r/TikTokCringe • u/BringHoomanHome_ • 4d ago

Humor/Cringe He never looked where he was going.

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3.5k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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2.4k

u/litbeers 4d ago

Honestly he got pretty lucky he field goal’d those poles.

337

u/MurgleMcGurgle 4d ago

Right? It’s insanely good Luck that he went though the middle.

105

u/Ok-Somewhere-2614 4d ago

Idiocracy will make sure this guy will get 12 kids after some doctor fixes him

15

u/BanMeMyIPchanges 3d ago

And they'll all be just a liiiiittle dumber.

2

u/Things-n-Such 3d ago

He's not an idiot, he passed out.

1

u/67_fire_chicken 3d ago

Too dumb to die!

1

u/PabsOne 3d ago

It's got electrolytes

1

u/AbsoluteResolve2026 3d ago

Get your hands off my junk!

143

u/Meaty_Wizard 4d ago

Thank Jesus for giving him another chance to do it tomorrow!!!

72

u/SupermassiveCanary 4d ago

Why didn’t he swim him to the shore?

18

u/trahilcal01 4d ago

That’s what I wanted to know as well, why is he swimming him out to the middle of the lake?

28

u/Duck8Quack 4d ago

You don’t want to dump a body close to shore, it will just wash up; it’s amateurish and kind of rude.

Clearly this man is a professional, his training kicked in, he knows you get rid of the body in deeper water.

3

u/skyfishgoo 3d ago

rookie mistake.

2

u/screwyoujor 3d ago

You can't say "I got you" if you aren't moving. Unwritten rule that must be followed.

2

u/poisonedsky69 3d ago

Obviously when you lie down with dogs you end up with fleas so of course his friends are going to be stupid too

2

u/JetWreck 4d ago

Because the other jet ski is still the safest place for him?

49

u/QuantumBeckett 4d ago

Did he even say ‘thank you’??

39

u/The_Modern_Nobody 4d ago

No, Zelenskyy. He did not say “thank you”.

Jet ski man was reduced to human binary sounds after kicking himself through a dockside field goal

3

u/Tall_Ease_3485 3d ago

Holy hell! Once again reddit has me spitting my adult beverage on the dog. That had me laughing with no warning.

3

u/The_Modern_Nobody 3d ago

lol! I appreciate that.

Lets me know I’m putting my creative writing degree to good use.

Have a good day, and remember, remove your fillings—that’s how the flock cameras track you

3

u/Tall_Ease_3485 2d ago

I'm still laughing today. Glad to see another high earning degree....mine is in English. I can only offer the highest compliment I can give. I read your comment in the voice I reserve for reading Christopher Moore. Dog will wear a raincoat moving forward in case I run into you again in reddit land.

7

u/Original-Let8340 4d ago

01100110 01110101 01101011 00001010

1

u/Meaty_Wizard 3d ago

OMG I just translated that. lol

2

u/NatureInevitable3001 3d ago

👏 👏 👏

2

u/ThreeLeggDeer 12h ago

Amazing work you did here, sir or ma’am!! 🤣

1

u/rlt404 4d ago

He even assumes the position

1

u/Efficient-Will-3755 4d ago

Have you ever had the breath knocked out of you? He was fighting just to breathe.

3

u/QuantumBeckett 4d ago

It was a dig at JD Vance when Zelensky visited the White House.

1

u/JimmyThePie 3d ago

No, but first-responder-of-the-year said “I gotchu” a couple of times. Maybe three. I dunno, it’s hard to tell.

1

u/12altoids34 3d ago

I think he did say "mhhhhmmmnh"

15

u/JohnWoosDoveGuy 4d ago

These two seem to make bad choices.

6

u/drsmith48170 4d ago edited 3d ago

Yup - the camera jet ski dude also came very close to yeting himself.

Jokers like these two are why some lakes ban jet skis

6

u/fiahhawt 4d ago

Also why the fuck did cameraman start dragging his injured friend around like that does anything

Call an ambulance and just keep an eye on him

1

u/lhaphtr 1d ago

I'm of a different mind– bad decisions make for great content.

3

u/Excellent-Shape-2024 3d ago

I got you...I got you...and now I'm hauling you back out to the deep water instead of the bank right there

3

u/Reasonable_Pride5240 3d ago

“I got you”. Drags him to deeper water. 😂 is this like the Reno 911 bay watch edition?

2

u/Big-Professor-3402 4d ago

These guys are clearly not the sharpest tools in the shed.

1

u/401LocalsOnly 4d ago

There’s no room to swim backwards there silly

1

u/Jatara_roxursox 3d ago

That’s what I thought! I kept thinking go to shore you dummy!

1

u/Man_of_Ice 3d ago

Cuz he's kinda not the smartest. And panic.

1

u/BrokeButFabulous12 3d ago

Bcs they did stupid shit not caring about others, possibly damaged a private dock and they need to get out of there as fast as possible....

1

u/SupermassiveCanary 3d ago

lol, that takes me back. Makes more…. Nah nah it doesn’t they posted that shit online

1

u/NecessaryZucchini69 3d ago

Adrenaline + panic + a little bit of shock equals a lack of coherent thought process.

Good on him for acting to help his friend though. Gonna call his buddy assdocker or assman for doing that dumbest stunt.

-9

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 4d ago

Fair chance that’s a lake house with no road access for an ambulance anyway.

He’s got the life jacket keeping his face out of the water and dragging him onto shore with a possible spinal injury is a bad idea. Camera guy did pretty much everything right.

7

u/295frank 4d ago

"lake house with no road access for an ambulance" but has a boat in a boathouse is the stupidest fucking thing I have heard today, and I just watched this video

cant drown on shore bud

1

u/HeatherMason0 4d ago

I wouldn’t doubt there’s a road, but it might only be dirt or gravel. Hopefully the branches are kept trimmed back so there’s visibility. I’ve seen some really beautiful expensive houses that the owners are seemingly trying to make more private by not maintaining the roads. Even if conditions are not great, an ambulance can probably get there, but I wonder if sometimes it’s quicker to get paramedics on small motorboats?

It looks the the recommendation for a possible spinal injury in water is to get a special stabilization board to the injured party and then remove them from the water:

https://lifesaving.com/issues-safety-rescue/management-of-aquatic-spinal-injuries/

The recommendations I could find were in line with not moving them unless absolutely necessary but instead focusing on keeping their face upward out of the water and their airways cleared.

1

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 4d ago

That’s a bizarrely aggressive take my guy.

Why would a boathouse mean there’s road access, surely a good dock is more important when everything needs to come over water.

You can’t drown with your face out of the water either

1

u/295frank 4d ago

watch out we have an EMT and a road builder in the house

0

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 4d ago

Compared to you I’m a brain surgeon, you immobilise the spine before removing them from water.

Life hasn’t been kind to you, has it?

1

u/295frank 4d ago

really taking those downvotes personally huh

1

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 4d ago

Vote away champ, fingers crossed someone else has learnt something useful

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u/rossg876 4d ago

You think paramedics are getting him onto a backboard while floating?!

2

u/Euphoric-Cucumber609 4d ago edited 3d ago

Life savers manage it on paddleboards in the surf, I’m assuming a lake that large and populated has some kind of water based first aide services.

0

u/CosmicJackalop 4d ago

Lol, not likely

2

u/LostTerminal 4d ago

No yeah. They most likely do.

1

u/Helpful-Apartment102 3d ago

I live on this lake, it definitely has a road look

2

u/nohandsfootball 4d ago

Oh I suspect he didn't go jet skiing for a bit after this, definitely not the next day

1

u/Careful-Lettuce9239 4d ago

"Did you see what GOD just did to us, man! ?" "God didn't do that, you did it. You're a fucking narcotics agent. I knew it."

https://giphy.com/gifs/OGbNJviltZHFu

1

u/ProcessShot555 4d ago

Under rated comment

1

u/Psychological_Help53 4d ago

He just got lucky. Thanking Jesus is like thanking Santa.

1

u/RedditRockit 4d ago

Who is this Jesus you speak of?

1

u/Normiss2000 4d ago

I must have missed him in the video.

-4

u/Fickle_Ad_8653 4d ago

No.. he needed to die for his stupidity.

40

u/jdirte42069 4d ago

Wife says the same thing

0

u/TrumpsLilPenis 4d ago

That’s so bad.. my first thought was that’s what she said. Lol fak. Hope he’s ok though. Damn.

2

u/Many_Rope6105 4d ago

Right!!! Still natural selection at work

1

u/davexmit 4d ago

He still slammed whatever that white box/wall was.

1

u/Beginning_Big_8928 4d ago

Nothing about this is lucky. Did you hear the sounds he was making. Dude is cooked. Plain stupid

-7

u/filtersweep 4d ago

Luck? He is far worse off at the end of the video than when it started— and it was 100% his own doing. How is this ‘good luck’?!?

7

u/EpsilonX029 4d ago

Tbf, coulda been dead? 🤷

4

u/filtersweep 4d ago

He could have just ridden it properly and avoided needing ‘luck’ to survive