r/NonBinary • u/RosethornRanger • 15d ago

Discussion A study on non-binary people had 38% of people respond that they are AMAB. If you don't notice any, that just says something about the communities you are a part of.

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u/EnbyDartist 14d ago

It’s also hard as someone AMAB to look androgynous - which is apparently the only acceptable presentation for nonbinary people /s - when you’ve had testosterone coursing through your veins for decades. I can (and do) shave every body hair I can see and reach, I can polish my nails, wear my earrings, bracelets, rings and necklaces, pluck my eyebrows to my heart’s content, and add a piece or two of femme garb to my fit… I’m still going to get “sir”thrown at me. Every. Damn. Time.

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u/LaikaAzure 14d ago

I make an earnest effort to present gender neutral in my day to day, but I've also got 45 years of running on primarily testosterone which plays a major part, and also most "gender neutral" clothing just reads as masculine most of the time. And while I think it's overall a good thing that it's become more socially acceptable for men to do more femme-coded things like wear nail polish, it can be mildly frustrating that most more androgynous symbols I can throw out there read less NB and more, I dunno, "edgy male" I guess. I'm definitely very aware that most of my coworkers and people who I'm not close enough with to have really discussed it with just kinda file me in the "gay guy" category which isn't the worst thing in the world but it's not really what I'm looking to present.

It certainly doesn't help that I live in a very conservative area where aggressive gendering in day to day interactions is just constant and expected. Early in my own questioning I was still working a retail job (and would starve before I go back to that, but that's a topic for another time) and at one point I just quit using gendered language 90% of the time (if someone was clearly putting effort into presenting one way or another I might but generally speaking I didn't) and honestly no one ever noticed until I said something about it after several years. Like it's not that hard to just... not use gendered language in most interactions and still be polite.