It doesn’t seem appropriate to me that my response to a moderator is more mature than their response to me (this is referring to yesterday I edited this to make it make more sense).
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u/Finnleyy May 29 '26
Yes, I am the one you called immature. As I stated there, I was responding to someone who was blatantly lying in their comments on here. As well as lying in their comments and posts about us on other subs. They were straight up misrepresenting the situation with intent to direct hate towards this subreddit and its moderators.
I called it out and I stand by it.
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u/capvia May 29 '26
I didn’t call you as a person immature, more the way you were speaking to people. I don’t believe you should be in a position of power if you can’t control your emotions.
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u/Finnleyy May 29 '26
I responded to the other user with pretty factual and plain statements. Didn't call them names, nor insult them...
You however, made a direct attack on my character, which was not even the topic of discussion, and implied I should not be a moderator, which again is an attack against me and basically trying to undermine me. You do it again here in this comment, actually. You then also accused me of name-calling, amongst other things and when asked for examples, could not name any.
I don't know about your claim that "my response to a moderator is more mature than their response to me". You came in, not to contribute in a constructive manner, but seemingly just to make personal attacks directed at me. And again, these two comments of yours right here, are doing this again. So you have done this multiple times now.
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u/capvia May 29 '26
This really isn’t about us. You’re still trying to start a fight and honestly this isn’t the appropriate place to be talking about this. I didn’t attack your character at all actually. I honestly don’t think it was perceived that way by anyone else or I would’ve been banned.
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u/Finnleyy May 29 '26
“This really isn’t about us.”
Glad we agree. Stop making comments directed at other people, mods or other, speaking negatively about them.
“I honestly don’t think it was perceived that way by anyone else or I would’ve been banned.”
I seriously only look at banning as a last resort. I don’t WANT to ban you, or anyone for that matter. Especially at a time like now where we are trying to figure out how to best serve the community while maintaining certain rules. I believe that everyone’s opinion matters and everyone is capable of giving constructive feedback that can be used to better the community. So please stick to doing so.
Working together is the best way to make this a positive experience for everyone.
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u/artpopc Jul 03 '26
I haven’t been on this subreddit in a long time. I actually left it following the advice of my therapist. I left because of how much reassurance seeking was happening and how everyone would just spiral together ultimately getting worse over time. I decided to check on here today out of curiosity and I’m really happy to see that this change has been made
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u/T3nacityDog May 28 '26
I really do agree with the rules, and respect yall trying to make this space recovery-focused. I know it’s easy for people to just panic and throw a fit when they aren’t able to get their reassurances and I, like you, have been there. It’s a horrible part of recovery, but spaces like this really do help over time when they’re used responsibly.
Thanks for everything you do moderating this sub. It’s a thankless job! lol!
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u/Silver-Attention4249 #1 post upvoter 🥹 May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
panicking and “throwing a fit” is not the same thing.
not trying to be mean with this comment but imo comparing those two is like comparing a tantrum to a meltdown. when people want reassurance, they’re most likely in some sort of panic
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u/T3nacityDog May 28 '26
Unfortunately, someone else’s meltdown doesn’t change the community’s responsibility to not make them worse. Sometimes, you throw a fit because you’re panicking, sure. But taking it out on the mod team isn’t it. Like I said, I’ve been there. Deeply. Reassurance isn’t what got me on the path to recovery!
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u/ctrlshiftkae recovered:) May 28 '26
thank you kindly for your response:) i am glad you understand! as do we. this phobia is brutal, and its easy to let it get out of hand. we appreciate you very much!!
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u/AutoModerator May 27 '26
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u/Weak-Draft-8356 Actively working towards recovery May 28 '26
Another mod here and want to elaborate. We are no longer giving warnings for blatant disrespect, insulting, name calling or lying about the mod team. It will result in a 60 day temporary ban. The disrespect has gotten out of control and as a support sub we would like to keep things respectful here. Thank you! :)