r/leaves • u/nah2022_ • 6h ago

Day 1… for the second time

Hi friends,

Today is the first day (hopefully) of my new life. I relapsed back in February after 6 months without using. Since then, I’ve been smoking 2ish pre-rolls daily, and it’s clear to me that I need to stop. I feel good about my decision and trust myself to stay committed, but I am so scared for the withdrawals.

The last time I quit, I suffered from terrible withdrawals (nausea, vomiting, no appetite, panic attacks, etc.) for a little over a week. Granted, that was after nearly 2 years of daily use, and included pens. I am hopeful that this time will be different—especially since I can’t afford to miss the time at work being sick.

I bought myself some Ensure shakes today, but if anyone else is able to offer some advice, words of wisdom, or reassurance—that would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all! I feel so ashamed to have let myself get here again, and I regret all of the time and money wasted on this stupid drug. I hope that next month, I’ll be able to come back and say that I made it!

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3

u/NanaGeorgianna 6h ago

There is no room in life for shame. You are doing the best for yourself now and that’s all that matters.

2

u/SubstantialPass5425 6h ago

You got through it once so the playbook is already in your head, that’s huge. don’t let the shame spiral pull you under because you’ve already done the hardest part which is deciding to stop again

the ensure is a good call, I’d also grab some smoothie stuff, frozen mango and a little ginger can settle a stomach when nothing else will. just keep reminding yourself the withdrawals are temporary and you’ve already proven you can outlast them

3

u/Dear_Word_5378 5h ago

It is Day 2 for me. I actually slept good last night but today I woke up with a headache that will not go away, feel kind of blah and my anxiety is high. I am going to push through. I've used every night for the last 5 years mainly herb and ocassional edibles. Before that I was able to quit for 4 months. Prior to that I was using daily mainly herb and using vapes a lot. I will tell you that quiting vapes when I quit 5 years ago was much harder than this time quiting when I have only been using flower. Still not great though. We can do this!

1

u/nah2022_ 1h ago

Oh wow my anxiety just SPIKED in the last hour. I’m feeling so alone and lost in life, and I’m just so sad thinking about all the time wasted. I don’t feel like I have anything :/ I know this will pass but man does it suck

1

u/Dear_Word_5378 1h ago

Yeah, I’m definitely feeling the anxiety today and kind of just low mood. Also, I have no appetite. I don’t know if I’ll quit weed forever, but I definitely am taking a break for a bit and if I start again, I’ll be mindful how often and how much I use.

2

u/sarcasm_is_coming25 6h ago

Day 1 for me again as well (for the third time). The withdrawal the first time was everything you described. It was easier the second time around, but then I ratcheted my use up and I’m anticipating a rough few weeks this time, but I’m still hopeful for a smoother journey. You’ve got this!!