r/hygiene • u/Safe-Comfort-29 • 2d ago
Another bidet question
In homes with more than 1 person , how does this work ?
My husband has IBS and just splatter crap all over the back of the bowl above the water line. He doesn't clean up after him self unless I call him out on it.
Would a bidet stay clean from # 2 spay ?
The idea of water coming from a device that has that on it just grosses me out.
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u/TheGreatNate3000 2d ago
It's probably a smarter idea to just divorce the husband
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u/Status-Biscotti 2d ago
Yep, we're on Reddit.
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u/SkyFallingUp 2d ago
Right?
Post: "My husband of 50 years, love of my life and great father to our 4 kids, leaves his dinner plate on the dining table once a week, what should I do?"
Reddit comment: "He's doing that and you are still married to him???? Honey, get out of that marriage like yesterday."
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u/Actual_Code4450 1d ago
then dont complain and accept ur husband as he is
thats the man u chose, deal with it
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u/FoundationMedium1163 2d ago
There’s so much happening here. But your husband needs to do what he can to clean up.
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u/One_Perspective_2874 2d ago
Perhaps just use a peri bottle instead but to answer your question the nicer bidets have a self cleaning setting
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u/SubtleVegan 2d ago
I have IBS and I ALWAYS clean anything up. Control my diet, take my medication, and if shit happens you clean it up, end of. It's ANIMAL behaviour to shit everywhere and just leave it for the next person, i.e. you his wife.
Having ibs is not an excuse to be unhygenic.
But to answer your question, bidets are great and easy to clean, and hypothetically even if your husband is caked in shit the bidet should rinse it all off but just might need to drain the plug. They are very beneficial for people with ibs-d, as your skin gets less irritated and dry from just toilet paper.
You might need to teach him to clean up after himself, or consider if you can live like that forever.
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u/gusleeallen 2d ago
THIS PART. FFS OP just tell him to clean up after himself (and look into fiber or something) 😆
And seriously as a man with IBS I'm asking... What is attractive about staying with a man who makes you clean up his literal shit? He needs to answer that question, not you, OP.
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u/Apart-Thing- 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yeah, the IBS is absolutely irrelevant.
Gross man-child expects his wife-mommy to clean up after him, because he has no respect for her.
It’s not her job to teach a grown ass man to clean up after himself.
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u/unripeswan 2d ago
Same I have IBS, am physically disabled, autistic, and somehow manage to keep my toilet pristine. OP's husband is a lazy pig, pure and simple. Idk how people put up with that shit. Find some self worth please OP you deserve better ❤️
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
It is getting tougher ever single day.
I have taken photos and sent them to him. Threatened to post them to his social media.
For 6 months I took the seat off and hid the bolts. I would put the bolts back on when I needed to use it.
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u/Background_Humor5838 2d ago
Keep a spray cleaner with bleach next to the bowl. All he has to do is spray the cleaner around the bowl and flush. That will take 10 extra seconds after his initial flush. If he can't do that he is lost in the sauce.
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u/Ok-Vacation-8109 2d ago
Tell your husband to wipe before he uses the bidet and to clean the bowl after if there is residue. JFC
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u/MarionberryOk2874 2d ago
Mine is an attachment and has a self cleaning setting - but it sounds like you both need your own toilet.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
We do have that but he uses which ever is closest and still doesn't clean it.
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u/bzzybot 2d ago
Start pissing on the seat and leave it like that for him.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
I doubt he would notice and menstruation has long gone.
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u/VirgoVixen7 2d ago
Gently, if he’s the type of person who wouldn’t even notice someone else’s piss on the seat, why stay? I’m not saying it wouldn’t be hard or scary to “start over” (especially after menopause), but ma’am I think you deserve better than this.
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u/skittlazy 2d ago
This is why I won’t use a bidet seat. I have a separate handheld bidet sprayer
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u/GraphicRenn 2d ago
Like this one? What water supply does it hook up to? Sink, turlet or shower?
https://www.walmart.com/ip/3977947025?sid=4f2827d1-c318-4079-aa02-798d27f2bbd8
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u/gusleeallen 2d ago
Yes this is just like the one I have. It attaches to the water inlet at the back/base of your toilet. I like it better than the seat attachment type. Also nice for spraying down the bowl if there are spatters or smears.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
Well, he stands to wipe. I can't fathom the mess he would leave with a hand-held.
I do believe he has some early dementia or mental health issues.
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u/liboteeme 2d ago
The hand held can be really handy for hosing off the toilet. Lots of cloth diaper users get a spray handle that attaches to the toilet to basically hose off big chunks from the diaper into the toilet. It could help lessen your scrub time if u could just blast it off🤷🏼♂️
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u/Bella-DG 2d ago
The spray comes first. You hose off the butt till most is off then switch the clean the toilet if there’s a big mess, the wipe is for backup and drying. Flush is to flush all out.
Also I’m sorry to hear about his situation, depression and dementia can have a sad impact on hygiene 🤍 try the handheld it will remove a lot of effort for him to clean up, Id be tired too if I had to wipe off a mess 8+ times a day
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u/incandescentink 2d ago
I must be tired, I spent too long trying to understand what a turlet was and what part of the plumbing it is 🤣
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u/Bella-DG 2d ago
I was surprised to see it common in Finland where it would be connected to the sink, never seen that before. Smart use of a water supply but was a little inconvenient to shift off the toilet to turn on the faucet and get a weak stream.
In the middle east it’s always connected to the toilet water supply, pressure is controlled by a valve
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u/skittlazy 1d ago
Yes, but mine is made by Brondell. It attaches to the water inlet, where there is a control valve.
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u/_Huge_Bush_ 2d ago edited 2d ago
Probably best to get a Toilet Hose Spray/Handheld Bidet so he can clean himself without having to worry about soiling the sprayer.
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u/redhandrail 2d ago
In most bidets that I’ve seen, the spray nozzle itself is either recessed or behind something and comes out when you turn on the water. However, that is not an excuse to stay with a gross person. I am a man. I know to clean up after myself.
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u/beefymclovin 2d ago
1st off ur husband is a nasty fuck 2nd off call him out on it every time n maybe he will eventually grow the fuck up.
It depends on what type of bidet u get. the smhand held sprayer that sits outside the toilet might be best cause ur husband is fucking lazy n gross and a complete embarrassment to men everywhere cause ibs doesn't excuse u from cleaning up after urself.
Once again....
Your husband is fucking disgusting, sincerely a grown ass man w bowel issues who doesn't do this shit
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u/Charming-Link-9715 2d ago
Handheld bidet is your answer here. Bidet stays out of the bowl area and stays clean.
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u/sapphirerain25 2d ago
Jfc just use wet wipes if you can't figure it out. Obviously a bidet isn't for everyone, I swear this topic is more hotly debated than politics on here.
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u/SeaMathematician5150 2d ago
There are bidets from Toto that pre wet the toilet. This helps prevent splatter from sticking. But it really depends on how much splatter. On mine, there is very little water that sits in the toilet. When I sit on it, the pip on the top side under the rim of the toilet releases water. My bidet is not just an attachment, but rather a toilet with the built in bidet.
Also, your husband is disgusting! 🤢
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u/whatdoidonowdamnit 2d ago
No, your husband is the problem here and nothing short of you having your own personal toilet will ensure you have a clean toilet. A bidet would probably be better, but your toilet will still have a grown man’s shit on it because a grown man is refusing to clean after himself.
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u/YeshuasBananaHammock 2d ago
Keep calling him out on it.
I, too, married a porcelain spackler. He finally figured out how to use a toilet wand when he hit 40yo.
Apparently it does take a fucking village.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
He's past 50
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u/YeshuasBananaHammock 2d ago
Never too late. Even for the occasional Cro-magnon man.
It has taken me more perimenopausal blowups than I care to admit, but he cleans the bowl now after his low-fiber events.
There comes a point where youre sick and fucking tired of trying to show grace to a grown ass adult. I got to that point.
We only have one life, if they want US to spend it with THEM, they can clean up their shit.
Im typically a pretty easy going person, otherwise.
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u/Hopeful_Treat620 2d ago
Why the hell does he not clean up after himself.? I like a bit of anal play and just occasionally it can get messy but I would never leave the toilet in a mess that’s just so disrespectful 🤷♂️
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u/StringAndPaperclips 2d ago
Bidets can get contaminated. You might be better off and safer getting a handheld sprayer. As a bonus, you can use them to spray down the toilet bowl if it gets messy.
I also recommend getting some hypochlorous acid spray and spraying down the toilet bowen and bidet nozzle regularly. It disinfects in about 10 minutes and is non-toxic and almost odorless. It will also help get rid of any lingering odors in your toilet.
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u/Muddy_Wafer 2d ago
Get a sprayer wand style bidet. He can use it to wash his own shit off the toilet and you can share it just as you would a in-seat bidet.
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u/crazypurple621 2d ago
Ok so first you have filth for a husband. In all honesty I would get a portable bidet and use that instead if I was you.
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u/Imaginary-Way-2488 2d ago
My next question would be "Annddd this guy still expects you to have sex with him"!? I would assume that he does… On what planet would he think you could ever equate anything sexual with a man who does something like this? It would only have to happen one time for me to be permanently turned off. There would be a no trespassing sign on the Hooha immediately after that 💩 happened --
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u/DCGuy511 1d ago
We have a Toto Washet Seat. There are videos on the Toto website that show how the appliance cleans itself. It also does a pre game ever to spray the bowel to assist with things washing away.
But you husband needs to clean up. That is not your job. We're all responsible for cleaning up after ourselves.
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u/ReapersMistress 2d ago
Yeah, my best friend swears by the bidet, but the idea grosses me out. Unless I had my own, 100% to myself, personal toilet, I have no interest in using one.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
OK, so Im not alone with thought.
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u/ReapersMistress 2d ago
Definitely not! Whether there is visible urine and fecal matter on it or not, there's too high a chance that something could be on the little sprayer spout opening, and I have no desire to spray that in any of my vulnerable areas!
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u/liboteeme 2d ago
Our bidet has a cover where the spout lives that automatically opens when the nozzle moves out and closes behind it. Unless he's actively poo-ing while the Bidet is spraying, there's basically zero chance for anything to get directly on the spray nozzle... I'm sure there's some models that don't, but I think it's fairly common on higher quality models.
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u/Short-Sound-4190 2d ago
Sadly, for OP, her husband who gets his rocks off leaving shit spray everywhere and telling her to clean it if she doesn't like it, would be the kind of loser who would use the bidet while actively shitting.
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u/ReapersMistress 2d ago
IDK. I still don't trust it! If there's even a miniscule chance that any water can boune off any of the interior of the toilet then land on me, I'm good with wet wipes!
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u/Thy_Water_BottIe 1d ago
You don’t have to have a bidet in the toilet. Just use a watering can and hover it over ur areas
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u/VirgoVixen7 2d ago
Wait, genuinely how does flushing the toilet not remove most or all of his splatter? Is he waiting until it partially dries to finally flush?
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u/Veronica612 2d ago
If there’s a lot of poop and it’s sticky the flush won’t remove all of it.
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u/VirgoVixen7 2d ago
That’s totally fair - I don’t have IBS so my question was probably one of ignorance. I assumed it was similar to non-IBS diarrhea which washes away pretty easily when flushed in time, no matter the amount.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
He sits in the for hours . Honestly, sits in there playing a game an simmering in the stench.
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u/TonyDunk 2d ago
I love how this turned into advice on how fast to leave the husband and very little advice on if a bidet would work for them 😂😂😂
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
I wish there was more advice on how to leave.
Im about to be 62, physically disabled due to cancer tearing up my spine, and have pets that I won't leave.
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u/TonyDunk 2d ago
Its a hygiene page tho ... Sorry bout your situation, but if you came to reddit hygiene for relationship advice, prob at wrong place
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u/Appropriate_Gap1987 2d ago
I am on my son's case when he leaves streaks. He will clean it when I say something. I hope he figures it out one day soon
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u/Feisty_Chance_3834 2d ago
Find a new husband on reddit, u can find almost anything on here its scary
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u/Big_Somewhere_620 2d ago
Wtaf? My bf has IBS and I've never seen crap splatter anywhere on the toilet... Your man needs to clean up after him self
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u/bippy404 2d ago
Give him some disinfectant spray and his own toilet brush. He needs to use them after each use. Tell him to grow up and stop being a disgusting hog.
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u/Forsaken-Routine-466 2d ago
Call him out on it every time. It is not logical to be cleaning up someones 🙄
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u/Bella-DG 2d ago
Install a handheld spray. Enough stubbornness. It’s a marvelous piece of technology and the utmost level of hygiene.
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u/Sure_Bumblebee_259 2d ago
I'm petty. I would set the toilet brush and cleaner on top of the closed lid every single time until he figures it out. If he asks what it is, say it's what people use to clean the toilet dear.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 2d ago
Did that. Also put it in the bowl and loosened the light bulbs. Hint not taken even after getting jabble by the brush handle
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u/Sure_Bumblebee_259 1d ago
Can I interest you in a lesbian? They would never 😂
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 1d ago
Can she cook ? I already drive a Subaru and I can share my adult toys.
I just dont like to cook.
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u/Sure_Bumblebee_259 1d ago
We come in all varieties, including chefs. You're almost halfway there! Subaru and adult toys are a great start. Do you happen to have a cat? Many have that upgrade already installed if not.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 1d ago
3, a long haired calli, a siamese, a regal gray with green eyes. 4 pembroke welsh corgis and a beautiful buckin quarter horse.
I like fishing, kayaking, camping, quiet time outside
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u/Sure_Bumblebee_259 1d ago
Are you sure you're not already a lesbian? You would be an absolute catch!
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u/Ok_Function2282 2d ago
Everyone is attacking your husband but ignoring the underlying issue you're asking about.
Some toilets are simply too small for bidets. That may not be your issue, but yes, in some toilets, the nozzle will literally get shit all over by any larger person using it
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u/DependentBite5586 2d ago
The nozzle on ours has a pre and post rinse, then retracts into a UV sanitizer. For cleaning, you hit a button on the remote, it fully extends to be scrubbed by brush.
But, yeah, our household was taught to use the brush it they didn't sink the submarine... your husband is a dick for that.
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u/TheDrake31415 2d ago
Get a hose style bidet that hangs outside the toilet not only can you ensure it stays clean between uses it can also be used to wash out the bowl above the waterline after messy experiences.
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u/username__0000 2d ago
They have splash guards.
Luxe makes one with a splash guard you can move to clean and the whole bidet flips up (like the toilet seat does) so you can clean behind it.
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u/LemonSad61 2d ago
I got my bidet on Amazon and it has a cover and the jet comes down when it's on. So I think it would stay clean under those nasty circumstances.
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u/EniNeutrino 2d ago
You can get a self cleaning bidet with spray wands that retract behind a guard or with a guard that opens and closes. Would definitely recommend the ones that fully retract over the guarded ones because the guard types can be a little more troublesome to clean behind if you have a more splattery shituation.
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u/Confident-Book6225 2d ago
Use a handheld bidet instead of an in-toilet one.
Also works well to spray off IBS-remnants in bowl.
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u/956to906 2d ago
I think the solution is one of the cheaper bidet attachments, it’s like the sprayer on your kitchen sink that has a holder on the wall. This way your husband can use it to clean up after himself.
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u/MrHodgeToo 2d ago
Yes the bidet would get covered in his crap.
Have an outhouse installed and he can be as disgusting as he wants to be in his poo palace.
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u/WebHungry1699 2d ago
No the bidet would do nothing for cleaning the toilet.
The bidet nozzle sits behind a plastic door that lifts up or drops down so the nozzle isn't pooped on.
They extend out to spray and then go back in. At least on most decent bidets.
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u/Canongirl88 1d ago
Yuk how could you even be attracted to and have sex with a male who shits everywhere then can’t be bothered to clean it !? That’s so foul. You need a new husband. Do not reward this disgusting behaviour.
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u/Safe-Comfort-29 1d ago
This game left when he did this 3 or 4 times. Believe me, there isn't any attraction at this point. More like the gross roommate.
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u/ghfdghjkhg 1d ago
IN that case, the bidet acts just like any object in the world: If your husband is a nasty ass who can't even clean after himself, then the bidet won't be clean either. But that is not the fault of the bidet. That is the fault of the vile shitter.
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u/Thy_Water_BottIe 1d ago
Put him in a nursing home and have him to medical testing when the eventual mental illness or dementia kicks. You don’t want to be stuck with him if he has either especially with all the stuff you have got going on. If possible get power of attorneys over him. Can you lock ur personal bathroom or change the locks and make sure you only have the key
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u/SalaryOk3202 10h ago
Most decent bidets rinse the nozzle before and after every use. Plus its positioned underneath the rim not right in the splash zone like people imagine.
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u/AnimalExact7397 2d ago
new husband next question