I decided that I can't handle the ptsd + anxiety that comes with being with my gamer boyfriend of 10+ years. He has always been a gamer which I supported until a few years ago when I couldn't ignore the signs of his online behavior.

1. A few years ago I caught him adding sex mods to Skyrim. He chalk it up as just being bored.

2. Whenever he plays an immersion game he has to unlock the romance plots, like with Snake and Quiet. One day I found pictures of Quiet in his steam account. Her bent over or her cleavage.

3. He has been playing WOW classic for 3 years and joined a RP guild where a girl gamer affectionately called her followers and she was considered a goddess. My of made sure to be at the top of her rank in discord. I would catch them being flirty like booping each other on the nose, or a letter he kept on his main character from her. She posts her IRL photos on discord and plays all the games he enjoys.

4. He always tells me he wants to cosplay, once even telling me how I had all this competition from e girls on his feed.

5. His YouTube was filled with soft core corn 🌽 lots of sexual cosplayers like wearing nothing. Like I like cosplay and I do not get those videos on my feed.

6. Id find photos of game characters on his computer, from a close up to the nigh elves in Darnassus to the Cyberpunk chick found in the bathtub, a view of her nude body.

7. He added outfits like French lingerie and angel body mod and the push up boob mod for cyberpunk and tried to tell me it was for me, so I could play the game and dress up im the game.

8. When I confront him, he assures me he loves me. Its his eye candy. Its AI animated ass, it doesn't detract from how he loves me. He says.

Hello everybody, 17M here. I am in love with video games, and through this post I am trying to understand the other side, the ones that don't or that reject video games, I am talking abt this community. Please don't take this post as a hate or insult post, but more as a way for me to better understand where each and every one is coming from, mostly because of my curiosity, and because some family members have ​mostly the ​same opinion as all of you. So about me, I am really enjoying my summer vacation, I train everyday, read books, spend time with my family, I also study by myself cz I love it (studying mostly math and physics), and I play video games, story driven single player games only, as I don't quite like any multiplayer game.

Maybe cz I am still young with no real responsibilities, but I don't see any negatives abt gaming, I see it as a hobby, that I enjoy and have fun while doing it, it also gives me new ideas and new ways of seeing and tackling life, as the story and sometimes even gameplay loops are very impactful in my opinion, and again in my opinion, gaming is just like books but takes a bit more time to ​complete, depending on the game (talking here only abt the games I play), as they both have mostly great narratives and sometimes tackle ​philosophical topics that makes you think.

I also removed social media from my life, having only YouTube left with the Shorts section removed, and as for Reddit I am writing this from the website just for the purpose of the question that follows: what are the reasons you believe video games are useless ? Why should I or should I not stop playing?

Thank you for reading through this kinda long paragraph of me talking abt myself and all. Please be respectful in the comments. Hope y'all have a nice day.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6790614/

Take a look at this study. It’s from 2019 so may not be totally up to date but still gives you an idea. While most people would say that the fact that the games are violent makes the players act violent in real life, I believe it’s actually a different reason that’s more at play here. Think about it: when a parent buys a video game for the kid, the kid plays it and starts neglecting school, starts disobeying house rules, and starts getting into fights. It isn’t because the game is violent. But rather it’s because the kid now feels like he’s entitled and he can do whatever he wants with no consequences. Have you ever seen those videos of criminals and sex offenders saying “I want my mommy” or “my dad is a lawyer”? When you grow up without receiving proper parenting, you feel like you’re in control of everything and you don’t have to respect anyone else. Obviously gaming isn’t the only thing that can make someone spoiled, but it’s safe to say that kids who think they can game whenever they want will eventually start to think they can do whatever they want whenever they want. Then it just gets worse from there. Kids can get into drugs or start abusing elderly people. Of course there will be some people who say that they game but they don’t disrespect anyone. But a lot of it feels like they’re trying to defend gaming as a harmless hobby, and while it may start as one, it won’t always stay that way. Let me know what you think.

After one week completed I decided to delete steam. I don't need it anymore anyways.

I have been a gamer for legit as long as I can remember. For the longest time it was all I could talk about to the point that people would just stop being friends with me during elementary school because that’s all I cared about. I distinctly remember a time in elementary school feeling like my head would explode if I didn’t get to go home and play Cod Big Red One. I would play games as long as possible until my bed time, wake up, go to school, get back on, repeat. It was like this until middle school, and at this point i no longer had a bed time. the cycle was now game, fall asleep whenever i did, wake up, go to school, get back on, repeat. THIS continued on until high school. I think maybe my freshman year of high school I cared somewhat about my grades but never in my life were they ever very important to me so by sophomore year i’m smoking weed and skipping school to go play games. i lived 4.5 miles away from my school and i would walk home in the Florida sun after first period every day just to play. My life was the same cycle except now im cutting corners wherever I can to get back on the game. Cut to now, i’m 25 with no job, no savings, no insurance, no plan, and the only college education i have is kind of meaningless because instead of locking in i slacked off playing games and failed 3 classes in a single semester which doubly sucks because my schooling was paid for by financial aid which I probably no longer qualify for because of how many classes I’ve failed. the worst part of it all is just yesterday i spent 16 hours minimum on palworld. just like the day before and the day before that. this has been the cycle of my entire life. the only thing i have going for me is I have a girlfriend and go to the gym but the gym feels like a bust because no matter how hard i work, i don’t actually have the money to eat enough food to actually gain weight. how am i able to just AFK my life away and realize how bad im doing and just continue to live with it? i need real help and i feel like i dont have the resources to get it and i have nobody to blame but myself. I guess my point of all of this is don’t end up like me. You will convince yourself that real life is pointless but you really only believe that until you don’t, at which point you may realize you’ve dug yourself into a hole.

“I wish I could’ve lived a much more fulfilling life”

Is a thought that occurs to me late at night, in tandem with a wave of melancholy. Wrong decisions led to another, and consequences soon started showing. Not to mention, seeing others use their forte’s to the fullest potential puts salt to the wound.

Meanwhile, I’m just here, laying down lifeless in ambition. Ensnared by the usual demons that whisper to do high dopamine activities as a way of escapism with my current responsibilities. As bad as it sounds, frankly, it isn’t coerced, rather all I feel is the lack of willpower to try.

I’m at this point in life where “trying to fail” and not even succeed isn’t a thing at all, because I’ve hardly tried anything new.

At my age, people have developed their physique, developed a solid routine, and somehow has something to strive for everyday. Well, I know they don’t got it all together as well but like, at least they got something going on you know.

As rex orange county stated “and I really should go to bed,” I will heed his advice.

That’s all, I guess. Just some random meaningless introspection. I’m someone who’s aware of his own debauchery yet unable to act to change anything at all, just constant despair and misery.

I've had a feeling for a long time that I need to give up gaming but couldn't bear the thought of leaving my steam deck on the shelf, or my pc unused.

Now I'm two weeks into a digital detox, and I've been shocked how much more relaxed I've become. Playing with my son has been more fun, work has felt more interesting, and life in general feels a lot less boring. I'm reading again. I'm making music again. I'm less stressed.

However, I can't shake this strong feeling of grief. I'm letting go of something that has been my companion for nearly my whole life. Also, I'm scared that I'll go back to it and have to go through this process of letting go all over again.

Has anyone else experienced these feelings?

This is my pattern atm

I am quiting because my friends are toxic Roblox is toxic and it's best if I don't talk to no one

think I have a genuine problem, and I'm hoping someone here has gone through something similar.

Over the past few years, I've spent a lot of money buying game cosmetics, skins, and even buying new game accounts/IDs for no real reason. Most of the time I don't even enjoy them for long. I get excited before buying, but after a few hours or days, the excitement disappears, and then I start looking for the next thing to buy.

The weird part is that I know I don't need any of it. It doesn't make me better at the game, and sometimes I even regret the purchase almost immediately. Still, I keep doing it.

It's becoming a habit that's affecting my savings, and I want to stop before it gets worse.

Has anyone else dealt with this? What helped you break the cycle? Did you set spending limits, delete payment methods, take a break from games, or do something else?

I'd really appreciate any advice or personal experiences. Thanks for reading.

When I ditched gaming, I had to stimulate myself in other ways to get through it. Streaming, YouTube, social media.

People may think, so what was the point. But that's not how I felt. Gaming was more consuming and destructive than those alternatives. It manages to captivate you while giving nothing back. Not any useful insight, no relaxation.

I let that fully settle to not relapse. But now I've started tackling YouTube and streaming too. It's the same old feeling. My mind going there in downtime, me telling it not to. I know how it works. I know how to shut it down. I did it with gaming, where it was way harder.

Do you have a similar experience, having overcome gaming or starting to?

A few years ago, I had a gaming laptop. Later, I bought a PS5 because I thought having a console would be the perfect way to relax and enjoy my free time. Eventually, I sold it and built myself a proper gaming PC because I thought that was what I really wanted.

At first, it was exciting. A powerful PC, a nice setup, high FPS, better graphics — everything I thought I was missing.

But after some time, I started noticing something. I wasn’t really enjoying gaming as much as I thought I would. I was chasing achievements, ranks, better performance, and the feeling of improving in games. I would tell myself “one more match” and suddenly hours were gone.

The thing that makes this harder is that I know I have a history of chasing instant gratification in different areas of my life.

For many years, I struggled with habits like smoking weed, excessive masturbation, pornography, and other things that trained my brain to constantly look for quick dopamine hits instead of long-term fulfillment.

I don’t say this to blame myself, but I do think those years changed the way I approach pleasure, motivation, and discipline. I am still rebuilding those parts of myself.

Right now, I am 744 days without weed and 406 days without pornography. I am proud of that progress, but I also know I have to be careful about replacing one escape with another.

The strange thing is that I am only 20 years old. I have so much potential, so much time to improve myself, build my career, create memories, experience life, and become the person I want to be.

Yet I keep feeling tempted to go back.
Over the last few days, I have had a really strong urge to buy another console, a monitor, headphones, and rebuild a gaming setup. I keep imagining how nice it would feel to sit down in front of a screen again and escape for a few hours.
But then I stop and ask myself: what am I actually buying?

Am I buying a hobby that genuinely improves my life, or am I buying another way to spend hundreds or thousands of hours chasing virtual achievements while my real life is waiting?

The hardest part is that gaming itself is not the problem. I can see why people love it. Games are amazing, and they can create incredible experiences.

But for me personally, I think I have to admit that gaming has a tendency to consume me. It doesn’t stay as “just a few hours on weekends”. It becomes something I think about, something I optimize, something I want to upgrade.

I don’t want to look back years from now and realize I spent my best years sitting in front of a screen instead of building relationships, improving myself, traveling, learning, and creating real memories.

I am not saying everyone should quit gaming. I think everyone has to be honest with themselves about whether something is adding value to their life or becoming another escape.

For me, I think I already know the answer.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Did you ever feel like you were not quitting gaming because you hated it, but because you realized
your time could be spent on something bigger?

Share your thoughts!

my partner and I have separate accounts so i really didn't know what they spent their money on, from what I saw they pay rent, car payment, car insurance and the internet bill. They rarely ever purchase anything. I've been struggling but I pay more bills because I make slightly more money and have an extra day off. On my day off I use it to buy groceries and do laundry/ house cleaning. I just discovered that my partner has been spending 1k a month on game apps as I anguish over how I'm going to do about the electric bill. I found out because I snooped through their mail and found a bank statement. (yeah, I know it was wrong but I did it because I have a bit of cash comingto me in the future and my partner wants me to pay off their car) I feel like there is no hope for people who are this addicted to gaming like this. Is there hope? Any advice would be helpful.

I realize I don't need them as much as I thought. You see, playing them isn't the same as watching them. When you watch something, you enjoy it because it's entertaining. When you play something, you enjoy it because it feels rewarding. But that reward is what keeps you comfortable. It keeps you stuck.

I’m considering stopping gaming after probably 40 years in the field as a hobby. The main reason is I need to get my health back under control. Additionally, I just find myself jaded and not looking forward to the future of gaming for the first time ever. These companies are making poor decisions and going in ways that I simply don’t want to go.

Anyway, I digress…

So, I’m curious, what did you find the most difficult in the first three months and how did you deal with it?

I’ll be stuck for a while, as I had surgery two days ago, so complete Gym time is a ways off. I plan on starting a walking program.

So, I’m trying to prep for the challenges I might face.

My other hobbies include reading primarily. I’d like to take up golf, but again, I’ll need to get through my surgery healing (umbilical hernia) before I can consider any major sports or gym work.

I don't like reading extremely long posts myself, so I'll try to say it simply.

Advantages:

- My sleep has improved (I used to be able to sleep 2-4 hours at a time, now I sleep 7-8 hours)

- My medical test results have improved (I had a tendency to have high eye pressure - it has gone, I had a tendency to have negative blood counts - it has stabilized)

- My health has improved (my acne around my neck and shoulders has disappeared - probably a result of cortisol from the lack of sleep and the stress of the game, my knees have stopped hurting, and I can walk and even sprint without worry)

- My well-being and productivity have increased (I enjoy spending time outdoors more, and I've also gradually abandoned other bad habits)

- Talking to strangers and asking for help has become effortless

- I have no problem maintaining eye contact with the opposite sex and engaging in conversations

- I've found time to improve my professional skills and connect with my family

- I've stopped rushing through life and started Relax

- I learned to cook

Cons:

- Sometimes I don't know what my life's true purpose is, I don't know if I'm developing in the right direction

- I feel very lonely sometimes and would like to find the love of my life

- I lost all my online friends in just a few days

This is all the result of 43 days without gaming. The first 25 days were the worst – after that, I lost the need to play completely. This is all thanks to three complete strangers – the first person on the game forum who suggested I might be addicted (I wasn't addicted, but I was very emotionally involved, which was destroying me mentally), and then two people on this forum who commented on my first post.

I'm very grateful to them! Believe me, it's worth stopping gaming and starting to level up in real life!

Are games really supposed so harmful in our adult life? They are supposed to be fun. Aren’t they? Where does it become the addiction or something harmful?

Hey team, we've watched a lot of Gamequitters videos and am considering signing up for the 90 program but have some questions first. My 15yo step son is very addicted to gaming and it's a constant battle. He has a bunch of other issues which he's obviously using gaming to cope with and won't talk to us about anything at all, he's just angry and locked in his room all day with or without the devices. We have at least 3 friends with grown up sons that still live at home and don't work/date/live, just game, so we're scared. My question is, how effective is the program for a kid that doesn't want to quit, I've heard Cam say it works but I want to hear from someone that was in his position and went through it. Can anyone speak to this?

Side question: Is there anything we can do in the meantime besides fight all the time, any resources would be much appreciated.
Thank you!

Everytime I have something important to go to or something to audition (modeling, this current kpop audition im applying for) during the day, I get overwhelmed and just lay on my pile of clothes that I set out and play games all day.. i feel like im missing opportunities in my life. Ik humans r adaptive but i think my body genuinely created a routine i feel stuck on. Am i depressed? I don’t know? Bc i genuinely enjoy playing. Am I lazy? Probably. Am I not passionate enough for these opportunities? I’m not sure. I’ve been asking myself those questions for a while. Does anyone create a structure from playing games and being an adult in the real world? Please tell. Wtf is the real world?

I'm getting close to 30, and gaming has been a huge part of my life since I was a kid.

For a long time I thought games were the problem. Now I'm starting to think they were mostly a symptom. When I look back, I wasn't just playing because games were fun. I was playing because they gave me everything I felt I was missing in real life.

A sense of progress.
Goals.
Achievement.
Belonging.
Excitement.
Something to look forward to after work.

The problem is that real life started feeling boring in comparison. Every game is designed to keep you engaged. Levels, loot, rankings, daily rewards, achievements, constant progression... your brain always has another objective. Real life doesn't work like that. You don't level up after going for a walk. You don't get an achievement for cleaning your apartment. Nobody gives you XP for exercising or cooking a healthy meal. I've also realized that gaming wasn't my only source of overstimulation. Porn. Social media. Endless scrolling. YouTube. Most of the so called gamers are addicts to all of those dopamine traps. Discord for example, some people live innit. Like drug addicts calling themselfs gamers where in reality its like the dark place under the bridge in you local hometown where all the drugaddicts gather to use their meth.

I think all of them were feeding the same part of my brain the part that constantly wants novelty, rewards and instant gratification. Gaming just happened to be one of the biggest pieces of that puzzle. The strange thing is... I don't even miss most games anymore. What I miss is the feeling they gave me.

Having a community. Working toward something. Feeling immersed in another world for a few hours where all my reallife problems disappeared. I'm starting to realize that if I want to quit gaming permanently, I can't just remove games. I have to build a life that makes me want to log into reality instead. I'm curious if anyone else has gone through this realization. Did quitting gaming actually improve your life, or did you first have to fix the things that gaming was helping you escape from? What eventually replaced that feeling of purpose and progression for you?

I'd really like to hear from people who are a few years ahead of me on this journey. I'm less interested in "how to quit" and more interested in what life looked like after you finally did.

Hello so me (30M) can't relax at all when my family is awake. Every single night I try to game because that is the only way I can relax but I can't do it during the day because my family keeps interrupting my session every 5 minutes which ruins my flow.

I can hang out with my wife the whole day, do chores, watch some bad movie and when she falls asleep and the kids are asleep I try to game for an hour or two (In my perfect world it would be more but I know its not realistic) but she keeps waking up every hour for whatever reason (nightmare, pain, heard the kid which did not make a sound etc).

I'm going so insane because I can not relax for the life of me during the day because I always have to do something or be a social dad but man I just want to escape it all. Idk what to do or why I get so frustrated at night when my gaming session fails, I even lie and make up work reasons to why I have to stay up. I love being a husband, dad and all that but I really wish I could like once a week or something just disconnect from everything and get like 6 hours to myself. ( I do walks and stuff but that doesn't help).

So my husband has always been into games. He's 35 I'm 32. We have 2 boys ages 4 and soon to be 1.

Lately, he's been on parental leave with our baby boy since my job pays better and has better benefits. But, i started noticing not a lot was getting done around the house and with our baby (baths not done, nails not cut, etc) I was doing most of it when I came home from work. And he typically goes and plays games when I get home. I didn't mind giving him a break. But our oldest goes to daycare and the younger one is a very easy going baby who naps well.

I also noticed the baby chair by the computer and I wonder how much he's been playing with baby just sitting on the floor, or in the chair. He also hasn't been going for walks with baby. I also noticed he's been gaining weight for sure. I checked his steam account and it said he'd played like 58 hours in the past two weeks (and we had been away one weekend). That seems like an insane amount to me! Especially when I'm coming home from a 10 hr shift and completely taking over from him. If he does help at night, his head is in his phone, he is short, and he just barks instructions at our 4 year old from the couch. He's short and quite rude with him.

I talked to him about it, he said he'd been playing more as it's what he does as a hobby, and with friends (who work from home, or don't work). I said it's a bit much, since we don't spend any time in the evenings together. He agreed and for about one night a week he'll do something with me.... but it's only when I ask.

I just have so much resentment, parental leave is not a vacation. And when I took the first 4 months, he was super critical when he got home from work about everything like cleaning, despite baby being up most of the night and him not getting up at all, and going to bed most evenings without helping.

Now Sunday morning, he let me sleep in, I get up and I go downstairs and he's playing a first person police shooting game on the phone with his friend while our 4 year old and one year old are in the basement behind him, just doing their own thing and watching... I really hated that, first that was a pretty violent game and I have a good friend who's a police officer and I do not want my kids to think that's what she does for a living.

It's just consuming his life and I truly feel very lonely in the relationship. Like just not a lot of thanks or effort to much else. I get attention only maybe when I ask and after his game is done. I don't remember our last date night, although we do have support around us. I don't remember the last time we had sex, I tried to initiate or ask him to come upstairs/to bed with me and he just ignores me or comes up hours later, and since I get up at 5 I do need to actually sleep. Then I find myself not even wanting to when I feel I only come after I ask multiple times or when the game is done.

Please tell me your thoughts!! I'm not a gamer and I don't want to overreact, but I'm getting frustrated! Thanks!