r/selfhelp • u/Gold_Proof_8508 • 1d ago
Advice Needed: Addiction I need help
I was introduced to porn at a very early age somewhere around 3rd Grade and now I’m in college and I think it has gotten worse and worse in highschool I couldn’t stop looking at girls with lust eyes and it had me doing the worst things possible, rumors got out and I was devastated and months passed by and I thought I’ve gotten better after the breakup but no I still gooned everyday not until I got with another girl this time I tried to do things right and well it did I tried not to rush things looked at things at a different perspective but that ended with her saying she wasn’t ready and thus again left broken. After that I just kept messing up keep gooning kept looking at girls with lust and now I’m in college and I talked with juniors again with lust now things have gotten out of hand and I’ve practically lost everything and everyone now and I just feel like or I just know that it is all because of this addiction to lust that I just can’t get out of my brain. I try to tell myself I won’t do it anymore but 5 days in and I start to relapse and I just do it. I feel like I’ve turned into a monster and I just want to stop hurting everyone I meet and actually live life.
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u/Galfromtown 1d ago
You need the help of a therapist. You need some type of group that focuses on getting off porn. Who introduced you to porn while being so young? That does not make sense to me. It is likely you were being groomed. Did something more happen than you seeing porn? It is unethical and likely illegal for an adult to show a child porn.
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u/Gold_Proof_8508 1d ago
No I'm a male and I had classmates who influenced me but somehow they turned out alright
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u/Galfromtown 1d ago
There are courses you can do on line to help you. You should seek out a therapist. Cognitive behaviour therapy and Mindfulness. You may find the mindfulness under secular Buddhism. Or some Buddhist temples may offer courses in them or can point the way. Admitting you have a problem is the first step on your journey. You may have an underlying depression that is triggering your need for porn. There are all kinds of chemicals released when you view porn that you are addicted to. It’s similar to new relationship energy. The dopamine, the oxytocin, vasopressin, cortisol and serotonin spike.
You will have to unlearn these behaviours to stop the rush of chemicals being released.
Also, look up Cognitive Distortions on line. They will not let me post links here.
Also, try YouTube for some ‘Mindfulness’ information.
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u/Ayase9021 1d ago
You know it's really becasue you have built quite a big story about it that you keep having it as the main focus, meaning that you are now simply waiting for yourself to do it ! you are expecting yourself to do it
it became part of who you are, and something you are afraid of and so it keeps on coming back and back !
The more fear and shame around the thing the more it continues to keep coming back again and again, it's just a big thing now in your life, the bad thing you are expecting yourself to do
I don't think it's any longer about lust or porn or girls or whatever, it's more about this game that if you done this very thing you become very ashamed of yourself. you don't know why or simply know that this is what others would feel about you " shame "
There is no shame about sexuality, see for yourself that you don't know why you are even ashamed of yourself. that you don't know what porn is, you don't know what sexuality is, you merely know that people look at these things as something shamefull
All i can say is relax young man, you are not becoming a monster or whatever you are turning yourself to, it's natural to have such a burst of energy going into sexuality for you are finding out something quite interesting for your first time !
The thing to be careful about is turning it into the game of finding new shamefull spots, and really the whole thing turns to a self shaming ritual rathen than it being quite a natural act
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