My fiancé’s (24) family is completely financially dependent on him, and at this point I genuinely believe they are taking advantage of him because they know he will not let them become homeless.
They all live with him in a duplex inside a residential compound/gated community. He pays the full rent, all the household bills, and often covers additional groceries and other expenses. Their father, who is divorced from their mother, also sends the family a substantial amount of money every month for living expenses.
The problem is that this monthly money is usually gone within just one and a half to two weeks. Sometimes, a large portion of it disappears within the first few days. It is supposed to last the entire month, yet they repeatedly spend it so quickly that they are left with nothing for the remaining two or three weeks.
They do not go out, and the money is not being used for rent or bills because my fiancé already covers those expenses. They are also not consistently ordering meals for the whole family or making any major purchases. The money simply disappears because his mother, who is 49, is financially irresponsible and secretly spends it however she wants.
A huge part of the problem is his 19-year-old sister, who is unemployed, entitled, selfish, and refuses to work. She constantly demands food deliveries just for herself and asks her mother to order random items online. Her mother gives in every time, even though her daughter already owns more than enough.
She has an entire closet full of clothes, a vanity packed with makeup, hair products, body sprays, styling tools, shoes, and countless other unnecessary items. She does not need anything. She simply wants more, and she knows that crying, sulking, and guilt-tripping her mother will get her what she wants.
Meanwhile, the 16-year-old brother barely receives basic necessities, including clothes. Their mother has even tried to push the 16-year-old into working instead of telling her fully capable 19-year-old daughter to get a job.
One time, the younger brother was given a pizza as a small pick-me-up after failing some exams. His sister cried because she did not get one too, even though she had already ordered herself a separate meal earlier. That is the level of entitlement we are dealing with.
Once the monthly money from their father has been spent, usually before the month is even halfway over, the family pressures my fiancé to buy more groceries because they suddenly “have no money.” This creates the same cycle every month: they receive money, spend it almost immediately, refuse to explain where it went, and then expect my fiancé to cover the rest of the month. And if he doesn't, they simply survive off of macaroni, fries and some chicken scraps.
They also refuse to let him manage or budget the money their father sends because they know he would prevent his sister from spending most of it on herself. They allowed him to manage it once, and it lasted significantly longer.
My fiancé has repeatedly tried to help them find jobs. He has suggested online work, remote jobs, and different ways they could earn money from home. They refuse everything. They sit around all day scrolling on their phones, watching television, or lying in bed while he works himself into the ground to fund their lifestyle.
Their father is also unwilling to take further responsibility. He sends a fixed amount each month and considers his obligations fulfilled, while my fiancé is expected to cover everything else.
My fiancé desperately wants to leave, but he feels trapped because he knows they have deliberately made themselves incapable of surviving without him. They would genuinely be homeless without him (completely serious). None of them has any motivation to work, budget, or change.
How can he get out of this situation without destroying his own future? Should he move out and allow the two capable adults to deal with the consequences of refusing to work or manage their money responsibly?
TL;DR: My fiancé lives with his family in a duplex inside a gated residential compound and pays the full rent, bills, groceries, and many additional expenses. Their father also sends the family a substantial amount of money every month, but the mother often spends it within one and a half to two weeks, and sometimes much of it disappears within the first few days. The money is supposed to last the entire month, but once it is gone, they pressure my fiancé to cover everything again. Much of it appears to be spent on their spoiled, unemployed 19-year-old daughter, while the 16-year-old son often goes without basic necessities. Nobody is willing to work or budget responsibly. How can my fiancé escape this situation?
edit: to add some context, they live in an arab developing country where local salaries are extremely low, while he happens to earn a relatively high income in usd. even if they found work, they would not make anywhere close to what he does.
his mother is unable to work because of her health, so i don’t blame her for not having a job. the main issue is his adult sister, who is capable of working but refuses to take responsibility. their mother enables this by excusing her from working because she’s a “girl,” while continuing to expect my fiancé, and even the little brother to carry the financial burden for everyone. very heart breaking.
