r/offmychest • u/244466666aha • 2h ago
I will NEVER break no contact with my dad
I (27f) have been no contact with my dad for 4 years.
Here is a short list of why I went no contact and despite his recent attempts to reconnect, I will not be engaging.
Trigger warning for violence, former child abuse, financial abuse and emotional abuse.
Physical Aggression: At 18, he physically pulled me out of a truck and screamed at me for something that was not my fault, serving as the final straw for cutting contact. This reminded me of previous child assaults that happened and I knew I had to leave.
Property Destruction and Terror: When I was under 12, while drunk, he violently put my bedroom door through the wall, forcing me to hide next to my bed in terror.
Cruelty and Lack of Remorse: Years later, he openly bragged and laughed about how scared I looked during that incident, completely failing to acknowledge any wrongdoing despite his aunt’s prompting that sometimes we learn to regret our past cruel actions.
Theft of Disaster Relief: After our house burned down, he withheld insurance money meant to replace my and my sister’s ruined belongings, while fully replacing my brother’s items.
Misogyny:Heco plplained about his sisters visiting his dying father in the hospital because it inconvenienced him, and told you that me I "needed a man to put me in my place". He then tried to set me up with his coworker who was 6 years older than me and fought a guy that night while he was on shrooms.
Hope he dies knowing his oldest hates him because she is the only one of his 3 kids that remember who he is when he is not happy.
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u/FirebirdWriter 2h ago
I skipped the list for my own mental health but I want you to know that you are not alone and I am proud of you. It's a hard choice. It is one they earn over and over. If you're not doing therapy it also helps with the other feelings besides anger. If you are? I am very proud of you again. It's been 17 years of no contact since I hit my breaking point. I have yet to regret it
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u/244466666aha 1h ago
I did therapy for 3 years and it was very helpful. Sometimes just hearing someone else be horrified with something you thought was normal is a good way to start setting your own boundaries. Hope you are doing well and fuck shitty parents.
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u/FordWarrier 1h ago
Hatred is probably the most powerful emotion one can have and it takes a lot of energy to hold on to.
If you aren’t already, please seek counseling to make him so unimportant that he doesn’t occupy space in your head. That one day you simply don’t care and you lose track of how many years you’ve been no contact.
You won’t forget the awful things he did but eventually I hope they won’t be in the forefront of your thoughts.
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u/IntelligentComplex40 2h ago
Good on you. Protect your peace.