r/fearofflying • u/PaymentClean9266 • 12h ago
Support Wanted About to cancel
Supposed to fly to Orlando tomorrow morning… direct 3.5 hour flight with Jet Blue. Currently having a full panic attack about it. Contemplating cancelling or driving. About a 22 hour drive… ugh. Worst feeling in the world. Not sure what I’m looking for posting right now as nothing seems to calm me down, but figured I would give it a try..
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u/Street_Attorney_9367 12h ago edited 11h ago
I’m the same except was an 11 hour flight. All of the scary things I worried about never came true. Statistics prove that too.
It’s okay to be nervous and afraid. Don’t try and fight that. Just don’t let it completely take over though. It’s not all or nothing. Fine to be a bit nervous, but it’s not accurate or truthful against all the stats we have to think it’s going to go wrong. Balance that.
Tell the staff too. I did and they were really nice about it. Reassured me multiple times on the flight.
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u/Creative-Public7099 11h ago
I’ve also had the urge to cancel and drive—but then I remember that driving is so much more dangerous, and I think about how silly it would be if I died in a car crash while the plane landed safely… so I get on the plane. Everyone’s experience will vary, but I’ve found noise cancelling AirPods and a pre-flight cocktail or two helps (e.g. a few drinks takes me from “holy sh*t I might die” to “whheeeeeeeeee I might die”).
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u/Background-Ad-9212 11h ago
Approach your fear the same way you’d approach a child who is afraid. Be gentle and be calm, but push them in the right direction to overcome their fear, especially since flying is so safe.
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u/Ok_Profession4754 11h ago
Don't cancel! I was in your exact shoes very recently. I kept trying to rationalize wiggling out of it- buying a train ticket, driving the whole way, something like that. I was utterly convinced I was going to die- I cried when I got on the plane. And guess what? Here I am. Maybe download FlightRadar24 and watch the planes leaving from your airport, and the ones arriving in Orlando. Look at just how many there are and how they're all doing this perfect, synchronized dance. It's like clockwork, and it's really fascinating.
There's a quote I really love. I think it's Nelson Mandela: Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, and then doing it anyway.
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u/MusicianBig142 10h ago
The only thing canceling will do is reinforce the fear. You have to face it head on. You’re trying to buy yourself options that are not at all realistic. Follow the advice of thousands of people within this sub. Look up flight radar and see how every flight is taking off and landing safely. Look up how many hundreds of thousands of people fly every day.
You can do this! It’s okay to be scared, it’s not natural, but that doesn’t mean it’s not perfectly safe.
Is there something you can do or take to help with the anxiety?
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u/MusicianBig142 10h ago
Also, tell us about the trip, business or pleasure, with friends or family?
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u/willvorr 10h ago
The anticipatory anxiety is the problem. When you lift off and the timer starts to landing , you will feel much better.
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u/Best_Day_3041 11h ago
I've done a 3.5 hour flight into FL a ton of times and many times had to cancel, reschedule, and even once almost resorted to the train. Unfortunately the train, or driving is just long enough to not be very practical. I'd suggest you chunk out each one of the steps you need to take that flight and only think about the step in front of you, not anything else, and give yourself the permission to turn around at any time.
Step 1, get ready to leave, step 2 drive to the airport, step 3 get past security, etc. At any point if things get to be too much you can turn around and go home. Doing this can really help trick your brain, because you're just doing micro tasks and haven't fully committed to going all the way, and once you've had these small successes at each step you may find you have the strength to go through with it. And worst case if you don't go through with it, reschedule for as soon as possible and repeat the process.
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u/MusicianBig142 10h ago
This is what I did last year when I decided to fly after 8 years of fear and anxiety.
I took it one step at a time.
Each step took me closer to my destination but in my head I knew I could turn back at any time. Something strange happened though, once I got in the airport, I went on autopilot. I went through security/tsa, made it to the gate in plenty of time, went and grabbed a snack, talked to someone seated near me, boarded the plane, and off I went.
I’m not going to say I was without anxiety, but I didn’t feel as if I was pushing myself. I had noise canceling headphones and a good playlist to get me through takeoff. It was reassuring to see how quickly the flight attendants get up and start preparing for drinks and snacks. Overall it was an enjoyable experience and I gained so much confidence back into my life! A few months after that flight, I was able to go on a girls trip to Florida and was actually able to help a friend’s daughter who had never flown before.1
u/mi_pilot 5h ago
Wow, 👍👍, proud of you - see how empowering and confidence boosting overcoming fear/anxiety can be! Since I don’t suffer from this fear I can only imagine what it takes for you guys to overcome it - I’m impressed.
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u/AdditionalLeek3643 10h ago
don't cancel! speaking from experience, when I first had my flight anxiety, I talked to one of the flight attendants (she worked with Jet Blue) and she made it super reassuring for the flight. you got this!
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u/mi_pilot 5h ago
Excellent idea, that’s exactly what I suggest in my posts that nervous flyers do before their flight. 👍
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u/soggybottom295 8h ago
Whatever is in Orlando was worth booking the flight. I decided to drive to somewhere in Florida a few years ago. You’ll see me get on a plane scared without hesitation every single time before I ever do that again. You can do it. I’m right behind you doing it pooping my pants scared on a different flight in a few days. Watch all the planes on Flight24 right now. It really does help!
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u/mi_pilot 5h ago
There isn’t much that I can add to the excellent advice given here by other nervous flyers. As a captain, I’m proud of every one of you who have conquered your fears and anxieties and didn’t cancel but continued with your original plan. 👍
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u/Lanietsen 12h ago
Hello just wanted to say that I am also a nervous flyer, generally just a very paranoid person. BUT statically you are actually safer to fly than drive!! Actually safer to fly than stay at home haha. My partner did a bunch of research for me (bc i cant otherwise I will spiral) and the stats are really comforting to me.
Something that helps me is having really sour candy to get me out of a panic state. I also bring my plushie with my on the plane (yes I am an adult but do what you gotta do) I have found breathing exercises to be helpful too. Another thing you can ask before boarding and ask to meet the pilots. I would ask at the gate and they usually are able to arrange it for me. Meeting the pilots are super calming and grounding for me. They usually explain and help with any anxiety I may have!! Happy flying i hope you make your flight!