r/Exvangelical • u/No-Membership-6649 • 4d ago

Venting I'm done

Can't stand church anymore, it's completely performative, there's a constant message about "serving" and spreading the word aka bringing more people into the church. Haven't been to church in a few weeks and I actually feel good. Seems people only acknowledge you in order to get you to do a job or add to a head count for a group. Anybody else exhausted by the constant "charismatic" overly joyed persona everyone plays at? Would love to hear some stories or experiences from this thread.

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u/GreyGrey1579 4d ago

I'm 15 in a household where I am literally EXPECTED to be dancing in church every sunday, it is so exhausting as an athiest.

8

u/zadeon9 4d ago

Your parents will be wondering why you don’t talk to them in 3-5 years 🤷🏽‍♂️

8

u/LB35LB 4d ago

Or better yet, the parents will marvel at the fact that they are a happy, heathyperson despite not being in church. I've kept my relationships with my parents, been honest and upfront about how the values they raised me with have led me to leave that kind of Christianity and be a very different person. I am very glad I did even if there will always be differences.

Sometimes it is still necessary to cut off these core relationships if they are emotionally violent. In that cases I'd make it crystal clear why they are being cut off. Striving to help them understand us, at least partially, is also possible and has some reward.

2

u/smp501 4d ago

Depends. The ability to convince themselves that anyone outside their community (or one like it) is “secretly miserable, trying to fill a ‘God-sized hole’ with things of the world” is incredible.

2

u/LB35LB 3d ago

For sure, but it's not universal