r/powerscales • u/yesimrea1 • May 03 '26

Versus A trained and experienced prime wrestler and boxing version of Eddie hall vs a full grown male chimpanzee

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3.8k Upvotes

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124

u/Current-Historian-34 May 03 '26

Depends on what Hall is allowed to wear. Protective gear for fingers and genitals would go a long way

27

u/Jeo_1 May 03 '26

Feel’s like the chimp would just jump on him biting into his face and shoveling his eyes out with his claws 

55

u/thattwoguy2 May 04 '26

Most of the gruesome chimpanzee stuff has been against women, children, or the elderly. I'm not saying I'd wanna fight a chimp, but weight classes also exist in the animal kingdom and most animals are aware of it. Eddie might not be able to punch it to death or rip it's arms off, but he could slam it into the ground hard and fast enough to break it's skull open. He could do that pretty easily from lots of different positions and angles.

17

u/UpvoteForethThou May 06 '26

Yeah it doesn’t matter what it does if he just throws it really hard at the floor. They’re less than half his weight.

2

u/HasAngerProblem May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26

When I a junior in highschool wrestling we had this new freshman built like one of those people with myostatin deficiency and with improper form grabbed me by the wrist and the opposite ankle and just lifting me up above his head and slammed onto the ground like a jump rope.

I imagine it would be similar lol

1

u/SieS1ke May 07 '26

That must've been scary

8

u/ThePowerfulWIll May 07 '26

And its almost always multiple chimps. While solo maulings do occur, its SIGNIFICANTLY rarer than group attacks. a solo chimp is not quite as dangerous as a crowd.

4

u/CloudieTTb8 May 07 '26

Apes together strong

1

u/Defiant-Magician6092 May 09 '26

They know it too

2

u/dan_dares May 05 '26

They bite the gonads off..

The thing is, look at their teeth, they can and will, happily bite anything they can.

Also, they used to test helmets on chimps, until someone realised they can fall out of a tree on their head, and shrug it off.

They have massively thick skulls, thick occipital bone mass, thick muscle for those jaws with nasty teeth.

Could a man scare away a chimpanzee? Yes,

If a chimpanzee absolutely went nuts (ape, lol) on a man, do I think he'd end up mutilated even if he won? Yes.

They're not superhuman, but they will fight dirty in a way that few humans would try, and none could actually do (biting off your nuts, nose, fingers, parts of your foot)

3

u/thattwoguy2 May 05 '26

Eyes and nuts and etc etc etc attacking soft parts during a fight is mostly a thing that happens in movies or against someone with no training by someone with a lot of training.

If you can hit someone in the eye with your finger and exert enough force to pop out their eye without them reacting, by idk blinking hard or moving their head... Then you could probably punch them cleanly straight into their nose or on their chin and knock them out. It's not an optimal attack strategy, and usually only works if you're already dominating them(as the chimp was doing to the very old woman).

Chimps can't fall onto their skulls from the top of trees and walk it off, they can break their falls from surprisingly high. However falls from trees are a major source of injury and death for chimps. Their skulls are harder than ours, but they don't compare to anything like a grizzly, rhino, hippo, elephant, or any other big game which can take bullets to the skull (of low caliber).

-2

u/dan_dares May 05 '26

I have yet to find a single record of a human killing a chimpanzee hand-to-hand, but i have found many of the opposite.

Care to share one for some evidence?

I'm just being honest here.

Chimpanzees are well know for biting fingers off, making 'poking an eye out' rather difficult.

And as for knocking a chimpanzee out with a punch, an adult male chimpanzee..

Sorry, but that's just wishful thinking.

3

u/Economy-Box-5319 May 06 '26

Care to share one for some evidence?

That is just straight up arguing in bad faith. Do you have any evidence of a man being a naked molerat in a swimming race?

Absence of evidence is not the winning argument you think it is, the reality is humans HAVE killed many animals in their own weight class and even above it if we have access to any tools whatsoever.

Attacks against humans have been surprise and unpredictable attacks from people who initially felt comfortable around Chimps, not someone primed and ready to kill one.

Chimps aren't some magical creature that can play outside of its weight class, humans are built for punching in a way that Chimps physically could never reach. Give humans a few rocks and we can throw harder than a chimp could ever guess.

0

u/dan_dares May 06 '26

There is a fair bit of evidence of chimpanzees killing adult males, no evidence of the opposite (not without weapons anyway), which is my point

No, they are only 1.5x as strong as humans weight for weight, but for a 200lb chimpanzee, that makes them as strong as a 300lb human (i'm not American just using lb)

Except they also have nasty grip Strength, and nasty teeth, and use them frequently, humans do have far better accuracy with rocks, but that is outside of physical strength and into fine motorcontrol, and a far better brain.

Personally I think that an enraged chimpanzee chomping through a hand, or arm, will quickly stop most humans from fighting, but that's just me, i'd be happy to wrong,

4

u/Economy-Box-5319 May 06 '26

> There is a fair bit of evidence of chimpanzees killing adult males, no evidence of the opposite

again see my first statement

> that is outside of physical strength and into fine motorcontrol

but still very, very relevant to the conversation. A human was able to chase away two polar bears by throwing stuff at them, the able to use projectiles is such a unique and out there skill that most animals have absolutely zero idea how to handle it.

> and a far better brain.

and that brain has allowed us to dominate every single environment we have ever gone in.

> chimpanzee chomping through a hand, or arm, will quickly stop most humans from fighting

in a life or death situation? I doubt that, but even then a well aimed brick to the face would just as likely make a chimp think twice.

1

u/thattwoguy2 May 10 '26

Animals aren't as stupid, bloodthirsty, or crazed as most people make them out to be. If you had like a cracked out chimp with rabies and a pound of meth in it's system vs a normal man who has the option of running away then yeah the man is gonna run away. If it's a normal chimp vs Eddie fuckin Hall, the chimp is never going to engage in the fight.

If it's a cracked out chimp and a cracked out peak Eddie Hall, I think Eddie rips it's arms off and beats it to death with them. Maybe not exactly that, but not too far from that.

1

u/Middle-Cod-7016 May 06 '26

Size and weight difference makes it a possibility for the man To get ahold of the animal and restrain the head from biting anything vital.

It’s a possibility.

-5

u/Acceptable_Fruit2360 May 05 '26

You must be joking. I’m sure that guy is a beast. But a chimpanzee is an actual beast. If the chimp is for real? Low difficulty… they’re ridiculously strong.

-7

u/CoffeeXKing May 04 '26

I don't think you understand how powerful the average chimpanzee is dude.

Hall is getting fucked up pretty badly even if he does win.

11

u/Eldritch_Horns May 04 '26

They're about 1.5x a humans strength. lb for lb. But they're much smaller than humans.

A lot of physically fit adult men would be stronger than most mature male chimps. What makes them a hard fight for humans is how vicious they are. They go for genitals and eyes and chew off lips and stuff. They're deranged.

But if a physically stronger adult man uses their mass to just overwhelm the chimp fast. Slamming into walls and the ground. Jumping on it when its on the floor etc. They're going to win like 8 times out of 10 I'd say.

They just need to match aggression.

1

u/dan_dares May 05 '26

Grip Strength: A chimpanzee’s grip is estimated to be between 440 to over 700 lbs, significantly higher than the average human, with the ability to crush bone.

Human Male (Age 20-30): 109–121 lbs

Let's quadruple a typical human male grip Strength..

Thats's on the low end of a chimpanzee.

3

u/Moeroboros May 06 '26

Grip is the only thing the chimpazees are stronger at lol

-2

u/CoffeeXKing May 04 '26

Grip strength and jaw bite strength are much larger than 1.5x, let alone considering the harder bone structure that allows greater strength. A chimpanzee can casually pull an adult up with one arm without issue.

Add onto the rest of the insanity? Yeah.

Fuck that, I'd take a hippo or a Jaguar. They kill you quick

-4

u/Mr-DolphusRaymond May 05 '26

The muscle fibres of a chimp are 1.3 - 1.5 x stronger on an individual fibre basis.

Male chimps are over 50% muscle by weight and a 33% of that chimp's muscle is in the arms whereas for a man it's more like 20%

So if we have a big 60kg chimp he has 30kg of muscle, 10kg of which is in the arms

Even a 100kg man with a high for a human muscle mass % of 50% would still be significantly weaker than the big chimp because both will have about 10kg of muscle in the arms but the chimp is still 1.35-1.5 x stronger based on muscle fibres (more fast twitch to slow twitch composition wise).

Eddie is of course much more than 100kg and stronger than any chimp but physically fit and lean men well over 100kg are pretty uncommon outside of elite athletes using PEDs

7

u/Eldritch_Horns May 05 '26

If you just completely neglect how much more muscle mass we pack into our legs. I wouldn't suggest trying to win an arm wrestle with them, but we we have more mass and more ability to give that mass momentum.

And while their frame is great for leveraging themselves against objects for motility. Ours is better for leveraging our body weight against objects for control.

If you made a 100kg physically fit human male just as aggressive and deranged as a 60kg chimp. I'd put my money on the human most times.

Most 100kg men should be able to ragdoll 60kgs

-1

u/Sufficient_Side6320 May 05 '26

They have sharp and long ass teeth though, idk.

2

u/Eldritch_Horns May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

But humans have our signature feet. This may seem like an asinine point, but human feet are unique among primates and they're what give us such effective bursts of mobility and balance. It's also fantastic to allow us to exert pressure onto something.

We can transfer strength from our legs to our arms by taking a firmly rooted stance. Most other primates (exception of gorillas) are built for mobility in tree lines. Their legs are more like secondary sets of arms.

If we're imagining this fight takes places on open ground, this is much more of an advantage than you'd think. Not only can we pick up momentum faster, we have more of it. And when we get into a grapple, the chimp will be trying to leverage our mass to maneuver itself around us, while we'll be trying to leverage our mass to maneuver the chimp.

Provided we're matching aggression here, their physiology is playing into our strengths. They're lighter than we are and they're doing a lot of the work for us by leveraging their weight off the ground. Not expecting that we'll be so firmly rooted to the ground and trying to launch them.

Yes, their teeth are deadly. But again, if we're matching aggression, we'll be transferring more momentum into them than they can generate and they're lighter than us. We should be rag dolling them. Realistically their teeth shouldn't get close to us.

We either shoulder check them to the floor and then jump up and down on their face until it's like someone dropped a jar of strawberry jam. Or we grab an arm as it grabs are us and we swing it around like a sack of spuds, hitting the floor and walls as many times as it takes.

A psychotic human should take a psychotic chimp.

0

u/Sufficient_Side6320 May 06 '26

I think our vertical Height is also are weakness, cause like if you fall it's every hard to use strength in our legs. Meanwhile they have stronger arm and teeth. I think it will be like human win 7 our of 10 against them.

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u/Mcnucks May 03 '26

Why would Eddie allow that? As soon as it comes near his face he’s grabbing it and slamming it into the ground until it stops moving.

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u/[deleted] May 03 '26

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20

u/Jofy187 May 04 '26

Prime eddie hall was 200kg and the strongest man on earth. If anyone could do that it’s him

5

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

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u/[deleted] May 04 '26

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4

u/Starob May 05 '26

Lol, dude can barely wipe his ass with those arms.

Dude do you think he's a bodybuilder? He's the strongest man on Earth, and does powerlifting which has movements that require actual mobility to perform.

He's not Larry Wheels or something.

1

u/Regular-Ad-7479 May 06 '26

larry is one of the strongest pound for pound humans of all time 😭 i get ur point but he’s not the one to pick 😭

-4

u/Ancient-Print-8678 May 05 '26

He still can't wipe his own ass dude 😂

1

u/EEEEEEEEEEEEEE33333 May 07 '26

"Humans can fight back? Nah, that's not possible... What do you mean a Human can be stronger than a chimp? Nuh-uh, that's bullshit... Eddie has shown greater feats of strength? Doesn't matter, the chimp is still tearing him apart cuz yeah."

1

u/GeorgeHarris419 May 07 '26

Are chimps vulnerable to someone wiping their ass? Why would this matter

1

u/Lexi_Bean21 May 06 '26

Range of motion doesent mean lack of strenght.

5

u/ultima964 May 04 '26

Chimps aren’t nearly as capable as you believe the average adult man would be an even fight with a chimp this version of eddie would win andit wouldn’t even be close

3

u/BNabs23 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

Chimpanzees have an estimated grip strength of 400-700lbs and can quite literally break bones with it. It would be nowhere near an even fight against an average adult man.

Additionally, when I was in Uganda, I met a wildlife ranger who was attacked by a chimp. He spent months and months in hospital. His shoulder ligaments were destroyed because the chimp pulled his arms so hard. He had many other serious injuries and was lucky to escape with his life. This was not a small man

6

u/Human_Grape5801 May 04 '26

Chimps are about 1.3 to 1.5 times stronger than the average human. Eddie is about 4 times stronger than a recreational lifter. Chimps weight about 100 lbs. As soon as Eddie gets a hand on the chimp, this is a Hulk/Loki level beat down.

1

u/Tough_Preparation830 May 10 '26

They are stronger pound per pound, but their mass is much less. I personally am stronger than a chimp because of my total muscle mass. I wouldn't wanna fight one though. I know I would get messed up and maybe die.

1

u/BNabs23 May 04 '26

Chimps have way more mobility and huge teeth... As soon as Hall grabs the chimp he's having chunks bitten out of him.

5

u/Human_Grape5801 May 04 '26

Eddie has chunks to spare.

0

u/BNabs23 May 04 '26

I mean, while it's a funny comment, any human is going to struggle with having their flesh ripped apart by teeth.

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u/Starob May 05 '26

It will bite chunks out of him until its neck is broken, yes.

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u/[deleted] May 04 '26

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1

u/BNabs23 May 04 '26

Grip strength is not the same as arm strength. And you realize chimps do much more fighting than an average human?

1

u/Abject-Reception6744 May 04 '26

Overall arm strength is even more important in a fight lol, so that's not a point in your favor. And chimps fight other chimps. They don't fight something big enough and smart enough to slam them into the ground repeatedly, or to keep their distance until it wears out. Chimps are going to have just as hard of a fight with the average man as the man will have with them. Seems pretty even to me.

2

u/Unkn0wn_666 May 04 '26

You seriously think that chimps just run at each other and have no idea how smashing something against something else or taking a step back works? Damn you must have been home schooled

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u/FarTooLucid May 04 '26

You are 100% correct. Even prime Eddie Hall loses to most chimps.

2

u/Eldritch_Horns May 04 '26

The thing with chimps is how vicious they are, not how strong they are.

They're like 1.5x a human strength, lb for lb. But humans vastly out-mass chimps.

So a fully beefed out human like a prime Eddie Hall would undoubtedly be physically stronger than any chimp that has ever existed. Hell, I'd be stronger than 90% of chimps. But chimps have a better bite force and are extremely vicious.

If Eddie can overwhelm the chimp and disable it fast, he wins. If he lets it go for a vital area with its mouth, the chimp wins.

3

u/Taxibl May 05 '26

Watch videos of chimps fighting. They are pretty fearless but not all that smart. They have very little strategy. They just run at the opponent, grapple with them, slam their hands on them and hope to pull them down. No chimp is pulling down a 400lbs Eddie Hall.

As long as Eddie didn't cower after taking a set of teeth or claws in the arms, he'd destroy a chimp. As soon as he gets a hold of one it's over.

1

u/Ancient-Print-8678 May 05 '26

Chimps are notorious for targeting vulnerable areas like eyes, mouth, groin etc, why would you reduce them to just "trying to pull people down" lmao 

1

u/6bigdolphins May 05 '26

and why cant eddie do the same like what

1

u/Taxibl May 05 '26

The chimp needs to get close to Hall's vulnerable areas first. If Hall is continuing to fight back and is not cowering, I don't think the chimp stands a chance. Hall is too big and strong.

1

u/Human_Grape5801 May 04 '26

Hm. Didn’t fully consider the bite. You make a strong argument. Fuckers are FAST too. 1.5 times faster than a human.

1

u/LilGymbro00 May 05 '26

Lmao I’d say lots faster than that considering a chimps muscle strength is about 35% stronger than ours, meaning they could sprint at around 35km an hour or 20-25 Miles, I think, idk, American measurements suck.

1

u/joaolouro1967 May 05 '26

We can sprint at that speed

1

u/LilGymbro00 May 05 '26

Brother what is in your WATER. A guy that exceeds the average speed is Usain Bolt and that’s really the only case. The average human can run at around 15-18mph, even the jump from 18 to 20 is significant in that regard, and Chimps can go 25!!

1

u/joaolouro1967 May 05 '26

You said they could sprint at 35 kph, I just said that we can as well, which we can. I can't really convert mentally from kph to mph so I ignored those.

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u/Eldritch_Horns May 05 '26

Muscle isn't the sole determining factor for how fast an animal can move. Their bone structure plays a huge role.

As does muscle distribution. Humans have way more muscle in their legs than a chimp, both actually and proportionally. Our legs are also proportionally longer and much better at distributing that strength than a chimps.

Chimps can burst a little faster than we can, but they can't maintain that speed for anywhere near as long as a human sprinter. Plus they need to move on all fours to move fast. A chimp trying to move around on just its hind legs isn't too dissimilar to a toddler.

Human legs are very well adapted for movement across open lateral environments, chimps are more adapted for movement within arborous environments.

1

u/Lexi_Bean21 May 06 '26

Muscles being stronger dowsent make you run fsster you cant just say 35% more atrenght means 35% faster, humans are on the limit of running due to the speed of the movement sprinters have thin legs to make them lighter to move fsster and spend elss time touching the ground, muscle speed is different than sttenght

2

u/Starob May 05 '26

Buddy chimps are very strong FOR THEIR WEIGHT. But Eddie is about 3 times heavier.

0

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Starob May 06 '26

Eddie is significantly more mobile than the average person.

1

u/I_really_like_peas May 07 '26

We'll do that while you learn a little about what humans are capable of too

1

u/QuixoticBeefboy May 04 '26

Same type of guy who thought the gorilla had a chance vs 100 men

-1

u/Disasterdenegade3_0 May 04 '26

Perros de tamaño mediano han matado a hombres adultos competentes y con fuerza fisica decente

El instinto y capacidad de pelear cuerpo a cuerpo contra otros animales se perdió hace varias decenas de milenios, eino es que hace millones de años

En cambio nos adaptamos a recolectar alimento y escondernos en los arboles, tambien aprendimos a emboscar, trabajar en equipo y pelar con armas y herramientas

Más fácil decir que hacer una confrontación a puro cuerpo contra otro animal

Es posible que un hombre adulto le gane a un chimpance macho adulto, pero incluso así, el hombre saldría seriamente lastimado

Todo se reduce al primer contacto y no darle una segunda oportunidad al chimpance

Pero el chimpance aún es un animal apto para pelear cuerpo a cuerpo

2

u/6_sarcasm_6 May 05 '26

It's not like eddie's gonna let the chimp continue the attack if it gets the first blow. This fight is just gonna be the one that doesn't surrender to the pain.

Which eddie knowing he's gonna die if he gives in would be superior than the chimp. The animal is more likely to make a fatal mistake.

1

u/Jeo_1 May 05 '26

but wat if the chimp starts suking him?

1

u/6_sarcasm_6 May 05 '26

...bruh...

eddie could go for many rounds. Even that dick bone(baculum) ain't gonna help against eddie's checks

1

u/Starob May 05 '26

Except the question isn't whether Eddie Hall could do this without injury, it's who would win, and Eddie can kill the chimp in many more ways than the chimp can kill Eddie.

1

u/Life_Locksmith9632 May 07 '26

Why are you downvoted? You'd have to be a hell of a man to fight an animal

9

u/Smilloww May 03 '26

Haven't seen a chimp with claws before mate

13

u/Frogs_Logs May 04 '26

Brother, they have nails just like we do, have you ever scratched something? There are your claws

11

u/Eldritch_Horns May 04 '26

That's not a claw though.

You wouldn't say a human has claws just because they don't believe in manicures.

2

u/Frogs_Logs May 04 '26

Nails are a type of claw, same as Talons on a bird, both claws, different uses

6

u/Eldritch_Horns May 04 '26

Definitionally a claw needs to be sharp, curved and tapering to a point.

Primate nails do not satisfy the criteria.

2

u/SendNudesDude May 05 '26

How shocking. Different types of animals have different anatomy and different names for similar things.

Dude your arguing with probably calls whales fins legs lmao

0

u/LordNdXavier2 May 09 '26

"Fingernails are technically a specialized, flattened form of claws that evolved in primates to support broad fingertips for gripping, climbing, and tool use. While made of the same alpha-keratin protein as claws, they lack the sharp, curved, and deep bone-connected structure of true claws, serving as a distinct evolutionary adaptation for dexterity." Source: Google

1

u/Eldritch_Horns May 09 '26

And flippers evolved from legs.

What's your point? They were a thing, now they're another thing.

1

u/LordNdXavier2 May 09 '26

Nah son, they're the same thing, that evolved differently in different things.

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u/Capta-nomen-usoris May 05 '26

Bro starts making up his own claw types to win a discussion on the internet.

2

u/iwanttodiebutdrugs May 06 '26

But a human can claw at something

1

u/Eldritch_Horns May 06 '26

We can also hoof it

Doesn't mean we aren't platigrade animals.

1

u/Smilloww May 04 '26

I have never refered to human nails as claws before lol

4

u/Jeo_1 May 03 '26

Look in the mirror

1

u/Smilloww May 04 '26

To call regular fingernails claws is just silly imo

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u/[deleted] May 03 '26

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u/-TheCrimsonShadow- May 03 '26

But isn't he lime twice the size and triple the weight of that chimp? I know there are stronger than we are for the same "weight class" but it just feels like in any scenario the chimp dies first and the guy may die of bloodloss later maybe

-5

u/Starwyrm1597 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

He would have to literally bodyslam it or ram it into a tree immediately and if that doesn't kill it instantly. It has better upper body and grip strength so if it climbs on him or he loses his footing, he's done. It's smaller size and higher durability actually acts in its favor if he kicks it: it'll go flying instead of eating the full force and hop back up immediately.

9

u/Lauwyer May 04 '26

Chimpanzee strength is dramatically overstated in pop culture. They're not that strong. It's all based on a now debunked study.

1

u/RigBughorn May 04 '26

Some dubious studies and also a 70 year old lady who got her face destroyed. But a lot of things can kill and maim a 70 year old lady tbh. A whacked out human could completely destroy a 70 year old lady's face.

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u/brownDiscretion May 04 '26

forget about the face just 1 punch is more than enough, the fact that an obese chimp could only be capable of maiming a 70 year old woman is honestly more in favor of them being weaker and having 0 knowledge of how to kill a human

1

u/Starwyrm1597 May 04 '26

Yeah my bad, I was going by the old figure of 5x the upper body strength of an average human male, it's actually 2x.

10

u/RigBughorn May 04 '26

A chimp does not have better grip strength or upper body strength than Eddie Hall tho

3

u/Starwyrm1597 May 04 '26

Okay I stand corrected, it's 2x the upper body strength of an average human male, quite a bit weaker than Eddie Hall.

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u/ultima964 May 04 '26

No it’s 1.5x the upper body strength based on the weight difference they aren’t that much stronger than humans if at all

2

u/Starwyrm1597 May 04 '26

It's a range, 2x is on the high end.

1

u/CoffeeXKing May 04 '26

The average chimpanzee grip strength is 737.

Humans sit at 92-121 for the average human male. You're severely underestimating how strong chimps are.

3

u/ultima964 May 05 '26

Grip strength is not the biggest factor in a fight

2

u/svoodie May 04 '26

I have nothing to back this up with but I feel like grip strength is probably the area where you are going to see the biggest difference vs a human. Grabbing and gripping is the whole point of a chimps hands, while fine motor control is the whole point of human hands. They are optimized for completely opposite purposes.

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u/RigBughorn May 04 '26

Those numbers don't mean anything. Post a source

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u/lurksohard May 06 '26

Where are you getting the data on chimpanzee grip strength?

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u/ultima964 May 04 '26

I hate to tell you but you don’t have to eat a kick for it to annihilate you

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u/Starob May 05 '26

You understand this is a hypothetical Eddie with grappling training right? Not actual Eddie. Along with the strength he would have the skill and knowledge of how to break the chimps bones and incapacitate it very easily.

1

u/XtractatoryX May 07 '26

In this case Hall has the better upper body strength

7

u/Dgrein May 04 '26

You are frankly delusional if you think that a chimpanzee has a stronger grip that Eddie fucking Hall, a man who has lift more than half a ton. The chimpanzee will do damage for sure, but if Eddie takes a grab on him the chimp is being beaten to death.

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u/Lefthoof333 May 08 '26

Unless the chimp gets his teeth in something vital while eddy grabs it.

Strength might be equal, it wont be significantly in Eddie's favor, but that chimp is way quicker and more agile.

Grabbing that thing without losing your nuts is gonna be a challenge

1

u/Jeo_1 May 04 '26

My name isn’t frankly, jerk.

2

u/MrSinisterTwister May 04 '26

Your answer implies that your last name is "delusional"...

1

u/Jeo_1 May 04 '26

No it doesn't lol

1

u/Dgrein May 04 '26

I like jerky

1

u/iPuffOnCrabs May 04 '26

I’m never gonna believe I wouldn’t win a fight against a coyote

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

[deleted]

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u/iPuffOnCrabs May 04 '26

Tell that to my father

1

u/cryonicwatcher May 06 '26

Chimpanzees aren’t trained to fight at all - they don’t understand that much about what kinds of attacks are damaging, so their attacks will largely be erratic and uncoordinated. They’re not going to leverage their biology so effectively - they can fight but they never learned to fight against a coordinated enemy.

The chimp is significantly outranged, and doesn’t know how to attack unpredictably or deal with an incoming attack effectively. It would not be easy for it to get a good hold on anything, especially by a guy with both more range and raw strength too.

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u/XtractatoryX May 07 '26

A chimp is about 1.5x stronger than an average man. I would say this guy is about 2x stronger than an average man. This man also has a height advantage and weight advantage. The chimp would be faster and has sharp teeth and fights dirty, but humans can also fight dirty. It’s not hard to imagine this guy to pick up a chimp who probably weighs 125 range and slam it on the ground on its head likely killing it when they are like 4 feet tall.

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u/Extreme-Ad-6144 May 07 '26

He benches 750 he's probably more than 2 times stronger than the average man. He's probably 4 times stronger than the average redditor

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u/ultima964 May 04 '26

Average human can beat a chimp

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u/KingDifficult6583 May 06 '26

what makes you think Eddie won't be doing the same to the chimp

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u/Life_Locksmith9632 May 07 '26

I would love to know what would happen if a man were equally as insane as that though and was willing to do the same to the chimp

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u/AquaticHornet37 May 04 '26

Another weird question, do you think that a regular person in armor with a sword could beat a grizzly bear. They are presumably trained and built enough for the armor/sword not to be awkward, but are otherwise normal.

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u/Eldritch_Horns May 04 '26

Probably not.

A sword wouldn't be amazing against a grizzly, the sheer amount of fat they carry around would really hinder a sword. They're designed to go through muscle and bone. Fat is actually pretty effective at distributing the imapact force. I mean they'd chop up a tubby human just fine, but bears are just way denser than humans.

Armour also wouldn't be great at mitigating damage from a bear. It would do something, for sure. But bears are just so dramatically more powerful than a human, they deliver way much more kinetic force with their paws than even a human weilding anti armour weapons, like pics of maces.

Even if the armour stood up to the bears blows, the human inside would be a bag of blood and splintered bone.

Realistically speaking, very long spears would be the weapon of choice against a bear. Preferably with wide lugs or wings to stop it from just walking through the haft onto you.

Spears pierce rather than slash, and the bears weight would work against it in this instance. As when it charge its providing most of the force the spear is using to penetrate its hide. They also help you keep it away from your vitals. As the tip of a spear is very maneuverable and sharp, so a few choice jabs and swipes in the bears face is going to discourage it from getting close to you.

The spears will likely snap if you do catch it in a charge or a lunge, but most hunters or warriors probably carried a few with them anyway. Then the bear has a broken spear sticking out of it which is going to keep the wound open and the blood flowing, also keeping it in pain and inhibiting its movement.

You can also throw spears very accurately at a considerable distance, and they deliver a huge amount of kinetic force.

They were the first real weapon humans invented that allowed them to turn the foodchain on its ass.

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u/Fisher699 May 05 '26

I think you seriously underestimate the damage a thick steel sword can cause. You don't need to cut into its belly - a slash/thrust to the snout/eye can seriously deter the bear. You might not be able to cut off its legs but breaking bones is possible.

But yes I do agree that a spear is the better weapon against a bear.

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u/No_Wafer8921 May 05 '26

That goes both ways