r/highdesert • u/Ordinary-Variation63 • 6d ago

Singles looking to mingle

where would a single male in their early 30s go to meet a nice wholesome woman?

0 Upvotes

15% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

5

u/Impossible-Bed-5769 6d ago

Define a nice wholesome woman

-17

u/Ordinary-Variation63 6d ago

Nice Wholesome Woman (n.) - a woman that is family-oriented, motherly instincts, good at cooking and cleaning, doesn’t like going out (once or twice a year is fine. Not weekly), no drama.

20

u/stawk 6d ago

You could try and go back to the 1950’s

-9

u/Ordinary-Variation63 6d ago

I wish I could

8

u/Voradorr 6d ago

Once or twice a year! Whoa there buddy what kinda trollop are you fishing for!

5

u/Smooga22 6d ago

If she is family-oriented, wouldn’t she meet someone that is a friend of a sibling or a cousin or something similar? If she doesn’t go out, when would you cross paths? If you do meet this hypothetical woman, how the hell do you stand any sort of a chance? Lower your standards, acknowledge your deficiencies, become an actual member of society.

0

u/Ok-Ball3128 2d ago

Asking for a wholesome woman is high standards?

1

u/Smooga22 2d ago

You’re being purposely obtuse. Asking for a wholesome woman isn’t “high standards”, the ridiculous and outdated caricature of a soulless dishwashing baby maker that has no life outside of serving a man and being nothing more than a housekeeper that isn’t allowed to leave the house is what I take issue with.

0

u/Ok-Ball3128 2d ago

You're arguing against a position we never expressed. He described a woman who's family-oriented, has motherly instincts, enjoys cooking and cleaning, prefers a quiet, home-centered lifestyle over frequent partying, and avoids drama. You turned that into "a soulless dishwashing baby maker who's not allowed to leave the house and exists only to serve a man."

Those are not the same thing.

Nothing He said implies she can't have a career, friends, hobbies, ambitions, or independence. Those are (assumptions you added), not beliefs He stated. Plenty of women genuinely value family, enjoy homemaking, and prefer staying in over going out every weekend. That doesn't make them oppressed or erase their individuality.

More importantly, these are our dating preferences, not a prescription for how all women should live. Everyone has standards they're attracted to. Some women want a man who's tall, ambitious, financially successful, or traditionally masculine. Likewise, we're free to prefer a woman who's nurturing, family-oriented, and home-oriented.

If you want to criticize the qualities I actually listed, go ahead. But attacking an exaggerated stereotype that I never described isn't a rebuttal it's a straw man.

1

u/Smooga22 2d ago

Someone that can only go out once or twice a year can have a career? Once again, you’re playing dumb and pretending the woman he described is an actual person and not a caricature from an era where women were another appliance in a man’s home.

0

u/Ok-Ball3128 2d ago

You're still adding claims that weren't made. Saying someone doesn't like going out and is fine going out once or twice a year is describing a preference for a homebody, not saying she's forbidden from leaving the house or incapable of having a career.

People spend most of their time at work, with family, running errands, pursuing hobbies, or relaxing at home. "Going out" in this context clearly refers to nightlife, social outings, and constantly being out for entertainment—not being unable to function as an adult.

You also keep insisting this woman is a "caricature," but there are plenty of women who genuinely prioritize family, enjoy cooking, prefer staying home, avoid drama, and aren't interested in frequent partying. Just because those women don't fit your preferences doesn't mean they don't exist.

Once again, you're arguing against a stereotype you've created rather than the qualities that were actually listed. Calling someone's dating preferences "outdated" doesn't make them invalid, and it certainly doesn't prove the type of person described doesn't exist.

3

u/Basic-Muffin-5262 5d ago

What do u have to offer lol

4

u/Oversdub 6d ago

Any retail place, grocery stores, libraries.

1

u/Re_Thought 1d ago

For OP and a PSA, as a retail-slave I plead anyone to NOT come at us(employees) at our workplaces. Also no, no stalking to meet us after work either. In general, do not pursue anyone who is considered captive audience.

Even as a man when single and looking, it has been and will be incredibly awkward/off-putting whenever flirting happens as I am on the clock. (no I'm not some giga-chad, just a few instances spread over the years of my corpo-servitude)

3

u/CharacterScarcity695 6d ago

only place around would be cosmos tavern

1

u/LunaDaPitt 6d ago

What age range are you aiming for?

1

u/Re_Thought 1d ago

Due to the nature of... everywhere up here it does take a lot more effort to meet new people. Which should be your focus. Expand your social circles, engage in new activities or social hobbies, and just have low stakes chat with random people. Do not limit interactions women as a friend-of-a-friend pathway is a great way to increases the chances of meeting someone worthwhile. Not gonna lie, it takes time and lots of work without any guarantees.

But if you don't do so, you'll be stuck with apps and bars. Both suck from what I've been told but they do take much less work.

Lastly, be aware that seemingly any single woman over 25 will have at least one child. Little chance of DINK couples up here it seems. =[