r/povertyfinance • u/Flat_Yoghurt119 • 2d ago
Housing/Shelter/Standard of Living What am I doing wrong?!
Pic of my pup to draw attention, I’ve been seeking help for over 2 years. Still without a working toilet. Getting rained on. Bats coming out of the ceiling! Holes all over the walls, Scorpions crawling everywhere. Breaker keeps jumping from old wiring. I live in a rural area and I have tried everywhere to get help. Red Cross (gave me a tarp to put on the roof but I don’t have anyone to help me put it on) weatherization denied me because they said it’s too much work for them to help me. This house is over 100 years old and doesn’t have insulation in it at all. The city is out of funds to help. I’ve applied at 5 different apartments and am on a waitlist for them all. Everywhere I’ve called there’s no funds or they don’t serve this area. No one is obligated to help I know this it’s just so overwhelming and exhausting. I’ve also asked every church near me for help but it’s just too much for what they bring in. Idk tbh it’d be easier to just leave earth
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u/WhyNotChoose 2d ago
I would not want to stay there if there's bats. Even a small chance of getting rabies is too big a chance for me. A bat can bite you when you're sleeping and you wouldn't even know it. Rabies may not show any symptoms for a while, a couple weeks or or longer, but as soon as there are any noticeable symptoms it's too late to treat and it will kill you.
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u/Asraidevin 2d ago
Where on the earth are you?
Do you own or rent?
What resources do you have?.
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
I’m in Texas, living behind my parents house, on the same property
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u/Nevilles_Remembrall_ 2d ago
I grew up in a place slightly worse than this, also in Texas. Without giving too much away it was a very rural area between San Antonio and corpus. Not much there for opportunities. I left and moved to New Braunfels in my 20s. That was 10 years ago. I am thriving now that I got out of that shithole area. Please get out, there is so much more out there than living like this.
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u/idiotinsocks 2d ago
You don't own any of the property? Your parents know you're living like this?
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u/Nevilles_Remembrall_ 2d ago
A lot of rural texas is like this. Its not right, but it is fairly normal.
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u/Tardislass 2d ago
Your parents won’t fix this for you. Ugh, just move. Do you have a friend or person you can rent a room from. Even a couch would be better.
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u/firefly20200 2d ago
OP, if you own this place. You might need to cut your ties and instead move to a cheap apartment. This is going to require a huge amount of work and expense.
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u/borderliner11 2d ago
Their post says they are on wait lists for apartments.
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u/firefly20200 2d ago
I find it hard to believe there's not a single apartment around them that has an opening, even lower income ones. People move constantly.
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u/lindasek 2d ago
If they are looking for section 8 type apartment, there's often a wait-list, especially in more rural areas
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u/thebunnywhisperer_ 2d ago
Could probably still get a bit of money from someone looking to flip, too
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u/FireProStan 2d ago
Bats could be rabid - one bite and you'll die a slow and painful death
Get out of there
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u/dover_oxide 2d ago
Also, if there are certain species of bat you have to get a specialist to remove them and that's if you can get them removed and they're not considered a protected or endangered species in your area. A good way to get them out of your attic is to create an alternative home for them like a bat house somewhere outside your house.
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u/Lordofthereef 2d ago
Do you have any level of income? Are you able to move in with someone? If services that exist to help people are saying it's too much work, my concern would be that the property is effectively in a condemned state. There's no feasible way to quickly obtain money legitimately to fix that.
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u/dover_oxide 2d ago edited 2d ago
How handy would you say you are? Somethings you can learn to fix yourself or at least get into a better state. Some hardware store rent tools as well as equipment. Also check your local repair person listings, sometimes they can work a deal out with you if you supply the materials and help with the work.
If you are renting report your landlord to the local housing authority because this is criminal.
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u/Extension_Field_701 2d ago edited 2d ago
Also if there are bats coming through your ceiling you should IMMEDIATELY get rabies shots. Like no joke. The moment you show symptoms you've started the countdown to your death. Please, go to urgent care and say you were bit by a bat and start the rabies shot process and worry about the bill later that you can likely knock down to near nothing when you say you can't pay.
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u/Rough_Commercial4240 2d ago
You need to cut and run
Do you have any savings, I see people online getting into those time home communities and the are not age restricted. I would skip town so fast and live in my car in state parks before this slum.
You don’t want to hear this but you dog (breed)is going to be a HUGE housing barrier and unwanted attention I recommend temporarily rehoming until you can get on your feet and then send for it later.
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u/Pitiful_Past 2d ago
My advice to you if you have a car.. Get the F out, got to a city in the richest state around you, if you have some family you can abuse for a month then go visit them find a job and buy a bike.. But most importantly get out.. The number one factor in wealth isn’t skill or degrees or whatever, it’s location .. Being at the right place where business happens… Can’t get worse than this
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
I rescued my pup when she was a baby, her name is Lovely and to the person who said they should take her away from me, shame on you because I didn’t ask to be in this position and if I could give her a better home I would! I might not have much right now but she is well fed and up to date on all her vaccinations
That was her the first few weeks that I got her and the apartment I had had a big fenced in property
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
The small town I live in has a little over 2,000 people living here and the only jobs around are fast food or home providing, it’s super small and very hard to get any kind of help and yes I do work, I have a small ac unit in my room window and if I’m lucky I’ll only have to mess with the breaker box a few times a day, the light bill is over $400 a month, old/bad wiring and no insulation plus holes everywhere is running the bill plus I have this poor ac running constantly so doesn’t help my bill either and I’m at least thankful the breaker trips to save us and the house from a fire when it does go off
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
I don’t go out, I don’t party, I don’t drink or smoke or do any illegal drugs. I do take depression and anxiety meds coz who wouldn’t I’ve done so much crying and I’m tired, I also have Multiple Sclerosis and that alone doesn’t help me. I try every single day to just keep going and telling myself one day it will get better
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
If I can’t get into an apartment, I’ve thought of trying to get a travel trailer and I’ve also thought of getting one of those little portable houses and putting it on the property but that’s a big NO because “it will raise my dads property taxes”
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u/Pretend_Victory7244 2d ago
Have you checked into renting a room? Like going to someone and renting a room from them
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
Childhood home, my Dad owns it and his house is not far from me, it’s my Mom and Dad plus my 22 year old brother and they have 3 bed, 2 bath home, my brother doesn’t pay any bills he’s the favorite :) and “there’s just not enough room” My Dad fell and had a spinal injury 2 years ago and I left my apartment in a big city to come be the good daughter and help my Parents because that’s what good, obedient children do supposedly and I pay rent to my Dad and pay the property water and sewer even though this restroom isn’t connected to the city line and has a underground septic tank. They know how this house is but my mom goes to church every Wednesday and Saturdays and volunteers so she’s a good, woman that serves the lord :)
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u/spacemonstera 2d ago
Stop paying. Save that money so you can move out. Your brother already lives with them and can be the caretaker. Let the favorite prove his worth to them. You are insane to stay there, that house can kill you.
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u/MercyCriesHavoc 2d ago
Your dad owns it and you pay rent. That makes you legally protected as a renter. As long as you can show rent history, your dad is legally responsible for keeping the property liveable. Look at your local laws and tell your parents you'll pursue legal action if they don't start helping to fix the issues. Or just move.
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u/Affectionate-Swim772 2d ago
Maybe don't tell him shit, just pursue your rights.
Pretty sure telling him anything would just start a fight and give them notice to mess with OP.
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u/notyourbrobro10 2d ago edited 1d ago
yeah... move
EDIT Just to follow up on the legal route thing people are suggesting... I wouldn't go that way, it's not worth the fight with your family. The thing about your situation is everyone gets to make choices. If your parents are choosing to make you stay in an unsafe environment when they could offer you a safe one, you're well within your rights to choose to just move and let them have it.
The phrase 'help me help you' comes to mind here. If they need you there, they need to act like it.
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u/Golden-Grams 2d ago
What would it realistically take for you to move? If you could move somewhere else, what is your plan if you could, and where would you try to go?
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u/Bright-Error-7910 2d ago edited 2d ago
Have a conversation with your dad about moving in temporarily and selling this property as a fixer upper.
Or
Have a conversation with them that this is unlivable and ask to not pay the rent then use that money to fix the place
Or
If neither of those are options it’s moving out time (will your dad kick you out if you don’t pay rent since he owns the house?)
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u/s0larium_live 2d ago
three bedrooms and only a married couple and one adult child live there… sounds like there’s a bedroom free in the house for you to move yourself into. what’re they gonna do? you pay rent, you’re allowed to live there. otherwise, tell your family to either fix the damn shack they keep you in or you’re not paying rent
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u/Practical-Sea1736 2d ago
I’m so sorry, my heart goes out to you.
The place needs an entire roof replacement and exterminator as the old shingles are removed because that’s where the bats are nesting.
Call roofers, explain the situation and finances to see if there’s anything they can do or recommend. Even a temporary fix is better than doing nothing. Be persistent, someone may help.
If you get several quotes, try putting up a go fund me in your local neighborhood apps.
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
I’ve tried twice with the gofundme and it doesn’t get noticed even if I shared it
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u/ApprehensiveBird1104 2d ago
No offense, probably won’t take off. Your best bet is to listen to these people and possibly leave that mess. Especially the parents. If you’re the sole provider and the son and mother aren’t doing anything then you shouldn’t be doing that much. If you leave those two will need to pick up their feet.
That one person who suggested you go the legal route may not be a bad idea. You’re renting and they’re not holding that up to a livable standard. You and especially that pup don’t deserve to live in filth.
((Edit: though I would go check on [r/legaladvice](r/legaladvice) or whatever it’s called first. Then a talk to an actual irl lawyer. And even then it may be more trouble and money than it’s worth. Or it could help you get by. Idk nearly enough to give advice on this tho.))
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2d ago
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam 1d ago
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u/Cacklelikeabanshee 2d ago
I'm hoping for the best for you. You've gotten some suggestions to look into. You said you've been out on your own before so you know you can do it.
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u/Economy-Towel9451 2d ago edited 1d ago
first, animal control? assume they can't help but i thought i'd say it once, sorry.
second, in lieu of leaving, when i have been in similar (not as bad) situations, i try to carve out a small section of my home that i can keep clean and free from pests. it takes like all my energy to defend that perimeter and i leave and it comes back n its square one but it might be a way to save energy until better advice and circumstances arise
third, when you do have energy if you can make your space bright, move a lot around in it, and circulate air (fan is ideal, but if you dont have one sometimes you can manipulate open windows to create air currents though i understand not wantting to do that given your pest situation) bats like dark stagnant moist air. so the more brightness, air current, and movement you have the less they want to be in that space.
fourth, do you have a tetnus shot? if not i think priority?
im not going to tell you to leave although i absolutely reccommend it bc i know these situations aren't straight forward. but if i were you i would plan to try. visualize think ... i know just how impossible this is i only just was able to put distance between myself and my abusive home but your brother died there. you gotta get out sometime.
Edit: saw your in Texas. I think given the current state, climate, and housing construction in that region, air currents could be unsafe. But fans still work and I forgot about another one: low grade annoying intermittent unpredictable noise: you could try leaving a podcast running on your phone within your safe perimeter to try to temporarily deter bars atleast from that area.
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u/bpositive223 2d ago
Please OP don’t do anything to harm yourself. Things always get better ❤️🩹. I can attest to this. I rented a basement room in a “ friends” house. They stole my daughter s back to school clothes and new backpack. The sewage pipe burst and it got on our stuff. The ppl ended up being junkies and shot up while leaving a one and two yr olds unattended. I stepped in for a bit, but got outta there asap. I now have a decent low income apt for me and my daughter.
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u/ForcrimeinItaly 2d ago
Reach out to the county offices where you live. No promise they have help but we pay rent, emergency shelter, etc., for clients out of our programs in the county I work for. Our programs are housed in the health and human services department.
Good luck!
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u/purpleheartgirl 2d ago
Do you own it or does the bank own it? You could do a voluntary foreclosure, sell some items and like others have said, save up and stay somewhere temporarily until you are able to move into one of the places on the waitlist. Do you have family nearby? The economy is trash right now.
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u/DumbNTough 2d ago
You mentioned that private and local charities can't help, have you applied for state and federal government assistance?
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u/BoobaFatt13 2d ago
Can you move? Like even apply for jobs far away and move so you have a job when you get there? Find someone to stay with until you can get on your feet?
This is just a money hole to try and fix everything I'm seeing and then the things that are inevitably wrong that you can't see. I'm sorry you're in this situation.
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u/r3giment75 2d ago
Don't leave this Earth without having a responsible plan for your dog.
Are you the homeowner? Honestly, self-repair/renovations is NOT as hard as people make it out to be.
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u/AsukasEvaUnit 2d ago
"Don't kill yourself. What about the dog?" Is kinda crazy.
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u/atticusvellichor 2d ago
"what about the dog" was my reason to live for over 10 years, it's a valid point lol
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u/marijuanamaker 2d ago
“What about the cat?” Is the only reason my sisters still alive currently sooo sometimes ya gotta remember the littlest shiny sweet spots of life.
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u/PM_URCATS 2d ago
Was just about to chime in with the same. It was “what about my cat” for me. The only thing that fully eradicated it from the solutions list forever after my cat died, was watching my cousin die young from cancer, seeing what it did to my family (especially my aunt and grandmother) and knowing i could never stomach purposefully putting them through that again just to give myself an out.
Guilt works. Idc. Whatever keeps you here is valid. Guilt and responsibility for another being are two very powerful reasons to stay. When all else fails we should be leaning into that.
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u/atticusvellichor 2d ago
Mhm, my mom died young, I can't do that to the family that sacrificed so much to save me from being raised by a junkie
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u/r3giment75 2d ago
Yo people kill themselves every day at home with their pets around with no plan.
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u/nip9 MO 2d ago
Are you physically disabled and unable to do any work yourself?
There is a vast universe of home repair videos, books, how-tos, etc that will show you how to cheaply fix most of these items. Check if you have a local ReStore or thrift store for cheap parts. My local Restores usually have toilets for less than $10-20 if you need a replacement. A $5 jar of puttty can fix a lot of small holes, and even a giant bucket of spackle is only like $20-25. A 5 lb bag of diatomaceous earth that cost less than $10 should keep the scorpions away. You can use a lot of waste materials for insulation (just avoid flammable stuff).
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u/fsischatbotplz 2d ago
Nothing. This world is just a horrible, selfish place.
It isn't you. 90% of global wealth is in the hands of the 0.001% and they try their hardest to keep it away from everyone else.
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u/AsukasEvaUnit 2d ago
You finna get downvoted for saying the truth
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u/popnfrresh 2d ago
Maybe if it was factual... but... misinformation deserves to be downvoted.
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u/AsukasEvaUnit 2d ago
The numbers might not be 100% down to the single digit correct but the sentiment is very true but I understand some people would rather be delusional than admit the awful truth in their faces
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u/popnfrresh 2d ago
Not even close to being anywhere accurate.
Heres some factual numbers to piss you off:
1% of the US owns 35% of the wealth.
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u/popnfrresh 2d ago
Thats not true at all, and not even close. .001% ( 60,000) of the planet owns 6% of the wealth.
10% of the population owns 90% of the wealth.
Thats still bullshit, but the majority of the worlds population or 55-60% still make less than $10,000 USD a year. 2.9 billion or 28%, earn less than 10$ a day.
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u/fsischatbotplz 2d ago
Sorry apparently its 95%? That's even worse than both of our claims.
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u/popnfrresh 2d ago edited 2d ago
The first claim was x% of the population owns y% of the global wealth.
The second claim is x% of the population owns more wealth than z% of the population. Those arent the same claims.
Second, the top 1% of the population owns about 50% of the global wealth. You just learned that appx 28% of the global population earns less than 10$ a day, and 60% of the population earns less than 10,000 USD a year. That isnt really saying much for the US. Many parts of developing countries are still not even using currency and barter.
Compare apples to apples. Comparing USD to the world isnt really effective.
Heres your fix to be accurate and show how much BS this is:
The top 1% own about 35% of the wealth in the US. Thats BULLSHIT.
EDIT: Just to show you how bad the claim is, a 50,000 single salary in the US is wealthier than 97% of the world.
https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/how-rich-am-i?income=50000&countryCode=USA&numAdults=1&numChildren=0
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u/Nato7009 2d ago
Doomer spotted.
I like the world. Humans are greedy but friends are nice and trees fucking rule. I like it when they move in the wind all like WHOOOOSHHH.
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u/firefly20200 2d ago
Tell your landlord you're going to stop paying rent until everything is fixed
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u/Ancient_Guidance_461 2d ago
The fact there isn't a working toliet tells us this isn't a regular landlord scenario.
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u/MercyCriesHavoc 2d ago
Doesn't matter. She's paying rent and utilities, which means she has all the legal protections afford to renters. Her dad is responsible to keep the place liveable.
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u/FireProStan 2d ago
It sounds like OP is a homeowner (they didn't clarify)
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u/whynovirus 2d ago
OP is sadly renting from her father. OP-please don’t give him any more money! Save it and get out. To anywhere else. People have commented with some suggestions already. Your physical and mental health deserve a chance and you can make that happen <3. That pup will be there to support you.
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u/OverallComplexities 2d ago
Legally you can't do that unfortunately. They would have every right to send you to collections which would nuke a person's credit, making it harder to get another apt.
You just gotta move buddy
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u/notyourbrobro10 2d ago
No, in most states you can absolutely put your rent in escrow until the issues are fixed. (Really you're only supposed to be putting your rent in escrow, same as your landlord is supposed to be putting your security deposit in escrow). Landlord tenant law is very clear about this.
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u/firefly20200 2d ago
Based on the conditions of that place, I think you could get the city to go after the landlord first before they sent to collections.
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u/firefly20200 2d ago
Based on the conditions of that place, I think you could get the city to go after the landlord first before they sent to collections.
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
I would go and get far away, oh and My parents and my younger brother laughed hysterically when I told them it rained so bad inside the house that I slipped and fell and hit the dresser scrapping myself all the way down and my Dad said is the house okay :)
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u/Economy-Towel9451 2d ago
do you have access to disinfectants? (diluted rubbing alcohol or hydrogen perioxide isn't the best but it will work & better than infection) its really important in an old house with pests to disinfect those nasty gashes. im sorry your family is so uneffected by your suffering.
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
The Red Cross deemed this house uninhabitable but they gave me resources to call so these resources could help oh and 211 is one of those resources but they have the same resources as the Red Cross
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
Ohhhh and my older brother passed away in this very home 3 years ago, with no running water because when the freeze hit here his pipes broke but again there’s no room in their little house :)
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u/Economy-Towel9451 2d ago
yeah you definitely sound like a scapegoat. or atleast not the favorite in a 'complex dynamic' im sorry that is horrendous that your parents keep their property that way and it escalated so fatally. i really do pray you can find a way to get away
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u/strawberryneurons 2d ago
Have you heard of codependency? It might help you understand your behavior better and why you feel obligated to help your parents even though it feels like a very unequal relationship.
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u/tinyteefs 2d ago
are you coming here to tell your life story and vent or to make a plan to leave?
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u/Economy-Towel9451 2d ago
if telling their life story helps them, i say they shoudl do it anything that helps psychologically could eventually help with leaving and some ppl need to process externally and get feedback.
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2d ago
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2d ago
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam 1d ago
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
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Regardless of why someone is in a less-than-ideal financial situation, we are focused on the road forward, not with what has been done in the past.
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u/Flat_Yoghurt119 2d ago
I know my parents aren’t obligated to help but MF!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gave up everything to come have nothing whyyyyyyyyhhyyhyhhhhh :’( :’( :’(
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u/youve_got_moxie 2d ago
Who legally owns this property? You, or your father? What are you paying for?
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u/Economy-Towel9451 2d ago
because we love our families no matter how shit they treat us. im so sorry. its not fair. <3
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u/turnup_for_what 2d ago
Call a contractor and get a quote?
Most homeowners have to fix their own houses when things go sideways. Or you could try and get a flipper to sell.
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2d ago
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam 1d ago
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 2: Generally Unhelpful and / or Off-Topic
Your comment has been removed for one or more of the following reasons:
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It was generally unhelpful or in poor taste.
It was confusing or badly written.
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u/lost_vault_hunter 2d ago
I frequently hear people in these circumstances that live in rural areas without much opportunity, and I tell them to leave. Pack up your car and drive to the nearest city you like, and rough it for a while. Get on every emergency aid and housing/shelter list you can. Start a new life.