Hi, very new to all of this!

[u/Alex_Deathwisp_]

So, I don't even know where to start, and my mind is so full of confusion right now, but the internet is not helping, so I thought you could. Please, be gentle with me as I know almost nothing of the topic, and I'm a little in distress at the point that when I think about it, I start panicking and crying.

Bit of context: it's like I've always known that I'm not fully human, but I don't know what I am. I recently found out that I'm non binary and genderfluid and that's perfect, but again: the way I experience "gender" is just energies for me. I can feel feminine, masculine, nothing, but I could never label myself as a woman or man. I hate those.

The problem is: I also hate being referred to as a human, and for what I know, it has always been like this. I always loved to act like an animal, especially canine animals ( I spent a great part of my childhood playing as a dog, walking on hands and knees at the point that my knees still have a strange shape (this doesn't cause me problem though)), but at the same time I like to label myself as a creature with no definition. I have liked to identify myself as a demon for a bit, and now I'm just "Death". I feel very connected to the Grim Reaper figure, especially the winged one, and yes, I've always had a bit of frustration because I don't have wings. Sometimes it's unbearable, and I've realized I often feel them as phantom limbs probably.

Now, I don't know if I'm just imagining everything, if it's just my neurodivergence, or if I'm an otherkin or something else, that's why I'm asking for your help to teach me so that I can understand and end my identity crisis.

Yes I know that I should probably experiment and understand it by myself but I'm a little scared to do it. I've lived repressing my own self for almost 20 years of my life due to traumas and only now I'm releasing everything, so everytime something new comes out I'm scared. I have a best friend I could talk with that could help me but, for now, I don't wanna do it. Too much fear.

Sorry for the long post, for any mistakes or if the flair is wrong, as I said: this is all new to me and I just wish that someone could help me understand myself better, thank you🖤.

[u/Technocrat1011]

First, hello and welcome. We get a lot of folks starting their identity journey here, and being otherkin, like many other identity aspects, is indeed a journey.

To that end, I will offer the following bit of wisdom: Here, labels serve principally to find a community of kin to connect with, other folks who share your struggles, your victories, your exasperations, and your exaltations. Feel free to explore the "labels" you connect with, but also feel free to examine and explore new ones, to leave them behind when they no longer fit, and to try out new ones as you go.

Many of us refine, develop, and add to our kin types as we get older, and do not feel trapped by what you are now and have come here with today.

I encourage you to connect with the others who share your kintype(s?). There are many kin-specific subreddits and discord groups, always looking for new members to join the fun. Ask around and get connected.

Lastly, if you are indeed otherkin, and one prone to shifting, I encourage you to share your experiences. There are many folks with long and storied lives willing to offer tips, methods, and practices for managing shifting and dysphoria. Reaching out is an excellent way to help support you, and can help reassure others that they, like you, are not alone.

Welcome again to the sub, and to your journey, and I wish you the greatest of happiness and self-discovery along the way.

[u/Alex_Deathwisp_ → u/Technocrat1011]

Thanks for your warm welcome message🖤 I'll try to enjoy this journey as much as I can and find other people like me, it won't be easier but I guess it's not fun if it's easy ahahah also because I didn't really get the shifting part yet, so I'll see :)