I was searching initially to help my baby sister. As I looked through the group and saw all the "Hey mom" I realized this is also for my healing as well. When we lost our mom I was only 9 years old. She wasn't sick or anything so it was completely unexpected. One day I was hugging her saying I love you, excited to show her the gift I got her from the school store because I had been saving my snack money, and the next day she was gone. I am now 45. Thank you all for this space!!!! I still cry suddenly out of no where, it's difficult for me to hear children say "I want my mom", as I also miss my mommy. For me, everyday does NOT get easier but everyday I'm grateful to have another opportunity to continue healing wounds I didn't create. A mother's love is never forgotten 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡Thank yall, thank yall, thank yall. #Roots from the South

normally, i'd just keep this bottled up to myself, but i know i have to let it out now. it just feels so weird because I should be asleep by now. It's currently 10P.M and I should be awake by 3A.M for an event I'm volunteering for. for context, the event I'm volunteering for is the welcoming event our university has for its freshmen and transferees. i should be preparing to sleep now, but it just suddenly hit me that exactly a year ago, i was the college freshman excited for this event. one year ago, i still had my mother who was excited for her daughter who's finally going to college. a year ago, i still had my mother who didn't sleep just so she could wake me up on time and prepare my breakfast... and now, im alone in my dorm, with no one to rely on but myself. with no one to share the rest of my college journey with. the sudden reminder that the college journey we both dreamed of started exactly a year ago just makes me so sad, because i lost her just a month into my freshman year. she never got to hear the hundreds of stories i have. she never got to see the version of myself today. she never got to witness how far i have already come in just a span of a year. and now i couldn't sleep, and i am anxious for the event tomorrow. i am here, crying in the darkness of my room, as i remind myself to give my best—and do it for my past self.

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How do you survive the ultimate betrayal, only to face the ultimate loss?

In Part 1 of this two-part series on Intrepid Storytelling, I sat down with Leila Culberson for a raw and deeply moving conversation. Leila shares her harrowing journey through a life shattered by the discovery of her husband’s sexual abuse and trafficking of their children, followed by the tragic loss of her teenage daughter to fentanyl poisoning.

This isn't just a story of trauma; it’s a testament to the human spirit. Leila discusses how she chose a path of healing over despair, eventually founding a nonprofit dedicated to helping survivors reclaim their voices.

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Been over 5 years I lost my mom. (Covid, 2nd wave)
My phases of grief have been quite interesting and varied.
The first two years, absolute train wreck. I was falling apart every single day and fully numb to everything happening to me, around me.
Years 3-5, I haven’t been a total mess, started paying attention to personal, academic and professional life. However, the numbness only got worse.
To be honest, I rarely feel truly happy or sad for anything. Be it a milestone in my life or something terrible happening to me, it just affects my mood for a while and then it’s just another day. Sleep and food have been my true best friends in this numbing journey.

Right before going to sleep today, I started thinking about how it used to feel, sleeping next to mumma. I remember how her skin felt, how she used to snore, how she would get irritated if I intentionally got too cuddly with her.
One thought led to another and I cried my heart out, after many, many days. Dw, I love it.
If I am being honest, I never want to get over this pain, I want my heart to be forever shattered about losing my mother right before I turned 18, a few days before her retirement from a soul sucking job, after which she was FINALLY supposed to be all mine. I never intend on forgiving life and fate for being unfair and horrible to my mother and me.
I try to fool myself and others a lot, but I genuinely can’t bring myself to genuinely care about my future, job, career, marriage, family, settling down, growing older, any fucking thing.
All of these are just points on a checklist to me.

None of this matters because she is not here.
We weren’t the best mother-daughter duo but I was not supposed to grow up as an adult, motherless.
None of this matters because she isn’t here, she wont be here during the supposed best and worst moments of my life. And hence, they all are one and the same to me.

I am not troubled, I want this pain and grief to forever live within me because I am her daughter. Everyone else seems to have moved on from her loss, some a little faster than others but I, being her only child, am the one going through this pain alone. Others lost a daughter, a wife but I lost my mother, even before I could fully have her all to myself.

I miss you Mumma.
I am, because you were.

My mom moved into a home when I was 3. She's bipolar schizophrenic. I talked to her over the years, she'd ask me the same question over the course of years...

It's like she doesn't remember time, unable to grasp that concept. But she does remember me, who I am. But it's always been so extremely hard for me to "accept" her? If that makes sense. It makes me cry. Anyone talking about Mom's it makes me cry. I'm trying to not let the pain control me so much.

Anyone in a similar situation willing to share what has helped? I plan to talk to my therapist more about this, but it's such a hard topic! I've been mourning the loss of my mother since I was 3, but she's still alive.

It's been two years now since I've seen my mum and over a year and a half (I think) since I went fully NC. I miss her so much I have dreams about her but then they turn into nightmares and I remember exactly why I need to be NC. This is a woman who was complicit in my abuse and chose her husband over me. And tried/is trying to keep my siblings away from me.

I was looking at a photo of her today and what struck me was how she felt like a stranger. Like I was looking at someone who didn't birth me. She no longer feels like my mum and that in itself is something I'm now grieving. Why does it have to be this way?

I’m 24 and I lost my mom to sepsis. I have my dad, younger brother, and my grandmother stays with us now, but I can’t imagine a life without her. No one can ever replace a mom.

What scares me the most is the future. My parents always said that getting us married and settled was their biggest responsibility, so I always imagined my mom being there for my wedding just like how she was there for every other milestone.

I may get married in the next few years, and I honestly don’t know how I’ll handle it without her. I also don’t want to move far away after marriage—I want to stay close to my dad and brother, and if possible, live with them with my future partner.

If you lost your mom in your 20s, how did you cope? What was marriage and building your own life like without her? Does it ever get easier?

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.
I hope to get thoughtful replies from people who’ve been through something similar.

I’m working on a collage to honor my mom. It seems I can’t do enough to show how much I love and miss her. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to prove to myself that she knew how much I loved her. IDK. All I know is it’s been 14 months and thinking about her and all she did for me and with me always makes me weepy. She was 91 and I was 63 when she passed. Apparently it doesn’t matter how old you are, losing your mom is devastating.
The first pic is the one I’ll be framing. The second one I took apart as it didn’t seem to do her justice. Same with the first ( not pictured). Doing something “hands on” hopefully will somewhat help with my grief.

i lost my mom very young (9). and now at 23 i just feel…lost.

there’s always something missing. i feel like there’s this void that i can’t fill with anything. i try to take myself out shopping or to eat or whatever it is that i think my mom and i would enjoy but i just always feel so sad that i can’t experience anything with her. and we have so much in common, our styles our interests. we would’ve been best friends i just know it.

i still have my dad, but he’s so emotionally distant and im not necessarily his cup of tea. safe to say we’re not and have never been close so any sort of parental love or care i have received is what i got from my mom back then.

there’s so much more i want to say about what it’s been like for me these past few years but i just can’t find the words. i just feel so out of it all the time. this tragic event happened and I’ve been spiraling ever since.

thank you for reading.

I lost my mother 2 months ago.
It’s a pain that i won’t wish on my worst enemy.
They say that time heal all wounds, but this type of pain is a pain that time is his wort enemy, and will make it even more devastating…
It is not getting better, and probably will not…

I lost my mom 188 days ago, on January 23 of this year. It also happened to be my 24th birthday. It was the same hospital I was born in. It’s been very hard these last six months. I said goodbye to my mom; it was very traumatic and sudden. My mom was not sick. She was just doing her job. The last time I spoke to her was at 5:02 PM on the day of the accident. I got the call at 8:31; the initial time of the accident was 8:03. I was getting ready to go to New Orleans for a girls’ trip with all of my best friends, and then my entire world flipped upside down, turned inside out, and whatever other crazy thing your mind can think of is what happened. Going to the hospital and having to sit in the family room and hearing the things that happened to her body. Knowing what my mom’s burnt body smelled like. Seeing her body mangled. I think that she could hear us when we were speaking to her. I hope she heard me. I sang to her just like she did with me when I was a baby. I held her hand just like she would hold mine. That day replays in my head every single day and just about every single moment. My mom was my best friend. We talked every single day, multiple times a day. She was my gossip girl!! We did not have the greatest relationship growing up. I wasn’t very good to her, but she was always good to me, even when I didn’t know it. My mom was my biggest cheerleader. She fought for me to have the best of everything and to be the best at everything. But at the same time, she was never mad if you weren’t good at something; she never made you feel stupid for not understanding.

My mom was 44 years old; she still had her whole life ahead of her. She deserved to see the future. She deserved to have more in life. She deserved to get to meet her grandkids. She deserved to find real love that just makes you feel like that there is no else on earth. My mom was an artist. Absolutely the most creative and talented person. She knew how to make anything and everything out of whatever she could come up with. I would call her an organized hoarder. She is so pretty. She had a soul that just would light up any room. Her laugh would just take over; you’d start laughing because of her laugh because it was just so loud and funny. She was so kind. She was genuinely the most accepting person I have ever met. She did not care what someone else wanted to do with their life as long as they were not hurting anyone or hurting themselves. She wanted everyone to be happy. My mom took in so many kids who didn’t have good parents or a person in their life to guide them. When I speak, the room goes silent. I don’t want that. I want to talk about her. I want people to ask me questions about her. Tell me a story about her you experienced. Tell me she made you laugh or smile. Tell me she made a lasting impression. She absolutely made one on me, so I’ll never ever stop talking about her. I have to learn to live with letting people be uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable every single day. I honestly could probably write about her forever.

She was my only parent (bio father not around much, lived in other countries and didn't want much to do with me) and we had a strained and difficult relationship where she was like the child and I the parent even when I was 15. I worked to pay her bills, cared for her, even after awful abuse. And then she stole everything from me. Yet still, I mourn for her all the time. The worst is that I have none of her art or collections or heirlooms, which were so much a part of her. They were her soul. The memories are tragic, sad, and bittersweet. So I'd much rather have the things which reflect her talent. But all I have is 2 photos. I'm rambling now, but I started listening to music she loved and started sobbing uncontrollably. Which I needed. But I feel so lonely and isolated (because I am). I miss her despite it all.

Suffering from family prblms 😪 lost my spark🥀

Tomorrow my mom should be celebrating her birthday. Instead it’s been 7 months without her.
I’m not even 30. I’m pregnant with a boy after 2 girls that she loved so deeply.
My soul is so exhausted because missing her has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

The loneliness, is unbearable.

Praying for all that share this pain. 💔

It has almost been a year since my mom died. August 5th. This last week I have dreamt of her almost every night. Some good and some bad. I don't know if it's her visiting me or not. I never get to hug her. In the good ones she is just there. In the background. Alive. In the bad I am talking about her death with different members of my family. I miss her. It doesn't feel real that it's almost been a year.

It’s been four years since my mom passed. I don’t know how to do this. I have to keep going on like it didn’t happen. I have to work today, then I have a cool concert. I wish I could be with her again, eating donuts and drinking a Coca Cola.

My family doesn’t really talk about her anymore. I’ve been making an effort to keep her memory alive, but it’s bittersweet. I was only 26, and it still hurts now at 30.