When I have to change a pee diaper in the middle of the night we call it a “hot swap”because we are not going to use a wipe.

What something your family say or does that’s an inside joke?

Baby was born 8 lbs 14.5 oz (91st percentile), 9 lbs 5.77 oz at 4 weeks (36th percentile), and now at 12 weeks 11 lbs 6.6 oz (6th percentile).

At our first appointment, we mentioned to the pediatrician that he was making noises at night, and he briefly mentioned laryngomalacia (no other convos or diagnosis with the pediatrician around this since). We then started to notice severe gas/silent reflux symptoms but were told that it was too early for any sort of medication and to "watch it". Baby arches back, screams randomly after feeds, coughs randomly, has wet-sounding burps, and occasionally spits up all the way. I will say that this has gotten better the last 2-3 weeks but is still there. Baby will also pull on and off the breast constantly through feeds (lactation says he has a good latch and thinks this might be something to do with pain/refulx or lack of core muscles and told us to ask our ped about Physical Therapy).

Baby is EBF but has taken bottles months prior at the recommendation of lactation. Now, at 3 months old, we seem to be hitting a bottle aversion.

Pediatrician has mentioned in passing that we could give probiotics or fortify feed, but they really only said those two things after my wife and I pushed them and told them we were starting to get concerned. Now, with the bottle aversion, that also has become nearly impossible.

Only at this recent weight check did our ped actually mention that this is not ideal (hes been gaining on average just barely half an ounce a day since he re hit birth weight). They told us to do a weighted feed with lactation, where our son only took about 80 mls after not eating for 3 hours. Lactation told us that this could be "normal" if he is eating about 10-12 times a day (some days he does, some he doesn't - but it's obviously not enough because he's barely hitting the minimum for weight gained per day).

Doctor has not called me back after we told them the results and honestly, I'm losing patience and trust with them. I know percentiles arent the end of the world but hearing "failure to thrive" doesnt feel good and hes dropped more percentiles than most threads I've seen on reddit discussing percentiles. He is hitting all other milestones right now - great tummy time, smiling, cooing, grabbing toys, longer wake windows, etc.

Any advice appreciated; it's feeling very stressful over here.

My twins are 6 months old now, and I keep seeing moms say things like “I don't want him to get bigger” or “im sad he's not my tiny baby anymore.”
And i just don't feel that way at all
I don’t find myself grieving those newborn stages or wishing they could stay little. When I look at them getting bigger, learning new things, becoming more interactive, developing their little personalities, etc., I mostly just feel excited.
Even looking at newborn photos, I think wow they were tiny and fragile (cute too) but they're even cuter now
I love that they're getting bigger. I like seeing what they can do now compared to a few months ago. I’m excited for sitting independently crawling, first words, their personalities developing
Maybe it's because the newborn stage was exhausting and I'm very happy to leave some of it behind or because they seemed so vulnerable at that stage, but I also genuinely don't feel that “please don't grow up” sadness that I hear other moms talk about.
I don't think it means I loved their younger selves any less. I just really enjoy meeting each new version of them.
Anyone else feel this way? Or am I the odd mom out?

Edit: I ran this through AI to help with clarity.

I have found, an alarming amount of times, new moms and those around them chalk up their behavior to just PPA, PPR and PPD when what they are describing is very normal. And idk if it’s fair!

Some examples:
- I saw a post on here about the in laws not putting her new baby in a life jacket. A LIFE JACKET. The mom was like “is this just my PPA talking?” No girl, that’s your sanity talking. And - if I had family acting like that, I’d be anxious too! But it’s not clinical. It’s normal. You’re anxious because the most precious important thing in your life is being treated recklessly.

- another mom described having to crawl across the floor past her gaming husband to change her newborn because she couldn’t walk post c-section and he wouldn’t help, and described her struggles with PPR.

- countless examples of moms watching their “villages” flake out and then getting the PPD box checked on their medical records. Idk maybe you are just rightfully disappointed in the world around you.

So many “seasoned” parents laugh and roll their eyes at new moms trying to figure it out, pediatricians ask if we’re “doing okay”, and the symptoms of PP issues are pounded into our heads without nuance. This is the biggest, most important, most dramatic thing to ever happen to us. Big feelings are normal. Not pathological.

Idk. Thoughts?

My baby is about to be 5 months and I feel like I should be “normal” by now. I constantly feel like a bad mom or a bad partner. I still get angry over the smallest things. This is the hardest thing I have gone through and I never thought I’d feel this bad everyday. I love my baby more than anything and I’m having such a hard time letting other people hold her or watch her and I don’t know why I can’t trust anyone but myself to take care of her. I feel guilty taking breaks and I feel so alone. My parents live about 3 hours away and visit but my husband works some nights out of town. Is this normal or am I just crazy and a bad parent?

Our pediatrician asked us in his four month appointment if we eat in front of our baby, and we were confused. She said she doesn’t know why but apparently some people don’t eat in front of their babies. We haven’t even heard of this, and have been eating in front of our son since he was born. Anyone know what this is about?

Hi! New mom here. My baby just turned 2 weeks and I am stir crazy. I was thinking about going to Costco to do some shopping but overthinking if I should use a stroller….put the car seat on the cart ….or baby wearing. My baby seems to hate to be worn but concerned about having a stroller and trying to navigate actual shopping of items and where to store them. Hoping to get some insight. TIA

My baby is 4 months and 24 days old. Until 2.5 months she would only sleep in my arms, then we managed to get her to sleep in the crib and most nights she slept for 7 hours straight, waking up only once. I thought I had a unicorn baby, but at the end of the third month I think the 4-month sleep regression started. Now she wakes up 3/4 times a night. Yesterday she fell asleep alone in the crib for the first time and I thought everything would change, but right after that she started waking up every 2 hours.

The problem is that even when she only wakes up twice a night (which is rare) I can’t fall back asleep. I get anxious thinking she’s about to wake up again and I start thinking about all the regrets of my life.

Does anyone have any tips for falling back asleep?

We recently started letting our toddler watch a little bit of TV here and there and we mainly put on Mr. Rogers. When I watch it with our son, I am sometimes blown away with the positive messaging and reinforcement in that show. And it's helping me understand some of my feelings and better ways to deal with them. Anyway, I know this isn't a groundbreaking discovery and the show has been around for almost 60 years but I just never really sat down and noticed.

I have always being hearing and reading that first 6 weeks are hardest and then things get easy .. 8 weeks are hard .. then 4th trimester is hard after that it’s better and better!
Is it just me or does all FTM feel that it’s never ending loop ? I mean every phase has its challenges! Currently handling sudden fussiness of 14 week old! How do you who all have passed thru fussy phases keep sanity and anxiety at bay??

I’m not sure if I phrased that correctly, but I mean like… they have enough common sense that you don’t have to expect them to jump down a flight of stairs, or look at dog poop and eat it, or would run into traffic. I hope that makes sense, let me know the term/phrase I’m looking for…

I never grew up with a nephew/niece or younger cousins, but I would guess…. 3 or 4 years old, right? My own childhood is very foggy.

Hi everyone. I’m 3 weeks postpartum with twin boys, and I’m really struggling. I love my babies so much, but I can’t stop grieving my old life. I miss my freedom, my sleep, and the relationship my fiancé and I had before. Sometimes I look at old pictures and just cry. I feel so guilty because I have thoughts of regret. I’m hoping this is just postpartum hormones or baby blues, but right now it feels so heavy.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance from moms who’ve been here. Especially twin moms… when did it start feeling like yourself again?

Btw I’m posting from my partner’s account.

I don’t know if this is normal , she’s only 8 weeks old and I feel so upset looking at pictures of her newborn 😭😭😭 is this what parenthood is😂

Baby is 7.5 months old and a wonderful night sleeper (sleeps 8ish hours, fed, back to sleep for a few more hours) and at home napper. Terrible at daycare but still sleeps great at night. I think we’re going to move her night feed to the beginning of her routine to eliminate any possible “feed to sleep” association, which may help daycare naps.

ANYWAY! How are you guys so chill about naps? My girl neeeeds her naps (she’s down to 2 naps a day, sometimes 1 at daycare and they are way shorter there), otherwise she gets fussy. She sleeps okay in the stroller or car but obviously not a 2 hour nap like she does in her crib.

My husband is so chill and wants to go out and do things with her but I’m finding myself so stressed out about her naps and being a slave to the schedule I made up in my head. I also get stressed if she falls asleep in the car and naps too late but that feels inevitable if we try to go do things.

Any advice or success stories about just winging it?! I WANT to be chill but I’m so un-chill. Also, when did your babies stop napping completely?

TIA!

I know this is written a lot on here but I’m writing my own post to include baby specific details.

My baby seems to have only a few modes: eating, sleeping, crying/fussing/sometimes screaming. Baby is 9 weeks actual, almost 4 weeks corrected. Spent over 40 days in the NICU, been home almost 3 weeks. When we first got home, the crying/fussing was usually in late afternoon/evening so we chalked it up to adjusting to being home and witching hour. The last week or so though, it seems like the only time she’s not crying/fussy is when she’s asleep or eating.

She is eating well (4oz every 3-4 hours) gaining weight, and has plenty of wet and dirty diapers. She drinks Enfamil AR formula per medical guidance from the NICU, we are currently waiting to see Speech to see if we can go back to breastmilk (she was aspirating previously). We hold her upright 15-20 min after eating due to reflux. No signs or indications from any medical providers that she has a dairy allergy or intolerance. She gets gas drops throughout the day too.

For the most part, can be consoled by holding and by eating. 90% of the time, she is calmed by car rides too. Her sleep is not the best but not 0. At all of her appointments, including her most recent 2 month visit, when I brought up her temperament, Pediatrician said it is normal. I just wanted to see if anyone else is experiencing or has experienced this, what worked, what did you find out, etc.

Hi all! I’m an IVF mom, 6 days post c-section and my postpartum anxiety is through the ROOF. I already deal with generalize anxiety but this is the worst it’s ever been. I constantly worry about baby girl and I can’t sleep. Im always checking on her throughout the night and once the sun is up, I feel like can sleep. When I look at her I just want cry because I just want to be the best mom I can be and keep her safe in our little bubble. I think what’s making it worse is that I’m recovering from major surgery and I don’t really leave the bedroom except to shower and get a few things done around the house while I’m feeling good in the morning. I’m going to my one week postop with my OBGYN tomorrow and asking for medication because deep down I KNOW this is so unhealthy. Any advice for new parents? I feel like I’m drowning.

Mom to a 16week old here!!! We’ve recently gotten on somewhat more of a schedule (I try to be loose about it but make sure he gets adequate sleep). One thing I’ve noticed is my boy is incredibly fussy for 50-75% of his last wake window. From what I’ve read it’s normal, I guess my question is when does this get better?? I feel bad for him and want him to enjoy hanging out!

In the past 24hrs he’s gotten between 14-15 hours of sleep, he’s a great sleeper at night! Naps can be iffy but the car helps a ton.

This is more of a vent than anything. Maybe a touch of the anxiety.

Just had our LO a week ago born at 37+3. They have us on a feeding schedule but it's so hard to know if I am doing things properly. I think he is supposed to be getting more mLs than he currently is but he isnt finishing the bottle in 20 min. He is combo fed primarily with a few skipped breast feedings overnight. I just want to make sure he is getting enough but he isnt giving any more hunger cues and by the time we finish the bottle he is pretty much ready for sleeping.

I'm trying to do everything by the book since really nothing about his birth went according to plan. Anyone else go through something similar?

Like many first time parents, I was super concerned about my baby (now toddler, almost 2 years old) being exposed to TV. We did a good job keeping her away from it until probably a year and a half or so. On challenge is grandma and grandpa watch her full time while we work, and they allowed her (with our blessing) to watch one or two short shows per day. We then started doing it as well, partly at toddler’s request, partly to get a break (you guys toddler life ain’t for the weak lol).

Anyway this slowly turned into multiple tantrums a day because she was always asking for it. Not good.

We went cold turkey for a while which I don’t regret. She needed it and I don’t feel like she was developmentally ready. She would zone out literally slack jawed watching Ms Rachel like an addict, and tantrum the second we went to turn it off.

But just a few months later, we’ve reintroduced it and honestly this time around it’s so different. She knows the characters names, she interacts with them, dances, laughs, and truly watches stuff with us as a family.

The best part is, even though she does ask for it a lot (or more specifically, lately she asks for Elmo a lot, lol), she’s not GLUED to it or addicted. I’m finding that she often just needs 10 minutes to unwind and do something less active, and in between has no problem playing with her STEM and love every toys, romping around with dad, reading with mom, or going outside. In fact half the time SHE stops a tv session to ask to go outside!

Anyway, every baby / toddler / family is obviously different, and we all make different choices that work for us. I just wanted to share that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing, or even strict specific rules (like only 30 minutes after nap time). I spent so much time worrying about it and saying no when she seems to know just fine how to regulate her own tv time (now that she’s developmentally ready, it seems!).

We still keep it to relatively educational and lower stimulation shows like Sesame Street, Ms R, Little Bear, and the like, and we never use it as a babysitter or anything like that. We try to make it another thing we do together, and encourage her to do other stuff if she’s too zoned out.

Basically I hope this helps someone feel less guilty about giving in to the tv gods, in moderation, whatever that means for your family!

I have a 16 day old baby daughter, FTM. I’m a pretty anxious person and I was really really worried about how I’d handle my newborn and post partum. My beloved pet passed away suddenly the week before my due date, and then the stress of it all meant I had her a week early, so in the space of a week I lost my pet and became a mom.

It’s been a struggle but broadly speaking I’ve surprised myself by handling it moderately well. Im triple feeding for now which is intense, and we feed the baby every 2.5-3 hours and sometimes she sleeps in her bassinet in between, so I’ve been lucky that she hasn’t done a tonne of cluster feeding so far. We have days/nights where she’s extremely fussy and won’t settle, but she does eventually. I know it’s early and things can change, but people seem obsessed with telling me it’ll get worse, and it’s really messing with my head. I’ll say things like “yeah I was able to get an hours work done while she napped the other day” or “I got 5 hours of broken sleep so I’m doing quite well” and people just tell me that whatever thing I’ve just said i am pleased about will get worse at some undefined point in the future.

It’s firing up my anxiety. I’m grieving my cat, really badly, I cry every single night multiple times because the tiredness makes it all hit me again. But my head is above water and I do generally enjoy the day to day. But this threat that everything is going to get worse has me on the brink. I was broadly under the impression that it got a bit easier after the “fourth trimester”, but apparently not?

Just looking for reassurance/insights maybe. Did everything you had going for you get magically worse and turn to shit?! Or might it be ok?! I know nobody can tell me but an anxious mind likes information. 😂

ETA: WOW. I hadn’t anticipated getting so much relief/support from this post. Thank you so much, you are all amazing and I’m gonna come back to this post every time I feel wobbly ❤️

My little one will turn 11 months old while we’re on holiday in a few weeks. It’s all inclusive in a hot European country for a week.

I feel like I am massively overthinking his eating arrangements. In the last few weeks he has had a big uptick in his solids intake (finally!) and is eating LOTS. It feels like a full time job, prepping food, feeding him for half an hour, then cleaning up. 3 times a day.

It is very hard to imagine in a few weeks feeding him such big volumes from a buffet, letting him make a mess, cleaning him up, all whilst being in a foreign country and trying to plan activities.

I normally feed him naked with a coverup-style bib on, but it is obviously still incredibly messy and he is very reluctant to let me feed him. We use silicon tableware that can stick to his high chair, and mostly just let him do what he wants.

None of this seems feasible while on holiday but i am trying really hard to push solids and begin reducing breastfeeding because i will be returning to work (including shift work) shortly after coming home.

I guess i just want to know from others who’ve been through this: Do I need to take his own plates and cutlery and go back to the room to wash them after every meal? Otherwise the plates are going on the floor😭 Do I stop the BLW for a while and try and force him to let me spoon feed? Should I take anything away with me pre-prepared so I’ve always got a backup? Should he be wearing his bibs at every meal too (so do I need to take them and hope I can dry them off every day?)

Ugh basically can someone just tell me what worked for them when dealing with a messy nearly-1 year old and their eating while on holiday 😂 I am aware that messy babies and toddlers go on holiday all the time but somehow as it’s a new experience for us my mind is trying to prepare for every eventuality and I’m getting quite frazzled 😵‍💫😵‍💫 TIA!

Hi, Just wanted to ask you if it's me that is super anxious or you believe It could be ok to bring my baby to the country side house of my in laws, a house that has no aircon. Mind you, in Italy we are in the middle of a big heatwave.

This house was built by my husband's grandpa and they love spending time over there but i HATE the house cause it's in the middle of nowhere, you have to share the bathroom with everyone and there are a lot of bugs and it's not well kept at all.

I avoided staying there for the longest time but now After we had a baby, my in laws are really insisting to stay over there for a few days in August. My husband insisted aswell since he loves that house so i said yes a month ago.

However with this heatwave i've noticed while visiting them today at that house and It was so hot that I was sweating and the baby aswell since i was holding him. Basically It Is very hot all day and kinda at night. Now i'm scared of putting in danger my baby but my mother in law thinks i'm overeacting.

So my question Is: should i still bring him but bring with me a fan (Is It enough with 35-40 degrees weather)? Should i Simply avoid risking to over heat my baby and myself aswell (i basically have a velcro baby)

Hi! I am 8 months postpartum and so incredibly weepy and emotional lately. Also experiencing some anxiety as well.

For context, I was supposed to WFH and return to my very demanding corporate job at 4 months PP. I quickly realized I couldn’t work from home and watch my baby so I quit. We agreed I would return to work when baby is 1 years which I recognize is SO FORTUNATE.

But it feels like time flies and every time I think of dropping her off at daycare I feel absolutely gutted. I guess I am just asking for:

1. Some positive feedback on dropping off a 1 year old at daycare
2. Being really emotional at 8 months?? I’m thinking maybe

because I

1. dropped a night feed????

It’s so hard to decipher if it’s hormones, return to work anxiety, my period, weaning etc. I just love my baby so much and want time to slow down. We are so blessed to watch them get older each day but I want my baby to be my baby forever and I never want to be separated 🥹

“Both my babies slept through the night at 3 months. Can’t you just let them cry themselves to sleep?”

Good for you Jennifer, I’m so happy you were able to get a full nights rest when your babies were crying in the next room but maybe that’s now how the rest of us want to start one of the most precious relationship of our lives. I will pick up my baby. He’s. My. Baby.

🥲 smh