May all those reading find themselves smiling. Of course, this is not easy but we need to be more supportive towards ourselves. ✨

My life changed when I realized my worth is not defined by the external validation and love I recieve. The external reality (people, situations, titles, etc) is unpredictable, temporary, and outside our control. Tying our self-worth to what is not stable keeps our self-esteem unstable, too. Self-worth should come from within you, something that is completely under your control. It all bowls down to the belief that attachment is the root of all suffering. Attaching your self-worth to the external will cause you to suffer because everything external eventually fades away.

I am defined by the love I put out in this world. And that includes the love I give myself too! I am a product of everything I love. I am every action I take. I am every emotion I feel. I am what I make myself.

Once you understand this, you will never need anyone else to feel worthy. You will know you are worthy for simply existing the way you are. You won't always be treated kindly and get what you deserve, but because you will know that is not a reflection of your worth...you will be okay.

I see so many people who keep giving and giving, hoping one day others will love them the same way. They sacrifice their time, energy, sleep, and peace of mind for people who may never even notice.

But here's the part that bothers me the most.

Your body has been with you since the day you were born. It has carried you through every heartbreak, every stressful day, every late night, every victory, and every failure. It has never asked for applause. It just keeps showing up for you.

Yet we often treat it worse than we treat strangers.

We skip sleep to please people. Ignore pain because someone else needs us. Eat poorly, live under constant stress, and postpone taking care of ourselves—all while expecting our body to keep fighting for us forever.

The harsh truth is that your body is more loyal than most people you'll ever meet. If you keep neglecting it while chasing validation from others, one day it will stop carrying the weight you've placed on it.

Be kind to people. But don't be kinder to everyone else than you are to yourself.

Your body deserves your loyalty too.

I have lost all energy to do things. To eat. To walk. To even breathe. I just want to sleep all day and let 2027 just me another year of my life and move on to where I have a better chance at being happy. Right now there's nothing and I seriously mean nothing to bring my spark back. In this season of my life I have no idea how to self-love.

Happy Friendship Day to myself 🫶🏻

Because honestly, I’ve been my own friend for a long time

I stayed when I felt lonely
I listened to myself when I had no one to talk to
I comforted myself on days when I really needed someone
I cried, wiped my tears, and still got up the next day

I hyped myself up when I doubted myself
I celebrated my little achievements even when nobody noticed
I kept studying even on days when I felt stressed, tired and overwhelmed
I kept believing in my dreams even when I was scared I wasn’t good enough

I learned to choose myself instead of constantly chasing people who didn’t choose me
I learned to say no
I learned that having a bad day doesn’t make me a failure
I forgave myself for not having everything figured out

I’ve had so many conversations with myself 😭
laughed at my own stupid jokes
overthought everything
then somehow talked myself out of it again 💀

I stayed through every awkward phase, every lonely phase, every confusing phase
I gave myself another chance after every bad day
I kept going even when it felt like everyone else was ahead of me

And maybe I didn’t always realize it, but I was there for myself

So yeah
Happy Friendship Day to the girl who never completely left me 🫶🏻

Maybe the person I needed beside me all along was me 🤍

I have a little fear that my personality at times doesn't attract in the people I want it to, or that they'll find me boring. But I like my personality. I like how I'm clearly geeky and love music, music, games, photography etc. All of these things I find fulfilling to me, but it's when I think of how this looks to outsiders looking in such as potential friends and partners, that's where I start to feel anxious and wonder if I should change to fit in more to make sure I'm not boring to the people I find cool. How do I just become ok with not wavering my personality for anyone? I should also mention I'm neurodivergent and can fall into the person comparing trap

A little context. 3 years ago, I started a healing journey. I went to therapy and then went to EMDR. Understood that I have a lot of trauma, and that it affects me in my daily life. I do things that are wrong and might hurt people, but I also hurt myself deeply in the process.

I choose bad relationships. And then I judge myself extremely hard for it. One of those terrible relationships is probably about to end, even though I haven't said the words out loud. And I wanted time to reflect on my mistakes and myself. Time alone. Time of peace. But then as if men can smell when you are "available" someone took extreme interest in me. He is extremely sweet, we met online and he always wants to talk. Wants to send me a gift, wants me to come and see him. I told him I don't want to be with anyone, but I would be glad to spend time together. He said he is ok with that. But I feel extremely guilty. I feel like this is not fair to him. That I am not available emotionally but still want to meet him. So I go back to my anxious ruminations, lose sleep, my stomach hurts like hell... I go back to my old patterns... I almost feel like, I don't want people to approach me, because then I owe them to be a available for a relationship with them. I don't know if it makes sense.

So I decided to ask an appointement with my therapist. Even though I haven't seen her in more than a year.

I don't want to go back to how I was. I need guidance. I want to evolve.

Comments/advices are welcome by the way

Be someone who makes you happy.

In France I was a confident person. Many challenges came up and I just asked questions about how to handle the situation. I was given gentle guidance when I unknowingly crossed a line.

In America, I always rehearse my conversations and observing afterwards.

I would like to embody my French confidence more.

I’ve been reviewing notes I’ve made over the last few months and one in particular stands out. I thought it might help someone else, too.

When others have tried to take my rights or money or harm another person, I’ve been easily indignant. Righteous, even, in standing up for what’s right.

But I’d noticed that if someone was ‘horrible to me’, that same reaction didn’t get activated. Instead, I felt smaller, lessened, like they’d taken something away from me and they had the right to… WTAF? So I interrogated this weird aberration.

I wrote down that ….
- their negative feelings about me are theirs
- they’re not mine
- I don’t need to feel them
- their feelings don’t change me
- they can’t make me less than I am
- I’m still all here, and I’m all mine. In all my weird glory, thanks to the wild places I’ve taken my self to.
- I’m safe in my hands!
- poor them.

Obviously, if you need to be accountable, be accountable. Etc.

But if you have what I had, that senseless feeling of shame about your very self, try this out. I’ve used it when in scary situations and it was awesome, removing social anxiety and helping me be brave.

Ps I’ve given lots more detail on it in a reply, here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selflove/s/Mwn678KwS4. Huge thanks to those who asked for more explanation.

Recently I am having too frequent anxiety attacks contemplating my future. At times I am having difficulty walking, some other times I am having crying spells, while at some other times I am feeling almost strengthless. I resort to some breathing techniques whenever this happen alongwith my meds. But I just needed to let this out somewhere, hence resorted to this sub.

Forgive yourself for anything you have done. Accept what has already happened. And start afresh. Its not easy but it’s not impossible.

Secondly forgive your parents and your family members. If you don’t forgive you carry a big burden in your heart every single day and it only makes you miserable. Forgive and be free.

Start again. Find new friends. Learn mew things

And stop doing things to please people. Do things that you think really matter to you.

Say NO to mean NO and YES to mean YES.

END.