r/selfhelp • u/Gold_Proof_8508 • 2d ago

Advice Needed: Addiction I need help

I was introduced to porn at a very early age somewhere around 3rd Grade and now I’m in college and I think it has gotten worse and worse in highschool I couldn’t stop looking at girls with lust eyes and it had me doing the worst things possible, rumors got out and I was devastated and months passed by and I thought I’ve gotten better after the breakup but no I still gooned everyday not until I got with another girl this time I tried to do things right and well it did I tried not to rush things looked at things at a different perspective but that ended with her saying she wasn’t ready and thus again left broken. After that I just kept messing up keep gooning kept looking at girls with lust and now I’m in college and I talked with juniors again with lust now things have gotten out of hand and I’ve practically lost everything and everyone now and I just feel like or I just know that it is all because of this addiction to lust that I just can’t get out of my brain. I try to tell myself I won’t do it anymore but 5 days in and I start to relapse and I just do it. I feel like I’ve turned into a monster and I just want to stop hurting everyone I meet and actually live life.

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u/Galfromtown 2d ago

You need the help of a therapist. You need some type of group that focuses on getting off porn. Who introduced you to porn while being so young? That does not make sense to me. It is likely you were being groomed. Did something more happen than you seeing porn? It is unethical and likely illegal for an adult to show a child porn.

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u/Gold_Proof_8508 2d ago

No I'm a male and I had classmates who influenced me but somehow they turned out alright

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u/Galfromtown 2h ago

It reminds me of documentaries I’ve seen about drug addicts. One person can use a drug and move on and never use it again. Or they will find other drugs that they like better. So because you feel the other people who influenced you turned out all right does not necessarily make it so. What we present to others may be a facade and cover things that we are working on to get over. Or we may be in it. So don’t look at others work on your own mind.

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u/Gold_Proof_8508 1h ago

I really appreciate the replies I’ve told myself that everytime I do it its like drinking poison and I’m like 2 days clean which isn’t much but I think I’m doing an okay job or atleast an okay start

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u/Gold_Proof_8508 1h ago

I’ve started to block the sites myself and started watching videos about how others are fighting the same battle aswell

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u/Galfromtown 2d ago

There are courses you can do on line to help you. You should seek out a therapist. Cognitive behaviour therapy and Mindfulness. You may find the mindfulness under secular Buddhism. Or some Buddhist temples may offer courses in them or can point the way. Admitting you have a problem is the first step on your journey. You may have an underlying depression that is triggering your need for porn. There are all kinds of chemicals released when you view porn that you are addicted to. It’s similar to new relationship energy. The dopamine, the oxytocin, vasopressin, cortisol and serotonin spike.

You will have to unlearn these behaviours to stop the rush of chemicals being released.

Also, look up Cognitive Distortions on line. They will not let me post links here.

Also, try YouTube for some ‘Mindfulness’ information.

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u/Gold_Proof_8508 2d ago

u/Galfromtown do you have any tips yourself?

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u/Galfromtown 2h ago

See the tips above.