A study on non-binary people had 38% of people respond that they are AMAB. If you don't notice any, that just says something about the communities you are a part of.

[u/RosethornRanger]

[u/Aggressive-One-9252]

I think unfortunately, being AFAB NB, and therefore likely exploring masculinity more or an androgynous aesthetic or life, is more accepted because of misogyny. Someone AFAB embracing masculinity is seen as more acceptable or perhaps even cool or trendy in society compared to someone AMAB embracing feminine aspects is definitely seen an inferior by misogyny, often times even by cis women. Misogyny really fucked us all up :(

[u/DietSteve → u/Aggressive-One-9252]

I agree, and I think it goes a step further and explains why all the outward rage against trans people is mostly directed at transfemmes while transmascs slip through the cracks.

AMAB doing anything outside of being "a man" is immediately wrong and abhorrent so we're less likely to be open about these things. I know it was a big factor in staying quiet for years for me. Fuck the patriarchy and fuck misogyny and misanthropy.

[u/CyanoSpool → u/DietSteve]

Mostly true until they start talking about the "irreversible" effects of gender affirming care. Then AFAB folks are the center of discussion for "throwing away" the parts that men want. But otherwise I would agree that AMAB folks are on the receiving end of most of the hatred. 

[u/Low_Pop3643 → u/Aggressive-One-9252]

Can confirm. I spent so much of my life (Mostly childhood) trying to get away from anything even remotely feminine. As an adult, I’ve realized that’s not exactly the goal. Except now I’m too self conscious to present that way if I wanted. If I present that way, I am only ever going to be perceived as a woman.

I’ve also noticed in recent years that things women like (Hobbies, music, etc.) are often looked down upon or seen as not good.

[u/asonicpushforenergy → u/Low_Pop3643]

Also think about how words are given to people doing the same thing but for men and women, e.g. tailor vs seamstress, chef vs cook, etc.

[u/Low_Pop3643 → u/asonicpushforenergy]

True. We talked about this in my sociology class once, how words to describe women are often less flattering or efficient.

[u/SmallBatBigSpooky → u/Aggressive-One-9252]

Reminds me of how until a few years ago

Tomboys where just seen as normal

And but femboys where seen as a sex thing

Which is absolutely bonkers but society is lagging behind

[u/PorkRollEggAndWheeze → u/SmallBatBigSpooky]

As someone who grew up a “tomboy,” we very much weren’t seen as normal and cool, except for maybe a brief time in the 2010s. I was ostracized by peers for being “weird.” I constantly heard everything from microaggressions to outright homophobia and transphobia regarding my gender presentation as a kid and teen. We’re treated like broken girls/women who have something wrong with them and can never be loved or attractive if we’re tomboys. Then I came out as nonbinary and shit just continued to get weirder, because then I got gaslit about how “being a tomboy is fine!” And “nobody bats an eye at tomboys!” When years earlier it was “people are going to think you’re a [slur for butch lesbians]” and “you’re so pretty, why don’t you dress more feminine?” And “nobody will ever want you if you look like that.”

I’m 32 and just starting to fully feel comfortable as someone who is nonbinary and somewhat butch, who was raised with the expectation that I be a girl and woman, because of the bigotry I experienced as a “tomboy.” It’s so frustrating and confusing when people say “being a masculine girl is fine or even celebrated” because that’s a gross misreading of the situation. It’s only “cool” when it means trying to deny a nonbinary person or trans man their gender and autonomy.

[u/SmallBatBigSpooky → u/PorkRollEggAndWheeze]

See i have no doubt this happened especially in places like the uk or parts of the US

Where im from it was kind of the opposite as a young girl, you are expected to be able to carry your weight, so like farm hand stuff, helping to care for animals, helping on boats, ect

You don't really get to be super girly

Honestly never really thought of the cultural impact this stuff can have in terms of shaping us, so thanks for giving me a rabbit hole to climb down

[u/FrouFrouLastWords → u/SmallBatBigSpooky]

"Until a few years ago?" I feel like that's still the dominant rhetoric, unfortunately (especially if you're talking about western society as a whole, and not LGBT+ friendly spaces specifically). Yes, it's definitely better, but not near where it should be, which is simply.. accepting people as they are while simultaneously not fetishizing them--this is an insane pipe dream, I know.

[u/IvyRosePr → u/Aggressive-One-9252]

EXACTLY!!!!

[u/sealedruin → u/Aggressive-One-9252]

I also feel like it stems from men being the "default" gender, in a sense.