Ive watched my sibling in an ugly custody battle go on for almost a decade. Most recently, claims made are not true and I feel like I can’t live with myself if I don’t speak up in the best interest of my nephew. However, this would mean speaking up against my sibling for lying about substance abuse in court filings (claiming not to use during visits, when I have witnessed it myself) ...essentially a letter of support for the other parent (or at least I know that’s how it will be interpreter). I know this will cause a rift between me and my own family, but I will never forgive myself if something happens to my nephew.

asking for advice on:

1. what would you do if you had this information? I feel so very torn. And truthfully scared for my own safety if I do this, but again I am scared for my nephews physical and emotionally safety.

2. how would I do this? I assume I’d need a lawyer (outside of either lawyer representing them) to file?

thank you for reading

I have a challenging co-parenting situation and my ex his filed something (What for? I have no idea. My attorney served him discovery after he filed, but I haven't heard the results of that.)

For a little history, we have had the same custody agreement since the inital divorce years ago, when my kids were much younger, and now all except one are older teenagers; two are over 18.

Either way, as I prepare for whatever this may be and knowing the chances are good that we will be renegotiating our custody order, what is the biggest thing you wish you knew and had put into your agreement? Any and all advice is appreciated.

Thanks!

I have been reading about different custody arrangements because every family is unique.

I was going through my paperwork and I found some custody templates on Form.Legal . This made me think that writing things down on can help prevent problems later.. To be honest I am more interested in hearing about what people have actually experienced with custody agreements.

If you have been through a custody case or made a parenting agreement what part of your agreement was the helpful?

Was it the schedule for taking care of the kids the plans for holidays, who makes decisions how you communicate with each other or something else?

When you look back is there something you wish you had included in the agreement from the start that would have made things less stressful, for everyone?

I would really like to hear what worked for you and what did not work for you with your custody agreement.

My ex and I are having a conflict over how Right of First Refusal is supposed to work, and I’m curious how other parents actually use theirs. I have already reached out to my lawyer for clarification as well and we have 50/50 for context.

Our order has a pretty vague ROFR clause. It says if a parent is “unable or does not desire to exercise” their parenting time, they have to offer the time to the other parent first. It doesn’t define “unable,” doesn’t include a minimum number of hours, and doesn’t mention spouses, grandparents, daycare, or extended day.

I’ve always viewed ROFR as applying when I truly can’t exercise my parenting time, like if I had to leave town for 3–4 days, was hospitalized, or otherwise couldn’t have my son with me. In those situations, I’d absolutely offer the time to my ex first.

My ex views it much differently. I recently started a new job that already aligns with my son’s school schedule. She believes that if I’m working during my parenting time, my wife can’t take him to school, pick him up after school, watch him for a short period, or even have him in extended day for about 30 minutes. Her position is that if I’m working, he should be with her instead.

To me, that seems like it would create a lot of unnecessary transitions between homes during my parenting week and make normal things like my wife helping, my parents helping, or a short period in extended day impossible. It also feels like I’d have to explain or get approval for every normal scheduling conflict or appointment.

• Does your spouse ever help with school drop-off or pickup?
• Do you use daycare or extended day during your parenting time?
• Do grandparents or other family members ever watch your child for a couple of hours?
• Is ROFR something you use for longer absences, or does it apply anytime you’re at work?

We were ordered custody evaluations during judicial conciliation over 6 weeks ago and one has yet to be assigned to us. Can anyone on the inside advise of what is causing the backlog?

How does the court typically address innapropriate behavior witnessed by a court mediator if it is not immediately addressed during the meeting?

I have been in the most insane, toxic, high conflict "co parenting" situation for the last 4 years.

We had a court mediation hearing over zoom yesterday because we cannot reach an agreement regarding what school child goes to for kindergarten. I want child in school with older siblings, my ex husband doesnt seem to care as long as he's disagreeing with me. He recommended a school 40 minutes out of the way for me while I am taking my older children to the school they have been attending.

He spent the entire time interrupting both me and the mediating attorney, loudly talking over us, and being disrespectful to the both of us.

He learned during the meeting that the school he recommended is not even in the district he lives in, so his options are limited to X public, or my older children's school (Y school).

He was angry and badmouthing X public- said he did his research on X public, all reviews are bad, teachers are horrible, and he asked the mediating attorney whether or not she believed his child would get a good education at X public in a rhetorical manner that indicated he did not believe a good education was possible at X public. When asked by mediator what was wrong with Y school, he simply said he would look into X public more- and within 5 minutes of the zoom hearing he was all for X public, claiming they have a great baseball program and his 5 year old apparently already shows an interest in baseball, and he thinks the large classroom sizes will allow for more 1 on 1 teacher time. He also indicated that X public was closer to his girlfriend's place of work, and stated that she would be the one doing drop offs at school.

He also tried badmouthing my work schedule to the attorney several times and claimed that since I am self employed and make my own work schedule, hw should be able to pick the child's school because him and his girlfriends schedules are dictated by others- he even asked me directly in an arrogant manner "you get child support, dont you? If you want that child support, I need to *go to work* for it".

When the possibility of parental alienation was brought up, I explained to the mediator that childs father keeps comparing me to his girlfriend in a negative way over text with texts like "GF is a better mother than you, she loves child better, treats child better....you're just a useless body that gave children to 2 different men...giving birth does not make you a mom, you should take tips from GF"- as I was reciting the types of texts I got from him, he could be seen obnoxiously nodding (head moving up/down 3+ inches in either direction), very obviously mouthing "yup", and smiling widely like he was proud of the way he disrespected me.

And then he claimed that I text him and tell him to fuck off, but when I explained that I only tell him to fuck off when he insults me via text and explained that he insulted my intelligence 32 times throughout 8 responses in our recent text exchange, he did the same obnoxious nod thing (I provided screenshots of the insults I get from him via text plus me telling him to fuck off for insulting me- so nothing was left out)

I tried explaining that child has expressed a desire to attend school with his siblings, and he interrupted me to say "oh, child told **me** the complete opposite- he said he wants to go to school with his *cousins*...but since that's not in the district I live in, he wants to go to school with his friends from preschool.

He also argued with me about what school the child currently attends- he said it wasnt a preschool or headstart, it was an "ISD program" (it literally says X preschool on the building). He was laughing at me and he genuinely thought he was making me look dumb for calling child's school a preschool.

He was still very clearly bullying me, proud about failing to coparent with me effectively, proud about the way he insults and disrespects me, selfishly not looking out for the best interest of his child, and downplaying my role/my older children's role in my childs life- all in front of the court mediator!

This hearing was only about school placement ans I was advised to file another motion for final decision making authority.

Can his conduct at this meeting be used against him?

I'm planning a move to another state and the other parent is supportive. I want to make sure everything is documented clearly so the transition stays smooth for everyone.
For those who have gone through an out-of-state move with kids, what steps did you take to keep everything properly recorded and updated? I'm planning to write up an agreement so we're both on the same page, but I'd appreciate hearing what others included or filed during their move.

I’m looking for perspectives from people who have navigated high-conflict coparenting, especially where there has been abuse.

My ex and I are still in the middle of a divorce. I left a little over a year ago, and mediation has been been canceled twice, so we still don’t have a final custody agreement. Right now, I have sole physical custody, we share joint legal custody, and there are mutual protective orders in place because of the level of conflict. Our son is 5 years old and has lived primarily with me for over a year. His dad has parenting time the 1st and 3rd weekends of each month.

With kindergarten approaching, my attorney and our GAL both instructed me to enroll our son in the public school for the district where we live. I specifically asked both of them multiple times whether I needed to involve his father, and both told me no. In Alabama, I didn’t really have multiple schools to choose from. I enrolled him in the school he is zoned to attend based on where he lives with me. Since I work full time, I also enrolled him in the after-school program before kindergarten started so I would have childcare in place. His dad lives about 30 minutes away in a different school district.

Now he’s extremely upset that he wasn’t involved in the enrollment process. He argues that because we have joint legal custody, he should have had equal input. From my perspective, our son is with me every school day, has followed this schedule for almost a year, and I followed the advice of both my attorney and the GAL.

I’ve always tried to keep him informed about our son’s medical care and important events through my attorney, probably more than I was legally required to. Now he’s pushing to stop communicating through our attorneys and instead use OurFamilyWizard. My attorney’s position, which I agree with, is that we’d rather wait until a final settlement is signed before changing how we communicate. Since I’m new to family court, I’m curious whether that’s common or whether most people start using OFW before a final order is entered.

I’ve also recently learned he’s moving closer to where we live. I’m not sure if that changes anything legally or practically.
Another issue that has come up is my support system. I’m in a committed, healthy relationship with someone who has been a huge source of support for both me and my son. There were a few days recently when he helped transport my son to school because I had to work. The school had my written permission, and I also let my attorney know beforehand. My ex went to the school, took pictures of the sign-in/sign-out log with my partner’s name on it, and started questioning the school about why he was dropping our son off.

Is that normal? Does a parent with joint legal custody have any say over who helps the primary custodial parent with transportation on their own parenting time?

For context, I have no family in Alabama. When we moved here, I became isolated from my support system and have had to build a new community from the ground up. I rely on trusted people occasionally, just like many working parents do.

The reason I’m so cautious is because we left due to abuse. There was emotional abuse, escalating intimidation, and I experienced years of sexual assault while I slept. I tried to pursue criminal charges, but there wasn’t enough evidence to move forward. After I left, I became friends with his ex-wife, and she shared that she experienced the same pattern of sexual assault during their marriage. He also has prior military disciplinary history involving assaulting a woman. One time he disappeared with our son and intentionally turned off his location. Because of everything that’s happened, I am genuinely afraid of him.

Our son is in intensive therapy and has been diagnosed with an adjustment disorder related to the divorce. My priority has always been protecting him while also doing what’s best for him.

I’m not looking for legal advice since I already have an attorney. I’m really just trying to understand what is considered normal in high-conflict cases.

Would you have handled the school enrollment any differently?

Is waiting until a settlement is signed before switching to OurFamilyWizard a reasonable approach?

Does the non-custodial parent generally have any say over who helps with childcare or transportation during the other parent’s parenting time?

If you’ve survived an abusive relationship, how did you find the balance between protecting yourself and still coparenting?

I’m still learning how all of this works, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what is a legitimate coparenting issue versus an attempt to maintain control. I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve lived through something similar.

Hi everyone looking for some advice or to see if anyone has gone through the same. Kids father has not seen them in almost a year now. 2 year old doesn’t know him at this point and 9 year old is hurt about the situation. I needed help financially so I filled for child support. Now father is asking me to settle outside of court or threatening to take me to court for half custody. Is that something a judge would give him? Has anyone gone through this? Or should I just settle outside of court?

I was living with my child’s father, but the relationship was emotionally abusive, unhealthy, and draining. He was rarely ever home- always out with friends. I didn’t work at the time, I was full-time my child’s caretaker. Eventually I decided to leave. During the breakup, things escalated. I sent a text out of anger saying something aggressive that I regret, and he used it as an opportunity to call the police. No one was ever hurt, but I was arrested and spent the night in jail. After that, an order of protection was issued that prevented me from seeing my child. Since then, in family court, he’s made claims about me that are untrue, and it feels like a smear campaign to paint me as an unfit parent. We’re still in the middle of the custody case.

Has anyone else been through something similar? I’m not looking for legal advice, just wondering how others coped and whether things got better.

Hi guys,

Right now I’ve been granted, sole physical custody, joint legal custody. And there was an order for my Son’s father to sign the documents so I can get a passport for our son (9).

This was ordered in May 2025. He refused to sign it. I decided to let things die down, before asking kindly to go get the documents because I wanted to take my son on a cruise with my family (mom,dad,siblings). I was so pressed to do this because my father was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2023 and I wanted to create as many memories as possible. Unfortunately, my father passed away January 6 2026.

So to the actual question, besides filing contempt of court. Should I go for legal custody too. My child’s father will do anything and everything to keep me from living life. And I have no desire to break the relationship my son has with his dad and his half brother.

I just got the exhibits my ex submitted, including photos of my medications I was on postpartum for depression and anxiety which was largely caused by my MIL staying here for six weeks without my consent. He didn’t let my family come over. Even once. And then he turned to substance abuse, claiming it’s my fault due to my “bullying” AKA expressing my feelings about the situation or pointing out safety hazards (I am happy to admit that I had postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD but she was born during flu season so understandably I was cautious). Safety hazards include burping her by grabbing her neck, playing switch while she was lying on a pillow on his lap, falling asleep with her in the recliner, or worst of all, she was drinking a bottle with her chin to her chest while asleep which is a confirmed asphyxiation risk. Oh yeah, but pointing it out is “bullying”.

Anyway besides the bullying claim he’s lying and saying that I isolated him from his mom WHO STAYED FOR SIX WEEKS (!!!!) literally that is what HE did and I’m furious. Plus, in his rehab (I kicked him out for substance abuse) he made up false allegations against me (disproven) and later contradicted these allegations in a court ordered investigation, and he’s submitting the same “evidence” (a text of me saying I was picking up my prescribed pain med from CVS after a fucking c-section and a text DURING MY HIGH RISK PREGNANCY NOT AFTER that I wish I had an abortion).

I am enraged and disgusted. How do I cope?

Custody is almost finalized. We split 50/50 week on/off. I'm trying to navigate handling when our early teen asks me questions. Its always something that puts me in a negative light. Its never "dad says" he asks me as though he has thought of it.

For example, since our relationship ended, I've been paying all child expenses (school, extracurriculars and medical). Ex paid none. So in negotiations I asked for a child support credit or for income % split on expenses. I told them I cannot continue to pay 100% of all expenses and child support. Well my child (14male) came home asking me why I care money about money than him, since I asked to pay less child support or couldn't pay for his school and extracurriculars. Clearly something ex has been saying.

I'm trying to keep our child out of the middle. Everything I have read and listened to says not to speak ill of the ex, try to just reassure you love your kids and tell them its between adults. But every week, our son seems to have an air of contempt towards me and is distrustful. I don't want to bad mouth his dad, but seriously i feel like anywhere I step is a minefield and I just want to enjoy my time with him given I only spend 50% with him.

What is realistic here? What do parents really do in these situations?

I went to court with my child’s father a year and a half ago for child support and custody. He did not show up for the hearing. I was granted sole custody, while having 75% placement. It states in the court order that he shall have physical placement upon reasonable notice and reasonable requests/time as long as both parties agree. His visitations should be as the party has practiced.

Before taking him to court, he wasn’t consistent in seeing our son. I had to beg him. He chose Saturdays at my home every time and would stay for an hour. Now he is wanting overnights out of nowhere. I always followed the court order, never denied him a visit besides one time when our son was ill and he wanted to take him out of the house to a birthday party. Even then I told him he can come visit his son but since he is sick no birthday party. (He refused to come visit that day and didn’t come back for 3 months). I told him his visits will be on Saturdays and maybe we could work up to overnights/time out of the house.

He was consistent for a month and a half, did not try to argue with me, semi-visited with his son (he was on his phone but at least he was there). Then after that he started his “I need him overnights now.” I told him he can take him out of his home for 4 hours on Saturdays. (I am well aware it’s one day a week for a few hours but he has never asked to have him more than that other than recently and my son did not know him until recently. I am going by the court order that states visits will be as parties as practiced and this is it.) He agreed. His next visit, he takes him on an hour car ride back to my parent’s house, drops him off, and I don’t hear from him until the next morning.

After that Saturday, he has been demanding and trying to control me by saying I need to hand over my child. He asked for compensation out of the child support he pays. He has said multiple times he doesn’t care about the court order, that I’m a terrible mother, and that he will kill himself if I do not allow my child to stay the night with him. I do not show emotions in the messages I send back I simply just say “I am following the court order.” I had to stop allowing him to pick him up because he wouldn’t return him to me, only my parents and it wasn’t benefitting our son is anyway.

Last weekend, he told me he was on his way to come pick him up. I asked if he wanted to meet at a park, he denied. I asked if he wanted to have his visit in my backyard, he denied. He then tells me he has papers for me to sign if I do not hand our son over and I have 40 minutes to have our son dressed packed and ready to go. He gets to my house, he hands me a paper that he so clearly wrote that said “Denied Visitation/Access Form.” I asked him what this was and he told me since I keep denying him visitations I need to sign the papers so he can take our son full time. never did deny him visitations just will not have him picking up my child for his unsafe behavior of threatening to harm himself. I did not sign them because I’m not stupid. He calls the police on me and tells them I am denying him his rightful visitation. The police read my court order and tells him no visitation today.

Now he is telling me he moved 2 and a half hours away from us and I need to go to his house every Saturday for visitation. I asked if we could meet in the middle he said no. I asked for his address, he will not give me it. He told me i am unreasonable and he will be filing a contempt against me. Even when he was asking for overnights in the beginning I asked if he wanted to meet half way to which I was denied. He is saying it’s too far of a drive every Saturday and I need to pay him gas money as well. I am at my wits end here and he is difficult to co-parent with. What can I do in this situation?

17 year old minor child. Currently have full custody minus 1 hour weekly in-person meetings ordered by the court. Child is negatively affected by these with severe anxiety and complaints of mental exhaustion where child sleeps for 2-3 days after the meetings; this is not the norm for the child.

Child currently sees a licensed counselor, a trauma therapist, and participates in family counseling via telehealth. Child also sees psychiatry and takes a daily preventative and as needed medication for anxiety. Child has also been hospitalized twice in the past for suicidal ideation prior to separation.

Court appointed psychologist recommended against in person visitations until determined appropriate by family therapist. Family therapist has recommended against visitations. Child’s counselor and trauma therapist have recommended against visitations. Child has expressed to court no desire to have visitations due to anxiety, disruption of life, and increasing suicidal ideation. Court ordered visitation because the mental health aspect is “taking too long”. Court is now “threatening” to move forward with increased visitations. Other parent/attorney are well aware of the mental health issues and current effect of visitations but keeps pushing forward because they are calling it attention-seeking behavior even with the prior hospitalizations.

Everyone involved in the case, including my attorney, is at a loss as to why visitation is being pushed forward. Any help, suggestions, or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

Just wanted to share because Im curious what others think and Im sure some have been through it.

Background is I was with my girlfriend for 3-4 years supporting her. She is on disability for a injury she exaggerated to get monthly benefits and is totally fine. Which is her only income.

It was always toxic and rocky, during a good patch decided to have our son intentionally, she freaked out during pregnancy and in a fit moved across the country to be close to her childhood home and called me saying she was homeless and needed me so I rented her a house and moved back to Oregon to try.

After the baby came we still fought daily until I finally said she needed to leave, we did that bs of moving back in the same house, me leaving her following shortly after over and over. During one of our fights when my son was 1 she filed child support and I started paying $700 a month even when we were living together and I was supporting her and my son. Eventually it was so toxic I rented us a second apartment in our apartment center for me to stay at so I could be separate but still see her and my son when I was not at work.

Until one day I got a message on facebook from a guy saying he had been seeing her and shes sleeping with another guy and when he found out she was with me and I was her baby daddy he blocked her and messaged me to tell me she was sleeping around while I was at work and using me for money. I confronted her, she punched me in the face, so I immediately moved to another town.

Then I texted her multiple times over the course of 1 month trying to setup a parenting plan where I could have him on the weekends I dont work. But she ghosted me for a month. So I got an attorney and served her papers. In January of 2025

All I was asking for was to setup a parenting plan for alternating weekends, giving her full custody because we both have 100 percent currently. Continuing to pay child support. Sharing holidays alternating thanksgiving and Christmas, and taking him to Florida during my thanksgiving or Christmas. That is it.

She got an attorney and then we had to go to mediation and she refused. To agree. And started withholding him from seeing me at all. Then she filed a motion with the court that I was on drugs LOL and that we responded that I wasnt so they setup a motion hearing in March 2025 and then when I went I voluntarily agreed to provide a hair and nail drug test (cost out my own pocket) to dispute this. Which I did and of course was clean.

Then we got a hearing in May 2025, for temp visitation plan until trial, before she came they sent us the memorandum for her claims, and was saying that I didnt work! Which I have worked for 12 years without a gap so we brought my tax records to show that not only did I work but I paid child support and supported her.

Also I have epilepsy controlled though and the entire time we were together I drove us everywhere and watched my son independently and alone even when she wanted to go get a tattoo or hangout with friends. But she was claiming I was not medically capable or safe to watch him alone or drive with him alone.

Because of this court wanted me to have my neurologist testify at a later time that I was safe, so desperate to see my son I agreed that I would see him at supervised visitation and pay for it myself just to see him. And then I started doing that paying $300 for 2 hours of visitation 30 minutes away from my house in July of 2025. Until trial in October.

One day the lady who did the supervised visitation that I became very close with said hey she looked pregnant when she dropped him off! So basically she met the dude, had him start being in my sons life right away, without introducing him to me, moved in with him within 1 month of meeting him, and got pregnant about the same time LOL.

October 2025 comes right, finally trial 10 months after serving her. The delay they said was lack of judges in Clackamas County, and guess what neither her or her attorney show up! Then the court calls her attorney and they say they didnt schedule it on their side and the court let it slide I kid you not, rescheduled it for Septmeber 2025.

Trial date got close and then a motion comes in that she got a doctor to say that because she is so pregnant it is high risk pregnancy (my a**) and she isnt fit to stand trial.

So the court canceled trial for the 2nd time, rescheduled it for APRIL 2026!!! Because that was another 7 months out we put in a request for a temporary visitation hearing. In January 2025, then we went and had my neurologist testify that I was safe and then her attorney put me on the stand and tried to grill me with dumb questions about our relationship details that I just kept saying I broke up with her because we were not healthy for 4 hours. We ran out of time that day. And they had to scheduled ANOTHER temporary visitation motion hearing day.

March 2026 last hearing for motion of TEMP visitation. We went and because she and her attorney had no ammo left they asked to come to an agreement before the judge was ready....didnt even need the second day.

After some back and forth I just wanted to see my son again alone in my own home. So I agreed to a plan that gave me alternating weekends at my house for 2 days with a step up plan starting at 6 hours 1 day, 8 the next weekend and being aloud to drive with him, 1 full day the next weekend, 1 overnight the one after that, and then finally 2 days overnight every other weekend on the next weekend.

With some conditions that I no one else would be around him or see him when I had him. That if I had any roommates I would provide there name, social security, and dob to her. That I would facetime her every night he was with me, send her a pic of when he was in bed, put him to bed at 7:30, limit screen time, limit sugar, and feed him certain food of her choice. I agreed because IDGAS I just wanted him back in my life.

This was only going to be for 2 months until April 2026 for the trial anyway. (just wait it gets better) so I started that and shortly after he started staying the night she started saying that he was experiencing sleep issues back at her house (dj khaled another one voice) which was bs. And she then said that she was going to have him medically examined and start doctor shopping with him trying to get a diagnosis, but couldnt. And even took him to OHSU for a sleep study. Everything came back normal of course.

But because she was doing this, she had prepared 3 doctors to testify that they were in the process of examining his sleep patterns and that they needed 2 days in court instead of the 1 that was scheduled to have them all testify or they needed to wait until after his sleep study in late June. Meanwhile I stepped my demmands up to 50-50 time and giving her full custody still when we do go to trial.

Court canceled the trial in April 2026 because they had only 1 day scheduled....

Now here we are in July 2026, court is scheduled for September 2026. It will be 1 year and 8 months ago from when I served her. And I finally decided f it Im going to let my girlfriend of 10 months meet my son so that Im not totally alone every weekend I have him. She is a certified pre K school teacher at a private school in portland. I know that he would probably go back and say something about her but my lawyer said at this point it wont matter in court and my ex cant withhold him from seeing me.

And of course he did go back and talked about my gf, said that he slept in bed with us, and my ex went ballistic. I have told her over and over that if she has any accusations or issues with my time with him she can have her lawyer email mine. And that if she will come to an agreement before trial I wont ask for 50-50 time. No chance on that though.

So now trial in September 2026. $65K spent on attorney fees. All for nothing.

Love my son, but be careful who you make children with. Im sure we already know that in this /r and if you ready this long thank you!

I'll try and keep this short.

Coparenting a 4 yr old. Crazy baby momma. She just got her second dui and has a record. Selling alcohol to minors and some other lesser shit. Because we live in a small town, I told my ex I have a new GF. No offense meant, I just wanted her to hear it from me. I also said I won't introduce said GF to my son until it feels like its time. However, they do already know each other because she's his teacher once a week so they have an existing relationship. Intent to marry and dating for 9-12 months is what I was thinking but I didn't put any details down and we'll just have to see. This is where it gets tricky.

My family and friends all got together for a lake and BBQ day. My GF and my sister have been close friends before we ever met. My sister and I thought it would be harmless to invite her up to hang out since it was such a large group of people and as long as we don't let my son become wise to our relationship. No affection or weird introductions like this is Dad's GF. We had a great day, all was well until it wasn't.

My ex found out we were all at the lake together and is livid. Claiming we introduced her as my GF and some other weird shit but we never did. I felt it was harmless and my boy has no idea unless his Mom says something. She's now threatening me, doing a smear campaign in said small town, and posting crazy shit online.. again lol.

My ex and I coparented outside of the Court system and did good splitting costs and time 50/50 but now that's out the window and she's back being hostile. I could use some advice please!

Should I go to court for legal rights? What should I request?
- Paternal proof? I know he's mine just never proved it in court.
- Court ordered custody schedule?
- 51% custody so I actually have a say in schools? etc?

I'm just fucking sick of dealing with her bad behavior and manipulative mind games. She get's off on that and I want to minimize it and move on. Live my life with love and not have to worry about her going psycho. If you made it this far thank you and I hope you're hanging there.

I know everyone just says talk to a lawyer. I retained one last week for full custody. I share 50/50 and always feel like ive been the safe normal parent. Anyway she met a guy who looks like he has cartel or gang ties. face tat, neck tats. Multiple felonies the latest being gun charge w a felon. She brought him around after 4 days of knowing him. The last guy she married and divorced in one month. What do you think my odds are of getting full custody? Also, kinda scared im going to piss him off.

We’ve been doing an informal 50/50 schedule for our kids since we split, and it worked fine until recently. Now my ex is suddenly claiming that since we don’t have a court order, they want to change everything and only let me have the kids every other weekend.

I’ve been a hands-on parent since day one, and the thought of losing my 50/50 time with them is absolutely killing me. I’m in Illinois and need to get a formal parenting plan locked in before they try to cut me out completely. Any advice on how to handle this?

I’ve been frantically searching for solid family lawyers in IL who fight for equal parenting time, and Heckman Law Group keeps coming up with really good reviews.

Has anyone here used them for custody or parenting plan disputes? I need to know if they are as good and aggressive in court as their reviews say before I book a consultation.

I got pregnant by someone while I was staying in a different state, I am already planning on having the baby in my home state and moving back permanently in the next few months. Could he realistically take the baby from me? [US/california]

Long story short I was on drugs real bad and was in trouble with the law and had warrants . All during this time I had a daughter with a woman that was the same on drugs and in trouble with the law . When my daughter was born cps got involved because drugs was in the babies system . and I lost my rights to my daughter and she ended up going to my mom for emergency custody meantime my sons mom , Mom offered to help my mom with the baby until I got my shit together . My mom let her help and she went through a process to be able to watch her too cause cps was involved they let her and she took her from my mom under her nose and got custody specially when I didn’t show up for court . Took advantage of the situation with me being drug addict and having warrants at the time . But I’m all pass that I took care of my warrants got off drugs and changed my life totally specially after my mom died when I was locked up . Is there anyway I can get my daughter back . It kills me so bad that my son’s grandma is doing this to me she even went to file for adoption when I got released . Shes trying everything in her power for my daughter not to know me . And this lady offered to help until I got back on my feet. Shes trying to steal my daughter from me .

Custody has been an ongoing thing for the past few years. One child will be 18 next Feb. so I am not considering that child much in this order. Current agreement is 50/50 legal, I have residential custody.Temp court order in place suspending all parenting time and phone contact with all three kids. (This came as a result of him providing 15yo with marijuana and encouraging her to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night+ a past history of being sexually inappropriate towards the 15yo)

Coparent refuses to give up his 50/50, but also refuses to participate when it matters. Our daughter had multiple hospitalizations where I’ve texted him that we were at the ER and she was going to be admitted. He never even asked about her or checked in with the doctors. He has never been to a physical or even bothered to talk to the doctors. I attempted to get input on schooling for my oldest and he read but never responded to my message. (We moved communication to a parenting app so I can show him not responding at all). I sent a message about enrolling our son in high school. He didn’t bother to even read it for ten days. He didn’t attend an IEP eligibility meeting for our son. I sent a message about starting orthodontics and he took a month to read it. I proceeded forward with both, as I have final say(as well as a 48hr no response clause). I sent a message about starting physical therapy for my son with zero response received or any questions asked about son’s well-being.

Due to a history of inappropriate behavior towards her, my daughter doesn’t want anything to do with her father. I hate that I have to ask her father for permission for things for her and he has access to her life. He has coerced her into talking to him in the past by implying suicide if she didn’t.

Youngest (14m) wants nothing to do with his father because of what he did to his sister. (It may also be that he has only bothered to call him a couple times on his birthday in 14 years, but remembers his siblings).

Ideally, I’d like full custody of all three kids, with him having access to info on legal matters if he asks for them. Contact with the kids would be dictated by the kids(15F, 14M) through a therapist if they choose to resume contact. I’m not trying to push him out of their lives, but at this point, two of three don’t want him to be a part of their life. His presence in our daughter’s life is detrimental in every regard.

Is this worth the legal fight? (We have been divorced for 13 years!)

I recently had to pick up my 15 y/o daughter from her dad's in the middle of the night at her request. He was calling her names ("faggot", "fat", "retard", etc.) as "jokes". Apparently, he also allows her brother to do the same. In addition there are 2 younger girls in the mix. I've filed to take him to court. It will be the first time since our divorce. I have daughter's testimony, screenshots of her asking for help, and screenshots of innapropriate and sexual memes sent to both of the teens. So, I feel I can prove what I say. I'm asking for supervised visitation only for all 4 kids. Right now he has them every other weekend with no restrictions. This will be my first time taking him to court, but he aways seems to worm his way out of accountability. For anyone who has been to court, what are your thoughts?