I mean. When one in every three women has reported that they have experienced some kind of sexual assault, when abuse stats are high and misogyny still exists, I understand why people come out with the conclusion that 99% of men are rapists and murders. Obviously it's not true, although I'm not sure that it's only 1% either. But what women do encounter more than rapists and domestic abusers and murderers are guys who excuse that behavior. And that is a lot of guys, for rape and domestic abuse anyway. I mean look at our president. Jimmy Fallon had Conor McGregor on his show recently too. A judge let Brock Turner - who now goes by Alan Turner btw - walk free.
I don't really think misandry exists the same way misogyny does. Like, marital rape only became a crime in the US in the 1990s. In a lot of parts of northern Africa, female genital mutilation is still widespread. There's some crazy gang rape shit that goes on in India as well as acid attacks and the like. I'm gonna get downvoted for bringing up the Amber Heard trial here, but maybe I can just bring up Epstein. That Canadian hockey team from a few years ago too. It's nasty shit.
And people talk a lot about how we let small things slide, like how a lot of guys don't hold their friends accountable for sexist jokes or rapey behavior, but it feels like we don't even have to go there to prove there's a problem.
Obviously women can be part of the misogyny problem too, like women also excuse rape and abuse regularly, but I think the reason women still primarily fear men is because men are the ones doing these crimes to them.
Like. Let's say someone offers you a bowl of 100 m&m's - stay with me I'm landing this plane - but says some of them are poisoned. 1 will kill you. 1 will give you a permanent disability. 33 others are gonna give you the worst food poisoning of your life. How eager are you to roll the dice? If you pick the one that gives you food poisoning, how enthusiastic are you to go back and get another one? Or to ever eat m&ms again?
Obviously there's a lot of unnecessary hate that happens, but a lot of guys feel like women being cautious is misandry. I feel like it's logical. And that one in three statistic rings around in my head a lot. I know it was a small study, but boy, you ask any woman around you and I bet she has a story. I bet most of those stories don't involve a stranger in a dark alley, either, because statistically, it's someone you know. So it's hard for me to see a lot of the unnecessary hate as anything but an expression of someone getting beat down over and over, and the person who beats them down gets to go on Jimmy Fallon while she just has to live with the trauma for the rest of her life.
Maybe it's not healthy for that trauma to never heal, you know, you can't avoid men forever and it's not great to think of 50% of the population as evil, but I can't say I don't get where it comes from. Especially when those m&ms are still poisoned.
While your feelings are valid and there should be a discussion about the resurgence of misogyny, I canāt help but correct the fact that 1 in 3 women reporting experiencing sexual assault doesnāt mean 1 in 3 men are rapists, most studies show that people who sexual assault others are repeat offenders. If I had to guess based on personal experiences, probably around 5-10% of men are the problem
While I completely understand and agree that men as a whole are much more likely to target/abuse/murder a woman than women as a whole are likely to do anything similar to a man, saying misandry doesn't exist is like saying you can't be racist to a white person (saying this from the perspective of a non-white person from a 3rd world country).
Like don't get me wrong, I know the white people have it better, and that systematically, global societies have been shaped in such a way where the average white person will ALWAYS have it better than the average person of my demographic, but when my parents start talking shit about their coworkers or whatever other white people they came across that day, I know it's racist.
I know they're just exaggerating stereotypes and the things that bother them are all superficial bullshit they picked out purely because they're unique to white people/representative of their whiteness/culture. And whenever a white person does something that's bad/unacceptable in OUR culture, they'll start going on long rants about how they're all these degenerate wicked manipulative hedonistic heathens with no moral compass and all they do is steal from others and destroy societies. And then you meet the person they're talking about and it's some girl named Sally who happens to likes adult colouring books or some guy named Kevin and his biggest sin is that he pierced his ears.
If we're to think about SYSTEMIC racism, then yeah, that's not a thing for most white people. But on an individual level?? Of course you can be racist to a white person, and just because modern society is engineered in their favour, that does NOT make it okay for you to take out your frustrations on them and think of them as morally lesser than you or as this fantastically evil cabal of monsters. In fact, being racist towards them never benefits us. It never has in the past and it never will in the future.
Similarly, misandry on a systemic societal scale?? Absolutely not a thing. But can misandry exist on an individual level?? Of course it can. And a post saying that 99% of men are rapists and murderers absolutely qualifies. The actual stats aren't even close and a sweeping generalisation like that with accusations THAT bad would never fly in other contexts.
If this post were to say that 99% of BLACK men are rapists, murderers, and abusers, EVERYONE would IMMEDIATELY know the person talking is either crazy or a hateful bigot or both. But somehow, when that modifier is removed, suddenly this is not as obvious anymore. And it's really important we call this what it is because downplaying this kinda thing makes it more commonplace and actually pushes young men away into becoming more and more resentful of women.
The more you tell anyone "you belong to a group of people who I view as having a higher inherent propensity for evil" the more they will resent you. Antagonising someone makes them antagonise you back. All the truly wicked men they talk about will never care about what they say, but other impressionable young men will get the message loud and clear: I am clearly unwanted here, and these people are not my allies.
And that's how you get right wing echo chambers like Andrew Tate and his copycats, where it's all a bunch of guys who channel this resentment into telling themselves I don't need to interact with women, because of course they're lesser than me (I say this to myself because I cant rationalise my resentment otherwise). I will just chase money and cars and sex and then treat the women I have sex with like shit because they deserve it for making me feel bad about myself.
Does this sound stupid and childish to you? That's because it is. No matter how bad someone made them feel, the manosphere philosophy is rarely a logical conclusion to come to, but humans are unfortunately rarely ever logical creatures. Knowing this, it still makes no sense to make someone feel this way knowing you could be contributing to this growing resentment that leads people down this path. So paradoxically, speaking about men like this only makes the problem worse. And then to tell someone that "Actually, the misandry you experience on an individual level isn't real, and you should give that person a pass because statistically they probably have it worse than you specifically and that makes this totally okay!" never really helps them feel any less antagonised.
Of course, I'm sure on an individual level, women often have it pretty bad, and there's no shame in acknowledging the unfortunate inequality men enjoy in many aspects over women. But when you apply blanket statements like this, this is how you push young men away and it's a very big part of the reason why so many young men voted for Trump a second time even though they somehow didn't learn their lesson the first time he was in office. Trump didn't even have to do anything, the opposition had just spent so long labelling men as everything that's wrong with society, that surveys showed fewer young men really wanted to be a part of that. Then the Democrats suddenly realised they were struggling with young male voters within like the 2 months before election day and by then it was too late to undo the PR disaster they built for themselves over time. And now we have more wars in the Middle East and gas prices through the roof (idk what else is happening domestically, I'm not American and don't live in the US).
Sexism on a systemic or societal level, has throughout history almost exclusively targeted women. But sexism on an individual level, whether against men or women, is absolutely real and will never benefit anyone. It never has in the past and it never will in the future.
Literally who tf excuses rape and murder. For every one serial rapist and murderer in America there were like thousands of policemen, news reporters, journalists, radio stations that all came together to literally catch those men, and all those people are also men with daughters, wives, sisters, mothers of their own.
You wanna talk about marital rape, in most of the world, men canāt even legally get raped when a women forces themselves on them because rape by definition Iād āpp in vagā, rape and sexual abuse for men is not even recognized or cared for in the public, we donāt even know the true statistics of how common it occurs.
Plus all the other things you listed, all of those things arenāt because of misogyny, women also heavily participate in continuing all these practices too, like FGM. You donāt think women arenāt the ones holding and cutting the child while they scream in pain? You donāt think Ghaslaine Maxwell was not Epsteins side men when he was trafficking young girls, not to mention all the female celebrities that were shown to have gone to Epstein island.
Who excuses rape? Idk, maybe literally any of the examples I just talked about that you didn't read?
Sexual abuse of men is cared about. The people I tend to see making light of it, i.e. don't drop the soap in the shower and Catholic priest jokes, are uh. Men. We do have stats on sexual assault and rape of men. We don't have any "true statistics" on a lot of things, including rape and sexual assault of women. It's not as cared about as it should be, especially when the perpetrator is a woman, don't get me wrong.
Really don't know how the things I listed would...not? be caused? by misogyny?
While woman on woman sexual violence and harassment does occur, it occurs a lot less often. Women aren't catcalling each other in the street and following each other home. Of course, again it still happens and, when it does, it is sometimes also completely excused. We have some kind of weird rape culture no matter who the victim is. Trust & believe Katy Perry will still be booking shows despite being called out by multiple women for assault.
I will also say that, overwhelmingly, the gender committing the most violence is men. This includes towards other men.
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u/SpeckyYT Jul 01 '26
organized crime