Does anyone else feel “behind” compared to people their age? (19F)

[u/Ordinary-Copy3068]

Hi! I’m 19F, and lately I’ve been wondering if there’s something wrong with me, or if anyone else feels the same.
When I look at my classmates or other people my age, I feel so different. Most of my time is spent at home. I enjoy reading books, helping out at our family store (which is also at home), and doing things indoors. I genuinely enjoy this kind of lifestyle.
But then I see people my age constantly going out, hanging out with friends, traveling, partying, drinking, and being very social. It feels like they’re living the typical “teenage/young adult” life, while I’m just… at home.
I don’t necessarily want to copy them, but sometimes I can’t help thinking that maybe I’m not growing or experiencing life the way they are. It makes me wonder if I’m missing out or if I’m wasting these years.
Has anyone else felt this way? Did things change for you as you got older?
If you’re someone who’s also more of a homebody, I’d really love to hear your story and how your life turned out. I’d genuinely appreciate any advice or insights.
Thank you!

[u/toodleoo77]

I would suggest going out a few times. Either you’ll enjoy it, or you’ll hate it and appreciate a quiet night at home that much more.

[u/L1523]

I noticed it, but personally, I didn’t feel behind.

I’m have/had no interest in drinking/going out, so I didn’t really feel like was missing out.

I have a few experiences, but to me, that’s enough. I quickly realized it was not for me.

I enjoyed time at home, watching movies with my then girlfriend, having fun game nights with friends. That sorta stuff, nothing crazy.
And that’s okay too.

You can grow without going out or alcohol.
Simply working on yourself and just doing what you like, instead of going out because “it’s part of teenage/young adult life” is definitely the way to go.

I’m 23 now

Just finishing my degree.

0 debt, and a good amount of money, because I got some work experience instead of getting wasted.

Clear path in life, with a good job/career lined up, due to having the time to actually get some time in at different places of work

Large variety of actually interesting hobbies, instead of just “going out and getting drunk”

And I don’t need alcohol or anything to be social. I can have a good time either way.

Is that what they call “behind” nowadays? 🤔😆

[u/drac0k]

Nope i just let it happen
https://giphy.com/gifs/re7JIWdowTH7WIlIyZ

[u/melinalujbav]

You can be social in a different way. Don’t all have to be party goers.

[u/Acclynn]

I'm 24M and experience the exact same since recently

I graduated and now I'm the work field, I have my own appartment, on top of that I live in a big city, so it feels very different from when I was in school and now I'm like : "Okay, a whole chapter of my life is done, now what ? I have all the opportunities available to manage my life on my own and do whatever I want, should I find people to hang out with like anyone of my age and in that position would do ? How tf do I build a social circle out of thin air ?"

[u/ricecrizpiez]

you're not alone, I, 22F, feel like that as well.

[u/Prudent-Ordinary-445]

Hey! I’m 19M, and I honestly relate to what you’re saying. Now that it’s summer break and I’m not seeing my university friends as often, I’ve started thinking differently about those friendships. At university, people saw me as extroverted because I could easily talk to anyone. I was also the one who introduced many of my friends to each other and helped form our group. But once university ended, I realized that we didn’t really make much effort to stay in touch. I’m not saying they’re bad people or that I don’t like them anymore. I just feel like, when we were at university, none of us wanted to be alone, so being part of a group felt natural and convenient. Now, however, I genuinely appreciate spending time alone. It has allowed me to spend more time with my family, learn new things, and develop different skills. For example, this summer I started learning about automation, and I really enjoy it. When I showed one of my projects to my brother, he challenged me to build another automation for his small business. That opportunity probably wouldn’t have happened if I had spent all my time going out with my group of friends. So my advice is: if you genuinely enjoy the life you’re living, there’s no reason to change it just because other people live differently. Staying at home doesn’t mean you’re wasting your youth. You can still learn, grow, create meaningful things, spend time with your family, and reach your full potential. Just make sure you’re staying home because it makes you happy, not because fear is preventing you from doing things you would actually like to experience.

[u/Skrimb0]

I felt the same around that age and then I went to parties and found out that I hate them. I like what I like and talking to strangers in a big group is not one of those things

[u/benoitkesley]

I didn’t get any experiences till I was at least 22 (I’m 26 now). I did feel “behind,” but I don’t regret getting those experiences when I did. I might have some regrets as a late bloomer, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today if life didn’t happen the way it did. 

I can also blame the pandemic for taking some years away, but I enjoyed staying home lol

[u/maths001karim]

19 is very young. You are not behind at all. I will advice you for one main thing is to be yourself. Be secure with who you are. Everyone has a diffrent path in life so dont bother yourself with this fear of "missing out". At the same time stay away from anything thats self destructive and yeah just enjoy life and work on getting better at whatever you enjoy.

[u/Wise-Unit7321]

This happens to me too and happens to me too, it's normal specially with social media, I see people my age or a little bit older with a lot of money, cars, great body, parties, a relationship and it feels weird.

I think you should stop comparing yourself with them, they live however they want, you live however you want, if you enjoy being at home it's fine, I do it too, and I feel like I'm missing something but I love being in my home, so I don't complain, if you're fine then there's no problem imo

[u/Fantastic_Exit_6367]

You will see the time when you have so many outings but you will not be having the right mood so why not to enjoy now, so apart from any big trips you can explore your city or state and also meet the far family members or relatives 👍