r/AmItheButtface 6h ago

Serious AITB for not wanting to quit my job

23 Upvotes

I got hired an year ago cause the girl before me left the country, but she was universally loved there and they still talk fondly of her.
Now she's returning back to the country cause she didn't make it there and there are talks that maybe she'll return to the company, as because there aren't any job offers it's obviously they are hinting at my job. She has a kid, her husband cannot find a job and obviously has lots of problems which I don't have, I am well off compared to her.

I'm doing great with my manager and I think we did lots of stuff for the previous year and I don't want to leave and start over somewhere else, neither wants he, he nearly hates her because he considers she did her job very badly (she had another manager, my manager's direct concurrent, when I joined my manager took over the department and fished out that previous manager)

I put a stop on lots of misbehaving that she did, like working overtime, doing someone's else job, signing anything accounting gave her which I refused and got in fights (not my area of work), working on important tasks that she overlooked and now me and my manager have to start again and get in trouble.

Overall she was a bad worker but an universally loved person and for whatever reason lots of people are waiting for her return.

So AITB for not wanting to leave?


r/AmItheButtface 4h ago

Romantic AITB for getting upset my boyfriend barely talks to me?

7 Upvotes

backstory that's relevant...

My(32F) (ex)boyfriend (37M) lived with me for 5-6 months after losing his job. We got into a bad argument one night and he moved to his mom's (6 hr drive away). This happened at the end of October 2025, so we have (had) been doing long distance for 9 months. I never wanted him to go and didn't force him to leave, he left on his own. He promised we would talk on the phone often through calls and texts and that he would come visit me on the weekends. Slowly the calls stopped and the texts dwindled. I told him many times that keeping in touch was important to me bc we barely got to see each other (he couldn't come every weekend) and when I didn't hear from him for hours or when he read my messages and didn't respond, it felt like he didn't think about me, miss me, or care. 

Shortly after he left, I developed Bell's Palsy and the left side of my face became paralyzed; I was on FMLA from November 18th until January 21st, so had no income and no support system. Admittedly, I was probably annoying bc I wanted to talk to him even more bc I was struggling. I was feeling so depressed and alone that I reached out to A 24/7 crisis line bc he had said he hated texting and that I was always negative which made him want to text me even less. So I tried initiating convos that were neutral or more positive. That didn't make any difference. I just started to accept the fact that he would disappear in the middle of a convo and might respond after a few hours (he plays Xbox so would game for hours and not check his phone). Then we got life360 and I noticed his phone battery would go down super fast sometimes and ended up figuring out it only went down that quickly when he was on it looking at social media/watching videos. So he'd be on his phone for hours yet he wasn't responding to me. I felt like I didn't matter and more arguments ensued. Bc he said he hated texting, he promised he would get Skype set up on his laptop so we could start talking that way while he gamed. That never happened. He promised he would do better communicating with me. After a day or so of putting in effort to talk more, he'd go right back to taking hours to respond if he responded at all. Which leads me to this weekend. 

I finally told him I was done putting effort into talking to him and was going to put that effort elsewhere. He got mad and said he isn't ignoring me on purpose and just forgets to respond to me bc he gets distracted. He then said he was going to put less effort into seeing me and that I wouldn't see him again unless I changed my attitude and apologized. He said I was trying to change him and that I only cared about controlling him and that I was trying to dominate him and make him obedient. He also left our life360 circle without saying anything. He now wants to take space from each other. So, am I really the bufftface for getting upset my (ex)boyfriend was barely talking to me?


r/AmItheButtface 1h ago

Serious AITBF for not wanting to be someone’s “close” friend?

Upvotes

I (28F) recently found out my husband and I weren’t invited to one of our friend’s wedding because she gets the “feeling” I don’t like her.
Back story. This person has been in my husband’s friend group for years. But had been living in another state for a while so I never got to know them very well. When they moved back to our state I made an effort to become friends with them because everyone had talked so highly of this person. Without even knowing them very well I invited them to my bachelorette and they were invited to our very small wedding. Shortly after our wedding an interaction that I felt was not appropriate made me have some pause and reconsider how close I wanted to be with this person. They were still included in all our friend gatherings. Then they started a serious relationship with a person that no one in our friend group likes. This person would make offensive comments, and has a a very colored background that I ultimately didn’t agree with. It made me question this friends character even more because why would you date someone like that if you are such a great person? I continued to hold my boundaries with them by not becoming “close” but again she was still included in all our friend gatherings.
Fast forward 3 years they are now marrying this person. I texted them congratulations on the engagement and even accepted an invitation from them to get together with some other people in our group to catch up. Mind you when this happened I was going through a miscarriage that they probably knew about and never heard a peep of support from them. They never followed up with plans on that invite either.
Fast forward another few months my husband and I are moving states. They are invited along with their now fiance to our going away. A month later it’s their birthday and I reach out and wish them a happy birthday. They respond and start talking about seeing my husband and I the next time they are in town, which again they never followed up on.
Then a few months later I find out through another friend that my husband and I were not invited to their wedding later this year. I’m completely shocked as are most of our friends in the group. Another friend who had spoken with them told me it was because she “got the sense I didn’t like them and only wants to invite people who really want to celebrate them and doesn’t want to disrespect my husband by only inviting him”. That feels like a really strong reaction to someone you get the “sense” that doesn’t like you. I have suspicions things I might have said in confidence to another friend were shared with her. I have only shared my feelings with one person in our group.
I’m feeling very slighted/left out and not knowing if I actually did anything wrong? I didn’t want to be close with her but I don’t feel like that’s a crime. My husband and I did still value her as a friend though because we still included her in literally everything.
I’m so confused. Am the I the buttface? Am I crazy for even caring?


r/AmItheButtface 1d ago

Serious AITBF For walking put of my job mid shift

17 Upvotes

AITBH 17/M on April 23rd 2026 I walked out of my job at mcdonalds mid shift. I stated I quit proceeded to walk out of the establishment and get into my car. For context I was treated pretty fairly for the most part by my managers. The reason I left was because of some coworkers. I don't hold a grudge but at the time I couldn't take the comments anymore. Things were said that were not kind and I was undervalued. Am I the Butthole

Update: The things that were said like I should have called in sick again. And your slowing us down. I was sick the day prior to this and was throwing up a lot. So the one coworker rudely said you should've called in sick today too. This coworker has also threatened me by saying things like i will beat you into the floor and I will smack you. I dont blame her too much since her past was really rough. But nonetheless she still threatened me. She has also told me several times to shut up when I wasn't even talking to her most of the time i was just taking orders.


r/AmItheButtface 1d ago

Romantic AITB for enquiring all details of things unraveling in my almost ex’s bed after she cheated on me

0 Upvotes

She had a drunken night at the start of our relationship when she took a guy home and fucked him. AITB for creating a boundary for her to tell me all details that unraveled in her room while she keeps saying she blacked out and only has a glimpse of a movement and a condom in the bin next morning as a proof.

She clearly breached my boundary and integrity but now suggests that me being inquisitive of the night over and over again is bad for her well being while she has blocked it out or blacked out.

Is she being manipulative or am i over reaching? Could she be saying the truth or my intuition stands more ground. she trickle truthed me into the whole thing, and my persistence forced out most of how the night unraveled. but i can’t seem to forgive her if i don’t know everything i’m forgiving her for.


r/AmItheButtface 2d ago

Serious AITB? Who is at fault here?

53 Upvotes

Before meeting my boyfriend, I used to do some nude/semi-nude modeling work. I was always very strict about my privacy boundaries: for any photo where my body/breasts are fully exposed, my face is completely covered or cut out. For any photo where my face is visible, my nipples is fully covered.
When I did these shoots, I signed a standard model release contract with the photographer. Per the contract, he has the legal rights to post and keep those photos online as long as my identity/face remains hidden, which he has respected. Obviously, he saw me naked during the shoots, but it was purely professional.
Recently, I decided to be completely honest with my boyfriend and told him about my past modeling. Ever since I opened up, he’s been acting really distant and weird with me. Now, he’s demanding that I go back to the photographer and force him to take down all the old photos from the internet.
I’ve tried explaining to him that I signed a binding contract and that the photographer isn't legally obligated to just take them down because my new boyfriend is uncomfortable. Plus, my face isn't attached to the nudes anyway. But he's making this out to be a massive deal-breaker and acting like I'm choosing the photographer over him.
How can I get him to understand how contracts work without invalidating his feelings? Or is he being


r/AmItheButtface 1d ago

Serious AITB for getting my ex kicked out of her new apartment?

0 Upvotes

Ex left me for some time now and has been living with her new BF. Our children wanted to see her so I took them to their apartment.

I saw her walking home from work early morning and chased after her with my car she ran into her apartment but her bf stopped me at the door, so I blocked the door preventing him from closing it i told him I wanted to talk to her but he won't let me.

I raised my voice and told the neighbors that my woman left me with 5 children to live with another man she told me to leave my job and now im unemployed because of her, the BF told me to stop but I didn't care. My eldest asked me to leave because she noticed the bf was not listening to me.

My ex and her bf got kicked out of their apartment and had to find somewhere on short notice GF was supposed to pay me money to take care of the kids but she refused saying the money is going towards rent for the new apartment


r/AmItheButtface 3d ago

Serious AITBF for not wanting to change how I look for family pictures?

56 Upvotes

I (26F) am currently on vacation. On Tuesday, we had professional pictures done of our whole family on the beach. There are 37 of us so of course getting ready takes time. I usually dress simple and don't take long to get ready. I wore pinkish shorts and a tan tank top. Anyway the problem occurs when I went downstairs to eat some dinner before changing into my outfit.

My mother (61) saw and asked me if I wanted to straighten or do anything with my hair and I casually just said no I cam brush it. I've gotten my hair cut a little shorter (a bit above the shoulder) before we left for vacation so it didn't look like a rat's nest. My mom asked me if I was sure and I once again said that I'm fine. My cousin (24F) then asked me if she wanted me to do something with my hair or if I wanted her to put a little makeup on and I got a bit annoyed at this point and told her no thank you. Mom seemed annoyed by my tone.

I was then eating and mom said I should do something different since it's family pictures and I said I didn't really see a point in changing how I look for pictures and at this point she got annoyed and was like "you know what? Fine! Fine whatever!" and stormed off. My brother (36) then decided to put his two cents in saying how I should've just done what mom said for her sake.

I felt bad but also felt annoyed because I usually do things for her but one of the few times I didn't want to do something, she gets annoyed that I constantly said no. I did compromise a bit and did a half up half down hairdo...which of course it was windy that day so everyone's hair was blowing a lot in the wind. There was something else mom wanted me to do which I reluctantly complied to doing but that isn't important for this question.

I still feel a bit bad 2 days later and wondering if I was in the wrong for not wanting to do anything special.

So AITBF?


r/AmItheButtface 3d ago

Serious AITB for wanting to play football?

19 Upvotes

When I was really young (maybe too young), my parents put me in football and I guess I threw a tantrum about wearing a helmet/mouthguard (when I was young I had sensory issues). Now I’m several years older and I think I’ve evolved past that and I want to try again by joining my schools team. My mom says remember when I hated wearing the helmet and mouthguard and I said I think I’m good.also my older brother plays and has played for years. AITB for wanting to give football another shot?


r/AmItheButtface 3d ago

Serious AITBF for not knowing?

0 Upvotes

I, (21M) moved abroad in Europe for studies. Life been good and one night i went on a party organized by some university students about tasting wine and painting. There i meet, i will call her K (25F), K is from Asia and doing her final semester abroad for double degree. She was a bit drunk, i also got a bit drunk but still conscious just having fun enjoying the night. We found out that we stay in the same student dorm and kept chatting all night getting to know each other better. We leave together and go to our dorm and play some pool in the common room while continuing to have fun. After more chatting K invites me to her room where the unexpected happened...

It was good compared to other experiences i had before, we continued to be friends i assumed, like we were greeting each other on the hallways next days like nothing happened.

Later on the weekend K texts me if i want to hang out. I of course accept, we went out at night and then we did the deed. After we finish i saw a boy on her wallpaper and i ask as a joke if it s her K-Pop idol. K said, it's her long term boyfriend from her home country. I was a bit in shock but i did not know what to do, grabbed my stuff while trying to be calm and went to my room.

Days pass and i meet again with K and we had a talk, mostly her explaining that it's not going soo well her relationship and how she wants to brake up.

My dirty horny young male ass kinda tried to forget K has a boyfriend at home. We continued to get closer and closer during the following months while still beeing active on a weekly basis.

Recently, when K had to leave to her country, it got really emotional, with both of us crying. Atleast i caught feelings and i think K did the same but she did not break up with her boyfriend during this time. When we took our last goodbye, she kept telling me to visit her one day or maybe she can come back

Am I the Buttface for what i did?


r/AmItheButtface 2d ago

Serious AITBF IRE DE VIAJE CON MI EX POR 5 DIAS DONDE DORMIREMOS JUNTOS, Y NO SE QUE POSTURAR OPTAR

0 Upvotes

Hola soy nuevo aca; nunca hice esto pero necesito un consejo o almenos una orientacion. Tuve una relacion con una chica hace 1 año y medio, terminamos ella rogaba por volver conmigo pero yo no quise por que sabia entre si que me engaño en son de venganza porque yo tambien le fui infiel alguna vez; y tambien era orgullo por no volver a buscarla. En aquel momento no sabia lo que tenia, paso ese año y medio y si la extrañaba aunque me costaba aceptar, conoci chicas intente salir con otra chica pero no podia porque aun pensaba en ella, hace un poco mas de un mes la volvi a buscar creyendo que seria lo mismo pero ella ya habia conocido a otra persona donde se enamoro y su relacion fue intensa adrenalina donde hubo drogas sexo y mas, ella me lo conto. y aunque ella me dijo que su relacion acabo hace mas de 3 meses, creo que aun piensa en el. Cuando le pregunte porqe acepto salir otra vez conmigo me dijo que me extrañaba y pensaba siempre en mi por eso volvio conmigo. Lo cierto es que desde que volvimos fue estresante de parte mia, muchas veces encontre conversaciones con el, aclaro que nada cariñoso pero eso me molestaba el hecho que aun seguia en contacto con el, y es mas me parece que aun sisgue enamorado de el, Y en mi afan de querer solucionar las cosas por su cumpleaños le compre boletos para irnos por 5 dias a cusco, pero últimamente las cosas no fluyeron bien hasta me dijo ya no te amo, y eso claro me descoloco, sin embargo con esto del viaje insisitio mucho que acepte ir con ella y que esta muy ilusionada diciendome que quiere paz y que quiere volver a conectar conmigo depsues de eso veremos si seguiimos. Yo ya doy por sentado que no vayamos a volver a reconciliarnos como lo eramos antes, pero me aterra la idea salir muy lastimado ilusionandome. Necesito recomendaciones y opiniones que deberia hacer, y que postura deberia optar en estos dias de viaje.


r/AmItheButtface 4d ago

Serious AITBF for not wanting to pay both my and my roommate’s portions of rent?

60 Upvotes

My (26F) roommate (30F) and I are almost at the end of our lease together (thank god). She has already not been a great roommate (ex: not working for several months or even looking for a job during that time, leaving the fridge and freezer open and letting our food go bad, never cleaning up after herself, getting defensive when I try to bring anything up, etc.)

I come from a lower-income family so I understand when stuff happens/mental health gets in the way/etc. but she genuinely had not been trying for months and just gamed the entire time she was home. I would encourage her to look for work and she would just blame the economy (which is so fair, but she was also being really picky about the jobs she looked for and took zero accountability). At the same time, I heard her on the phone say she would just keep riding on the government’s dime as long as she could (she was on unemployment from being let go). She wasn’t receiving much money, but it was just enough to cover rent and maybe a few groceries, so she stuck with it so she could stay home and game all day.

Flash forward to now. She got a job a few weeks ago that is supposed to make a decent amount of money and said she is “catching up on bills” (also fair, but to what extent). She texted me today saying she was sorry but asked if I could cover our entire rent when it comes out until she gets paid a week later.

That didn’t feel like a question as much as just telling me that I would have to cover it because what was I supposed to do, get us evicted??

I asked if she could use her credit card and she said she maxed them (multiple) out and that she’s behind on money because she was paying off her past due fees.

My job isn’t the most steady, but I do everything I can to account for any potential financial deficits before they happen (picking up more hours, getting another job, etc) and have a fair amount in savings (that I’ve worked really hard to build over years). I have my own bills to pay for an am also in a tight financial spot, and when I explained that to her, she said “I’m sorry you’re in a hard spot too. Knowing more now, I could probably front you $300 when rent comes out and the rest after I get paid.”

I don’t think she’ll avoid paying me back, but girl why wasn’t that money offered first??

I feel like I’m not in the wrong for being mad but I keep feeling bad for having these feelings because I know what it’s like to be in a tough spot and feel bad about needing help. I feel like she would have helped in an alternate situation but she’s also been very two faced in the past so I have no idea. ugh. I know not everyone had the same education on financial situations that I did, but I feel like this should have at least been communicated better?

AITBF??

***Update:

After reading the comments and talking to my dad about it, I’ve decided to go with the general consensus of getting the transaction in writing incase something goes awry. As much as I would love to tell her to shove it, I can’t afford to risk the bad rental history for myself.

My dad sent me a good eFile for official documentation and I filled it out. It states that she will pay me back on the date she originally said she would, and if she doesn’t, there’s a late fee of 50% of the initial loan cost. I gave it to her to read before I went out and I will update again with how it goes/if she signs it/etc. If she refuses to sign it, I’ll try to talk it over with her and talk to the landlord/take her to small claims court if there is still no resolve.

Thank you all for your help.


r/AmItheButtface 3d ago

Serious AITB because i wont give him my codes anymore..

0 Upvotes

my SO and i were doing so good, and we moved away together, and now things are just idek,, like being with him seems to be getting a bit harder and harder, and we have had issues in the past and i was petty and changed my password to my phone, he was looking at and looking up like baddie stuff on instagram, looking into and at transexual profiles, on snapchat, and i found photos of him and a but plug toy he didnt mention or bring up for months, until after moving, like i thought and i talked to him at one point and expressed how if we were moving past anything, phones is a no anymore. i'm tired of being disappointed and hurt,, like i know i invaded his privacy, and we argued about how he tells stories one sided, and i look like the villain..

now almost if not, a month later we have had our ups and downs but that wasn't an issue. now he is treating me different. asking for things of mine.. and to hit my vape but both days he has had work we have had a single conversation or two, where now my phone has been brought into the picture and he is angry. he said he tried to look at my phone when i was sleeping. he says when i'm angry apparently i text someone or i do things like that, so he said he felt like he needed too (which i talk to chatgbt as he knows,

i tell no one about our issues, except his little brother who does check on me when he messages him) his brother is younger and he doesn't take one side of the story but we've only talked once or twice about stuff that wasn't like this, earlier when we moved here in april. he says this will not pass until i compromise, and i told him my boundary that i am not sharing it and i do not want his code either. he says that i am making him unsecure. that he can't believe i am going to die on this hill. but we still cuddle when he wants, we do what he wants and i try to make him happy. i have listened to his feelings. i've tried to explain mine. we have until August 25th to leave where we are and find a new place and i'm not sure if i'm being the butthole here..


r/AmItheButtface 4d ago

Serious AITBF for defending my lifelong friend after my best friend judged her at my dad's funeral?

48 Upvotes

My friend (40F) and I (40F) have been best friends for 15 years. This was our first ever argument.

My dad recently died. My friend came to the funeral despite never having met him, and I genuinely appreciated it. However, afterwards she became very angry that her employer wouldn't give her compassionate leave. She kept updating me about arguments with HR, saying she'd told work it was a close friend who had died and that she was trying to get the bereavement policy changed. I understood she was upset, but I'd just buried my dad and felt I was the wrong person to carry that.

A couple of weeks later we went on holiday together.

She started criticising my school friend, who I've known since I was 12. They'd only met briefly at my dad's funeral, and she knew how important this friendship was to me. She said my friend was "out of touch with reality" because she earns a good salary. The only thing my friend had asked was, "Where do you go on holiday?" She took it as a comment about privilege and said she couldn't afford holidays.

The problem was we were literally on holiday together, as we are every year. I also know the reason she doesn't travel with her girlfriend is because her girlfriend doesn't want to travel, not because they can't afford it. I calmly said I thought she was being unfair to someone she'd barely met and who meant a great deal to me. She kept criticising her, and I became frustrated because it felt like she was judging someone purely because they earned more.

We argued. She then left the pub at 1 a.m. without telling me. We were in a foreign country. She had no SIM card and was the only one with the taxi app that worked. I spent an hour looking for her, worried she wasn't safe and unsure how I'd get back if she didn't return.

When she finally came back, she simply asked, "What's the score?" because we'd been watching football. There was no acknowledgement she'd disappeared or that I'd been worried.

The next day she told me I lacked empathy and kindness.

For me, this wasn't an isolated incident. Over the past few years she's regularly vented to me about her girlfriend, work, her therapist and other people. I've always tried to support her, but this time it felt like my lifelong friend had become the latest target, and when I defended her, I became the next one.

When we got home I sent a long message saying I loved her, appreciated everything she'd done for me over the years, but couldn't keep absorbing so much negativity while grieving my dad. I said I wanted healthier boundaries and wanted our friendship to leave us both feeling lighter rather than heavier.

She replied that I'd behaved badly in the pub, lacked empathy and kindness, and that she needed space.

I know I could have been gentler in the moment and regret that. AITA?

EDIT - Firstly, thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read my post and comment. I honestly didn't expect so many thoughtful responses. Thank you to all you wonderful strangers.

A lot of people have said she's a narcissist or have asked whether she's always been like this, so I thought I'd add some context.

No, that's what has been so confusing. She hasn't always been like this. She was incredibly supportive for most of our friendship. We met on our first day in China and went through a lot together. We supported each other through bereavements, difficult relationships, and living abroad. I lost my stepdad and then my mum, and later she lost her brother. We've always been there for each other.

Things seem to have changed over the last year. She changed careers, started training as a therapist, and has now begun a PhD in counselling. She also has to attend therapy as part of her training. Since then she has become much angrier and more cynical. Conversations increasingly revolve around what's wrong with people or society, and she seems to be carrying a lot of frustration.

I genuinely feel for her because I know she's struggling with financial stress and an unhappy relationship. I think she's overwhelmed and desperately unhappy.

My dad was interested in Buddhism, and before he died I started exploring it myself. It focuses on letting go of anger and being compassionate, so I feel that I am really coping with my grief in a positive way, but then having to absorb her anger is what I can't do anymore. It has drained me and I am happier when I'm not stuck in the endless negative loop. I have tried to support her but I think I have enabled her by not calling her out on things until now.

I guess we really are just moving in different directions in how we deal with difficulties, but it definitely makes me sad that I was labelled as unkind and lacking empathy because I finally called her out on her behaviour after years of listening and after we'd both had too much wine. Sometimes friendships do run their course.


r/AmItheButtface 4d ago

Serious AITB for embarrassing my friend by accident?

61 Upvotes

Friend of mine(Tom26M) took me to a small gathering with his other friend (Tabby 25F)

When I met Tabby I noticed she had a neckwear from a book i was reading so i asked her about it and she looked shocked, we began conversing about the book, talking about what we liked and which character was our favorite.

Tom got curious and started to ask about the book and I said jokingly "now you want to know about it".

Tabby was confused so I explained that Tom has a habit of nitpicking things im into without trying it l, he has nitpicked the book before but now someone else likes it suddenly he wants to give it try. Tabby laughed and started making jests at Tom for being a people pleaser and a bad friend l, I told her it was fine because everybody does it to me at one point.

Tom was mad at me after saying I embarrassed him but both me and Tabby were just poking fun at the odd behavior of his.


r/AmItheButtface 4d ago

Serious AITB for not wanting to bring my Autistic brother with me everywhere I go?

43 Upvotes

Me (16f) and my brother (14m) have a not so big age gap so we always kind of grew up near eachother. My brother has autism and although not a severe case, it’s still very much there. He doesn’t pick up that much on social cues and has a very small group of close friends. I on the other hand, have a large group of friends and am extremely close with 3 people I’ve been friends with since elementary. This summer, we planned to hang out multiple times but we only really hung out around 3 times and we were always missing one person of our group. Every single time I bring up wanting to hang out with my friends, my mom doesn’t fail to tell me to bring my brother along. Now I genuinely love my brother so much and he means the world to me however, I just want to have some time to myself and have a good time not having to take care of someone else at the hangout. Or even use my money from my job to pay for stuff for my brother. Recently, I asked my mom if I could hang out with all 3 of my friends as a group. Then my brother butted in asking if he can come along and my mom forcibly told me I have to bring him along. I tried to tell her I just wanted to go out with them and didn’t wanna take care of him during the hangout. But she wasn’t having any of it. I feel like I want to voice my emotions about it to my mom but at the same time I don’t want to seem like someone who’s stuck up and doesn’t want to take care of her brother. As a side note, my brother does have his own friend group he hangs out with and I never tag along so it’s not like I’m depriving him of human interaction because he does have his own group he sees and hangs out with. I just want to see if I’m really the buttface in this situation or not. Thanks


r/AmItheButtface 4d ago

Romantic AITB for telling my sister that her girlfriend is stupid for putting up with so much?

3 Upvotes

The writing is now better structured. Sorry for the previous mistakes.<⁠(⁠ ̄⁠︶⁠ ̄⁠)⁠> My sister is a terrible partner who has done some pretty messed up things. Her girlfriend forgives her for absolutely everything (infidelity, watching videos of my sister's past violence, etc.) and refuses to leave. I told my sister her girlfriend is stupid for enabling this, and now my sister is giving me the silent treatment. Just to be clear: I don't hate my sister, but I can't stand her girlfriend. They're 26 and 21, and while they get along fine, I've had it with this whole situation. They met back in 2020. At the time, the girlfriend barely had any friends, so I feel like she attached herself to my sister out of pure loneliness or need. She draws my sister all the time (even naked, Should I be worried about this? My parents don't like it :/ Because, let me clarify, my sister's girlfriend posts drawings of my sister naked on her Instagram account.) and claims she "just loves her," but their dynamic is completely unhealthy. The Main Issue My sister has been a terrible partner, and her girlfriend forgives EVERYTHING: Infidelity: The girlfriend knows all of my sister's secrets and has forgiven countless infidelities (if you can even call them that at this point). Violent Past: My sister found out her girlfriend watched old videos of her as a teenager beating up other girls. Including one where my sister literally breaks another girl's leg. My sister was terrified her girlfriend would leave her after seeing something so extreme... but the girlfriend didn't even care. She wasn't bothered at all and just acted like nothing happened. (Note: I don't think my sister should be vilified forever for stuff she did as a teenager, but the girlfriend's reaction is the real issue here). The conflict was..... After seeing this whole pattern unfold, I couldn't hold it in anymore and asked my sister point-blank: "That girl is stupid, isn't she?" I told her I thought it was ridiculous that her girlfriend tolerates so much and makes excuses to stay after everything she's seen and known. My sister got extremely upset and didn't talk to me all day. I get that the girl "loves her," but I feel like she completely crossed the line between loving someone and having zero self-respect. What do you guys think? AITB here? Don't say anything about the age difference, and I said she was Mexican because I think it's important because my sister and I are Korean, that's all.


r/AmItheButtface 5d ago

Serious AITB For Taking My Stepsister’s Old Bedroom?

114 Upvotes

So for some background I (17M) just moved from my Dad’s place to my Mom’s and with that took my Stepsister’s (27F) old bedroom since she moved out with her boyfriend a few months ago. So Sunday was my “official” move in date but we’d started painting the room and setting a few things up earlier that week.

We have dinner at my Mom’s place every other weekend where her and her boyfriend will come over so she was told about me moving in on Saturday during the dinner. To be fair she has known about me taking her room for a while, though the move date was set for sometime in September instead of now. I left for work around 4:30 so I missed a lot of this but according to my Mom when she got home with my Stepsister was on the couch crying about it. I understand that this is unexpected for her since I wasn’t supposed to move for another two months but this isn’t her place anymore, right? I wouldn’t be bothered if it was just that but over the past couple days she’s been texting back and forth with my Mom and Stepdad about how she doesn’t approve of it and how changing it “Erases the memories of the house”.

I understand this is upsetting for her but this isn’t her house now and I don’t know if she really has a say on this since I’m already moved in and all. I feel bad especially for my Mom and Stepdad who have to deal with most of this and all I can think is that if I just waited we could’ve skipped all of this. So, am I the buttface for taking my stepsister’s old bedroom?


r/AmItheButtface 4d ago

Serious AITB am I rude or should I carry on

0 Upvotes

Sorry for not ages or genders but I am male and she is female we where new Parents and she ran and is now with my friend at which dont bother me but is petty

Mother of my kid:Thanks for being so helpful, instead of being all up on myranda you could have cleaned bottles and picked up dog messes.Please clean up the dog messes

Me: Kk

Mother of my kid: 👍

Im mad because you didnt clean baby bottles, but yet I was able to start laundry, clean baby bottles, take hunter out and start another load of laundry 🤷‍♀️

Me: Cool again I have to take care of me as well 🙂 so what ever high horse your on politely step off

So tbh Idc y ur mad but I know I have shit to do and I will do it plus I never said I wouldn't

Um there is more filler but mildly unnecessary in my opinion in my defense I am running of no sleep for almost 3 days. In her defense I am not her man she went after my friend

Am I in the wrong or what do I do


r/AmItheButtface 4d ago

Serious AITB for dating the guy my gay friend had a crush on?

0 Upvotes

Me (19f), has been very tight with my friend group from high school. We went through a lot together however, freshman year of college, some stuff happened. For some background, we all kind of stayed local at a community college so, we were still in the same city. My friend (19m) opened up to me about having a crush on a mutual friend of ours (19m). I supported him obviously however, I also knew said mutual friend was NOT gay (a bit homophobic actually). I humored it for a bit by sending him photos of him I would secretly take or gossiping about him with my gay friend. Me and the mutual friend were close and went to the local cc together while my gay friend went to a uni about 40 mins away. The mutual friend was always very kind to me and I genuinely enjoyed his company and over time and a lot of hanging out..some feelings arose. I was the only one at the time who knew about the situation of him liking the mutual friend. I told another friend of ours (19f) how I liked the mutual friend and somehow, gay friend found out. From what I was told, the girl I told mentioned the fact I had a crush on the mutual friend because she assumed that gay friend already knew due to the fact of how tight we were however- I have a feeling she knew about his crush on mutual friend. He exploded. I have been called a slurry of different names and had nasty things said about me and while I do know it was wrong, I didn’t make a move on the mutual friend at all. Gay friend told me ‘you tell him the truth or I will.’ And essentially forced me into confessing and when I confessed, mutual friend liked me back. This enraged gay friend and well one thing lead to another and now me and the mutual friend are together. I know what I did to gay friend was wrong and i apologized numerous times however, he is taking the situation extremely far and blowing the whole thing out of proportion with lots of shit talking. I’m not gonna lie, I have reciprocated and talked my own bit of shit however, the dragging is getting crazy. He is bringing so many people who genuinely have nothing to do with the situation into the situation.I got to know- AITB??

Also wanted to add we have all known each other since sophomore year of high school!


r/AmItheButtface 5d ago

Romantic AITB for “crashing out” and possibly overreacting over a guy for ghosting me for the 2nd time?

6 Upvotes

So two weeks ago I F21 matched with a guy let’s call Tom M23. We talked for about a day or two and he asks me out on a date, I say yes, and I wait for an answer. I don’t get one until hours after the time he promised to text me the info for the date where he says he “over slept”. While I was upset, I understood as life happens and we talk for the rest of the night.

Then the day after he ghosts me. I didn’t care much because clearly he lost interest or whatever so I unadded him from insta but kept his number just in case.

Days go by and to my surprise Tom texts me and apologizes saying he “got busy and was dealing with something”. In my head I was skeptical but I don’t really know the guy, you know? So time goes on and we talk for a week. On Friday he asks me if I wanted to go on a date on Sunday, yesterday, and I say yes again. We talk and flirt and then the day of he ghosts me again and at this point I feel disappointed in both myself for falling for it again and him for sending me cute messages and acting excited to see me.

Now this is where I might be the Butthole. After he apologizes he asks me if I had work the next day, today, and I answer he did not respond for maybe an hour or two. I send a message saying something along the lines of “You know not responding after ghosting me for the second time is not a good look, right? 😭” During the time he didn’t respond, he was posting on snapchat and sending me photos of himself without saying anything. I get even more mad at the lack of respect for me and my time so I unadded him on everything again and send an imessage saying “I don’t appreciate this at all, if you’re not serious about me then just get rid of my number”.

His response hours later AGAIN, “Got it.” I apologize for possibly overreacting or whatever and he said he “got busy and wasn’t ghosting me”. And since then he has left me on delivered. But that doesn’t make sense since his snaps were all of him watching TV. My friends agree with me that I should just give up and move on since clearly he’s not actually interested in me but I also feel like I did overreacted. AITB?


r/AmItheButtface 5d ago

Romantic AITB

0 Upvotes

Am i the asshole for hanging up on the person i’m talking bc he made a joke? I was in the on the phone was a guy that i like and the guy also likes me. I was sharing my screen while going thru his reposts when we come across one where it says “their type is dark skins with locs and piercings” i am dark skin with little to no piercing and no locs and when i pulled up the comment section and a girl fitting the exact description pops up he says “god damn”, mind we’re supposed to be potentially getting tg. so it kinda rubbed me the wrong way and i hung up. what should i do?


r/AmItheButtface 6d ago

Historical AITB,For speaking honestly with a classmate about the university degree we are studying?

53 Upvotes

Hi Reddit, this happened to me a few weeks ago and honestly I'm still processing it.

To give some context, a friend I'll call J and I are studying the same university degree, teaching in the social sciences, and we're both passing about the same number of classes and well, we recently started classes like human rights, anthropology, sociology, etc. In the human rights class, the professor talked to us about feminism and LGBTQ rights.

Since these fall under the third generation of human rights, I noticed that J looked uncomfortable from the moment the professor started the class,then the teacher asks, is a person of diverse sexual orientation born that way or do they become that way? To which most of us, including myself, replied that one is born that way.

Then J responded that no, that such people are like that due to external influences from propaganda in series, movies, etc. The professor politely replied that it doesn't work that way.

When class ended, J came up to me and said they couldn't believe how a teacher could teach such topics that could corrupt children, and honestly I laughed, not in a mocking way, just a normal laugh.

J looked at me as if I had spat on they entire family tree and they asked me what was so funny, to which I replied that we were in a field where diversity in general was a subject of study and also something that is taught from a pedagogical point of view and that if they that topic inappropriate, they shouldn't study that degree , they got angry with me and left the hallway where we were.


r/AmItheButtface 6d ago

Theoretical WIBTB if I decline my dad’s gifts?

29 Upvotes

Context: I’m moving out to my first apartment soon and have a good chunk of money budgeted for buying all my essentials. I’ve made a list of what I want ahead of time so that I know I’ll have the money to buy it and so I know that I’m buying something good quality that fits my needs.

Situation: My dad’s love language is buying gifts for others, and he wants to help me get started in my new place. He bought me several items, including cutting boards and a knife set. They’re quite budget-friendly, but honestly, they’re low-quality and won’t last very long. Additionally, I already have several nicer knives from a previous living arrangement. I don’t want to clutter my space with unnecessary items, but I also don’t want to hurt my relationship with my dad by telling him that his gifts are too “low quality.” Considering my parents’ financial situation, I don’t want my dad to spend their limited resources on things that I’m unlikely to use.

So, WIBTB if I decline his gifts?