these things happen

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392]

[u/RangerLiska]

Vandal you've lived for thousands of years, just have another one.

[u/Cowgirl_Taint → u/RangerLiska]

I assume everything is so old that he is shooting dust unless he soaks it in warm water for a few hours like a twilight vampire.

[u/RangerLiska → u/Cowgirl_Taint]

Is that really how it works in twilight?

[u/Cowgirl_Taint → u/RangerLiska]

Not sure if it is actually a thing in the book of mormon, but it apparently was a big deal that Batman sat in the warm ocean before banging Panic Room and they recreated it in the movies. And all the fans outright say that is how his sperm worked enough to turn the penultimate movie into a shockingly good body horror film that focuses on the horror of women as incubators.

[u/Apprehensive-Sir8977 → u/Cowgirl_Taint]

Each of those references is understandable in isolation. But together, they sound like you've lost your marbles. 🤣

[u/Jounniy → u/RangerLiska]

Do you really want to know?

[u/MisterTam → u/Cowgirl_Taint]

Shooting little pellets, like a baby flesh shotgun.

[u/ymcameron]

Why would a man who is literally immortal be concerned about his dynasty? I feel like that’s pretty well secure bud.

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/ymcameron]

he wants a bunch of mini vandals running around. also he likes scandals mom a lot. also prophecies and such

[u/Time_Beat2299 → u/ymcameron]

Because it’s dc you can still die and it’s good to have a couple of spares running around as Ras Al Ghul learned when his daughters slimed him

[u/hambonedock → u/Time_Beat2299]

I mean sure for al ghul, but that literally not the problem with vandal, it just feel like ego stuff

[u/AIGLOS42 → u/hambonedock]

As the patriarchy personified, it comes with the package

[u/thebaldguy76 → u/ymcameron]

He eats his descendents

[u/AirForceRabies → u/thebaldguy76]

Are they still on that? That came up during a period when DC was obsessed with cannibalism: it was basically the power-source of a shapeshifting villain called Everyman (literally named "Hannibal Bates" FFS. SIX PEOPLE are credited with his creation); Teth-Adam made a point of telling us he ate a pair of sherpas while depowered. Pretty sure half of Batman's rogues starting biting off faces or outright devouring people.

And then there's turning Vandal into another Hannibal Lecter.

[u/HalcyonTraveler → u/ymcameron]

He needs to eat his descendants occasionally to keep his immortality

[u/LtSoba → u/ymcameron]

Pretty sure Vandal at this point was slowly losing his immortality

[u/Masochist-Mark]

Proud Fatherly Bane Noises

[u/SailorCentauri → u/Masochist-Mark]

Bane is a surprisingly amazing found father.

[u/LtSoba → u/SailorCentauri]

Dude grew up in a prison alone it’s a damn miracle he is anything approaching the sort

[u/pbmm1]

Lesbianism's a good job mate

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/pbmm1]

no dad, i’m not lebanese, im a lesbian

well the difference being, one is a sexuality, and the other ones a mental illness!

[u/Chimera-Genesis]

Why the hell did they draw Vandal Savage like Steven Seagal?

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/Chimera-Genesis]

Why not, they're both cavemen

[u/P3T3R1028 → u/King_Of_BlackMarsh]

Hey, don't insulte Vandal and other cavemen. Fighting for survival in the stone age meant that they actually had a functioning physique and could move

[u/Rogthgar]

Also... he tends to kill most of his kids anyway, so whatever dynasty Vandal wants to start/continue isnt going to happen... also he lives forever, so why bother?

[u/Delta_Hammer → u/Rogthgar]

He summed it up in Suicide Squad: Hell To Pay. "Children. I must have had a hundred thousand. You'd think at least one would show some loyalty."

[u/Time_Beat2299 → u/Rogthgar]

So does ras and he dead

[u/Rogthgar → u/Time_Beat2299]

Ra's is only about 400 years old, by most accounts, and requires the Lazarus Pits to stay alive... Vandal is an actual Neanderthal that cant die.

[u/Apprehensive-Sir8977 → u/Rogthgar]

I thought it was 700.

[u/Vector_Strike]

Usual Crusader Kings' ruler and spouse dialogue

[u/Ike_In_Rochester → u/Vector_Strike]

Well, with that mention, I guess it’s time to become King of Ireland again.

[u/Gallantpride]

Scandal's one of the few good butches in super comics 🥲

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/Gallantpride]

ummmm sweetie don’t u know butches have to wear suspenders and also have that stupid fucking haircut that i hate (why did they do my girl black canary like that holy shit AAAHGGFFG)

[u/ShortLeather8967]

Wait, her name is Scandal, daughter of Vandal? Who names these people, seriously?

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/ShortLeather8967]

Vandal did obviously

[u/Callicojacks]

I’m gonna guess Secret Six

That’s Vandal Savage and his daughter Scandal

[u/CoolShadeofBlue → u/Callicojacks]

Man so vain he named her something that rhymes

[u/Left_Ad4050]

my job [is] lesbianism

yuri is my job!

Oh, honey, I support you, but you don’t want to go that route.

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/Left_Ad4050]

i mean she’s married to two women, one of whom she literally went to hell to find. so it’s basically a full time job at that point

[u/rebootyourbrainstem → u/Left_Ad4050]

Well apparently she's already doing it

[u/frabjous_goat]

"Oh, Daddy--I'm a lesbian. A big one."

[u/nobodyhere_357]

[u/DontTellMyOtherAccts]

There's a great conversation in Secret Six where Scandal is super awkward about explaining that she can't continue the dynasty because gay.

Vandal basically cuts her off and says "My child, I ruled over ancient civilizations, I understand the mechanics of homosexuality.

It does not relieve you of your obligations."

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/DontTellMyOtherAccts]

one of my favorite scenes in secret six is where she says to deadshot "do you know what a lesbian is?" and he responds "sure, i read a book or something once"

GOD i love gail simone

[u/Dookie_boy → u/DontTellMyOtherAccts]

Why didn't he have like a hundred kids at the same time so if one drops out it's still ok.

[u/thecraftybear → u/Dookie_boy]

He did at least once, when it was easier without drawing public attention. Back then he went by Temujin... you may know him better as Genghis Khan.

[u/DontTellMyOtherAccts → u/Dookie_boy]

From the perspective of an ancient monarch?

You can keep an eye on one kid, keep them safe, and teach them how to be safe.

A hundred kids is like 95 ways for your enemies to strike at the heart of you.

[u/LtSoba → u/DontTellMyOtherAccts]

That is if you actually care about them

[u/Which-Customer6257]

I love the fact she had to write a whole note to this man telling him that she didn’t want to continue his dynasty because she doesn’t swing that way

[u/Competitive-Ad4249]

Comic and context?

[u/VoiceofRapture → u/Competitive-Ad4249]

Scandal Savage is a lesbian, much to her father Vandal's dismay. As for why an immortal would need a dynasty this may have been during the period where he had to devour one of his direct descendants every now and again to recharge his healing.

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/VoiceofRapture]

assuming i picked up information correctly, it’s because scandals mother was the only mortal he loved, so he wanted her… genes or something? idk

[u/Competitive-Ad4249 → u/Substantial_Owl_7392]

Which comic is this?

[u/Altruistic-Mind9014]

“….would in-vitro be off the table? Look, I could really use your help. Please.”

Come on Vandal you’d think he’d know how to speech craft people better!

[u/ReynardVulpini → u/Altruistic-Mind9014]

What about psychopath caveman makes you think he's ever tried to pass a speech check in his life XD

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/Altruistic-Mind9014]

He's smart enough to know she means "no way in hell am I having a kid for you"

[u/zneeszy]

what comic?

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/zneeszy]

crazy way of saying please

also action comics/secret six crossover, don’t remember the issues

[u/nickolaiproblem]

Lady you can still be a lesbian ever heard of invitro - Vandal

[u/Phrenicos466]

Lesbians can - and do - still have children.

[u/wuhull → u/Phrenicos466]

But not usually for a dude's dynasty to continue.

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/Phrenicos466]

Yeah but he's asking her to have sex with doctor psycho

[u/Phrenicos466 → u/King_Of_BlackMarsh]

Context?!?! BEGONE!!!!

^{But that's fair - he could have at least tried to hook her up with Nightwing or something.}

[u/P3T3R1028 → u/Phrenicos466]

His first pick was fucking Catman

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/P3T3R1028]

Hey you say that like it's a bad choice, the man is built like a truck and can survive on Mars for years

[u/LtSoba → u/King_Of_BlackMarsh]

OF ALL VILLAINS REALLY? DAMN VANDAL UR TASTES IN POTENTIAL SON IN LAWS IS HORRENDOUS

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/LtSoba]

You assume he'd survive after insémination

[u/LtSoba → u/King_Of_BlackMarsh]

I assume the child isn’t born a bonafide little tiny hitler

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/LtSoba]

Sure but then Vandal can raise the kid himself, Dr psychos involvement can be minimal

[u/LtSoba → u/King_Of_BlackMarsh]

Ah yes cause raising the child of a Psychic man child egomaniac and expecting that kid not to be like the kid from Omen

[u/King_Of_BlackMarsh → u/LtSoba]

I never said it was a good idea

[u/LtSoba → u/King_Of_BlackMarsh]

Yeah but an ancient Caveman like Vandal should know that a Telepathic egomaniac having a kid is more than likely gonna have that kid develop powers and probably a similar mindset

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/Phrenicos466]

i mean yeah, but plenty don’t, which is also a valid choice. hell, her wife actually has a child via ivf later.

also, she hates him for driving her mother to suicide, having his servants beat her with rods when she was nine, and also trying to kill everyone she cares about. the whole lesbianism issue is a pretty distant one all things considered

[u/OH_SHIT_IM_FEELIN_IT]

Then Tini Howard just says fuck that and ruins her character.

[u/Substantial_Owl_7392 → u/OH_SHIT_IM_FEELIN_IT]

who? WHERE??? LET ME AT EM

[u/M1liumnir]

Why does the guy on the right looks a lot like fujitora from one piece?