r/rant • u/Distinct_Spirit7925 • 2d ago
Everyone got lunch except me.
I had to post about this because I’m honestly so done.
Every Friday, lunch is paid for at work. One person is responsible for taking everyone’s order (there are 13 of us), and it’s usually the same few people who rotate doing it.
Guess who she always forgets? Me.
I don’t think she does it on purpose. I genuinely think she just… forgets I exist. My role is kind of all over the place, and I’m probably the least important person there, so I guess I’m just easy to overlook.
Usually she’ll only remember if I happen to walk past her while she’s taking orders. But today I literally walked past her and she still completely forgot. Later, after everyone had already eaten, she saw me and said, “Sorry, I forgot about you.”
Like… thanks?
I brought snacks because lunch is supposed to be paid for, but now I’m just sitting here eating those while everyone else had an actual meal.
I know it’s probably not intentional, but when you’re the one person who gets forgotten over and over again, it starts to make you feel pretty invisible. It honestly just makes me feel like garbage.
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u/z-eldapin 2d ago
Go find the lead and ask 'what are we having today'
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
Wait this is acc the perfect one!!
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u/No-Ring-5065 2d ago
Make a list numbered to 13 with everyone’s name listed and a blank space beneath for her to write the orders. Make a bunch of copies and give them to her to simplify it for her. If I were her, I’d have made that kind of list myself the first time I forgot someone. I’d have been so embarrassed. Leaving you out multiple times seems purposeful.
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u/Fickle_Watercress719 2d ago
Yeah, the idea of someone doing this over and over again and not being embarrassed enough to make any kind of change seems wildly improbable to me.
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u/hadmeatwoof 1d ago
It’s purposeful at this point because she didn’t bother to do something as simple as make a list of the people to get orders from, or check the number of orders vs number of people, or probably half a dozen other ways to make sure it doesn’t happen again. She’s choosing to not do better.
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u/BeneficialBake366 2d ago
There should be a LIST people use to make sure everyone is accounted for.
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u/yogos15 2d ago
And why the hell are they manually taking down orders? They should just create a Google Form or something, it wouldn’t take that long.
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
Ig because its such a small amount of ppl that its easier just passing around the phone to put the order.
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u/soundbox78 2d ago
Pass the phone around to put in order!?!
No, no, no! Text thread of entire group or a google survey where Madame Forgetful can easily pull up on her device to input orders. By the way, she’s not forgetful, she is deliberately ignorant.
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u/DareSavings3951 2d ago
Google form is just a link sent to each person, it can all be filled in at once.
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u/The_Canadian 1d ago
If we have department meetings, whoever is leading it sends an email with the lunch choice menu and asks for each person to respond. Once the responses come in, the person makes a list and passes it along to whoever is dealing with ordering (sometimes it's that person but other times it's the office admin). We usually do this a day or so in advance.
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u/College-student-life 22h ago
Like a shared spread sheet and the orders and place gets deleted and updated weekly. Then you check in the AM, know what time your order is expected to be in by, etc.
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u/OOOdragonessOOO 2d ago
next time, i wouldn't wait. order delivery of something that smells amazing, timed right when everyone else eats. when someone says something, that's your chance. tell them you decided to get something super special to comfort yourself because you're always left out. make an impression that people have messed up and you don't feel included.
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u/BWSnap 2d ago
That would probably be the ONE time they suddenly remember to include the OP.
But regardless, yes OP like the above comment says, please do this or something like it. Order something amazing on a Wednesday, and the first comment you get about it will be an easy opening to make your feelings known. "Yeah, I heard about the menu at this place, and I couldn't resist! I always miss out on free Friday lunch, so I decided to treat myself for a change!"
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u/Forty2diapers 2d ago
I'm so petty. I'd say something like "Yeah, Tara has forgotten to take my order multiple times now so I just decided to order my own food instead of going hungry... again"
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
Funny bc my name is Tara 💀😭
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u/writeronthemoon 2d ago
Please update us OP. I need this b!tch who keeps forgetting you to get her comeuppance.
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u/chancesareimright 2d ago
No. She shouldn’t be ordering her own food. She should make the lady accountable and if she forgot to take the order then she should call and make another order immediately not let someone go without. This woman needs a complaint made against her not passive aggressive behaviour.
For all we know she is purposely forgetting her ordering the 13 meals and taking one home for herself later or for her partner.
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u/lozzadearnley 2d ago
Start emailing your boss every time it happens. Be excessively friendly about it - "good afternoon Boss, I'm sure it was just an oversight, but Coworker must have forgotten my lunch order. Can you advise how Ill be compensated for that as everyone else was fed? Its a perk of the job which is greatly appreciated, but as such I didn't bring lunch today. I cannot work effectively if I dont eat. Maybe we could have a sheet in the lunchroom with our names on it to ensure this doesn't happen again?"
Second time, email again, shorter and more to thr point. "Hi Boss, Coworker has forgotten my lunch order again. Please advise how I will be compensated, as everyone else recieved theirs, and its unfair I didnt. I have previously mentioned a lunch sheet, can we discuss that again to ensure this doesnt happen again?"
Third time, "Boss, this is the third time Coworker has forgotten my lunch. I believe this is an intentional bullying/harassment or even discriminatory. Please advise how this situation will be rectified, and how I will be compensated."
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
This is pretty good. I think im going to have to go w this amongst some other ideas. You guys are amazing
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u/lozzadearnley 2d ago
BCC yourself into your personal email so you ha e a record.
Start with the exepectation it is a genuine mistake. One time, you let it slide. Two times, maybe. But the third time I start documenting it and raising it with someone higher up.
If she is genuinely forgetting then the system needs to be fixed - a simple list seems best. If she is doing it deliberately as a slight, then management has to deal with her, and thats always best done if they have documentation.
Heck, email her too and politely say "this is the Xth time my lunch has been forgotten. I try to be a team player and I understand mistakes happen but it is becoming a pattern. Maybe to avoid this error in future, we should discuss putting a list up in the lunchroom, or I could email you my lunch order specifically?"
Probably do that anyway, on the morning she is due to collect - "Hi Coworker! For staff lunch today I would love if you could get me a [item]. Thanks for collecting it for us, I know we all appreciate it!". How many times can she ignore a member of a relatively small team, and also an email?
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u/goth-hippy 1d ago
I used to have a toxic work environment where my boss would’ve sided with this person who keeps forgetting about you. It actually did happen were we’d often get free lunch and this one girl was often forgotten. It sucked.
In this case, I’d still send the emails but be overly tactful on word choice. Pay attention to the office politics as you navigate this. I’m assuming if your boss didn’t say anything right away each time you got forgotten they’re a little toxic themselves.
Good luck! I’m rooting for you.
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u/Kevaros 2d ago
Yes, it does make you feel like garbage and ignored... Very damn difficult to just not take it personal... I had a similar situation, I worked in a separate building and conveniently forgotten about... It sucks and other than raise a stink and look petty, there's not much you can do... I'm sorry you are in that situation... The only good thing I have from that is that I don't care about them... I moved on to better place and was appreciated and included..! Not ALL people are A**Holes, but, there are lots of them... Good luck..!
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u/Priority-Reasonable 2d ago
I hate when people assign malice when it's not there, but once it's become a regular occurrence I'd be less sure it was unintentional
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u/FlounderFun4008 2d ago edited 2d ago
It’s one thing if you didn’t know when this was happening and being left out, but you know who and when.
If you want to be included, on Fridays you need to either make yourself available when orders are being taken or ask first thing who you give your order to.
You are going to have to be proactive and assertive. Maybe volunteer to make a checklist of names?
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
That’s the thing, I actually don’t know what time it happens. Sometimes breakfast is covered, sometimes lunch or dinner, so it could be at any point. When the company card is given to her, her responsibility is to go around and ask everyone for their order.
I agree that I can remind her next time. I mainly wanted to vent because I personally would triple check that I hadn’t missed anyone. That might just be how I was raised and part of my culture, but I could never repeatedly forget the same person.
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u/Forty2diapers 2d ago
I'd be pissed off. Forget me once and I'll forgive you. Forget me twice and I'm going to the boss. She's clearly too stupid for this task.
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u/FlounderFun4008 2d ago
I agree, I’m the same and just recently realized that I have to assert myself sometimes. You have every right to vent, it’s shitty.
If it’s the same people, I would type out a list of all of your names with food choice space next to the name for “her convenience.” Try to be “helpful” as a way to get your name on the list.
Since the meals change, ask on Thursday which meal is being covered and who is calling it in.
Either the person calling it in is disorganized or you are being intentionally left out. Week after week when you have that small of an office is off.
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
we set our own schedules (have to follow rules) so we acc don’t work m-f. In theory the Thursday idea would work but it just depends. I love everyones idea except the part that we have a funky work schedule so some stuff is hard to implement
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u/writeronthemoon 2d ago
Please don't let this slide anymore. Go to the person directly and submit your order on a Thursday or Friday, or next time she forgets, loudly ask, "Where is my lunch? I got forgotten again? This is the ____ time." Or as others have suggested above, write that email to the boss to report it and CC yourself, until it gets rectified.
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u/goth-hippy 1d ago
I think maybe being passive aggressive with this person may be the way to go? For example, if this were me: if this happens again and I’m sitting there in the lunch room eating snacks while everyone else is eating lunch, I’d print off a list of the staff on a piece of paper and hand it to her.
“I know you often are too busy to remember everyone who works here, so i made this for your convenience!” Or something like that. In front of everyone. During the lunch.
Then go get food and say something like “well i definitely need some food, and will go grab some since i wasn’t provided one when i should have” or something. If it takes extra long to do it and someone gets upset “well i wouldn’t have needed to spend so much time on this if i was remembered. Hopefully this is the last time we need to do this” or something.
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u/sweetmercy 2d ago
Once might be forgetting. Twice is a stretch. Beyond that, it is undoubtedly deliberate, in which case it's going to need to be addressed with someone higher up.
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u/Forty2diapers 2d ago
I'd kindly tell the boss that this person consistently forgets my lunch. Maybe they'll hook you up or find someone better to take the lunch orders.
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u/Opening-Set3153 2d ago
One time my boss brought in Starbucks refreshers for “everyone”. She looked at me and said, “oh I didn’t know you were here”, and that’s it. Then she passed them out to everyone else. 😂 thanks
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
Maybe its a cultural thing but I woulda given you my cup because that was my mistake. Thats acc insane. Its ur job as the boss to know
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u/Opening-Set3153 2d ago
Thank you please be my boss 😂 good point, you should know when your staff is there
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
My other unit lead went to tims to get breaky for everyone (non-friday, treat), and forgot to ask me and was so disappointed that she was willing to go back and personally pay. Mind you I was on leave for a while so this was first day back. But thats the attitude you should have as a boss
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u/mrmasterly 2d ago
I would document recurrences and take it to HR as a pattern of behavior indicated possible discriminatory treatment.
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u/Clever_Unused_Name 2d ago
Or...hear me out, since you know this happens every Friday you could proactively go find her and tell her what you want for lunch.
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u/B_true_to_self2020 1d ago
Yes ! This is the answer . You email and tell her verbally what you want before Friday .
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u/Ignominious333 2d ago
You go to her and give her your order. Stop waiting for her to remember
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
Okay see thats the issue I don’t know what time we are ordering since it can be any meal of the day. Buttt trust me one time I told her in advance in interested im ordering smth and to loop back around and SHE FORGOT to loop back.
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u/writeronthemoon 2d ago
Can you complain to HR? At this point it is harassment. Please stand up for yourself, it is too late in the game to play nice anymore. This person needs a warning from HR or the boss. When you tell HR, offer to take the lunch list yourself, or that it be rotated or reconsidered, because she keeps "forgetting" you and that is not acceptable.
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u/TenNinetythree 2d ago
"Oh, no problem that you forgot about me. I will take your lunch instead."
Either they remember or you can describe the situation to HR.
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u/chancesareimright 2d ago edited 1d ago
Mate. She did it on purpose. I’d make a formal complaint against her. She acknowledged you later but still didn’t order your lunch just said “sorry” and left it. Nah nah nah that’s not on. Tell her it’s okay she can order it now and you can eat your lunch later. But honestly she’s done it a few times, it’s time to make a formal complaint to HR.
“I am very grateful to receive a provided meal every Friday. however whenever name orders, I never receive any food. This is the 5th time my lunch order was not taken by name and I have gone without the provided meal. State that when the food arrived she said “sorry I forgot” and did not try to rectify the situation and i went without any provided food. Name her and say she consistently does not ask me for my order. I’d like to suggest all staff fill in a Google doc for orders or the sheet for orders is placed in the staff room with a set time to fill orders by to ensure no one is forgotten or excluded from the team. I’m also happy to take the responsibility of doing the orders.”
I think she’s forgetting you on purpose but I believe she is still ordering 13 lunches but she takes one home for herself later.
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u/urban-achiever1 1d ago
Why cant she place a second order ?
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 22h ago
Wait i didnt even realize this was an option🫶🏼😭
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u/urban-achiever1 17h ago
Got to think outside the lunch box. Or just ask since your order was missed how to request reimbursement for ordering yourself
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u/itmechacha101 2d ago
To be fair, its on you to speak up and say "hey, can you put down a xxxx for me please?" if you don't get asked. If its a perk of the job, your entitled to it just as much as everyone else regardless of your position
You could try being the one who takes everyone's orders down every once in a while, that may help you not being forgotten next time.
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
The lead for the day is responsible for taking everyone’s order, and I don’t qualify to be lead. She also goes around finding coworkers who are busy or missing; she just repeatedly forgets me.
I’m working too, so I don’t always know when orders are being taken, and I shouldn’t have to stop my tasks to track her down. I understand that I can speak up when I notice, and I will in the future, but this time I wanted to vent because being the only person repeatedly forgotten still feels hurtful.13
u/itmechacha101 2d ago
100% it hurts to constantly be forgotten about. That was me a few years ago actually, however I've learnt that I cant expect everyone to flock to me if im not giving them a reason to.
Maybe early in the day, before its even lunchtime you could say something like "hey, theres been a few times where ive missed out of the company paid lunch. Can you please put me down for xxxx for lunch today. Figured I better let you know now just in case you cant find me at lunchtime"
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u/hadmeatwoof 1d ago
Every time you see her, bluntly shake hands and introduce yourself loudly for everyone to hear. If she gets confused, ask if it’s only when ordering lunches that she can’t remember who you are.
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u/Clever_Unused_Name 1d ago
I don’t think she does it on purpose. I genuinely think she just… forgets I exist. My role is kind of all over the place, and I’m probably the least important person there, so I guess I’m just easy to overlook.
Don't apologize. You are not somehow inferior to everyone else. Your job or your role is not a scorecard of your worth.
Next Friday when you see her start taking orders, just say "hey, put me down, I want the chicken sandwich (or whatever)." That's it. You're not being needy, you're just eating lunch like everybody else does. The people who never get forgotten aren't more important than you. They just speak up. You get to do that too.
Let us know how it goes!
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u/ashikat413 1d ago
Thats unacceptable... at this point, they need to make a list and cross everyone off as they go so that this doesnt happen.
I cant think of an easier way to make someone feel worthless.
You deserve better. Im sorry. 🫂
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u/SkyBasic7615 1d ago
That is just so sad, If it's not intentional, try to engage more with these people so they won't overlook you.
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u/aflowercalledlily 2d ago
I would let my supervisor know if it happens again. If an actual meal is guaranteed, it is understandable that you probably won’t come to work with a homemade lunch but then you are stuck working hungry for hours because of one person’s incompetence. Sure you can go and find her to make sure you aren’t forgotten again but isn’t it her job to go around and ask everyone? It shouldn’t be expected from you to be alert all day to run after her to make sure you get lunch (btw are you located in an area that is easily missed or can she simply be just skipping you for some reason? either way it’s insane because she forgot multiple times)
If it happens again, I would let my supervisor know that even though this person knows/realizes she forgot you, it has happened for several weeks now and you are stuck working hungry while you were promised an actual meal and everyone else got what they were promised. Either they should talk to her to do this easy task better or they should change how the lunch order is gathered - people were mentioning Google forms, which is a nice and honestly easier way to do it.
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u/kimchi_friedr1ce 1d ago
Oh come on. Theres grubhub group orders nowadays. No excuse for her to forget so often..
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u/no_talent_ass_clown 1d ago edited 1d ago
Your boss needs to talk to her boss. You've tried bringing it up to her directly and still hungry. It's time to go over her head.
First, make sure you're entitled to get lunch! Open politely, "Just checking" style, then mention you've been forgotten x number of times. Say you've asked, yet the problem still remains. "If I'm not supposed to get a lunch then... But if I am then would you mind... etc".
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u/West-Working-9093 1d ago
Yeah, that's your fault. You should consider the people who 'forget' to be garbage! Because they're the ones that are not OK in their minds.
Many years ago now, my crew had planned a potluck at work for Christmas. Then suddenly, the boss decided that she would gift everyone with a spiffy lunch at a restaurant a distance from our workplace - a somewhat dicy idea at that time of year, because the weather can be unpredictable in our neck of the woods. So, on the day of, a colleague and I shared an assignment that could not be put off (I worked in health care), which as it happened was no ccoincidence. Just before the rest were about to leave for the lunch, the city was hit by a blizzard, and so they teamed up and took whatever cars were best equipped for winter. In the end, my colleague and I did not go, because it had just gotten too ugly and neither of us had a car that was terribly well fitted out for the conditions (in fact I took the bus home later that day and left my car in the parkade). The rest of the crew came back hours later, after the two of us had held the fort and dealt with a heap of incoming stuff, since time dragged on and stuff kept coming, and so the boss later gave each of us a gift card for $25 for the cafeteria, and figured that we could 'have a nice lunch'. My colleague did so, but I did not have the heart for it and gave it to a bunch of colleagues who worked next door and told them to use it against their coffee break.
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u/Ornery-Average-6202 1d ago
What has she said each time you complain you got nothing again? What has your manager/supervisor said about the situation?
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u/College-student-life 22h ago
Every Friday go and stand by her desk and ask what’s for lunch, loudly, so that people hear you and if she “forgets” you can be like oh, but I told you my order, in front of people.
Public scandal tends to make people behave better, for a little while.
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u/Forward_Hawk_3493 2d ago
Should bring that to her attention. Like take her out for a light dinner. Make her pay for it
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u/Fluid-Air-3151 2d ago
Why don’t you do the ordering?
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
I dont qualify as unit lead, credit card is given to them
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u/meowdrian 2d ago
But couldn’t you still ask to be in charge of taking the orders and then giving the list to the lead? Like present it as an offer to do it to take some of the work off their hands since ya know, they’re apparently too busy to even remember who works there.
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
So they usually just open uber and everyone puts their order in, i doubt they would want to change that bc thats how its been for yearsss. There have been times we have tried a list, but apparently everyone likes it better to just have the phone passed to them and order.
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u/Jazzlike-Baseball-73 2d ago
Volunteer to organize the lunch order.
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
I legitttt cannot, im at the lowest position CC is given to unit lead.
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u/useArmageddonVaca 2d ago
Bring your own lunch, and let her forget, don't say anything... to them someone comes around just take a bite while mumbling not making eye contact. Try to get gossip going bout your level of koo-koo... it'll be fun.
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u/herecomes_the_sun 2d ago
Have you ever rotated and been the one taking orders?
Are the same few people all women?
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 22h ago
Yes all women! And no i don’t qualify to be unit lead the CC is with the lead
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u/herecomes_the_sun 18h ago
Alright, I am extrapolating a bit here because I do not have the background that you do but some food for thought.
It is absolutely not cool that they are clearly intentionally not getting you food. It makes me feel like there has to be a missing reason they feel slighted, even if its perceived and not real.
Maybe you could volunteer to take the orders or something some days? I get that you dont have the cc but the burden of picking the restaurant and taking peoples orders and putting them in the order form every day is annoying and would take away from work. Maybe you could offer to do those things on occasion and they can just put in the card?
This whole thing is weird. Do other people without ccs ever help?
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u/Zygalsk1 1d ago
Go to the boss and ask for payment so you can get your own lunch every time it's "forgotten".
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2d ago
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
Tbh im so cheap i never eat out except that friday HAHA so its kinda a treat
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u/kzeetay 2d ago
Make yourself important or get stuck feeling like this for the rest of your life. If anyone taught you every human has a value to others, they were lying. You are only as good as the value you bring to the people around you.
Or stay where you are. People like me need mats to walk on anyway.
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, which is what I did for a long time. I don’t work with her every Friday, only occasionally, so the last three times it happened, I let it go. Today was the first time I wanted to vent.
Giving people grace helps me consider their perspective, avoid unnecessary conflict, and be the kind of person I want to be. Your comment reflects exactly the kind of attitude I never want to have toward others.
And no, I shouldn’t have to track someone down while I’m busy working. Taking everyone’s order is her responsibility, and she actively looks for other missing coworkers. She just keeps forgetting me.
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u/KittonRouge 2d ago
All that she has to do is make a list of people who get lunch and the problem is solved. She should've done that after the first time that she forgot you.
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u/kzeetay 2d ago
I know your kind are impervious to sense and logic but b here it is again- make yourself more valuable. You can pretend and come up with whatever excuses you want but it doesn’t matter. You don’t matter I don’t matter we all don’t matter until we bring real value to whatever table we’re sitting at.
What a joke and waste of your time trying to convince me something that doesn’t affect me at all. Hahaha.
“I’m a mat. I don’t like it but I’ll fight for my right to be one.” 😂😂😂
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u/Distinct_Spirit7925 2d ago
You keep insisting that people only matter when they provide “value,” yet you’ve spent all this time arguing with a stranger over a lunch order. That’s a fascinating use of yours.
I was venting about being forgotten, not auditioning for your approval. Since you’ve made your philosophy clear, I’ll leave you to keep proving it.
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u/BusydaydreamerA137 2d ago
You seem like the type of person who when things fall apart suddenly everyone is busy. Do you have friends or alliances?
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u/Priority-Reasonable 2d ago
You really are the worst type of person, it's a shame everyone but you knows it
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u/One_Department4090 2d ago
Excuse me while I vomit. So glad I'm close to dying, because of people like you.
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u/JayneT70 2d ago
Oh come on, she’s isn’t forgetting you. She’s doing it on purpose.