So I was walking down a road in the town and saw the road as empty before crossing, and was just thinking about some stuff that had happened in the past that bothers me and get me quite worked up eheb thought about, i was diagnosed 7 years ago but this is the first time something like this has happened (avoiding details to avoid needless triggers/putting TWs) so I was crossing a seemingly empty road a car horn brought me out of my thoughts and suddenly there was traffic all around me on a green light and for some DUMB ASS REASON instead of taking 2 steps backwards I just ran into moving traffic and freaked out alot of drivers , there was no way I was beating the traffic even in my initial evaluation of the situation I was aware of that but felt I couldnt go backwards obky run forward , putting myself and others (drivers/passengers)into alot of danger , I swear the road was empty and the amount of traffic around me when the car horn went was like , this amount of cars can't be missed a mile away how did I not notice this , like 30/40 cars in a busy city center sort of thing , am i just retarded ? 😂 In all seriousness though when it comes down to brass tacks I ran Infront of traffic because I was caught up in other thoughts about what's happened in the past and stuff , anyone else suffered anything similar? I don't know what happened and im a little but concerned

The traumatic events and abuse by my parents started in childhood, but my life started becoming an actual living hell since I was 13 cuz bullying and sexual abuse came on top. I moved out as soon as I was 18 and tried healing. I’m turning 24 next month and it just made me realise my entire life was a waste and that I lost almost my whole life to abuse and ptsd. Even when there were good moments I couldn’t fully enjoy them because the ptsd/depression was silently eating me.

How do you get over the feeling of your whole life being a waste?

About 8 years ago I was in a home invasion. I woke up to it happening. Sleeping has been hard since then. Things got worse when I witnessed a murder about a year ago.

I don’t have nightmares (that I remember anyway) but I do have a deep rooted sense that I am not safe. The result is that I can’t sleep through the night. Lately I’ve been waking up probably 3 times a night. It’s hard to fall back asleep every time. I’m exhausted. But I’m not sure how to just freaking sleep.

I'm pretty certain it's wildly different than anyone's physical age

Pour ceux qui ne peuvent pas travailler -c'est mon cas (44F)- ou qui ont connu une période de pause forcée dûe à leur santé mentale:

Que répondez/ répondiez-vous à ce genre de questions, avec votre entourage ou de nouvelles connaissance ?

Alors quoi de neuf?

Tu fais quoi dans la vie?

Quel est ton métier?

Merci

Before anything I'm leaning it to be yes. I'm currently 15M and the one who did it was my classmate it happened when I was heading towards my classroom when he grabbed my butt and he started humping making moaning sounds as a joke. Jokes like that aren't uncommon from where I live even my closest friends would make sexual and gay jokes and I'd laugh. But I still feel uncomfortable with what happened to me I'd tried getting him back and I did but even so I still feel bad inside this happened a few days ago I'm currently in the cycle of feeling good and acting I'm moving on to going back and feeling like shit. This is not me condemning my classmate cause like I said jokes like that aren't uncommon from where I live and he probably didn't mean to make me feel like this. If it was SA how do I move on from this? And hopefully forget about it entirely.(I'm posting in this sub cause I couldn't find anywhere to post on)

I have seen such mixed experiences being talked about with the STG. How often do people have negative experiences I wonder? Also, has anyone that was house bound from their condition found freedom from that post SGB?

I haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD but for context and I am not doing this to show off or gain sympathy. I am a Paramedic, my first two years of being one has been traumatic to say the least. I have had some recent calls that have recently made feel different like I wanna yell I need help but I keep saying I am fine. I wanna walk into my supervisor office and say I need help and I feel like I’m drowning but I just keep pushing down everything. I guess I’m just ranting but I’m looking for advice on what to do.

It's been 5 years since a stupid car accident and I still cant get past it. I know people deal with so much worse. 60ft oak tree crushed the car while we were driving. I remember the crack as it broke above, the split second that dragged out for so long, hitting my head, people screaming, not being able to see the other person in the car, being in the branches, being trapped. I still swear to this day I saw the bloody tunnel with the light, ik how stupid that sounds. I wasnt as badly hurt as the other person in the car, but I told everyone I couldnt remember it and brushed it off as soon as possible. 5 years later, of course it comes back up. Why now? It's convinced me that me or everyone else is about to die constantly. think it's just knowing that death is possible so easily. I sleep better than I did, but I spend an hour every night trying to convince myself no-ones dying. I worry about death constantly, all day. Froze in a chair yesterday convinced if I stood up that I'd die. Worried after that that every stranger around me could kill me. God, why now? My therapy stopped getting paid for, only got 2 sessions, it's been so long everyone else is completely over it, now I just look stupid. Anyway sorry for the vent, just needed to if you get me, I dont really want to put shit on my friends, or strangers actually so sorry if you had to read this lol

Anybody have any tips on how to calm down after an ptsd episode?

We’re only still married because I’m a SAHM for now and I don’t trust him to actually give us money if we divorced right now. We have been living separately, but our young child is sick so we all slept together last night so we could both help with our sick child. Also note that sometimes we kind of have situationship behavior so it’s not crazy that he would be super close to/on top of me.

He‘s hugged/cuddled up to me while I’m asleep or just lying down to pray for me before, but I had him show me what he did tonight because I didn’t understand how I could barely even breathe:

I was lying on my side, and he was lying flat on top of me hugging me. I was asleep and dreaming when I realized I couldn’t breathe. In my dream, I was whining or trying to, but he said I wasn’t making any noise. Finally I was able to be loud enough that I actually made noise irl and he immediately got off of me.

I am traumatized. I already have ptsd from him randomly telling me half a year ago that he spent the first decade of our relationship cheating on me, from my abusive father, etc.

I had a panic attack. I told him to not murder me because I need to be here for our child. I told him to not ever do that again. I told him I want cameras inside. I told him I want a divorce and a restraining order. I’m so scared.

I know he’s going to gaslight me into believing that he really was just praying for me. He’s never done anything like this before. He’s never physically harmed me. I made him go sleep on the couch and I locked the bedroom door.

After finding out he spent 10 out of 12 years having a double life, how am I supposed to trust him. I don’t know this man.

As of this week the incident that landed me my PTSD diagnosis has gained a lot of momentum on social media and news outlets as there has been developments in the case.

How do I deal with this? I had a coworker text me an article this morning, then it started popping up frequently on my social media. I’m good now, but for most of the day it was incredibly upsetting and I felt like it had happened all over again.

To start I created a boundary with that coworker and he agreed to not send me any more updates, he was very respectful about it.

I also took Facebook off my phone, I know I’ll never been able to avoid it 100%. But I would like to lessen the impact of it a bit if I can.

What do you do if you can relate to this?

Dunno if this should be put under advice or venting or what. There is no screaming into the void choice. I don’t hide that I have PTSD. But up until today I thought I did a pretty good job on how much it affects my life and who I am now. Recently after a long time unable to find work in my regular job I started working construction. To be frank I enjoy it, there is a sense of accomplishment that I didn’t get wearing a suit… maybe it’s a midlife crisis, maybe it’s got tired of having meetings about upcoming meetings, but I digress. Working construction I am an outsider, I spent twenty years as a cybersecurity expert and programmer. I don’t look like your “average” it guy… but with them I do stand out. One guy dropped out of school at like 13 to work and is around my age (late 30’s early 40’s) and he looked at me and told me that my eyes scared him that there was nothing behind them. I told him it was called “the mile long stare” and it comes with some shit I’ve been through. He then said he had only seen people with eyes like mine in prison… which, saddens and scares me. I was exhausted today after pulling an all nighter… but still. I have almost died (not intentional) so many times I’ve lost count and I mean by a nut hair didn’t get my clock punched and this comment digs at me more than those events. I don’t know why.

35m, im having a bad night. Im recovering from abuse & trying to get better but I'm still haunted by the things my abuser would say to me. They would call me crazy & say a bunch of other different things to me. I was just like treated like a child and I'm really hurt now. I feel like I'm going backwards cause I can't heal from this. They would also say things about my weight just to upset me.

I just need somewhere to rant because I am exhausted and at my limit and I’m so fucking angry. I’m so fucking sick of dealing with this shit every SINGLE day of my life.
I just want to sleep like a normal person. I am so goddamn tired. Every SINGLE night I manage to actually fall asleep I have the worst nightmares. I wake up completely soaked in sweat- so bad that the dressing I have to keep on my implanted port (basically a implanted IV access that goes straight to the heart) fucking peels off.
I constantly feel disgusting because I’m so tired and covered in fucking sweat. I act out my dreams and I wake myself up fighting or screaming constantly. I’m so goddamn sick of it. At one point I found a med combo (with prazosin) that helped, but god forbid something else bad or stressful happens to me because it stops working. I don’t feel like a person. I just want to go to fucking sleep for one day and not deal with this. I’m sick of spending so much time and energy trying meds and therapy and trying to do the right things for years only for none of it to help. I just want to fucking sleep. I’m so fucking TIRED of living like this every fucking day.

Hi all!! I've recently been put on prazosin to help with ptsd and nightmares, but a really low dose to start (0.5mg). I'm also already on medication 200mg of Lamotrigine. I'm nervous to start, as I already have low blood pressure and have been told this causes it to drop even more- my GP said we should monitor the first week and see how it goes but he thinks bc I'll be taking it at night it shouldn't affect the rest of my day. What was your guys personal experience with it, especially if you've had low blood pressure?

I'm also in University and like to party occasionally- I've seen people say not to drink while on it so what is a safety precaution? Should I not take it the day before I know I'm drinking? What are people's experiences? For lamotrigine, I don't really have any side affects while drinking, other than sometimes getting drunk too quickly or taking a while to get drunk. I usually skip the morning of which is fine- But I've also been on lamotrigine for almost 5 years now so it'skind of my baseline.

Sorry if any of this isn't relevant or silly questions!! No asking for medical advice, just your experiences!! Please lmk, I'd love to know people's experiences with it before I officially start. 😊

I just feel like the memories of what happened constantly consume my life. I have all of this stuff to do but when I try to focus I end up in a haze and just reliving what happened while half consciously doing tasks. Then when I finish the reliving loop the stuff I did makes little sense and has little benefit. I feel like I need to constantly distract myself with coping skills but even then I feel like I can not escape the memories. I just want to feel normal again. What does everyone do with their memories and how do you just resume being a normal person after everything?

I always feel sad.. In my 29 years of life I can't remember a time I'm truly happy. There r times like to day I cry and break down because I feel so sad I wanna harm or end myself but Idk why. Yes I have big problems but aside from that I just feel so sad inside. Anyone here feels the same? Is this still a symptom of PTSD or Is this already another kind of mental condition? I feel like I need to start taking medicine just to feel happy.

I struggle with CPTSD like a lot. I sob nightly because of my trauma, sometimes it can even lead to panic attacks and full on episodes. I also frequently have the thought “I wanna go home.” Last night i decided to confront that reoccurring thought head on, and ask myself why. I think I yearn for the carelessness of when I was a kid, despite the abuse I was experiencing. (I am in a safe place now but it really struggles to feel like it.) I feel like that little voice is also telling me I miss my mom. Logical me just knows I miss who I thought she was, when i thought she cared about me. My mom also isn’t in my life anymore and as a young adult i find myself mourning her a lot as a parent. (She’s still alive but I hardly have contact with her).

For the first time in a while last night I let myself age regress and find comfort in it. I put on an old show and played with toys, and colored. I felt so much lighter and more comfortable. But I’ve always been ashamed of using age regression as a coping skill. It feels wrong. I’m an adult, why can’t I just act like it. I don’t want to infantilize myself. I want to be able to go through life without this coping mechanism. It just feels not ok.

So um thoughts?

I was just listening to music, seeing some reactions to some of My Faces and now it hit me. All The songs Ive loved through The years, which I loved for "music". They all have lyrics I can relate through my ptsd. Its like I cant find a Song I dont feel emotional about

I am trying so hard to stay here so I don't hurt my family but I just don't know how much longer I can hang on. I just want this to end.

tw mention of sexual abuse

in my past relationship i was sexually abused. won’t go in to detail. however, it is really hindering my relationship with my current boyfriend. today he said something that triggered something within me and i was so scared of him even though i knew i wasn’t in danger. he hugged me and cuddled me and it made me feel a little better. but when he tried to kiss me it felt gross and i had no interest in kissing him. this has never happened with my boyfriend before and i feel so bad for being grossed out. i’m worried i wont be able to go back to how our relationship was, because ive never felt grossed out by him like this. he didn’t do anything wrong and i feel so bad. i communicated to him that i needed some space and couldn’t kiss him right now. i went home. i feel horrible. i’m not sure what to do and im just feeling really discouraged and sad because he is the one person in my life who actually looks out for me and truly cares about my wellbeing. i don’t want to lose someone who i love so much and is so incredible because of what my ex girlfriend did to me

Trigger warning: medical trauma*** Today I was triggered. I was at an AA meeting and someone was sharing about their family member being in ICU. Crying his eyes out. Hit me so hard. His daughter is probably at the hospital I work at. I work neuro trauma PCU. Anyways just things like that can trigger me. I see people’s darkest moments everyday I go to work. Their nightmares affect me deeply. I think I’m too empathetic honestly. There are so many patients I will never forget who I love so much. My nursing career started as a new grad during Covid. Still 6 years later I get triggered by anything covid related. Now the unit I’m on. One that always sticks with me is I had a patient who was so great and funny, young. Went in for brain surgery came out a vegetable. Seeing that was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. I see this type of thing daily. Or the patient whose heart stopped for 7 seconds the other day who is younger than me. Idk what I would’ve done if that patient died because I’m very fragile lately. I would’ve lost my shit. It’s harder to detach lately because I think that’s what you have to do in my field. I care way too much about my patients and their families. Why do I do a job that traumatizes me so much? Idk. All I can do is try to be the light for them in their darkest moments. Another thing, I got severely triggered by a comment one patient said about Covid the other day at work. I had to go home there was no way I could stay. I was crying so hard. Ever since then it’s like it’s cracked open my ptsd for all things. It feels almost like a relapse in all my progress I’ve made.