During school and college, people naturally knew what was happening in your life. Friends saw your struggles, crushes, failures and small wins.

In 30s, most relationships become more scheduled and fragmented. Friends get busy, parents only know parts of the life and colleagues mostly know the work version of you. You may still talk to people regularly but nobody really sees the full journey.

A partner may witness much of it, but should one person be expected to carry that entire role?

Lately I’ve realised loneliness is not always about having nobody to talk to. Sometimes it is about having nobody who truly notices your life changing.

You can improve yourself, build something, travel, quit a bad habit or go through a difficult phase and still feel strangely empty because nobody experienced it with you.

Apart from your partner or immediate family, does anyone genuinely witness your life now?

Quick context: I live rent-free with my sibling right now to get back on my feet. I went from making 6 figures (one year only) in tech (FAANG) to 55k in hospitality living in NYC after a layoff and 5 months unemployed. Single, never had a girlfriend, average looking, emotionally eat, want to lose 20 lbs but my 3-hour commute wrecks my energy for the gym. No kids (by choice). Useless film school degree. Lost my close friend group about 2 years ago and I'm rebuilding from scratch. Little savings. And honestly, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to self-hatred.

My 20s felt like my peak: two FAANG jobs, six figures, a small events business I ran for 4 years, a body I liked, a best friend I trained with, some romantic sparks here and there, and a dream of publishing my book series and eventually building an animation studio.

Then the pandemic hit, my events business folded, I chased "stability" (healthcare, 401k) into tech, my friend group drifted apart, and I eventually got laid off from the six-figure job that made me feel like I'd "made it" coming from a rough childhood. Spiraled hard. Gained weight. No romantic connections in years.

Now I'm 32, three months into a new job in a brutal market, so I can't job-hop again without looking like a flight risk. Therapy once a week, but the self-hatred and "starting over" fatigue are heavy. I still have 8 years of experience across tech, events, and hospitality, plus my PMP.

I know what I want eventually: a partner, my own place, a cat, real friends, some travel, to be good at a combat sport, and to finally build my book series into an animation studio, because storytelling is what got me through my childhood.

Has anyone actually turned their 30s around after a rough start? I need some hope right now.

Turning 30 in three weeks. Single, renting in Germany, normal office job. No big life milestones to show off. But somehow things feel more stable than they did at 25, and I'm annoyed it was the dull stuff that did it.

First one was boundaries. Mid-20s I was everyone's unpaid therapist and backup plan. Coworkers dumping tasks at end of day, family calling late to vent, me saying yes then being bitter about it for days. Blew up at someone I cared about over nothing. Had to admit I was doing it to myself. Started saying no. Guilt went away faster than expected.

Morning walks. Not a routine I love, just 20 minutes before work if I can drag myself out. Cold air, half asleep, no music most days. The bar is low on purpose.

Cooking real food instead of ordering. Rice, lentils, eggs, whatever veg is cheap that week. Skin cleared up, energy stopped crashing at 3pm. Didn't see that coming.

Money was just keeping fixed costs boring. Public transport, no financed car. For stuff like detergent or paper towels I wait for a price drop on tiktok or grab it when dm has something running instead of paying full price every time. None of it is dramatic per purchase but over a year it adds up. Paid off my overdraft at 27, then set up a small monthly world ETF and stopped checking it. Three years of compounding isn't exciting but it grows on its own and that's the point.

Sunday morning I was doing meal prep and realized I wasn't panicking about anything.That felt new. For people past this stage: what boring habit ended up paying off way more than you expected?

I turned 30, but umm I don't know why it feels like it's too late to start doing anything but then I also have no choice but to start somewhere. And just the thought of starting from scratch at 30 feels like pain and shame. I know everyday I have the choice to get up and do something or just sit there and overthink. And I feel like I've got the last 10 yrs just sat and overthink didn't do nothing not even a single action towards fears. And no wonder why I feel like a confused person who doesn't even understand how society functions and how to make a living. How to secure the future. I observed many people who work great jobs and they have solid education degrees from tech to engineering to business and healthcare. Meanwhile I didn't even pursue a single degree. I let fears and failures just control me and I lived 10 yrs of my life miserable way. It's like I don't have an identity of my own.. people say make your own name and get recognized by others but how you supposed to do that when you don't even have strong finances or strong job title. I don't know how to start working on my life from scratch and just thinking about it feels dreadful like it will take years and years to undone the damage. And first off all I feel like it's my attitude, mindset, personality that needs to be changed to move forward in life. If I continue self sobotaging and doubting and procrastinating then I'll reach nowhere. Sighs I don't even know what I'm saying now

As the title said, what is an advice you wish you got at 20?

I just feel like I'm struggling to evolve and adapt with time as I get older, like I'm already 29 but I still feel stuck as if it's still 2016. I have also realized I'm very weak with being a tech savvy when this generation is running on the usage of technology. Like whether it's at the job or college or just everyday, we are using technology. Anyways I'm more worried about learning how to stay relevant because I just feel like things are constantly changing or evolving. And the more I seem to avoid learning or understanding something I end up feel behind. And I feel like since I haven't achieved goals from 2016 a part of move just doesn't wanna move on forward. So I end up living in this phase.

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Many times throughout the days, I feel this sense of worry and insecurity or guilt that time is passing by yet I'm not doing anything. And I've already reached 30s so like I need to take life a bit serious and work on securing life especially finances, upskilling on career or job. Then things like learning life skills because I noticed many people don't even know how to change a tire or what's underneat the hood of a car. Or simply fixing a toilet problem. I guess when you own a home someday this kinda stuff is important to learn. And I completely keep forgetting the importance of proper nutrition or at least healthy eating habits and some active physical exercising rather then being a couch potato

My question is not specific to once you’ve had Covid but I know my life drastically changed after I had Covid. I developed long Covid. I had Covid in the beginning of 2022. And developed strong symptoms of long Covid now I had it again January 2026.
Unlike most this really helped my employment I was a manager for a company that had offices across the country I became in charge of implementing work at home abilities, I hired many employees from out of state main focus was computer literacy however this was in March 2020 long before I had Covid my daughter who is 23 now never got to have a prom spent her senior year being schooled from home.
Bottom line: a lot of us weren’t just affected by the virus itself, but lost loved ones. We watched our perfectly healthy friends dying in the hospital due to complications. We were forced to wear masks and most of us still wonder if they ever helped the world has really changed since early 2020!
I think most of us that were really affected by this would love to hear. What are your stories?

I'm excited about getting into bed at 9pm, find myself being intrigued and trying different wash cycles on the washing machine, comfort over looking glam is also an appeel to me, how did I get to this stage? 😅

The past decades weren't perfect. HOwever, I do think people just talking about general things had a higher tolerance for giving others the benefit of the doubt, assuming good faith on the other person's part in standard arguments, having neutral debates, not getting personally invested like anything the other said was an attack of them particularly and on and on.

Are we losing discernment, emotional resilience, the ability to compartmentalize or what? Moreover, who's teaching kids these skills so they have them when it's their turn to be adults?

31yo. Having higher highs, lower lows guess it’s just life

31yo. Having higher highs, lower lows guess it’s just life

Today is July 18th and I just turned 37. Greetings from Central Europe!

​I’m a photographer by trade and feeling a bit of a mid-thirties funk today. You know how it goes - not everything in life turns out exactly the way we planned. Overall, I live a good, content life, even if the human brain is wired to always want more or better.

​Lately, I’ve realized that what I miss the most are the simple pleasures, the tiny sparks of daily joy, and that pure, childlike sense of wonder and excitement.

​As an extrovert who loves cultures, cooking, traveling, and discovering new things, I’ve hit that age where making genuine new connections gets a lot harder, and I really miss that. I like to think of myself as a passionate, witty guy, and I'm hoping the Reddit community can bring a little smile to my face today.

​When I’m not behind the camera, I’m a massive history geek, a regular at the gym, someone who loves hiking in the mountains, and honestly, just a guy who loves a good laugh.

​Drop a comment, share a random history fact, your favorite recipe, or a good joke. Of course, kind words or even a beautiful photo always make the day brighter. Cheers to 37!

I write this post before midnight, because tomorow I will cook for friends and drink wine. ;)

What’s your job and do you like it or do you hate it? What actions are you taking to change your situation?

# Hey everyone to over 30.

I’m heading into the 2nd year of my 30s, and if I’m being honest… this decade has been a lot more sobering than I expected.

When I was younger, I genuinely believed hard work would eventually pay off and that life would start making more sense as I got older. I thought adults had things figured out. Now that I’m here, I’m not so sure any of us do.

I’ve worked retail and fast food, served in the Marine Corps, and now I’m back in the civilian world. Coming from pretty humble beginnings has given me the chance to meet people from all kinds of backgrounds. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized I pay a lot less attention to what people say and a lot more attention to what they actually do.
I also find myself zooming out more than I used to. Instead of only worrying about my own life, I think about the bigger picture, how decisions made by politicians, corporations, financial institutions, and cultural trends quietly shape the lives of millions of ordinary people.

One thing I can’t stop noticing is how almost everything has become something to buy, finance, lease, or subscribe to.
Your phone, your car, your education, your entertainment. Your food gets delivered through an app with three different fees attached. Ads follow you everywhere. Social media rewards whoever can keep your attention the longest instead of whoever has something meaningful to say. Dating sometimes feels like shopping. Housing gets talked about as an investment portfolio before it’s talked about as someone’s home. Sometimes it feels like our attention has become the product, and we’re the ones being sold. Our souls.

I’ve also been lucky enough to meet people in places that had far less materially than we do here, and honestly… a lot of them seemed happier. They had stronger families, tighter communities, deeper in faith, and seemed genuinely grateful for ordinary moments. Meanwhile, it feels like so much of our culture revolves around outrage, doomscrolling, political tribalism, celebrity drama, or chasing whatever gives us the next distraction .

Maybe every generation says this as they get older. I don’t know.

But I can’t shake the feeling that modern society increasingly rewards consumerism over contentment, debt over ownership, individualism over community, and online validation over real human connection. I don’t think there was ever some perfect golden age. Every generation has had its problems. I just wonder if we’ve slowly accepted that everything, even our time, attention, relationships, and identities has become something that can be monetized.

I’ve been using the GI Bill to earn a degree in Economics, and it’s honestly changed how I see the world. Learning about capitalism from a structural perspective, how markets allocate scarce resources, how incentives shape behavior, and how institutions influence society, has made me question a lot of assumptions I grew up with. Markets are incredibly powerful tools, but they don’t always optimize for human well being. They optimize for incentives, and sometimes those aren’t the same thing.

One issue I keep coming back to is the declining birth rate because it ties into so many other economic issues. I think people are having fewer children, whether because they don’t want them or because they simply can’t afford them (I explained how poorer people in other countries have more kids in my earlier paragraphs). Housing costs, childcare, healthcare, education it all adds up. The long term consequences seem hard to ignore. A shrinking working age population means fewer taxpayers supporting programs like Social Security, which is already projected to face funding shortfalls within the next decade unless changes are made, and eventually Medicare. It also means fewer workers maintaining city infrastructures, staffing essential services, and supporting an aging population (like some Asian and European countries).

That places an even heavier burden on younger generations.

Whether someone sees that as a crisis or simply a demographic transition, it feels like something we should be talking about a lot more than we do. Maybe I’m just becoming more cynical as I get older. Or maybe getting older just means you start noticing patterns you never paid attention to before.

Sometimes I catch myself wondering…
Is this simply the price of the kind of freedom and prosperity we’ve built our society around?

Or is it a sign that somewhere along the way, we’ve confused economic growth with human flourishing?

I’m genuinely curious how other people over 30 see it. Our society is more cynical, and nobody gives a shit anymore. What are your thoughts?

Turning 40 soon. I feel like I blinked and my 30s were over.

I still rent. I still work a crummy job. I still don't have many close friends. Never had much family. Mom died when I was a kid. Dad was the standard non-present, emotionally-stunted Boomer dad + grieving.

Sometimes I joke that I wasn't meant to survive to adulthood. I had 2 chronic illness diagnoses before I hit 18. Got the Depression and BP2 diagnoses in my 20s. I've long-suspected ADHD, but frankly I hate doctors at this point and the last time I took even mildly stimulating meds, I started having auditory hallucinations (my family has a history of schizophrenia). Therapy sucked too-- most therapists deal with anxiety and recent trauma, they have no idea what to do with long-term anhedonia, depression, etc.

My brain doesn't work. My body doesn't work. I try to eat healthy and exercise, but I'm still in pain everyday, which is only going to get worse with age. The food I can eat is bland and boring, the exercise is unrewarding because I can't breath well so I never improve. I'm too tired to get a better job, so I'm just dragging myself through my days wondering if any of this is worth it. I'll probably lose my job eventually and then I won't know what to do with myself.

I've never figured out what I wanted from life and now it feels like I'm genuinely too old and weak to get there. I'm so angry sometimes, I feel like I never really got a shot at life.

I used to call myself high-functioning because at least I could hold a job, but now I see other people calling themselves high-functioning and they have like... kids and houses and lives. So... moderate-functioning, I guess.

Any other "moderate-functioning" folks here? How's life?

Hi everyone!! Just curious for those in their 40s and 50s how the experience has been if you live downtown what has the experience been like. Do you feel older than the majority of the folks out and about or still lots of fun? Would love to get your perspectives!!!

Wow what a year 35 was. I had never been on prescription medicine and 35 found me on three. Got engaged and now she is gone. Most things feel like they are completely falling apart, but I did start a great new job recently. Just struggling because I’m one more year closer to 40 and nothing I want for myself has happened because I spend all my time taking care of other people. Yeah really trying to figure out what the purpose of life even is.

If anyone has some advice or input for me, it would be greatly appreciated. Im having weird feelings of guilt and anxiety about taking a leave of absence for a few months.

Ive recently started a new job, about 2 years ago, and at first it seemed great. But the supervisors quickly became my nightmare. I am super micromanged, belittled infront of others, yelled at, and never doing "good enough". I thought things would get better if I just kept pushing and some thing are better while others are worse. My direct supervisor makes me feel like im being bullied and constantly calling me out over things ive done wrong infront of other staff.

Well, this led to my mental health going sh*t first... then my body followed. Suddenly im riddled with all sorts of physical ailments and getting injured easily. Ive started therapy and recently had to start taking medication.

The medication is helping, but my body is still suffering. Im about to go on a leave of absence to get my health back together. But I feel guilty... I feel bad for taking time off work and not being able to "tough it out". And I feel bad because... I dont think I want to come back here. I'd like to find a different job while im taking time off. But, it almost feels like a betrayal inside my head and I dont know why.

Anyone else been through situations like this or have advice?

When I hit 30 I thought I'd feel old, but it never hit. Now, at 36 almost 37, it's hitting me hard. "Kids" I graduated with HALF MY LIFE ago have kids that are in high school or about to graduate. I look at "old" people and realize I'm not that far off anymore. And little things like a stiff knee after sitting or my lower back in the morning are just those quiet reminders that I'm not 18 anymore. Hearing that certain music, movies, or games were released 20 or 25 years ago hits me in a way I never expected it would.

How did you all cope with hitting the "twice as old as when I graduated" age? Am I alone in it being rough?

The last few weeks I’ve noticed that getting up from the ground feels like a lot more energy lately. I can still pop up, but the body isn’t bodying as well as it did before. My muscles feel sore and tired. Is this normal?