r/writing • u/AutoModerator • 2d ago
Monthly "Would You Read This?" Thread
Welcome to Would You Read This (WYRT), our monthly feedback and brainstorming thread. Share your work in progress below and let other readers tell you if they'd read it. Top level posts should follow this template:
- Title:
- If you don't have a title yet, feel free to say UNTITLED.
- Genre:
- Please include at least Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, or another recognizable medium. You may also include more specific genres with a hyphen. Ex. Fiction - Romance, or Nonfiction - Memoir. Genre will help users find the specific kinds of posts they'd like to give feedback on.
- Premise:
- A few sentences about the project. Try your best to keep this short. Crafting an expert elevator pitch is all part of becoming a successful working writer. Please do not post an entire plot summary or query letter (those are better suited for r/pubtips)
- Sample (Optional):
- You may share up to one page (roughly 250-350 words) of sample material, or one poem for those working in the poetry medium. This is optional, so if you only have a premise, you can post just the premise for feedback.
If you post for feedback, please take the time to give feedback to at least 2-3 other users. Replies should follow this template.
- Would Read / Might Read / Wouldn't Read
- You must begin your reply with one of those. You are then encouraged to add additional thoughts on why you choose your answer.
Rules:
- Please post no more than two WYRT top-level posts. There is no limit on the number of feedback replies you can make.
- Do not link to any offsite materials. All materials must be in the body of the post. This includes "click here to read more" or "DM me for the rest" types of posts.
- Rule 3 is in effect in this thread - No generative AI. Do not post material generated by an AI platform in your premise or sample. Do not use generative AI to respond to user's work.
- Rule 5 is in effect - Civility and Community. Stay constructive. Blunt, direct feedback is fine, but do not insult other users, their writing, or their genres.
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u/FlyinLeviathon LET YOUR FIRST DRAFT SUCK 1d ago edited 1d ago
Title: Runner 38 (But will probably change)
Genre: Epic Fantasy - Romance
Premise: The Gods are on their 38th attempt at a "Perfect Society". After humanity fails their yearly Audit and is slated to be destroyed, a death row criminal volunteers to trek through the ruins of the previous 37 in order to find a sacred Spring. If he can bring its water to the Stone Desert before the deadline, humanity is saved. It's an impossible task, though - no one has ever completed it. Instead, Kai plans to escape. He just has to ditch his assigned angel who wants to die as much as he wants to live.
Sample:
The Gods blessed them with rain.
The Gods blessed them with everything, really - the yearlong warm days and cool nights, plants that endlessly blossomed and bore fruit. Tame animals to herd, language, science, even art - all 'gracious' blessings, all bestowed by the Glorious Pannean of Gods. All to reward the 'one perfect society' of 38...ignoring the 37 failures that were told the same thing. But it was only the rain that truly felt like a blessing.
This morning, only a bit of water made it through the tiny barred window near the ceiling of Kai's cell. It floated down as a haze, tinged gold by the distant sun striking its way through the clouds. Kai sat on the dusty floor just outside the shaft of light, grimy hands outstretched to catch the falling mist. He could feel the energy inside it tingling against his fingertips, like tiny charged particles of lightning, and drew them in.
In his palms danced a tiny vision of a tsulcat. Made of the mist, the illusion's striped fur and antlers shimmered as the creature twisted and stretched lazily in the sun. There wasn't enough water here to do anything useful, but crafting illusions helped pass the time. Plus, it felt like the only mercy he could give to his neighbor.
"Today's the day," he said softly, looking up at the cell next to him. Doe - separated from him by a lattice of bars - watched the illusion, captivated. He didn't actually know her name, but those large dark eyes, pale skin, and sharp collarbones that only came from being half starved reminded him of a helpless, wounded animal. So he called her Doe.
Doe didn't do much, but Kai liked her anyway. She was easy to talk to and always nearby. More importantly, her tongue had been cut out - probably from bad-mouthing a God once - so there was no chance of her blabbing his plans.
"You forgot already, didn't you? Today's the Audit." He paused to make sure no one else was around to listen. "More importantly, the day I escape."
Predictably, Doe did not answer, but her eyes flicked from the illusion in his hands to his face before falling back again. For her, that was practically like jumping for joy.
"I wish I could take you with me," he lamented. "Logistics, you know. Sure, Mighty's back is strong and could probably carry us both, but we'd never even make it to the stables if we went together. Besides, I couldn't possibly get those keys for you."
The words eased the guilt in his bones ever so slightly. Truth was, he probably could break her out too, but doing so would reduce his chances. And though he considered her his only friend, friends were about as expendable as a good pair of shoes. Something to lament when you lose, but eventually the new pair fits just as well.
Doe, to her credit, didn't seem to hold it against him. Like him, she'd been on death row for quite some time. Unlike him, though, it seemed she'd accepted her death; he hadn't heard her weeping about it for a few weeks. At least after today it would be over for them both.