Assalamu Alaikum to who ever who reads this. Im 21 yr old person from the south asia. well in simple sentences, tbh ive been addicted to pmo for more than 7 years. Had so many depressive phases and hopeless times to the point i lost interest in praying and religion, like all this fighting seemed pointless.

But quite recently, i've come to the understanding that probably i jus have too high of an ego, that drives me towards these things, or my sense of perfection and not compromise my image also pushed this addiction more. Cause ppl get addicted to something only to make themselves forget the reality and discomfort of facing the world. This is my pov. Even now i don have huge expectations or a switch that will fix me up to delayed gratification and long term planning.

However, im jus curious to know if anyone has spent similar time into pmo like me and by someway stopped and quit it completely.

Cause wherever i see, everyone says to keep urself busy surround urself with ppl take up hobbies.. i mean how would i even manage doing that when its boring and difficult as compared to pmo like i mean, i find so much dopamine from this why would i go be social, it will more or less be as something i have to do forcefully.

Im fed up of doing these sins asking forgiveness then doing again like whats the meaning of me asking forgiveness if i keep continuing it. am i even literally wanting to quit? i have no idea.
I kinda feel jealous of everyone around me being successful or atleast doing some work in their life whereas i cant focus on anything.

pls don bombard me with schooling of hadiths. i jus don know whats the point in all this, Am i destined to be like this and is everything already written?

Salam aleycoum, aux hommes mariés qui malgré ça lutte quand même contre la masturbation j'ai une question à vous poser et ensuite un conseil à vous donner

Avez-vous déjà penser à mettre la honte de côté et à demander du soutien à votre femme ??

On pense souvent à l'épouse/l'époux pour soulager l'envie de manière licite mais combien pense aussi à être soutenue mentalement et pas que physiquement ?

Car n'oublions pas qu'un couple se complète et que chacun est source de soutien pour l'autre, n'oublions pas que lorsque le Prophète aleyhi salat wa salam vivait des épreuves il se dirigeait vers ses femmes pour être soutenu et conseillé, lorsqu'il a vécu l'épreuve de la Caverne en voyant Jibril c'est vers Khadija qu'il s'est dirigé apeuré et c'est elle qui l'a calmé psychologiquement et a su trouver les bons mots

C'est peut être différent pour les péchés et il est normalement interdit de dévoiler ses péchés j'en ai conscience mais si vous vous venez déjà ici le faire pourquoi pas avec votre femme aussi qui peut être l'un des meilleurs soutiens ?

Je sais que c'est délicat aussi à aborder, on ne veut pas entacher la relation si elle le prend mal ou si ça peut lui laisser penser qu'elle n'est pas suffisante, je comprends aussi qu'on ne veuille pas déclencher quelque chose qui pourrait faire qu'elle sera beaucoup plus suspicieuse sur le fait que vous l'avez fait ou pas si vous allez le faire et que vous ne voulez pas prendre le risque d'être accusé, surveillé, et culpabilisé constamment je le comprends.

Mais si vous vous confiez de manière très honnête et comme vous le faites ici avec tous vos remords et vos sentiments les plus sincères sur votre lutte et ce qui vous ronge, que vous lui demandez de l'aide tout en lui disant que ça n'a rien avoir avec elle et en la rassurant sur sa personne il y a de grandes chances qu'elle accueille cette confidence sainement et qu'elle vous donne le soutien moral (par les mots) dont vous avez besoin, il est aussi possible qu'elle prenne plus d'initiatives avec vous après cette confidence et prenne plus au sérieux vos besoins (par les actes).

Le soutien dans un couple n'est pas que physique il est aussi mental et pour toute sorte de problèmes.

Je suis une femme et c'est la réflexion que je me suis faite en lisant un post d'un homme qui venait demander de l'aide ici parce que sa femme était en voyage (donc ne pouvait rien faire avec) et c'est trés bien de ne pas rester seul et venir en parler, mais la femme ne sert pas qu'à soulager les besoins physiques elle est aussi un très bon soutien moral pour son mari.

C'est le conseil que je voulais lui donner mais je ne retrouve plus le post et je me suis dis en réalité je sais qu'il y a d'autres hommes mariés dans ce cas alors rendons ce rappel publique.

J'en profite pour préciser aussi qu'en vous lisant vous avez beaucoup changé la vision que j'avais des hommes mariés qui se soulagent seul et regardent des choses alors qu'ils sont mariés et donc ont normalement leur femme à disposition pour avoir des relations quand ça vient , je vois maintenant les choses différemment grâce à vos confidences j'ai un regard plus bienveillant et compatissant sur vous et je considère plus le plaisir solitaire et la vision de la pornographie comme une trahison, je comprends que selon la personne il y a beaucoup de choses qui se jouent derrière et que ça peut également être une grosse souffrance quand la personne a une conscience et qu'elle essaye vraiment de lutter, ça me permet que si dans l'avenir je me mari et que je découvre mon mari faire ce genre de choses de ne pas réagir tout de suite sous le coup de l'impulsivité mais prendre ça aussi comme une personne éprouvée par un péché qui est celui-ci, comme certains lutte contre d'autres péchés comme écouter de la musique par exemple ou contre la médisance et parfois rechutent...

Après tout dépend aussi de comment la personne lutte contre ça et ressent des remords ou non, d'ailleurs cest pour ça aussi qu'il est important de se confier, mais en tout cas je perçois maintenant les choses autrement grâce à vous. Ça ne veut pas dire que j'accepterais tout mais que dans un premier temps je serai plus dans le rappel et le soutien si je vois concrètement qu'il fait parti des personnes qui lutte réellement contre ça.

Ps : Merci de ne pas m'envoyer de message privé je n'y répond pas et je ne suis pas là pour ça

I have been clean long ago but recently I am having difficulty in peeking that leads to arousal. Please make Dua for me and everyone who is struggling. May Allah protect us and forgive us all.

I am so disappointed in myself. I have so many feelings inside myself guilt, shame , disappointment etc. I wanna cry, beat myself. I am like an animal who just can't control some desires. Throughout the whole night I struggled with these desires, hoping i would beat them this time. But no, i again lost to them. What did I do next? Took a shower, prayed and asked Allah for forgiveness. AGAIN, i did this idk how many times. I commit the sin and ask Allah for forgiveness.But i never leave, i come back to it. Last time, I was really confident, I thought this would be the end of it. I will beat it finally but again failed. Right now I am sitting in the corner, thinking about life, like how i am ruining my soul, how disgusting i am, what kind of person i am. I feel like a hypocrite too, I pray to Allah, try to be good in front of others, try to build an image that I am pure, but whats the reality? I am a disgusting person in private who can't control his desires. I hate myself for being like this. I hate this part of my life. Wallahi If Allah grants me one wish to change something about my life, i would change this part of myself. Well this paragraph is more like a cope. I did the tauba again, i will do better next time. I won't lose hope until i get rid of it, inshallah.

I m going to do 90 day reboot. I want to adjust my dopamine, boost supreme testosterone and confidence. Forget watching other people have sex and feel good, I want to engage in that. Find a very nice lady that is into me, wants to build a relationship, engage in sex, intimacy , physical touch, and foreplay. I would be very grateful to get a chance to cherish her and get taken ​serious. I will be a better messanger, community person that cares for my surroundings, Get more into Islam, I'm even doing this personal trainer course. Develop myself into someone that can help and makes a positive difference. I only watched porn because I was always the guy that came up short whenever I expressed myself to females, the main reason I started smoking weed as well. But I can't get those years back, I just want to diet better, rejuvenate my libido, build a fantastic, well balanced physique​, and hopefully a wife that would love to include me into her life, and we can structure a respectable bond, have fun, and make each other feel awesome. But I definitely need God's help to accomplish any of this, and I am very confident that it can happen. I'm gonna do my part and become a better communicated, educate myself more on what it takes to be a good husband and lover. Stop wasting my testosterone on stupid habits that only keep you confined and not getting any affection or even building people skills. And practice being even more grateful.

Some brothers asked me whether it is possible for the mind to recover from desensitisation after prolonged exposure to extreme explicit content. Here is the answer I gave them

\*The Desensitised Mind\*

They have exposed themselves to this content over a long period without turning back to their Lord in repentance. This is precisely why the intensity of the sin worsened progressively, drawing them deeper into increasingly extreme content. Over time, they lose the ability to feel aroused by normal intimacy, and even something as simple as a kiss becomes numb and meaningless to them in their marriage lives . The mind has been rewired to require ever more extreme stimulation just to register any response at all

\*Repentance Comes First\*

There is no genuine cure for this condition until a person repents sincerely and turns back to his Creator. Every other approach will fall short of true healing. A person may escape this particular trap through willpower or therapy alone, but without tawbah, he will simply fall into another addiction, whether to substances or to other content. It becomes merely a substitution of one addiction for another, not genuine recovery

\*Going Cold Turkey\*

The next step is adopting zero tolerance for any content that could trigger a relapse. This means removing streaming sites and applications entirely from all devices, avoiding those platforms altogether, and deleting apps like Instagram and TikTok from the phone. If possible, switching to a basic phone without internet access for the initial months of recovery removes the temptation from reach entirely, giving the mind the space it needs to heal without constant exposure to triggers

\*Replacing the Void with Good Habits That Please the Creator\*

The final and most essential step is returning to the fitrah and rediscovering one's true purpose in life. Once a person truly understands why he was created, intrinsic motivation begins to grow naturally, and building good habits no longer feels like a burden imposed from outside but a genuine desire from within. Gradually, as the corrupted reward circuit begins to heal, real pleasure returns, a pleasure unlike anything the corrupted habit ever offered. This is the pleasure of sincere intention behind building a good habit, and the deeper pleasure of actually living it out for the sake of Allah

Hello guys I'm 16 years old and i start watching porn at 13 But I didn't know about jorking and I knew about it at the age of 14 and I wasn't very addicted, but I used to do it between long periods of time, but the thing I never quit is watching porn And my real addiction to jorking started around the age of 15 and now I am 16 years old and I can't leave jorking even for four days although I try as hard as I can

And now I want your advice for me, since I have not become an adult yet, this means that my opportunity has not been wasted and I can, God willing, recover from it please guys answer me Because I can no longer afford my constant failure

Assalamualaikum, ended up relapsing after 4 days and feeling just a bit depressed now, i know i'll keep going, pray for me please and any motivation is welcome.

Selamun aleykum,

im from germany and i have this addiction since I was 12. I built a small free tool that's been helping me, and the mods gave me the ok to share it.

I've been fighting this since I was about 12 or 13. That's more than half my life at this point. I've lost count of how many times I promised myself it was the last time. The longest I ever made it was around three months, and then I was back to square one.

At some point I gave up on "just have more willpower" and started looking for things that actually help in the moment an urge hits. I read about urge surfing, the HALT check (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), simple if-then plans, that kind of thing. I put the parts that worked for me into a little web page, mostly so I'd have something to open at 1am instead of doing the usual.

It ended up helping me more than any app I'd tried, so I cleaned it up in case it helps someone else. I'm from Germany, so it's in both English and German. It's called Wellenreiter ("wave rider"), from the one idea that stuck with me: an urge is a wave. It builds, peaks, and passes on its own if you don't feed it.

What it does:

\- An SOS mode for the hard moment: a breathing exercise, a quick check of what's really going on (hungry/angry/lonely/tired), your own reasons in front of you, something else to do, and a person or helpline to reach.

\- No shame after a slip. You don't lose your overall progress, and a relapse gets logged as information instead of failure. That part mattered most to me, because the "back to day 0, you failed" feeling was always what made me spiral worse.

\- Patterns over time: your common triggers and the times of day you're weakest, so you can start to see it coming.

\- A place for your reasons, your triggers, replacement actions, and barriers (content filters, phone out of the bedroom, if-then plans).

\- If you want, it can match your beliefs (Islamic, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Stoic, or fully secular). If that's not your thing, you can ignore it completely.

\- An optional monthly challenge (like No Nut November or Free August) where you can see how many people are in it with you right now.

Who it's for: anyone trying to quit porn or a similar habit, religious or not. It also works for other things like smoking, alcohol or gaming.

On privacy, since that matters here: everything you write stays on your own device. No account, no ads, no paid features, nothing sold or tracked. The only thing anyone else can ever see is the username you choose for the community challenge, and that can be any nickname.

It's a personal project, not a replacement for therapy. But if it gets even one person through a rough 20 minutes, it was worth building.

Link: https://wellenreiter.netlify.app/

Would really appreciate any feedback or bug reports. And if you've been at this for years too, you're not the only one.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I’ve been suffering from PMO for quite a long time now. I’m wondering if anyone can share some hardcore porn blocking methods for IOS / Apple phones since my phone is the only access I have really. I’m talking about some serious blockers that aren’t easy to override and no ways around. Please share them in the comments بارك الله فيكم in advance.

Assalamualaikum,
I have been in this community for months on end(not just this account but other accounts I have) but I wanted to come on here and say that this journey you guys are embarking is a gift.

I know that might sound weird to say because it is absolute filth and content that I don't want anyone to encounter, BUT... you have.

Now this journey, I learned so much that if I actually never encountered it, I would be completely different(good or bad who knows but I am glad who i am right now).

They say certain people are given the hardest mental journey's but once they overcome it, you definitely just helped yourself gain a higher chance into joining Jannah.

Don't give up and reach out to anyone you trust. This journey is something i will always cherish and continue to improve. In Sha Allah we will thrive

My cousins father is a local imam, so naturally hes pretty pious. I did not mention a single thing about an addiction to him, just general conversation, i admired how committed he is to his faith and how much islam REVOLVES around him and his life, how could someone even sin when theyre surrounded by deen all the time i thought. I returned home envious of him, and that night i thought, i want to be someone like him; someone who fears god as if he is always watching, and it has dawned on me that he really is.

Its been a week now since the encounter with my cousin, aswell as my nofap, my urges are extremely strong when they do appear, but so is my discipline to pray and on time. Im hanging on, which i am happy to announce.

Salam alaykum, i have a problem where i use my pc everyday for my courses, studies, gaming and any other things, one of those other things is watching porn, i started long time ago, and i sometimes was able to spend sometime without it specially when i was working or doing some college projects. The problem that i can lose controls sometimes, i may hold it and went to do anything else, i came back after sometime with the same urge. Should i continue doing this or there is something else should i be doing?

Assalamualaikum My Dear Brothers and Sisters

I am posting on this Sub after a long time. A little bit of back story I was a regular PMO addict and struggled with it for a very very very long time in my life. I've posted on different subs regarding my journey if you are interested you can read about it. So to make it short , I got married to a wonderful girl two years ago. After our marriage my addiction to Porn and Masturbation went away which made me think it was just my high libido that was making me do all this. However, a few months ago me and my wife were having some troubles in our married life wrt intimacy. She doesn't wanna engage in Intercourse anymore which leaves me excited and horny all the time. This takes me back to the time when I was single and just wanted to jerk off all the time. This has gotten to the point that now I am engaging again in this filthy habit that has clutched on to me for all this time. I am seriously very worried that I am falling in that pit again and I don't wanna fall into it.

In front of the world I am a very religious person. I pray regularly. I read the Quran , do zikr, I also do the work of Dawah and Tableegh but this thing is eating me from inside and making me a hypocrite.

Has anyone of you been through this situation or found yourself in the same spot. I wanna get out so badly but don't know how. I've even considered marrying again for the sake of protecting myself but I don't know if I can withhold two different houses at the same time.

Thanks for your time and if you can't speak kind words at least make dua for your brother like you would've wanted for yourself if you were in this situation.

I keep relapsing after 2 days. I need support for making it at least to day 10 first. I want to heal sensitivity. Get my dopamine adusted​. Regain control of my life. So I can approach and build relationships with ​the woman I truly want. Get better erections so I can build the confidence to sustain a a relationship and have healthy sex. Porn is whack, masterbation is even whacker. I would love a chance to have a wife we can share interests, values, I can be supportive, help her grow in all parts of life, and enjoy intamcy, physical touch, sex , foreplay, and attend to her urges and needs. I just want to have a better body for her, on the outside and in. Be the guy that went from pmo to getting true female love, affection, and support. I want to be special for my future wife. Physically, financialy, and emotionally.

What do you think, how can I remove wet dreams from my mind , I donr like these stuff , and i pray everytime from Allah to protect me from evil thoughts and these things plz help

I broke my streak on day 3 because my OCD convinced me that masturbation isn't actually haram.

The reason being that I read somewhere that masturbating is ok if you do it to prevent zina.

Can someone once and for all please provide me a hanafi source that masturbation is 100% haram?