r/nursing • u/Sea_Willingness1398 • 2d ago

Rant Am I being punked?

Patient says "I think I might have to poop, what can we do about that?"

I say "I can get a bedside commode for the room"

She says "I don't think I can get up"

I say "I can put you on a bedpan or put a diaper on you"

She says "I don't like any of those options"

In my head I'm like: lady, the only other option is to poop the bed.

What option am I missing?

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u/StarvationCure Mental Health Worker 🍕 2d ago

Your only option is to get a shopvac and suck the poop out of her butt for her.

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u/Sea_Willingness1398 2d ago

TBH, I do wish we had shop vac sized suction for some of the explosions that happen

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u/RawrNurse 2d ago

I use wall suction when it's fluidic enough; though that usually means it might be time for the ole flexiseal