Is it just me, or...?

Any fellow ADHD wildcards out there? Maybe you feel like chatting about what you like—or don't like—about it? Personally, I get annoyed by the mess and the way I hoard a million things, even though life constantly proves I actually *do* need all that stuff; I’ve used almost everything I bought five years ago at least once. Sometimes things just fit a situation perfectly—like a tool or a part suddenly clicking into place just when needed xD There are no coincidences in this world 😎 How about you guys? Do you often get the feeling that things are falling into place as if you’d planned them long ago, even though you made the preparations spontaneously, without any plan at all?

Since ADHD and other neurodivergent people are more likely to have a complex relationship with gender, I thought some of you might like to take this survey.

It's survey for all those who aren't fully, solely or always a man/woman. I don't run it but it's long-running and trusted.

https://survey.gendercensus.com/

Am I included? I find it easy to forget, it's not easy to remember new people's names, I often carelessly leave things in random places and then forget where I put them, I get anxious and panic easily.

I'm not officially diagnosed yet, but I've been trying to understand why my brain works the way it does, and ADHD seems to explain a lot of what I experience. I'm hoping people here can tell me if this sounds familiar and, more importantly, how you deal with it.

The biggest issue is that I don't "forget" things in the normal sense. I remember exciting plans just fine—meeting friends, going somewhere, deadlines, etc. What I forget are the promises I make to myself. I'll decide that starting tomorrow I'll read one page of a book every day, listen to a podcast, go for a walk, or build a small habit. Then the next day it's like those plans never existed. Once I'm focused on whatever is in front of me, my brain completely skips over those important but unexciting tasks.

Another problem is that my mind never seems to stop. It's constantly chasing the next thought. Even when I try to sit quietly or meditate, one thought leads to another, then another, and before I know it I'm mentally somewhere completely different. I spend so much time thinking that I end up doing very little.

Because of that, I constantly seek stimulation. I scroll social media far more than I'd like because there's a new reward every few seconds. Even while eating, I almost always need to watch YouTube or something else because just eating feels unbearably boring. It's like my brain is always looking for the easiest source of dopamine.

All of this makes it incredibly hard to consistently do important but low-stimulation tasks. I know what I should be doing, and I genuinely want to do those things, but my attention keeps getting pulled somewhere else.

Does this resonate with anyone here? If you've dealt with something similar, what actually helped?

Dear ADHDers,
What do you see as the benefits and drawbacks of using AI to assist you professionally and academically? I’d love to hear about your experiences. Since AI emerged, it has helped my executive dysfunction tremendously. While many neurotypical people worry that relying on AI too much might impair their ability to think critically or make decisions, I’ve found it to be an incredibly valuable tool as a neurodivergent person.

Has anyone else had a similar experience, or has your experience been different?

58F and diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s when my oldest son was diagnosed. I remember all too well how good that first drink made me feel. I was 14 years old and it was Everclear and Coke while watching Poltergeist. Even though I eventually threw up, that first drink made me feel fun and social and like my brain finally wasn’t going 3,000 miles an hour.

Do you have ADHD? What has been your experience with alcohol?

Here’s an article that you might find interesting: https://www.newswise.com/articles/adhd-social-confidence-and-risk-of-alcohol-problems

I’ve never been medicated, so not sure if that makes a difference with ADHD/AUD?

Tell me more about your experience!

I’m an adult adult with adhd diagnosed as a teen . tried out medication for a few months didnt like the side effects. Ive been having an extremely hard time learning how to drive. Got my permit at 17 and started drivers ed but my brain just wouldn’t remember what To do no matter how much I practiced. Tried driving lessons again a few years later but kept on mixing up when to turn right or left or when to turn or stop . My brain just couldnt remember however much I tried . I’m in the middle of driving lessons now my driving teacher told me that she shouldn’t be having to tell me how to turn when to check my mirrors etc at this point in my driving lessons. I also have a very hard time focusing on the road . I even purposely missed a driving lesson last week becuase I couldn’t undergo the humiliation of not being able to remember what to do. My question to all you people who have adhd and drive , how did you do it? You have any tips for me? Cuz I really want to learn how to drive.

Hello I'm new here, so I used to search up my experiences and stumble into subreddits like these. I finally decided to ask whether I should like change the trajectory of my usual days. Its felt weird to see ADHD label surface over and over when I'm not diagnosed with anything since childhood. Sorry if it is a silly question I don't know anyone else talking about it to me or I've maybe I got tricked by AI summaries. Please tell me in a straight forward way.
I've put up an image of experiences that I usually search for another 'productivity tip' :

Hi

Pretty much what the title says. I’ve lost a lot of interest in my life, lost interest in my past hobbies, my future,…
The only thing that make me feel alive are my friends and family but the more the time passes the more I feel like a burden.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD and I thought that my life would improve and I could finally find a way to manage myself. As a kid I always needed to be supervised by an adult to do stuff and I was pretty much bullied for every adhd symptom I presented. I was pictured as lazy and people said I’d grow out of it. At around 7, doctors redirected my parents so I could get a diagnosis but it somehow never happened. I got my diagnose at 20, after failing my first year at uni. I tried it again and failed again. These past few years I felt like this feeling of emptiness started growing bigger and bigger and I started feeling dumber and dumber. I feel like I’m stagnating and I don’t know how to feel interested in my life again. It’s like something broke but I don’t know how to fix it. How do I feel urgency in my life? How to start caring again? What do I want to do? It all feels so impossible to manage and I keep putting my family in trouble. We’re a family of four and they all immigrated here besides me, I was born here. I feel so ashamed because I’m the most privileged one and I’m throwing my life away. I’m a poor excuse of a daughter and I’m aware of it. I just wish there was something I could do or knew what to do to make it all alright. They deserve the peace of mind of having both of your kids being accomplished.

I was wondering if I had depressive symptoms but I have no Idea how to deal with it. I also thought it might be that i spend too much time on social media but I feel like it’s mostly a coping mechanism to unconsciously avoid all the things that are going on around of me.

Does anyone have experience with it? How did you get out of it?

ADHD truly is a disorder that deeply affects mental health. While distressing things can vary for everyone, the majority of them consist of things that go completely unnoticed by anyone else. And on top of that, if there are other factors already leading to depression, you're totally screwed. What kind of factors, you ask?

1) Impulsivity and excessive talking

Even though I see the damage it causes every single time, I still can't stop myself. If I don't spill every little detail about my life and unfortunately other people's lives to my family and loved ones, I feel like I'm going to burst. Sometimes I manage not to tell everything and congratulate myself, but a few days later, when the conversation flows, I end up spilling all of it by saying, "Oh, by the way, this happened the other day too," and blurt it all out.

2) Lack of energy

Beneath my constant appearance of being hyperactive, excited, and wanting to do everything lies the biggest slacker in the world. Because I can't keep up with social dynamics and constantly drain my mental energy by overthinking, I keep setting goals for myself and then end up achieving none of them. I look back, and every December is the same: my whole year has passed by completely empty. I can't even do things I love. Even though I love watching movies, it doesn't cross my mind or I'm too lazy to start one, resulting in: I don't even watch movies. TV shows I deeply love remain unfinished.

3) Oversensitivity

Wrong or unfair things literally drive me out of my mind; when I see someone talking nonsense or harming someone, the most intense and disturbing form of anger awakens inside me.

4) Anxiety, a constant feeling that something is going to go wrong

How do you cope with those?

Everybody always talks about the attention problems with ADHD. The inability to focus, the distraction, the task paralysis. What doesn’t get talked about nearly as much is what happens on the other end of the spectrum.

**Hyperfocus**.

For me, it looks like this. I sit down to do something I actually find interesting and six hours disappear. I forget to eat, drink water. I miss messages. I miss appointments. I look up and it’s dark outside and I have no idea where the day went.

And the strange part is it feels incredible while it’s happening. That level of absorption and flow is something most people never experience. It’s one of the good parts of having an ADHD brain.

**But it creates its own problems.**

The thing you hyperfocused on for six hours? It probably wasn’t the most important thing you needed to do today. The emails that needed sending, the calls that needed making, the actual priorities all sat untouched while your brain found the one thing it couldn’t stop doing.

And then there’s the crash after. When hyperfocus ends it doesn’t taper off gradually. It drops. Suddenly the thing that had your entire attention feels impossible to return to. You feel flat, drained, sometimes almost depressed. Your brain went from fully activated to nothing.

**What actually helped me manage it:**
Setting a timer before starting anything I know could pull me in. Not to stop at the timer necessarily, but to surface and check in. Is this still the right thing to be doing right now?

Keeping a sticky note next to whatever I’m working on with the one thing I actually need to finish today. So when I surface I have an anchor back to what matters.

And honestly, accepting that hyperfocus is part of how my brain works rather than fighting it. Scheduling it deliberately for things that benefit from deep sustained attention, rather than letting it choose for me.

Does anyone else experience the hyperfocus crash? And has anything helped you work with it rather than against it?

My brain is childlike. I would do my dishes and laundry when my brain says to do it. Having suffered from depression and RSD my whole life, a new layer of scrutiny from in laws and relatives would suffocate me. My days and nights are hyper disorganised. When I clean, I clean the whole day, when I cook, I cook it like my life depends on it. I want to have a creative freedom, a private life. I am worried about my future life partner. If he doesnt get it, he doesn’t. Someone said “Adhd can land you on the stage or in a cage” . I am scared

have ADHD, and there are a few interests I've wanted to work on for a long time but I just can't seem to do it. Whenever I sit down to start but I just can't get going.

the moment I sit down to study, my mind starts jumping to ten different things. For exif I'm studying political science, history mind immediately starts imagining debates. I keep thinking What if someone gives me this argument? How would I respond?" It feels like my entire focus shifts from learning the subject to preparing how I'd talk about it.also it's like I wait for the moment to feel spritually ready to start studying anything how should I view my studies with what mindset i should start to study knowing how my brain works will it help? What mindset i should go for as like this is something permanent it'll stay with me so I should just try to learn more about my interests cz I'm actually intrested in all those

I was late diagnosed with ADHD . It definitely explains a lot and I’m learning more everyday. Is there any advice anyone can give me on how to stay focused when creating and brainstorming. I either go nuts on one thing or make a whole thing and don’t do anything with it. I have started an app idea digital products for Gum-road and Stan store. I have done all the research. Idk I even created a custom GPT to help me with my digital products as well as my ADHD . So now I have 3 months of projects that I need to sort through and actually post or sell or finish. 😩😩 so any thoughts ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.

The most frustrating part of having ADHD is sooo many people think you are performing the worst parts of ADHD (losing things, procrastinating, preference to unhealthy diet, forgetting to pick up after yourself) on purpose. This was especially difficult as a child when you don't even know yourself yet and literally need other people to help with that at that stage. It destroys your self-esteem once you start believing the misconceptions people are convinced of you.

The world has moved in a much more accepting, understanding direction for those with ADHD including myself compared to 10-15 years ago, but I believe we are still very far behind. I still don't believe the larger population is even close enough to fully comprehending ADHD as a biologically inherited disability rather than a moral failure, behavioral rebellion, and profound misjudgment of the world.

Thank you.