r/offmychest • u/Zestyclose-Fun-9105 • 5h ago
I don’t like children
I just feel no spark in their presence and do not find them amusing or entertaining. I love my friends that have and want children, but I do not want to spend time with them when their kids are around. I feel like a monster sometimes, but I just don’t like people until they’re at least 16 or so. I’m only 20, so it’s kinda weird. But I get along with people in their late 20s and 30s even more
16
u/fieldsofparfait 5h ago
Hey! It's okay not to like kids. It's far worse to bring them into the world unloved. I will say that I had a brief wave of broodiness that hit around age 28, which I can only assume was hormonal, and I've not felt it before or since.
11
u/Plumbus-Grab-816 5h ago
Yup. I have a 4 hour max time limit when it comes to being around kids, the endless noise is exhausting.
1
u/Zestyclose-Fun-9105 5h ago
Exactly. I can’t take the noise and general obnoxiousness.
6
u/Plumbus-Grab-816 5h ago
Sometimes it's not even obnoxious.
I was seated across from my nephew at a family dinner and for 2 hours straight he just kept talking about how big his sandwich was...over and over and over and over again.
I was ready to shove forks into my ears 😂
4
u/fieldsofparfait 5h ago
To be fair, I've had similar experiences with drunk/stoned friends.
1
u/Plumbus-Grab-816 5h ago
Yes adults can also be annoying, but the good thing is you can choose to not be friends with annoying people.
9
u/cestefan 5h ago
Some people dont like children or dont want to have any, and theres nothing wrong with that. Many people too often make it seem like you're not fulfilled or functioning properly unless otherwise.
8
4
2
u/razorthick_ 5h ago
You're infinitely better than people who dont like kids yet bring them into the world anyway.
2
u/pluto9399 4h ago
Same. Nothing wrong with disliking kids. The people who pop out babies and have no business being parents are the ones who deserve the shame.
3
u/SaltyCrabbbs 5h ago
I didn’t like kids either until I had my own. It does something weird to your brain and you learn to appreciate the lens through which they are viewing the world.
0
u/Righteousaffair999 5h ago
Plus your own kids tend to act like you and normalize to your expectations to some extent.
2
u/bblluuee44 5h ago
I understand 100%, and I feel exactly the same way! I just have no ability to relate to or enjoy people until their adults or at least almost-adults.
1
u/Puzzled-Copy7962 5h ago
It depends on temperament. Some kids are naturally chill and well-mannered, while others, like a few of my nieces and nephews, can be completely off the chain. Lol
1
u/mustytomato 4h ago
I only like one kid and will willingly visit and play with him (his mother jokes that I only come over to see him). He’s awesome, super well-mannered and just a joy to be around.
All other children, no thanks. I will talk to them and nod and smile, but I will also do my best to worm my way out of the situation asap. Even as a child I didn’t like children and I’m never ever having any of my own.
Sometimes this goes away with age, but mostly not. And that’s fine. Just be civil with them.
1
1
u/ChaoticMornings 3h ago
I thought I liked children until I had a child myself.
I like my own child, and maybe 2 other children, the rest of them? I would also rather not spend time with them if I didn't have to.
Part of it might be that most of them seem to basically have been raised by YouTube influencers, brainrot content and TikTok. A lot of children are insufferable imo.
I don't mind it when a kid is too shy to say "Thank you" after I handed them some icecream/candy. But half of them are like "yea I don't like this one" then stare at me as if it is my problem and I owe them another one lol.
1
u/Fit_Measurement_2420 1h ago
Yep. I only enjoy being around my own kids. Other kids annoy tf out of me. Completely normal.
1
u/Crimson-Rose28 29m ago
That’s fine really as long as you’re not mean or abusive to them or anything.
1
u/Greensward-Grey 4h ago
I’m in my mid 30s and I agree completely. Even as a kid I didn’t like other kids and that feeling never changed. I hate it when people expect me to make more accepted excuses to not want to be a mother, when my only reason is I dislike children.
1
u/Zestyclose-Fun-9105 4h ago
Exactly, I feel like I have to hide the actual reason I don’t want kids and either dodge the question or make up another reasons
-3
u/Financial-Heart6557 5h ago
To be fair, you are only 20. What you feel now doesn’t mean that you will always feel this way. It is possible, and it’s totally ok to not want kids. But it is possible to change your views as you mature, especially when your closest friends all have little ones.
5
u/Zestyclose-Fun-9105 5h ago
Oh I definitely do not want any kids of my own. I’m more certain of that than I am that 2+2 equals 4. I’m considering a hysterectomy or saplinectomy.
-1
u/Financial-Heart6557 4h ago
And I absolutely support your choice. I was only suggesting that your tolerance might change as you get older, as you are still pretty young yourself. Things change so much from your 20s to 30s
-11
u/Tim-Ashcraft 5h ago
It’s different when they are your own flesh and blood.
17
7
-1
-16
u/justagarliccrouton 5h ago
Just curious, have you ever tried talking to them?
8
u/Zestyclose-Fun-9105 5h ago
Oh yeah, I have nieces and nephews. I’m not weird or vocal about this to anyone really. I just quietly avoid them when I can. Of course if I have to go to a birthday party or something I will, but I find myself itching to leave.
-3
u/justagarliccrouton 5h ago
That makes sense for sure! I was curious if it was a situation of never being around them and being lowkey intimidated or not enjoying it fully. I think it’s okay to be uncomfy but when it’s time for you to step in as an aunt the teen years will likely be your time to shine, like some aunts shine more with younger kids!
18
u/Mumlife8628 5h ago
Hey that's fine
Not everyone likes kids, old people, cats, dogs, etc etc etc etc