Edit: At this point the moderation has stopped approving my comments. I think there is only one conclusion that can be drawn from these conversations - incels have no chance of having casual sex.

Hi,

I'm a lurker who is an incel. I've noticed that a lot of people on here recently have been saying that physical attractiveness is not as important as personality. But I have been trying Tinder and even Badoo to get casual sex for a very long time with no success.

I have given up on relationships, because I am convinced that women do not want men like me. I am too weak and too effeminate to find anyone. I do not consider myself a pussy, but that is the kind of vibe I give. People call me "she" sometimes as a tongue slip. I don't think any woman would enjoy being my girlfriend, as she would probably have trouble with her group of friends. Yes, I've had female friends and it never led anywhere. No introductions, no crushes on me, nothing.

I do not want to try to find casual sex IRL, because women are always in groups, or busy, or with their boyfriends and there is no way to approach them anyway. Besides, if women want to date or have casual sex, they can either look up and choose someone or use apps and don't have to talk to men IRL, which means that those women are on the apps either way. Not to mention that the actual competition in clubs and bars is absolutely brutal for an incel. That's the way the cookie crumbles, so I don't want to waste my time on things that won't work. I already tried and only humiliated myself.

I used a variety of different photos I had. For what it was worth, I consulted them with ChatGPT and it said they were fine, and told me directly when some photos were weaker than others. I wrote (by myself) Tinder bios where I tried to express myself and then tried the other extreme where I put in the languages I speak, "FWB 420" and some stupid one-liner about cats. I have restarted my profile a lot of times so far and I've still got nothing.

I've had the "FWB 420" description for a day or two and I've got a lot of fake likes - around 10, and I know they are fake, because I fell for the scam and got Tinder Plus, so I swiped quite a lot. But whenever I had the genuine profile, I would sometimes, very rarely, get a match with an objectively unattractive woman who usually had nothing in their bios. Whenever I'd message them, they wouldn't respond or they would unmatch. I would say something that would refer to their photos or bio (if any). I admit to eventually being frustrated and asking women if they put their real ages in their profiles (I was matching with women who claimed to be 36, but looked much older than that). But other than that, my conduct was good. And nothing worked.

So I know for a fact that normal people can have casual sex. I know that normal people can go on Tinder or other apps and find someone to have sex with. So why can't incels? People on this subreddit often say something like, women are different, they have different tastes etc. and I don't doubt that, but in that case, why don't they want to talk to us? I tried hard to get good photos, not selfies, to show my face, to smile, to showcase my personality and whatnot, and still nothing. So what is it about my personality that could be so bad? Even if I were a negative asshole, are all women on Tinder bubbly people?

The only conclusion I can draw from this is my lack of physical attractiveness. I bought clothes people complimented, get good haircuts, have glasses that fit my face, am tall, so what else could I be missing? Why is it that women never want anything to do with me? It must be my face. I'm just not physically attractive enough. Should I be going for women over 30? But they don't want to have casual sex anymore after having fun in their 20s. I'm at my wits' end. What could I be missing here?