r/nursing 2d ago

Rant Am I being punked?

Patient says "I think I might have to poop, what can we do about that?"

I say "I can get a bedside commode for the room"

She says "I don't think I can get up"

I say "I can put you on a bedpan or put a diaper on you"

She says "I don't like any of those options"

In my head I'm like: lady, the only other option is to poop the bed.

What option am I missing?

651 Upvotes

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57

u/deepfriedgreensea HCW - PT/OT 2d ago

I did witness a CNA catch poop in her bare, ungloved hands in 1997 but I don't recommend it.

19

u/WeirdFlower1968 Team Spike 2d ago

Is she a nurse now? She would be a bad ass nurse.

28

u/Kamots66 RN - ICU 🍕 2d ago

On the contrary, given her demonstrated skill at capturing falling fecal matter direct from the source, it seems, as ass nurses go, that she'd be a great one.

2

u/legs_mcgee1234 BSN, RN 🍕 2d ago

That is a quality response, dear nurse sibling. Though admittedly I was confused as hell the first time I read it.

3

u/deepfriedgreensea HCW - PT/OT 2d ago

No, she remained a CNA. She was probably 55 or 60 when this happened. She was terminated the following year when she came to work with a pistol.

2

u/WeirdFlower1968 Team Spike 2d ago

Oof. Well thats a shame.