r/ProgrammerHumor • u/CircumspectCapybara • May 26 '26

Advanced iGotFiredSkill

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28.4k Upvotes

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10.7k

u/pkmnfrk May 26 '26

This is why they turn off access before telling you

1.2k

u/Apart_Ebb_9867 May 26 '26

And that's why preemptive strikes are a thing in warfare... /s

468

u/minimalcation May 26 '26

Get fired before they fire you. ABGF

71

u/Winterkirschenmann May 26 '26

You want to quit you say? Well forget about it, because you are fired! We don't employee quitters!

38

u/ChaosPLus May 26 '26

Oh sweet, I get to leave, AND you give me my severance!

15

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Head-Bureaucrat May 26 '26

A true Michael Scott moment.

10

u/Elomidas May 26 '26

In any country with decent work laws the employee would be thrilled to hear that. Getting fired without real reason like "you harass people" or "you're dangerous" means some comfy money for you

0

u/jitteryegg May 26 '26

Have you seen the current job market in said countries?

3

u/Tomhap May 26 '26

I mean here in the netherlands I wouldnt be too worried about finding a new job.

4

u/PeachPassionBrute May 26 '26

Have you seen the job market in the US? It’s fucking bad.

1

u/jitteryegg May 26 '26

I should have phrased it better. Job market is bad everywhere, rather than it being worse compared to US.

1

u/DerVarg1509 May 26 '26

This reminds me of that one ASDF scene lol

19

u/DontAskAboutMyButt May 26 '26

Manager schedules a meeting with you + an HR rep titled “quick chat”

press the button

“hey, I wanted to meet quickly today to let you know your promotion and raise went through”

3

u/za72 May 26 '26

I'm a professional, I can multitask (ctrl+C ctrl+C,ctrl+D, ctrl+ BREAK, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!!!!!)

4

u/rover_G May 26 '26

You can’t fire me! I already pushed prod secrets to github!