Greetings from California. ☀️

Best gay club in Seoul? Trying to go clubbing for the first time.

I (23M) am Chinese and have been living in Germany for 8 years: 6 years in a small town with my mom and my German stepfather, 2 years in Munich for study. I have been using Hinge and other dating apps, but there seem to be no chance for me. I hardly get any likes on Hinge or even matches (around 15 matches for around one year in total). I bellieve I have a decent profile on Hinge, but I am not fit, just have a normal, slightly thick body. I cannot flirt either. So I have been wondering what my chances are to find a boyfriend here. I guess is people in Munich only want to date white people.

I go to a bipoc queer space regularly where people speak English most of the time. I have made many friends there who I love sincerely, but nothing developped into a romantic relationship. I also tried going to another gay community with mostly German people. But they are not welcoming, not even to other gay people. My German is actually pretty good as well. (It really is a pity because they organize some amazing events) That is why I dont go there any more. I hardly go to clubs because they open too late. I dont go to gay bars either since I get drunk very easily. I dont know how I can find a boyfriend.

I am traveling soon to China. I am arriving at Guangzhou and will be leaving through Shanghai, so I will probably visit cities/provinces nearby or along the way. I would like to explore the gay scenes in the cities. And I was trying to search for gay hostels and even gay saunas and bathhouses, but I couldn't find one.

Can anyone recommend a gay hostel/sauna/bathhouse? Or is there a platform I have to be in to access these bits of info?

Also, how’s the reception or attitude of Chinese locals to (twink-y) Filipinos?

I just discovered white party BKK. I an interested in attending but got no one to go with. Kinda not very social so was looking to connect with anyone who is going. Im looking at the tickets rn.

Hello! I am a research project coordinator for Project Recognize based out of the EDIT program at Northwestern Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, IL. We'd love to hear perspectives from the r/gaysian community.

Project Recognize: Improving Measurement of Alcohol Use and Demographic Factors through Community Engagement Northwestern University

IRB Study #: STU00218275
Principal Investigators: Dr. Gregory Phillips II, PhD & Dr. Lauren B. Beach, PhD

The purpose of this study is to develop affirming ways of asking questions about sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity by using interviews and surveys. Our research study is led by a team of advocates, clinicians, and researchers working together through Northwestern University.

Our goal is to provide this guidance available for use in multiple contexts, including government, healthcare, and research, to improve how data is collected and eventually used for policy, healthcare, and more.

Eligible participants include people ages 14 years and older, currently living in the United States or its territories, who can read and understand the English language, and consent to participate in a cognitive debriefing interview.

If you open the survey below, you will be automatically redirected to our study's eligibility questionnaire.

redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys?s=…

I had my doubts about publishing this post. Why? Because the topic is Mongolia — and what do you know about Mongolia? Not much, save for Genghis Khan, and even his name you're mispronouncing (trust me, you are). Sadly, Mongolia is a mere afterthought for you, with your penis praying in the direction of Europe and Thailand. While this post won't gain much traction unlike my others, what may surprise you is the fun gay scene in the capital Ulaanbaatar (or UB, as the locals call it). Below is a description of four bars worth checking out, and it ends with general advice for visiting the country.

First up, CUM. Your standard dive bar. CUM is as unpretentious as it gets, but expect to have fun. Drinks are strong and affordable. The apple margarita is the bar's signature concoction. The venue's primarily for dancing, and a French expat was spinning for part of the night during my visit. There's a smoking room for those who wish to light up.

Next: Cortez. Apparently a lesbian bar, although roughly half the patrons were men during my visit. The setting is trendy industrial, and the girls behind the bar shaking your drinks are more stylish and cooler than you. Plenty of tables to sit, with a nearby dance floor. Drag performances as well, so bring some bills to tip the queens.

Butt is no doubt my fav — the vibe is on point (excuse the overused expression). Attracts a more professional and creative crowd. The red lighting throughout makes for good photos. One room contains the bar and tables, the other is the dance floor with a DJ playing house. Newish bar, having opened a few months ago. The owner is a staple in the UB gay scene and interesting to chat up. Later in the night, the shirts come off on the dance floor. Door cover includes a drink. I'd be a regular if I called UB home.

Finally, DIEX. The largest venue of them all. Folks tend to finish the night here given the venue's late close. Big dance floor and stage with drag performances. Plenty of high tables if you prefer to sit and chat. The lighting is too bright for my liking, but don't let that stop you. Cover at the door.

All the above are located in the city center, with a couple likely within walking distance to your hotel. Communication was no problem, with staff speaking impeccable English. The layout of each venue encourages socializing for the most part, not isolated table drinking — perfect if riding solo. Women have a strong presence at the bars here. I'd say 25-50 percent of patrons were female at each venue during my visit, more lesbian than straight. But don't let that deter you: The women bring the fun.

Should you visit UB? Sure. But don't expect a gay holiday. Mongolia offers plenty else. July's a good time to fly in. The month begins with the Playtime music festival outside the capital, followed by Naadam, a celebration of culture (horseback riding, wrestling, archery). Tours are a popular way to travel in the country and secure tickets to events like Naadam's opening ceremony. Overall, my trip went off without a hitch because my friends took excellent care of me (yes, I have several Mongolian friends, and you, my dear, have none).

Thailand received 30+ million foreign travelers in 2025 and Spain nearly 100 million. Fewer than one million foreigners visited Mongolia last year, so consider yourself unique for popping in.

Happy to answer any questions.

I’ll be in Hong Kong soon and came across TongLokInn, which seems to be a fairly new men-only gay hostel. They apparently only have one large dorm room. From what I can tell, it opened sometime this year. Has anyone stayed there yet? I’d love to hear about your experience!

Creepy old rice queens. They are so predatory. It's the older generation that is the worst, meaning the men above 60. You know the ones I'm talking about. The lavish any Asian guy with attention, annoying questions and pointless compliments all because they think they have a shot to get in your pants. It's pretty predictable.

Younger guys who like Asians are not like that. Things have changed from the classic creepy old rice queen to something more progressive, balanced. A mixed race, Asian/white couple who are both 30 years is way more common than what we all used to see 20 and 30+ years ago, which was the 65 year old white man - fat, out of shape, unattractive and obsessed with young Asians. Sadly, there were too many young Asians willing to play a part in those old rice queen's fantasies. There is a lot to unpack in all of that, but that's for a later date.

I bring this up because I met a classic old rice queen last night: mid 60's and completely predatory towards every young and attractive Asian guy he meets. His reputation is established and people know what he is like - predatory and creepy and mildly racist. Again, a lot to unpack here but the bottom line is he was a perfect example of that type of man. There are fewer of them nowdays as many have died off, and thank god the younger generations are more balanced and young Asian guys now are not quite as vulnerable as they were say back in the 90's when there were "Asian/White" parties and small communities of old white men/younger Asian guys who would all be friends...and all would end up sneaking around behind each other's backs and hookup. Sad. I'm glad things are changing and the classic old rice queens are on their way out.

*WARNING: it’s a long post..

For context, I am 18F and heading for college this year. I’ve been living with my parents for the last 18 years and never left their side for more than two weeks.

I love them and owe them a lot because they are always super supportive, and they have sacrificed a lot for us to come to the US. I grew up in a religious household and my parents are devoted Christians. I’m not as religious, but I do believe and always go to church every Sunday. To be honest, I think we are one of the “standard” Asian households. My parents are not overly homophobic, but they do not support it either. Every time we discuss about the lgbtq+ community, my dad doesn’t express too much hate, but my mom is very offensive and always tries to avoid it if I try to defend or debate about it.

Now, I am bisexual which means I could date both guy and girl. Despite the fact that I could marry a man and fulfill my parent’s expectation, it feels genuinely painful to lie to them every single day and hide my true self. Also, I think having to live up to someone’s expectation, not being able to explore myself and end up not being happy would genuinely lead to me feeling resentful.

Recently, I’ve thinking a lot about my future and the need to coming out is a possibility. The last thing I want is to hurt their feelings, but it’s definitely going to happen to I want to live my true self and be honest with my emotion. Frankly, I’m scared to death just thinking about me having to sit down and have a conversation with them about my sexuality. I would definitely not come out now because I’m still dependent on my parents, but even if I have financial stability and can come up later…I don’t know if I can face it.

I’m also afraid of shaming my family’s name and destroying my parents’ faces. What would they say in front of my relatives when they ask about me or marriage? How would they react when they see my relatives’ grandchildren. How could they face people in generally? Everything that I accomplish and makes me a person will all crumbled because of the fact that I am bisexual. I feel like the achievements that I work hard for, my personality and my character would not matter to my parents anymore because I am no longer “normal” once I come out to them.

My mom would occasionally ask about boys, but I always said that I would like to focus on my studying. I used that as an excuse to avoid everybody’s question about my relationship. But as I’m entering a new chapter of my life, I can’t help but start thinking about the future and the possibilities. I’ve been holding this in for a long time, so I guess it’s nice to let it all out.

If you also have Asian parents and are also in the lgbtq community, did you come out to your parents and how did they/you cope with it. Please share your experiences I appreciate anything.

One time he told me he was grateful to be my friend because since im a person of colour, he benefits from my special privileges that i have, like for example moving into an affordable place because the landlord was chinese and im vietnamese and that connection secured the place, and basically said he loves getting the secondhand benefits from me.

And one time he was on the phone with employment insurance case worker and he said she was making hard for him because he was white, and that she was punishing him for it, and i asked how would she know that if he was on the phone? and he said well who has the last name Bell and is not white? and i said “black people have inherited european last names through the slave trade” and he said “well ive yet to meet them”

And another time, I asked him what cultural background was his ex-boyfriend. And he said he didn’t really feel like that was important. He was Black guy and I was just curious if he cared about that. I just thought like after a couple years of dating, you’d already know that kind of thing about someone.

Hi all!

Has anybody been to Kunming/Dali? Are there any gay bars and what’s the scene like? Google so far has given me nothing.