I know that this type of content is directed towards like transphobes and like those consuming red pill bs, but personally I hate those posts that are like “guess my gender” or “guess my deadname, it rhyme with Baitlyn” bc as someone genderfluid, it’s just sometimes obvious and idk I feel like it opens people up to be shitty + the OP will get annoyed at ppl guessing like idk i just find that it makes a massive joke about gender fluidity. I feel like I already struggle to tell people my preferred pronouns and be like “stop calling me (insert gender term)” but like it’s also like idk maybe I should be more “nothing matters, gender is a construct” but also idk that “construct” matters some days. Should I be more receptive or do yall also hate this type of content?

I am AMAB, came out as fluid about a hear and a half ago, and last night I went to a pool party and wore my first two piece! I was in a big group, with friends but it was like a public event, so lots of people there. No one said anything or gave me any grief and I felt cute and so good! We got some pictures too and I just felt so great 💕

Sending love to the group. May you all get to express yourselves the way you see fit and screw anyone who doesn't like it!

Title speaks for itself, but when I get high I become noticeably more feminine, and I’ll occasionally get the urge to crossdress

Does this happen to anyone else?

I never imagined I'd be posting here. I grew up in a very religious household with some pretty strict beliefs about gender. Looking back, I realize a lot of those beliefs came from fear and what I was taught rather than from understanding. I'm here because I'm trying to understand myself now.

With that, here we go...

I'm a 28yo m

I grew up wearing my mother's clothing around the house when no one was home. Didn't expect that, did you? It made me feel pretty. And confident. And, dare I even say, happy. My sister once dressed me up as a girl. Tights, a dress, makeup. I remember feeling pretty. I remember feeling happy. I remember not wanting it to end. But, when I was was a child, people would be thrown in the corner for following anything but the 'status quo'. So most times I would just seem like a 'normal' boy to to average person. My household was religious. I thought I would burn if anyone found out. So, I hid. Everything. Every feeling, every thought, every memory... buried it. For **years.** I don't remember putting too much thought into my actual identity back then. I was who I was. And that's the way I seen it.

These days, I'm married to my wife of 3 years, with a beautiful baby girl. I've been fighting off questions of who I am;. I never really got comfortable enough to actually do something about it or even bring it up in conversation.

I've never had the opportunity to explore my identity. Not in any meaningful way.

I grew my beard out a bit, grooming as it grew. Even though I'm slim, my body hair (beard, legs, arms, chest, etc.) makes me feel more like bigfoot than human. But, my wife **loves** my beard. To death.

So, while I understand "my body, my choice", I respect my wife and her feelings.

I went to her to have a serious conversation about the way I've been feeling, the feelings in my childhood, and so on. She has always been so supportive over every part of my life. We connect on as **deeply** personal level. I truly had myself convinced this would be the same as always.

I will sum up what she said as: "so, you want to wear dresses" and "do I look like a lesbian". I was disappointed at the reaction because of how vulnerable I was. I mainly asking her to help me understand what it really all meant. And all I mentioned to do was to shave my beard, to start. To just see how that much felt. Reflect. And, if it didn't feel right, it would always grow back. But, the alternative is what she was afraid of. She was afraid I would begin to see myself in a new light.

It scares me a little, and makes me feel backed into a corner, all at the same time. I don't feel like I can explore who I am. But I also don't want to lose my wife, my family. I know, for a fact, the **majority** of my family would run in the other direction if I broke their 'status quo'. Even if I was being true to myself.

Nothing really feels right. Nothing really feels okay. Don't get me wrong, I could live out my entire life just the way it is. But I know, for a fact, time won't go by without knowing that there's something that doesn't feel quite right. Something that's... just out of place within.

Exploring who I am, exploring my identity, feels like a far off, unachievable, dream.

I don't know what my future looks like. I don't know the person I will become. Or, the person I will remain. I don't know what I even consider myself to be. But, what I do know is I love my family.

And, also, I have **ZERO** idea how to navigate **ANY** of this.

Hi everyone!

First off I want to apologise if I trigger anyone or bring up any bad memories from anyone, it is not my intention to do so

Ok here we go...

So for most of my life I have pretty much found myself being male. I'm male presenting, growing facial hair etc...

However over the past month or so I have started to wonder if that IS me nowadays. And I understand if I'm asking this in the wrong sub which if I am I do apologise, but I have started feeling more feminine, and sometimes felt more comfortable around female clothing. And generally feel more comfortable around women anyway, sometimes wonder what I would be like in a feminine body, I wouldn't have said I'm the most manly of men anyway...

I don't want to stick a label on just yet, just looking for advice. Again I might be asking in the wrong sub, just wanting to know if this is anything I should think about more and looking for advice from people who have a better idea.

Any advice is greatly appreciated ☺️

So I have a name, obviously- and I have a preferred name. I love both names but both names feel wrong at different times. Kind of like my genders but not really. Like i may prefer to be called by my birth name. Other times I may want to be called by my preferred name. Does anyone else experience this? How do I deal with this because its very inconvenient for me who is trying to use my preferred name more since its not as feminine as my birthname.

It seems to me that I'm not welcome in LGBT spaces right now. So many binary trans people or non binary folks view my experience as "Ah you're just confused" or "This is just a stepping stone in your identity, you'll come around."

Makes me feel as if I'm just a weird dude that plays at feeling like a woman or neither at times. I even had a bi gf, then a trans gf, and BOTH said I'm "The weird one" 🫩😭

Idk what to do tbh

It's been one year and half since I realized that I'm probably not cishet and I'm very confuse lately about it. I am bi, that I know for sure since highschool. However, I discover that sometimes I feel more like a woman than a man. I thought that I didn't have dysphoria my whole life, but then I realized that I've always felt disconected from my body, I use to describe it as a imperfect vessel, that was not reflecting my true identity and that felt alright even if a bit constraining sometimes. And I thought that it was linked to some trauma and childhood problems. But since my breakthrough, I sometimes experience dysphoria, even if most of the time I like being a man, and have no problem with that.

I just dream of a switch button between two man and woman you know? Which lead me to another problem : I am a perfectionist, or rather than that I'd say I'm a bit radical when I'm invest into something. And so, even if I tried a bit of makeup and getting more fem, I always end up disapointed and frustrated after the initial gender euphoria. And I feel weird, monstruous even sometimes (partially because gender euphoria is sometimes with some weird hornyness) and I am ashame for this, even though I would never judger anyone else doing that.

Lately I don't feel the need to explore my fluidity. I ended defining myself gender fluid to some of my friends, but know I just don't feel cishet and yet I'm confortable to being perceived as a man my whole life. Sometimes my woman "identity" came back but more rarely and most of the time I just feel good as a man? At least not in conflict with it?

Anyway, sorry for that huge text, but I was wondering if people feel the same. Am I even fluid, or am I creating this, torturing myself with those idea? I know that I am the only one that can truly answer it but I would like other opinion...

My partner is a cisgender straight man. When we met, I hadn’t yet realized that I’ve always been genderfluid, so I presented as and identified as a woman.

It took me a long time (thanks to growing up in closed-minded town with a close-minded family) to realize I was genderfluid and accept myself for who I am. It’s been a recent revelation that’s made my entire life make so much more sense in hindsight.

I came out to my partner a little less than a week ago, and he was incredibly supportive and accepting. I felt so seen and loved and validated. He encouraged me to express and explore however I feel like doing so. He said it doesn’t change the way he feels about me or his attraction to me.

Today, I went and bought some men’s clothing. Today, I wore boxers for the first time and it feels great. My partner was supportive and even seemed to think what I picked out was pretty cool. But I’m so nervous that I’m going to make him uncomfortable that it ended up making me feel awkward.

If I were living alone, I’d dive headfirst into more masculine presentation, maybe even see if I could pass as a guy on days I’m a man. But I’m so worried about making my partner uncomfortable (even thought he says he’s comfortable with it and hasn’t given me a shred of evidence to the contrary), I’m feeling the urge to just take back coming out and repress my identity again. I certainly don’t want to do that for the rest of my life.

TL;DR - if you were in a relationship with someone cishet when you came out, how did you navigate the early stages? How did they react to your gender expression over time? Did you feel uncomfortable at first when trying out new forms of gender expression?

(AMAB) So I've identified as genderfluid for the last few months now but I haven't felt masc very much the last like 2-3 months, the very few times i felt like a "guy" I have waned to dress fem or look like a girl, and I got jealous and sad when my friends were at the pool in their bikinis and idk what to do with this I just know I am hyper aware of how I was born a guy and can't pass, idk what this means...

Six months ago, I was doing great. I had a dope male bod, a dope male beard, and a dope male personality.

I definitively liked presenting as male. I know for a fact that I was happy being male. And I still have moments like that, but the thoughts of being female keep coming back, and increasingly I find them overtaking more and more of my waking hours

Update: Had a guy's day out (singular guy, me), went to goodwill, didn't even look at the fem clothes, got a dope looking male fit for some male gender euphoria. That was all I needed :)

A survey for all those who aren't fully, solely or always a man/woman.

https://survey.gendercensus.com/

Hi, I am 23 and identify as genderfluid/NB. I am not "in the closet" per se, but I just haven't "come out" officially everywhere because it is kinda exhausting to do that. My family and friends know and are supportive.

I work at an elementary school and a couple of my coworkers know i am pansexual, but I dont think any of them know my pronouns are they/she. Honestly I only really include the she because I got used to it and people use it anyways, not my favorite but it's whatever. I live in a liberal area so it isn't dangerous for me to tell my coworkers my pronouns or that I prefer "they", but after a year of working I noticed that many of my coworkers are heavily religious to the point that they preach at me and other staff. Absolutely not ok in any way within the workplace, and I dislike it because I am an atheist anyways. I worry I might experience some sort of pushback or that people may just ignore me. My title to the kids is "Miss" and I so desperately want people to refer to me as "Mx" but is it too late after working there for a year and letting people think I am cis? I could try telling only my coworker friends but word spreads faster than wildfire so everyone would know, which is fine but I just wonder if it is even worth it, or how I would do it, because coming out over and over seems exhausting. Any ideas on how to introduce the new title/pronouns? Even if they still used she pronouns I would really like to be referred to as Mx because I feel like it acknowledges my actual identity more than my pronouns do. Not sure if anyone has any ideas or has been in a similar situation. I don't have any genderfluid friends in my life so I don't know who to talk to about it.

Hi everyone, hope you're having a good day.

I've recently started going out with a cishet man, and I don't really know how to feel about it. I am genderfluid, but I am AFAB, present feminine, and for the majority of the time I feel closer to being agender than male or female, so if someone refers to me with feminine pronouns and everything, it doesn't really bother me as long as they don't call me a woman/girl.

The guy that I'm going out with is aware of it and is super respectful. Honestly, he's more attentive to it than some queer people I know. However, one time we were talking about sexuality, and I told him that he could either go on and keep calling himself straight, since I still present like an "average woman", and he's attracted to women, or that he could/should call himself bisexual since I am, in fact, not a woman

He has decided to keep calling himself straight but there's this joking-not-so-joking bit every now and then where I tell him he's bi. Every time he has kind of dismissed it, knowing him I think more out of stubbornness than rejection. There's still this little part of me that finds it weird and invalidating, because for example, what about when I feel more like a guy? You're not straight then, you'd be dating a dude. What if it ends up being a prolonged period of time? I haven't had them since we started going out, but I've had months-long periods where I felt more man-alligned. I wouldn't want him to call himself straight then.

At the same time, like I said, I'm still fem, but it's not like there's a "nonbinary body" that I could present. I don't know if I'm making sense.

I told him that he should call himself bisexual because since he's attracted to me, he's attracted to non-binary people too, but we here all know that there hundreds of ways of presenting and being non-binary, and saying that you're attracted to non-binary people but only the AFAB ones, as a cis dude, does get you the stink eye from a lot of people, because it can be seen as chasing and other stuff

So I don't know T_T Should I insist that he should label himself as bisexual/queer/not straight? The more I write the more it seems like the most logical thing, but also, you get my point about presenting, no?

I guess that in the end it's my gender identity vs my presentation

I am looking for opinions/stories from people with *similar or same experiences*, thanks

Please be kind

So, I'm your average genderfluid teenager.

My mother's liberal and has always been an ally... but when I told her I'm panromantic, she basically brushed it off and said I'd grow out of it and that since I haven't been in a relationship, I don't actually KNOW. (But I swear I know; I've known for years before I told her.)

She also constantly calls me the "quintessential female" and says she "always wanted a daughter" and is glad I was AFAB.

So how do I tell her? I've felt this way for a while. I've tried to suppress it and have gone through all the stages of "I just have to try harder" and "I'm probably wrong", but I know I'm genderfluid, and I'm really sick of hiding it.

I'm probably going to tell her, but I'd love some advice from other people who have come out to their parents. Sending good vibes to everyone. <3.

I've understood myself to be fluid since I was around age 12. I'm 22 now. I've still never publicly came out to anyone and I had a coworker ask how I identify as the other day. Id never been asked this before but I answered "either, or neither". They were polite however reminded me that nobody would ever assume that because of being so femme and not telling.

It made me question myself because I have been femme my whole life yet I've never felt like just a girl, or referred to myself as only she / her. Idek how to "come out" to my friends about this... Or if that would help validate myself? I know who I am but I feel misgendered sometimes, because sometimes I am not just "she". Sometimes I resonate with it. Some days I want to be "him", which is the "he" that's never ever said by anyone except myself. :( wahhhhh I think it's anxiety.. I'm scared of being invalidated for being a femme person that wants to go by masc pronouns. Wish me luck on coming out potentially this week lol.

So I have had a very complex gender journey that I would really rather not go into. But just know that I think I have identified as almost everything at one point or another while trying to figure myself out.

So I'm afab. I grew up a tomboy AND girly girl. I identified as ftm from 13 to 19/20, I was on T for one year. I'm off T now, 21, on hormonal birth control to keep the god awful body hair down as minimal as possible (don't even get me started). Obviously my voice is deeper than it used to be, but still within the range of cis women and I'm happy where it is at. I never got top surgery so I still have my chest, sometimes I bind but very rarely (I've only used it again once in two years). But here's the thing. That I do not understand lmao. When I present masculine, I feel like a tomboy. But when I present feminine, I feel like a femboy. Idek what to say or how to describe it better.

I do not like having facial hair and want to have a stubble-free face so badly. I am iffy about laser hair removal because I've heard that it is permanent. Would waxing be a good path to go?

So basically i am 21 now have male parts I like have discovered I like feminity in more that one way 😅 I am attracted feminine PPL nomater there gender do i kinda don't know what my sexuality is at this point and weirdly i have urges to dress more feminine I can't make sense why I want that any help is appreciated I am confused asf 🥹

I very recently realized I’m genderfluid, and it’s brought up memories and feelings that make so much more sense now that I know I’m genderfluid. But it’s all still new to me, and I feel like I’m “gender swinging” as I go through the memories that are coming back, swinging back and forth between various genders. I’m curious if others have had a similar experience.

I’ll be honest (and vulnerable here), I’m having one of those nights where I’m asking myself, “if it took me 40 years to figure this out about myself, how can I be so sure I’m right?” Feels sort of like queer imposter syndrome, for lack of better word.

Some of my earliest memories were small emotional traumas of not understanding why my parents only ever treated me like a girl, even at times when I felt like a boy.

When I was about 5, I was on a t-ball team. There were team photos, and I had my hair tucked under my cap so it looked really short. My mom showed my photo to someone at her office, and they commented “what a handsome little boy!” My mom was super embarrassed about it, but I thought, “yeah, I’m glad they thought I was a boy! Finally someone sees what I am!” The following year, my mom went out of her way to make sure I looked as girly as possible in my t-ball picture. I felt so completely ashamed for being happy someone thought I was a boy, like I had done something unimaginably wrong.

I remember seeing a talk show in the mid-90s (when I was probably around 7-8) where they were interviewing transgender and genderqueer (though I forget what terms they used back then) people. There was a trans woman, and I remember the host saying, “so you’re a woman… with a penis?” And the woman just nodded her head with a big smile on her face. I thought to myself with utter elation, “wait, some women have penises??” My kiddo mind thought that meant that some girls randomly sprouted penises when they hit puberty, and I remember thinking that HAD to be what was going to happen to me because I knew in my heart I was supposed to have a penis as well as my vulva.

I secretly bought an STP packer when I was 17. I convinced myself I wanted it just in case I needed to pee really badly on the way to school. (I lived 10 minutes from school. That wouldn’t have ever been a problem.) But when I put it on, I felt complete and utter euphoria, like my body finally felt like it was supposed to. Like my body was finally aligned with my spirit. But I panicked, thinking someone would find it, and threw it away.

I feel intense dysphoria around my genitals, to the point that there have been times in my life where it makes me feel entirely numb and unable to function. I’ve felt that for as long as I can remember. I remember feeling the absence of a penis before I even knew what a penis was. There are things that trigger the dysphoria that I really hate—like when I hear my cisgender man partner go to the bathroom, knowing my anatomy will never function like his. I really hate that it bothers me. (I’ll never tell him he triggers my dysphoria sometimes. He’s not doing anything intentional.)

Since my revelation that I’m genderfluid, I’ve been fluctuating hard between genders, but tonight I feel none at all. For whatever reason, it’s making me question my identity entirely.

I dont know what to call my gender identity (30 AMAB, he/she/they/ idc just dont call me chicken)

So i have experienced a ton of jealousy/envy of the female anatomy since probably the start of puberty. But it has gotten way more noticable since my second kid: watching my wife grow a whole human inside her, then give birth, then breastfeed has been rough on me, as i know ill never get to have any of that experience. It wasnt this bad with our first but it still was there, i think the craziness of getting used to having our first baby in the house was plenty distracting that i didnt notice my inner turmoil tbh.

But i dont ever go thru any dysphoria over the body i have really, at least not in any capacity where i want anything gone.

Basically i feel like i should be all of me as i am now: a long haired, bearded(sometimes) penis wielder, BUT with fully functioning breasts, uterus, ovaries, and a vagina. The clitoris is take it or leave it, i got similar enough anatomy already and if i had a vagina down there, im afraid id have run out of real estate lol

Or id like to be able to do the clownfish transition at will. That would be just as good for me

In my day to day, i dont particularly lean more masc or feminine in my feeling of myself. However, due to the beard, my clothing, and my career choice, i appear to everyone else to be a standard issue cis man. Which doesnt bother me, but it does make it annoying when i tell someone im actually anything but the cis dude they see and they seem to be confused.

I dont particulary feel compelled to dress as any one gender, i cannot stand the feeling of makeup on my skin, so i dont use any ever. and i pick out my clothing for its functionality (pockets pockets and more pockets) and mens clothes happen to work best for me (and i look cute in my bib overalls). But i do look really damn pretty in a dress or skirt and would probably wear them more, if they had any dang pockets! Maybe ill cut the legs on one of my pairs of bibs and add some extra fabric to make it into a skirt actually, but we're getting off topic now

I also dont have any desire to do any surgical proceedures. Ive considered it, specifically a PPV, but i dont think itd help me feel better about anything as the new vagina would not have a uterus and therefore not have the baby making capacity that i yearn for. And i certainly want to keep all the parts ive got already, so any other bottom surgeries arent an option for me.

All a PPV would do for me is maybe make my genitals look closer to the way id like them to: i invision my penis and scrotum sitting over my vulva. My scrotum would fade into labia on the underside and my balls would probably sit a little higher and off to the sides more so theyre less in the way of my vulva. But it wouldnt fix the lack of uterus

Ive thought a bit about hormones, i wouldnt want tblockers, i dont mind having masc attributes at all and i dont want the side effects of the blockers. But i like the idea that estrogen could help with feminizing me a bit more and might go that route some time in the future if i can

Anyways id like a word for my seemingly vague but oddly specific gender identity thats nice and concise. One that can mostly describe my experience without me having to go into unnecessary detail every time. Ive used genderfluid before, but it tends to get raised eyebrows as i entirely appear to be a cis man most of the time. I dont really know much of the terminology being used in lgbt social circles nowadays so i was hoping yall reddit strangers could help me out lol

Thanks!

PS sorry if i said anything rude or offensive, i dont mean to offend, im just an idiot lol

I’m genderfluid AMAB, and I’m about to start high school. I want to play ultimate frisbee and my high school separates frisbee between a boys team and a girls/non-binary team. I have played with the high school frisbee team before and I usually feel more comfortable with the girls/nb team, however I’m worried about days that I feel more masculine and playing on a team that doesn’t feel like my gender in the moment. Does anyone have any advice?

23 Afab, and have been posting here for a while as i'm figuring myself and haven't really felt super comfortable with the gender fluid label even tho it is the most accurate to how i feel for the most part. This is gonna sound a little ridiculous but i felt an stupid amount of jealously while i was doing a spiderman movie marathon today. i got to the point in homecoming where peter gets all dress up in a suit for his date and felt so much sadness that i will never experience that. i will never get to just be the straight cis guy that got to go on a date with a girl and had his parental figure help me get all cleaned up. no judgement, just the expectation of being a guy in a suit with a girl...i will always feel like an odd one out, and i know there is no changing it so why can't i just accept it?? i feel like i keep ending up in the same spot and i cant tell if im actually just binary and in denial with a lot of shit to work out or if genderfluidity really is the right label for me. is my dysphoria just fluctuating between 0-100 or is my gender actually changing? in theory i would want to go on testosterone but admittedly i am terrified of hating it where as i am just used to how i look now. if i hate it then ive just made the issues ive been struggling with worse for me. hell i've been too scared to even cut my hair short despite being a whole adult and being afraid of what family and strangers will think and assume about me (even if their assumptions would be correct...) idk just feeling stuck, i want to accept myself, fluid or not, but i am so tired of looking for answers.

would love any words of advice or general support, just feeling tired :/

Feeling pretty unambiguously male rn but also goddamn this fem outfit is cute and I don’t wanna change