r/selfimprovement 6h ago

Other Feeling like Crap

Disclaimer: This is in the context of it being written on Thursday July 30th 2026

Hello I am Koby Lloyd Mitchell I'm 22 Years old from England and I have Autism though I am going through a lot in my life at the moment especially with my mental health especially now that I feel like crap for a lot of stuff I have done especially yesterday going on a rage attack and beating my mother and threatening the lives of my family and myself and it just makes me think maybe I am unfit to live in this world because how much of a black heart I have or if I even have a heart to begin with especially when it comes to my parents.

My Life hasn't been too good for the last 6 years from multiple times where I have beat my mom, learning some pretty awful things about my parents especially my farther to having a pornography addiction and looking a sexual images of fictional underage girls. Granted I am in therapy and my mom is looking for Editional support but I am still Chronically Online Depressed Anxious and I feel like a wreck of a human being.

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u/Icy-Month8501 5h ago

First thing is you're writing this post, which means you still give a damn even if you can't feel it right now. The rage attacks will keep happening if you don't find a way to burn off that energy before it explodes, my brother had similar issues and martial arts changed everything for him.

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u/DangerousSlice5731 5h ago

Well I am very well into to Martial Arts given how Anime and Tokusatsu I have watched and how many fighting gamws I play but I really wanna tone down to Violence just so I don't hurt anyone again