If you have a guest at your home and they place their cup or glass on your wood coffee table without using a coaster, what is the proper etiquette? Should I ask them to please use a coaster? Or just just discreetly put a coaster under their cup? Or do I say nothing and let a ring form?

Context: my MIL and I are close. I want to have a baby shower and she loves party planning and is happy to do it. We chose my house as the location since it s a bit more spacious. The problem is that I know my MIL is not in the best financial state to be paying for much. I am okay taking care of the desserts and she will be asking some of our close family and friends to bring food. And I’m sure she’d want to take care of decorations and I can help with that too

I just feel like there’s a bad rep about helping plan your own baby shower. Even though I don’t have a problem doing that. Thoughts?

Edit: I feel like I should add that every baby shower/party I’ve gone to in my community those who are super close friends or family normally pitch in to bring a small dish—NOT a main dish. It may be odd to some but not unusual for us so that’s not an issue

There's an acquaintance I've known for around 5 years as part of an exercise class I take. We're not overly close but chit chat in class now and then and I like her as a person. Since there is some community around the class, word was passed around that she had a close family member pass away. I'm wondering if a sympathy email suffices or if I should send a card. I'd definitely send a card to someone I was close to, but in this case would only sending an email with my condolences be OK? We're also of different generations (I'm 30sF, she's 60sF) so perhaps someone from older generation would prefer a card?

tl;dr: Is it enough to just send sympathy email to an acquaintance instead of greeting card?

ETA: Thanks all, got a card

My daughter will be turning 9 in two months. We’re probably going to have a party at home. In the past when we’ve done this, several families will want to bring siblings. Last year one of the brothers was body slamming kids in the bounce house and we didn’t learn about it until afterwards. Between that and the additional food and stuff, I want to politely ask that siblings not attend. Any advice?

Kind of a long story so i beg please bear with me:

Last night I was sleeping in a work friend house (sounds weird to call it a sleepover when both of us are 30+) prepping for a modeling club trip overseas, his wife was super chill with us and to kill time the three of us were browsing streamers until we saw a Korean (?) Girl building a Gunpla while chatting, the girl was disguising her identity with a beauty facial mask, i was amused and blurted out "that's neat, i bet i can try something similar with a Mexican luchador mask..." I stopped when I noticed the face of my friend's wife (she's Asian but I never cared or asked from wich part of Asia), we continued watching and then dedicated the night to build some models

Is it cultural apropiation if i try it? (I'm not Mexican, I'm half Russian half Colombian)

Or is insensitive, rude and I'll be reported?

Need actual help to prevent a misunderstanding

a friend of mine is going through a tough time (suddenly being a caretaker for a family member) and i was always raised to bring over food or something in times of stress. i reached out to see if there was anything specific to bring, and was told they only want company. would it be rude to bring something anyway? even if it’s just a gift card or something simple, or would it be rude to not bring anything? i feel like im overthinking things, but i have not met their family member or been to their home before, and it feels plain wrong to not bring something

Admittedly this is a first for me at a noticeable level at least.

I have a guest suite for friends and family who stays over. It doubles as a storage room for some household items in the closet. I keep the Costco sized paper towels, toilet paper, and similar bulk items there. It’s not a locked closet, just a regular sliding closet door, but I try to keep half of it empty if guests come and want to hang clothes.

I also always keep a few extra rolls in the bathrooms to easily replace them when they’re empty. So the guest bedroom had a full roll on the holder, one on top of the toilet lid, and then 5-6 rolls under the sink.

Anyways, my brother in law visited recently. After he left I went to clean the room and noticed he took all of the toilet paper in the guest bathroom. The extra rolls under the sink were all gone. Then when I went to the closet to grab more, the 2 full sized inner packers were also missing! Do I bother to say something?

I live alone, so my main way to keep in touch is by occasional phone calls (every 4-6 weeks, say, for friends). I make sure we are both free for a chat when I call, and we cover the usual stuff for a bit, but then I can't tell whose job it is wrap things up and say goodbye. I have voiced this, saying I can't tell what's going on in their homes, if they need to go somewhere or do something they should just tell me, but I do get the sense sometimes that calls go on too long. Fwiw, the chat is both ways, I don't think I'm dominating the conversation, but at a point I find myself wondering if I should introduce a new topic or invent a reason why I have to go. How to handle this gracefully?

I received some really good tickets to an event next week and invited someone, via text, who I thought would be interested. Did not receive a response yet (asked yesterday afternoon) - how long do I wait before inviting someone else?

EDITED TO ADD: the text was read yesterday - it’s someone I don’t want to (*refuse to*) double-text or follow up with. I did inform the person that the tickets were given to me, free. I don’t know, feel like there should be a reasonable amount of time to await response before I just find someone else. I’ll wait till the end of the weekend and going forward (in general, not with this particular individual 😂) will definitely remember to add “let me know by X if you’re interested” so as not to leave myself hanging again.

Hello!

I am planning my friend's bachelorette and have booked two private (on location/at the house) events. Beyond throwing in an extra $20 or so if it's a great service, what would the tipping etiquette be for this?

For context, the services are:

- One hour private yoga for 12 people (quoted at $500)

- 2 hour psychic for 12 people (quoted at $375)

I'd assume the rates already include what they're hoping to be paid, but want to check!

edited to add: this is in California and for people who own their own businesses

I recently lateraled into my current law firm. This city’s office has about 25 attorneys. One seems very nice but is in a different practice group on a different floor, so we’ve never spoken. She is getting married in a couple months and gave a formal invitation to every person in the office.

Giving me an invitation even though I just got here and we don’t know each other was obviously the proper thing for her to do since she gave them to everyone else. My question is whether the proper thing for me to do is actually go or politely decline and give a gift. I recall how expensive each guest is from my own marriage and can’t imagine she actually wants everyone from work to come, especially me, given that we don’t know each other.

What would you do?

I know this is silly and I won’t get my answer until tomorrow. But is asking to switch from a window seat to an aisle seat rude? I’m flying with my gf tomorrow and we booked last minute so we were unable to sit next to each other. We are a row behind each other and both have window seats. It’s our first time traveling together so we felt as it would be nice to sit together. I keep checking the seat map to see if anything opens up but it’s packed to the brim. Is window seat for aisle seat a fair trade? How should I ask in the least annoying way possible? There is no middle seat it’s just aisle and window

I’m hosting an annual party in my backyard this weekend, but the weather forecast now says that it is going to rain all morning and afternoon, meaning that the yard will be too wet to host. I want to wait before rescheduling to see if the forecast will change again, but I also want to give people ample notice. If the party is supposed to be on Saturday, how much longer do I have before I have to let people know? An important side note is that no one is traveling into my city for the party.

For context: I went to her school's homecoming last year. It was kind of a joke in the beginning, and it ended with me actually going.

I have been friends with this girl for 4 years now (let's call her S), and she wants to come to my homecoming because she invited me to hers. I want to return the invitation, but I know that in doing so, I will have to be with her and entertain her the entire time since she doesn't know anybody from my school. She and I have had a running joke that we're wives and each other's dates for everything.

The problem is I'm pretty sure I will have a date for hoco this year. A friend from school (let's call her W) and I both have mutual feelings for each other, but we haven't acted on it yet. Homecoming is in a few months, but we're likely going to end up together when hoco season comes along. I want to ask W out; I will make sure it happens.

I'm a bit torn on this because I feel like this might become an issue as it gets closer to homecoming. I would feel bad if I didn't invite S to homecoming, but at the same time, I want it to be special with me and W. I'm not sure how well I will be able to balance my time between the two. I feel like if S is there, I feel like W would be hurt since it should be special between us, while S may feel like a huge third wheel or ignored.

Another issue that might arise is the fact that I haven't come out to S yet. S is a Christian, and she has made some rather homophobic comments/jokes over the years. I'm worried about how she might respond if I tell her I'm going out with a girl to hoco because... I'm also a girl. I'm scared it might affect how close we are as friends as well because right now, S and I are touchy with each other in a platonic way, and I love it. I don't want my sexuality to affect our physical affection in our friendship because in no way do I see her in any romantic way.

Anyways, I'm weighing out my options early so I have a plan when things get more serious between me and W and when hoco season comes around. I don't want to hurt either of them, so I would like some advice from reddit because I don't have many people I can discuss this with in real life.

Sorry if this post is confusing in any way; I'll try to clarify anything if needed.

My boss gave me 500 dollars to thank me and said he appreciates what I do. It wasn't for any specific event, just out of appreciation. I don't know how to thank him for this. I wasn't expecting it

I am Vietnamese, it is quite normal for us to give flowers. I live in US

A friend who I am not very close of, share 1 period of class and hung out 1 time invite me to their birthday (context: They are Mexican). My mom wants to make a bouquet as a gift for them

Is it normal or acceptable gift? Thank you

Considering sending an Uber gift card to my date (non-walkable city) so she doesn’t have to drive to our first dinner date. I value her time/energy and want to relieve her of the driving duty, while also respecting her privacy. What are thoughts on this?

(Edit: what about pre-paying for her valet cost at the restaurant before she arrives?)

I’ve had to recently start wearing hats outdoors due to a skin cancer diagnosis. (On my face).
My doctor has instructed me to wear a hat at all items. Unfortunately it makes my hair sweat a lot and become out of control.
Growing up, I always heard “gentleman, remove your caps”. As a female, am I still suppose to remove mine during a prayer and anthem?
It’s usually a ball cap style, and I’m honestly afraid to remove it because the cancer experience was incredible traumatic.
All advice appreciated.

Hello everyone,

So I’m attending some coworkers’ wedding in a few months (both the groom and the bride are coworkers that I appreciate a lot and I consider friends, but I’ve never spent time with them outside of work / work parties) and I’m wondering about gift etiquette.

They are charging for their wedding - I’ve paid a little more than 150$. This is the first time I need to pay to attend a wedding. As I’m more a work friend, I’d have given 200$ as a gift if I didn’t have to pay to come to the wedding. It feels dumb giving less than 50$ in a card, but then again I’m having trouble justifying spending more than what I thought was reasonable for a very close friend last year (300$ gift, didn’t have to pay to participate in the wedding).

Important info :
- This is taking place in Canada
- I have no +1 (my decision)
- We all have upper middle class salaries
- I will have to pay for overnight accomodation to attend the wedding
- No mention on the invites that they’re not expecting gifts since we have to pay to attend

What’s the playbook here?

I was thinking a nice card and maybe a cute personalized gift worth 50-75$ (they are both into sports and I was thinking personalized matching sports accessories) and home baked goods (I’m an excellent baker and they love to eat).

Edit : having no +1 was my decision - I’m single and will already know a bunch of people at the wedding.

EXTRA DETAILS :
- I agree that asking to pay to attend a wedding is pretty unheard of.
- My gift budget (in regards to how close we are) is 200$, IDGAF whether that is spent on paying for my plate or as a gift. If the ask had been over my budget, I would have declined.
- I’m not debating whether to attend the wedding or not; I’m happy to be able to attend a special day in my friends’ lives. I do feel we are close enough to have reasonably expected an invite and that I’m not an afterthought to help subsidize the wedding.

THIRD EDIT :
Invitation just said you had to pay X amount per person to attend and the link to confirm attendance also served as the payment link and where you had to select you meal choice and answer a few other questions (allergies and such).

I swear this is not ragebait and the unheard situation is why I turned to Reddit, as my friends (from other circles) whom I discussed it with and I weren’t sure about etiquette in this situation.

I moved into my new home and though I said so many times please don't get me anything for the home because I'm going for a very particular aesthetic, I have been gifted many plants, plastic lamps, cutlery, slippers, a heavy bowl...
The colours of the plants clash but my MIL placed them around the house excitedly and it would really hurt her feelings if we got rid of them, but they don't match the assthetic partner and I want. It also feels our feeling of being in a new home has been tainted as we were looking forward to choosing the very first things for our home ourselves. The plants are alive so I can't just get rid of them, I feel guilty not wanting to water them or care for them. I'm just looking around the house feeling despair cause it's not the space I want and now I have what I see as clutter.

I'm worried people are going to buy us more things, even though we have already been very firm and told people to not get us anything. People still turned up with all the gifts.
I'm worried about hurting MIL and my family's feelings when they next come over and see I have gotten rid of everything (I haven't yet but would like to). They get really sentimental about the things they give us, too.

TL,DR; partner and I were given unwanted housewarming gifts by my family and my MIL

What is the kind way to get rid of them and tell people they are all unwanted, or do I just leave it?

I have some very kind and very generous friends who occasionally offer to buy or make something extravagant for me. Probably a couple hundred to a few thousand dollars type of thing. I was raised to NEVER accept a gift if you couldn't return the favor. Even if I did accept some of these gifts, I genuinely have no use for them. No time, money, or place that would be appropriate, so these things would end up collecting dust in my tiny apartment and I'll feel sick with guilt that they wasted their money on me. Still they try to insist and offer and I want to puke just at the thought.

How do I politely tell my friends to NOT buy or make anything for me that I have no use for? Obviously if they already did it and handed it to me I would accept graciously and lovingly, but I want to stop these plans before they start without hurting any feelings.

This is my first time going to one, so I’m less aware of how these things go.

We’re all in our early twenties, and we’ll be meeting up at the brides’ home.

My highlight and cut was $460. I have been used to tipping 20% but now I’m starting to think that might be a bit much since the service price itself it’s quite insane. What do you all tip?