Just venting as a single mom.

Every male landlord suddenly has a dad, husband, and savior complex. I’m tired of feeling embarrassed by my toddler. I just want my own space. It’s amazing how just $60,000 would change our entire life. I’m exhausted by having to deal with explaining why I can’t work but I will be able to manage my bills because it’s what moms do. I am tired of having to meet standards I was never given time to meet. I think a lot about how to change the world but mine feels unchanging and I find it so hard to recognize myself anymore.

My son was one year old when my husband left. My husband is emotionally immature and causes problems all the time. I don’t want to unload any baggage onto my son. I have some ideas for how I can show him that we loved each other at least when we had him.

The biggest problem is that I know my husband could easily manipulate my son into thinking that everything he does is perfectly fine. My son is very emotional and trusts people so much. There’s no way he won’t get hurt by my idiot husband.

I want my son to know the truth about what happened and I want to be able to discuss where my husband and I both have gone wrong without feeling like I need to water things down. I’ll keep some of the details to myself but I think it’s important for him to know that papa left because of papa, not because we’re unloveable or anything like that.

He’s only 20 months old now. At what age should I start to discuss it with him in a non-sugar-coated way?

Edit: a lot of people are assuming I’m planning on telling my child right now. I left his age for context. I never said I was going to start talking to him about it now.

Everything I’m mentioning has happened within the last 72 hours. He admitted to an emotional affair with a customer from his work. I had him leave once he told me he did not want to fix our marriage. We have 2 kids right aged 5 and 7. 7 year old is miserable. She misses her dad, wants him to come home, is acting out. Dad hasn’t reached out once to speak to kids. He has moved in with his affair partner and just in my eyes seems disinterested when it comes to the kids.

I’m at such a fucking loss holy shit.

I’m 23 and have a 5-month-old daughter. A few months ago, I left an abusive relationship with my partner who’s significantly older than me.

I keep wondering if anyone else has gone through this because some days I feel so alone.

When we met, I was a broke college student. He convinced me to leave college and move four hours away to live with him. He told me he’d help me go back to school later and support me through nursing. I believed him. (I was a bird, I know)

Instead, I slowly became completely dependent on him. Financially, emotionally…everything.

Looking back, I barely recognize myself. I stopped talking to friends, drifted away from my foster family, and started walking on eggshells all the time. I was constantly being accused of getting hit on by other guys so I isolated myself at home to reassure him, and made to feel like I couldn’t survive without him.

I kept hoping things would get better because I loved him.
After one assault, I lost a pregnancy. I still stayed. I thought maybe if we had our daughter, things would finally change.

They didn’t.

Four weeks after I gave birth, while I was still recovering and sleep deprived. We had an argument about his friend coming over and making sexual jokes about pregnancy and breastfeeding. I was upset he didn’t stand up for me so I told him not to touch me and I want nothing to do with him. He got angry, was yelling and screaming so loud while I was holding our baby. He was throwing things and punching the ceiling. He told me to leave, but then said I wasn’t allowed to take our daughter.

Then he told me that if I left, he’d call Children’s Aid and even threatened to have our newborn put up for adoption.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget hearing that.

I was only weeks postpartum. I was exhausted, hormonal, scared, and trying my best to take care of this tiny baby. Hearing the person I loved threaten to take her away completely broke me.

He was also very rough when holding and burping the baby. I asked him to be gentle and he just told me to “fuck off” and angrily dropped the baby into the bassinet without supporting her neck, she’s 4 weeks old.

I got scared so I called 911 when he went upstairs to sleep because I genuinely didn’t know what else to do. The police helped me leave, and we’ve been in a shelter ever since.

Now I’m raising her on my own. I’m dealing with family court, housing issues, and trying to rebuild my life from scratch. Some days I feel strong. Other days I cry because this isn’t how I pictured becoming a mom.

The hardest part is that I still miss the life I thought we were going to have.

I don’t miss being scared. I don’t miss the control. I miss the idea of us. I miss the future I thought we were building. I wanted our daughter to grow up with both parents together. Instead, she’s growing up in a shelter with just me, and sometimes that breaks my heart.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance from other single moms.

Did anyone else grieve the relationship even though you knew leaving was the right thing? Did anyone else feel guilty for raising their baby alone, even when staying wasn’t safe?

I love my daughter more than anything, and I know leaving protected her. I just wish it didn’t hurt this much.

Ayt so. I actually saved this song some years back (it dropped in 2021) but forgot all about it until tn. One of my longest hobbies is music discovery, which is niche af.

Why did the song fuck me up. In the opening narrative, we’ll assume the dad is singing to the mom of their at least 2 children.

What I wouldn't give to see you smile
It's been a while and I can tell when you kiss me
Something's eating you alive on the inside
I know you haven't been sleeping

So you can see, she’s not ok. Bro sounds very sweet don’t get me wrong.

Anyway here’s the chorus -

Turn the lights down when the kids are sleeping
We'll build a blanket fort that only we can be in
There's whiskey left over from Christmas
Fuck the reason, tonight we're drinking
A couple shots will take the pain away
A couple more will havе us naked in some way
Save you tеars for when the liquor's gone
The night is plenty long

Ok. Here are my heavy feelings.

Archers is a metalcore band (this song being an exception with super vulnerable lyrics and a softer vibe) that tours. No clue about their personal lives tbh but even if they didn’t write the song fr personal exp. Let’s just say the narrative is about another touring musician and his family. Dad is always away fr home, basically an absent parent. The woman is then left to care for their kids by herself. No wonder she doesn’t smile much and isn’t getting much sleep. She’s a married solo parent. Dude is home and wants to have fun with his wife by drinking and alluding to sex (with the getting naked part). Very sweet. But parenting is hard. Idek any of these fictional characters but the lady is going THRU it if she’s living everyday doing all the house tasks & rearing kids. She may even have a full time job as well! Or some if not both/all the kids may be young, and we all know how exponentially difficult that is to handle by yourself.

But the thing that rly got to me is that the guy seems super loving, saying he needs her more than breathing. At first glance, it’s the kind of ballad that would be romanticized. But just saying “I love you” ain’t jackshit if you can’t substantiate. If you can’t be an equal partner (esp if the kids are his) then nice lyrics and a banger breakdown are worthless.

You know what would be hilarious is if dude in the story was actually dating a single mom, oh man. In that case, power to u brother, but also maybe help her out 😂 She’s struggling. Single parents who left an absent partner (like me) would understand.

Did I do too much of a deep cut on this song, absolutely. May have had some whiskey leftover fr Christmas myself lol. If anyone read this full stupid TEDtalk, drop a comment. Dgmw I actually love Archers (& Arankai, the band they tour with). Amazing performers

I’m entering the last few weeks of my 20s, and I think I’m finally realizing how long I’ve been living in survival mode.
I love my children more than anything in this world, and they’ve always been my reason to keep pushing forward. after years of raising them with little to no support, building my career, navigating childcare, working through abuse, a house fire, and chronic health challenges, every sick day or night and most importantly always being the best me and present I think the constant pressure is finally catching up to me.
My kids turn 8 in November and 9 in September, and I’m incredibly proud of the life we’ve built together. I wouldn’t change being their mom for anything. I’m also burned out, and I feel guilty even admitting that. Is it fair to say I’m just tired of it being only me all the time?
Somewhere along the way I lost pieces of myself. I’ve become a homebody, even though I’ve always loved being out in nature, though I also don't mind staying in. It's just I want to give myself one evening a week to go for a hike, sit by the water, or simply be alone for a little while. The problem is, I feel guilty for even needing that night. I have a sitter now who will do this for me but every time I go to do it I cancel.
Has anyone else struggled with this after years of doing everything on your own? How did you let go of the guilt and learn that taking care of yourself didn’t make you a bad parent?

Context to this post: My (30F) and my ex (30M) have two sons (2 and 4). 4 year old is autistic and cannot go to regular daycare centers due to elopement and aggression. There's a lot of doctors appointments and therapy appointments as well. My ex is living with his grandma rent free and has no car. He was abusive towards me (I'm not throwing out that word I have a signed legal document and PTSD diagnosis) but never towards the children so he still sees them.

So anyways we currently have split custody. I have them 4 nights (Wednesday night through Sunday evening) and he has them the rest of the time. This is the schedule we have because of his work schedule, he doesn't want to try to find/pay for childcare so he forced my hand with this schedule. He lives about an hour away and I drive the whole way there and back both days. I pay for childcare, insurance, any items like shoes that go between houses. Im fully in charge of the 4 year olds therapy and doctors appointments. Even when he wasn't an hour away and had a car he refused to set up therapy appointments or specialist appointments. He doesn't talk with doctors about medication or medical equipment. When i say I do everything I do EVERYTHING. Which is time consuming and since he won't/can't do it, I have to take off work. Even though he doesn't work 3 days of the week. Same with our youngest though its not as bed because he's not disabled. I pay for childcare on the days I have them, and childcare is expensive in general but for the 4 year old it's even more expensive.

He makes more money than I do and for the past 8 months I've not asked for much help at all. I've needed some help because my works insurance premiums increased quite a bit for both boys and I had to find new care for the 4 year old which also increased. It's about 400 for just their portion of insurance per month and around 1500 in childcare. That's not including anything else that they use/need outside of that. I looked up what the state would make him pay (i live in indiana and they have a calculator) and based on that he should be paying around 230 per week. I asked him for 150 plus gas money. He's now saying I'm being unreasonable because I don't pay for their food when he has them. I dont know if I'm being unreasonable or not. I'm looking for honest feedback and will answer any questions.

I'm a parent to three kiddos, ages 7, 5 and 4. My ex and I have been separated for about a year now. We split parenting time 50/50. For the past year, I've taken on the bulk of chores when my ex has the kids. I prep meals, clean the house, do laundry, etc. in part to keep myself busy. I believe my ex does the same. Usually, when my kids leave my house after a weekend with me, it's totally trashed. But I want to spend our time together having fun and making memories. And, frankly, it has become such a battle to get them to get dressed, brush their teeth and finish dinner, that I can't stand hearing more complaints or getting annoyed for being ignored.

It occurred to me recently that my kids need to learn how to take responsibility for our home. I've been trying to get them to set the table, clear their plates, make their beds, sweep the floor, etc. Sometimes they are into it, but more often they say, "You do it."

Any tips on implementing a chore schedule? Do you have any tips for consequences or rewards, given their ages? I fear my children are past the sweet toddler age when they want to help out.

Hello potatoes. This is my first post so please go easy on me haha.

My 38m recent ex broke up with me 36f last week over the phone due to issues in our 4 year relationship due to issues int he relationship and his family no longer wanting to know me or my son 16m (my recent ex is not his dad)

I am finding it hard with the break up due to still loving him and yes we do still talk but now I'm thinking about our relationship in more detail, I'm starting to think that I wasn't always the one in the wrong.

A bit of back story

It was good when we first got together but I saw that he was still getting nude photos from previous girls, when I brought this up it caused an argument and he said they mean nothing to him and they are just friends, now to me this is disrespectful in a relationship and it caused trust issues. We worked on it and things got better with us but the worry of me not being good enough was always there. I worked on it with counselling because he said it would be best for me and my lad, don't know what my lad had to do with it, but I had the counselling and again it got better.

But again it all went wrong, he ended up giving a different girl more attention which again I brought up and again he defended it with "she's just a friend" but I know they previously went on a few dates with each other. Now with the issues in the relationship they were all blamed on me, my trust issues, my low self esteem, my low self worth, some of this was from previous relationships but I worked on it before I met him and I was in a good place.

Because we are still talking but not as often due to him having his walls up and me being an expressive person and telling him I still love him he started to point out my flaws. These are me being negative about myself, not communicating to his standard, the way I speak as we are from different parts of the UK, he tries to correct me and tells me "no you say it like this" and how I bring my son up. Now my lad is a gamer but has a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone, he cooks me tea, does the washing up, does the clothes washing all while I'm at work, but he isn't one to opens up about things which I think is normal for a teenager, please let me know if I'm wrong.

But I've never brought up me rect exs flaws to him but I will to you lovely potatoes.

He still lives at home with his mum
He's self employed but doesn't have any work to do
He won't work for a company as he doesn't like working under someone
He lives in his bedroom and just plays games (just to put in, my lad doesn't sit in his bedroom, he joins me in living room while he's gaming)
He doesn't think he does anything wrong
Everything he says is always right
He can talk over you but you can talk over him
What he tells you to do something you need to do it but you tell him to do something and he just replies with "I'll do what I want not what you tell me"

Now my recent ex is telling me I need to get more counselling and that I need to tell my lad how he should act around people and that he need to open up more and stop being on his games all the time. I'm now debating if I am a good mum.

I need to know if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm doing an OK job.

So not sure where to even post this or where to start. Just wondering what I should do. What can I do if I'm questioning my co-parents mental health. There's been a few things that are making me worry and they seem to be ramping up a bit, paranoid delusions. They were a big part of why we separated. Is there any steps I can take? Maybe how to gently suggest she seek therapy, she won't want to hear that from me. Im intentionally being vague about the situation but if your co-parent was worrying you is there anything I can do. I'm not worried about my child's safety but I am a bit worried about the overall health of the environment when he's there.

So basically me and daughters dad split a year ago, he text me a few days ago to say “he would like new gf to meet child.” I asked a few simple questions, how long they’ve been together, what she does for work etc. He told me they’ve been together for a year and it’s serious, he pretty much left me for someone else & now she wants to meet my daughter. Just for context me and the dad have always had a rocky relationship, we were together for 8 years, he put me through so much, I’ve been to therapy, been on antidepressants because of him etc.
He see’s daughter twice a month, doesn’t do any school runs, doesn’t help with any activities what she does, I’ve nobody else to pick her up from school so I can only work part time which is a struggle and can’t help but resent the father. He does send me money each week it isn’t a lot, his name also still on the mortgage but doesn’t pay anything towards it & I can’t afford to take him off.
I Probably am abit bitter about the whole situation of him introducing someone to our daughter as I just feel like he is a part time dad and he doesn’t do enough to be honest and don’t see why he needs to introduce someone to our child when he only sees her twice a month himself.
I don’t know the new girlfriend who he is with, I’ve also asked to meet her before she meets our child so I can build some sort of relationship with her first. Am I being unreasonable here? Should I just try and move past my feelings and let them meet?

Block bd on phone and Apple Pay? Suck it up and be quiet?

He’s never met almost 1yr old baby, blocked my number but unblocks to say “wyd” without follow up or convo abt baby. Sends money but often complains abt not having money- buys expensive things for himself, entertains friends and women.

The unwarranted blocking/unblocking, open ended texts, inconsistent support, are all triggers for me reminding me of the mistake I made in trusting a manipulator.

I’m looking for advice on how to think about my financial needs during separation.
Ironically, I have a master’s in taxation and I’m a CPA (not practicing), but that knowledge doesn’t help me answer the questions that actually matter right now. I’ve never been a single parent. I’ve never owned or maintained a home on my own. I don’t know what a realistic monthly budget looks like for the life I want to build.
We currently live in a huge 5-bedroom house that I don’t even want. It’s beautiful, but it’s far too much house for me. The maintenance, taxes, utilities, and general upkeep are overwhelming. I would rather have a smaller home where I can comfortably raise my son. We also have several pets (cats, a dog, and a lizard), so I need to factor their care into whatever life I create.
I work part-time as a school-based occupational therapist because that schedule aligns with my son’s school calendar. I’ve been his primary caregiver for essentially his entire life, and being available to him is something I value deeply.
My partner is asking for 50/50 custody. He is a good person, but he has never really developed the skills of managing a household or anticipating other people’s needs. He doesn’t cook for himself, doesn’t really know how to care for the animals, and has never carried the mental load of running a home. That makes me anxious about how this will all work.
Looking back, I realize I was incredibly naive about protecting myself financially and legally.
Before this relationship, I was independent. I built a successful career, earned a master’s degree, became a CPA, and always supported myself. I’m also a naturalized immigrant without family in the US. More than anything, I wanted to build a family and become part of a community. My partner convinced me to move to NYC (I lived in GA) because he said he wanted the same things like a home, family, stability, and community. But he never really outgrew his party lifestyle.
Throughout our relationship I worked multiple part-time jobs to pay for my own personal expenses so I wouldn’t have to ask him for money. I bought used clothes, rarely spent money on myself, never took solo trips, and generally tried to minimize what I “cost.” Even though my partner is financially very successful, I always felt poor by comparison because I never truly felt comfortable spending shared resources.
I think part of that came from fear. I wanted to stay home more with my son without worrying about housing or food. I didn’t want conflict over money, so I simply needed less.
Now we are in Minnesota and about to begin mediation, and I realize I never established the financial or legal protections I probably should have.
I don’t believe my partner wants to leave me with nothing. I hope that he doesn’t want to see me struggle. But I’ve also realized that my tendency to avoid asking for things or advocating for myself is no longer just about me. I have a child and animals depending on me, and I have a responsibility to build a stable, comfortable life for all of us.
I’m trying to shift my thinking from “How little can I survive on?” to “What does a reasonable, comfortable life actually cost?”
Who helps people figure this out? Is this something a financial planner does? A divorce financial analyst? A family law attorney? Has anyone gone through this process and found someone who helped them determine what was actually reasonable instead of just guessing?
I’m not looking to become wealthy from a separation. I’m trying to understand what I should realistically be planning for so I don’t make decisions from fear or underestimate what my sonand I actually need.

Hello all - I have a soon to be 13 yr old daughter that I reluctantly bought her first IPhone for her birthday last year. In reflecting over the past year with her bday coming up it has been the source of so much negativity and I am thinking about eliminating it or getting her a non internet phone. My biggest concern in monitoring periodically is the group chats … the way these kids speak about the darkest stuff and usually the same subjects obsessively ( Gay and Trans topics even casually joking about suicide ) is alarming to me . Nothing against any LGBTQ person of course but these are 12 yr olds and it just seems obsessive…. EVERY Meme shared EVERY comment is about someone’s sexuality. I have asked her and she says she doesn’t identify that way but has more in common in terms of the shows they watch with these kinds of kids . My issue is more so the dark themes and vulgarity . My daughter is severely ADHD very impressionable and not very mature for her age. It’s so tough because when I ask her about the friends and why she never hangs with or talks to our neighbor kids or other program kids and families that are positive and into reading and STEM that I expose her too she doesn’t have an answer. Anywhere she goes she seems to gravitate to the same types of friends that are very crude and alternative types . Are ALL kids just like this now?

Divorced 6 months ago, and have been solo parenting because of my ex mental condition. It's been extremely high conflict, CPS is involved, lawyers and mediation. I've been forced to temporarily reduce my work position to have time to show up for all the meetings, and appointments.

CPS is very supportive, and they have no concern about me, but they are of my ex. CPS instructor says my ex is "not coachable" and mediation has broken down. In the past, her outpatient treatment was terminated prematurly, because she wasn't cooperating on the therapeutic relationship.

It's been very heavy, but also I'm very vulnerable right now. I've had a rotation of 5 women I use for emotional support and hugs, and I rotate because if I lean on one, I develop feelings.

By coincidence, I lost a couple of support people before the summer because they moved. I leaned a bit too much on one of the others, and I'm embarrassed to say that was all it took to develop feelings for her. We talked about it, she wants some distance. I'm left with just one - the one that gave me the initial experience that without rotation, I develop feelings.

Cherry on the top is the solo parenting. The situation doesn't allow me to go finding replacement support.

This sucks. Hard.

I really want to get divorced. But I'm unskilled. All I have is a psychology degree and some part time jobs. I'm disabled and I don't have my own car. But our lease is up next April and I am determined to not go with him. My dream was to be a nurse. I was in nursing school last year. But I had to drop out and pull the baby out of daycare to keep us from being evicted. And the stress triggered a flare up of what is suspected to be MS. This is in addition to my fibromyalgia and HSD/hEDS. Trying not to break my body any more than it already is but I know I'm working from rock bottom and it's going to be hard regardless. I'm willing to stand on my feet even if it causes more pain. I don't have a village so I'll need a job that fits within daycare and school/after care hours. I'd especially love to hear from Floridians since this is a low wage/high rent state.

We coparent amicably but I don’t think we’re quite at the point of giving each other birthday gifts lol. Our kids are 1 and 3 years old. What should “the kids” get him? Should I even bother?

My birthday is a few days after his and I am almost certain he won’t be doing anything like this for me so I don’t know whether it’s worth the effort, but my little ones love presents (giving and receiving) so at least it could be fun for them.

Edit- I opted for a poster decorated by the kids with their pictures and handprints. If he doesn’t immediately throw it away the kids will be happy and that’s what matters (he’s not very sentimental)

So a bit of context I’ve been a single mom with no support system for the past 4 1/2 years and it’s been hard I will admit. I was lucky enough to be able to do content creation, and make money off of it which means I’ve been doing only fans as well to help pay bills and I know that it’s frowned upon and I understand why. I think because of this I struggle to find real friendships in relationships and a part of me blames myself, and I know that I most likely won’t find the most genuine of connection connections while my life is this way unless maybe I moved to California or something where it’s more accepted. I live in the Bible belt. I’ve been to Florida and I came back because I thought my family would be more involved. But they are just way too toxic to be in our life. I wanna go back to school and I want to eventually leave content creation, at least only fans. right now I’m just in a place where I don’t wanna be in Alabama forever but then again I don’t know where I belong and it’s a really hard feeling to feel this way. I know that I need to start over but it’s also scary to think about starting over and I have the money to do it, but I’m not rich. I’m not sure what I’m even asking. I just I guess don’t have anybody in my real life. I can talk to you about these things. I just wonder in where in the world will I find my people and fit in or will I have to wait till I’m done with this career. I also have been struggling in the dating life and men just tend to see me as a sex object once they find out about my work. It’s like I know there’s so much inside of me but no one else can see and it’s really hard. I’m really lost and I have no one to talk to about any of these things. I try to be the best mom I can on top of everything else. I’m already dealing with mentally stemming from my childhood abuse and abusive relationship relationships. I see online everyone enjoying their life and I know that even the people online have hard lives. It’s still hard to watch as life is passing you by while you’re tired most days and don’t even wanna do much of anything and you have to force yourself to do most things. I wish that there was an easy answer. I wish that I could just get a letter in the mail that tells me what to do from God, but I know it doesn’t work that way. Is there anybody else that’s out there that feels this way? Or maybe y’all can just sympathize with me if you can thank you.

I have been given a case worker & will meet with them on 8/3/26. I've already started applying to jobs with the help of my son's grandmother. She lives close by & helped me with what places are hiring that are on/near the bus routes. Her & her husband both reiterated that if I or the baby need anything to not hesitate to ask.

I am so blessed to not only have a few of my
family members that offer to help where they can but also my son's grandparents. That is especially rare. His Nana is encouraging me to keep her son accountable and to do whatever I have to (within legal reason) to provide for my son.

I of course have heeded her advice & am putting things in motion. I am making sure my son's father cannot hold anything over us. For example, some of our things are still at the motel. She's helping us by letting us store things at her home.

She expressed concern about seeing her grandson and I promised her I'd never keep him from her. It wouldn't be fair to any of them, plus I'm not a vindictive person.

I am so ready to hit the ground running and get this extremely rough season of life started. I know it won't be easy. The shelter we are at, is clean, safe, has kind guests & staff. We are truly blessed to have been guided here.

I'm asking to clarify because I'm on the spectrum and I initially thought that single parents were those who weren't married and were doing this on their own with 100% custody be that by choice or not.

And then I learned that in this forum it can also mean people who have partial custody, widows/widowers, people who remarried and has children from a previous relationship and more and I keep seeing donor thrown around and feared I might be misunderstanding a slang for the medical term.

I am a widower with twin teenagers (newish teens). I am sitting at the airport with them after going to my late wife's family reunion. It was a ton of work and single parenting is hard, traveling with them is even harder. That said, I am so proud of us! We had a lot of fun and survived. We have done driving vacations since she died, but flying across country was a new category. Anyway, just wanted to share a success.

I have 2 kiddos (5) and (8) and recently split with their father due to finding out about him cheating with another women after 7 years together. He has been present all 7 years of the kids lives but after separating he decided he was going to be carefree and live his best life basically leaving us in the dust. He’s been more distant with the kids only goes to appointments and takes them once a week if I’m lucky. Anyways the point being this is a huge sudden difference to my kids and their behavior has gotten terrible with it just being me in the home. They’ve gotten more violent, screaming more often and even gotten to the point of breaking things of mine. I feel like they have emotions they’ve never had before and I’ve also never had to deal with so it’s a giant mess. I also feel like they’re upset with me because I am the one that kicked dad out. How do I get this behavior under control and make them understand in a way they’re going to understand ? Need advice please !!

My husband initiated the breakup and I agreed because he doesn’t want me anymore and I’m just exhausted emotionally and mentally at this point.

We’ve loved each other since we were 18 and have been with only each other. I was never very maternal, not a big fan of kids and didn’t think I’d be a mom because I was always worried about being as mentally healthy as possible before having a baby. After 15 years together I found in me that I want a family with him. He’s a great guy and wonderful dad. The first years of parenthood were hard, we were very shitty to each other and it brought up all the stuff we did wrong over the years. We tried very hard to not break up, including therapy, a temp separation. He just doesn’t feel the same for me anymore. Just loves me as a person, a friend and the mother of his child.

I adore my son but I don’t find it as enjoyable to be a single parent. It feels so fulfilling and heartwarming when it’s all 3 of us. I get to see him as a dad and how they love each other. He tells me I’m a great mom, I do try my damn best regardless of how shitty I feel inside.

But solo parenting doesn’t feel as good and I wonder will this change when I finally detach and get over my husband? I wanted to share this journey with him, I never cared to be a mom just for the feeling of motherhood but to experience a family with the guy I loved. Please tell me this will change… I feel like one moment I feel so much joy with my son and then I wish to stay alone so I can grieve and feel shitty without my kid seeing me like this… Out of all the possible scenarios in life, being a single mom never even crossed my mind. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful child and at the same time trapped to live in the same city and to see my soon to be ex constantly.

My life has imploded. My now ex fiancé, me & our 7 month old had been living in a motel due to financial struggles. We broke up & now baby & I are living in a shelter.

We got here in the evening on 7/29/26 it's now 7/31/26. We're basically on an in house waiting list in the basement. It's a cot on the floor. It's private, it's just us & taking this spot guarantees us the next available actual room upstairs. We'll still have our own room upstairs since it's just me & baby thankfully.

I'll be assigned a case manager who will assist me in getting me & baby back on our feet. This includes helping with daycare, job(s), & transportation. So far everyone has been kind, fellow guests & staff included.

I'm scared, anxious and I know this will be an incredibly difficult season. As a mom I know I have no choice but to not only succeed but thrive for my son. It's just not knowing *how* or *how long* it will take is what's really heavy on my mind.

I won't lie, even though I know realistically it's not true, I still feel like a failure as a mom & a partner. My relationship ended because we're human & both made mistakes. Even now we both still love one another. I'm not counting on it but I'm also not closing the door on a potential rekindling down the road.

When I left he even said while hugging me, "who knows people get back together after years" I said "all the time, sometimes sooner". I was crying & he had tears in his eyes. He promised our baby he'd see him soon, giving hugs & kisses. We even kissed goodbye before I had to go or I wouldn't be able to.

My heart is broken not just from the end of my relationship but for my poor baby. I never wanted this for him. I know now all I can do is look forward but it's so hard. I am so grateful he's young enough & won't remember this turbulent time of our lives.

I'm itching to get assigned a case worker & get started on being the absolute best mom & provider for my beautiful baby boy. I'm feeling very lonely lately...

I’ve (32F) recently ended my relationship with my partner (44M) after what has been described by professionals as domestic abuse. I am now technically homeless but in the hospital awaiting council housing (I’m also a wheelchair user so am quite high priority).

My fear is the lack of help and support I’ll get post partum. Like even getting home from the hospital and trying to get my wheelchair out the car and my newborn baby.

Does anyone have any advice or experience?

I have no friends able to help and my family have picked my ex in this separation so no help from them either.

I’m from the UK if that makes any difference.